Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2267

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2267
by Angharad

Copyright © 2014 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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Another day dawned and to my great relief I remembered it was Saturday moments before the radio started. I leant across and switched it off and snuggled back down with Simon.

“As we’re both awake and healthy young adults, we could indulge in some rumpy-pumpy.”

“You what?” I hadn’t heard that term since my childhood, it was the sort of thing my grandparents said.

“Okay, if you don’t understand the euphemism, how about a shag?”

“I prefer cormorants myself, or better still great crested grebes. Did you know the RSPB was formed to save grebes, they were slaughtered in their thousands for the millinery trade.”

“Hats off to the RSPB,” commented my husband.

“Yeah, I need a wee.” Before he could say anything I was out of bed and in the bathroom. He followed me a moment later.

“Don’t pull the flush,” was his only comment until he’d emptied his bladder. “Right now about that shag.”

“Grebe, dear.”

“Look bugger the RSPB, I want to make mad passionate love to you.”

“What for?” I was playing really dumb this morning.

“Because I want to, I’d like to re-consumate this marriage.”

“But we do that two or three times a week if I can stay awake.”

“Let’s do it in the shower, we haven’t done that for ages.”

“Yeah, because we fell over the last time we tried it.”

“This is true,” he sighed and dragged me back to the bed. He was just about to pull off my nightdress and presumably his tee shirt and underpants when Danielle walked in.

“Oops,” she said walked out again.

“Be nice if you knocked next time,” called an irritated hubby.

“Knock, knock,” came the response.

“Go away,” yelled Simon. There was laughter from without.

“Have I got to knock as well?” asked Trish poking her head around the door. “Oh, were you going to have sex–can I watch?”

“No we weren’t and even if we were, no you can’t watch,” I retorted blushing furiously.

“How am I supposed to learn about it then?”

“Read the book,” snapped Si, “if you can cope with Quantum Mechanics, you should be able to cope with a bit of biology.”

“Which book is that?” she smiled sweetly and you just wanted to slap her because it was all over the top sweetness.

“Go away and read or something,” ordered her dad.

“I know, I’ll go and make some breakfast, how d’you fry kippers?”

“You leave those kippers alone, they’re Gramps’.”

“No they’re not, Gramps isn’t a kipper.”

“Trish you know exactly what I said and what I meant.”

“You said that Gramps was a kipper.”

“I did not, I said that the kippers belonged to Gramps.”

“That wasn’t what you said.”

“It was.”

“It wasn’t , babes, you said the kippers were Gramps, implying he was a kipper.”

“Don’t you start, it’s bad enough dealing with Einstein.”

Trish chuckled, she loved being compared to Albert Einstein even though he denied the existence of Quantum.

“Trish, did Apple design their logo in memory of Alan Turing?”

Si was appealing to her intellectual side, her dominant one.

“No, that’s an urban mythis.”

“Mythis?”

“Yeah, like mythter only female.” She darted out laughing loudly.

“You were wrong, according to the know all.”

“Probably am then.”

“It was a nice story.”

“It was.”

“Why is fiction usually better than real life?”

“It’s controlled by its author rather than a supposed god. The author tends to be more merciful than imaginary gods.”

“You think so?”

“Yes I do.”

“You grow ever more cynical.”

“You noticed.”

“I do sometimes.”

He did too, usually things I’d prefer he hadn’t seen.”

“C’mon, I’m going to have a shower.” He followed me into the bathroom again and we actually did perform some sort of sex act which had Simon’s legs all of a tremble.”

“You alright?” I enquired about his health.

“Look, it’s just a knee trembler, every schoolboy knows what those are like.”

“But neither of us are school children.”

“Speak for yourself,” he said and laughed which woke Lizzie. I had to wrap myself in a towel and go and feed her. Oh well, at least it would be warm.

I sat down with her and she smelt so much I decided to change her first. It only took five minutes but even with two nappies she still smelt like a urinal and I improved that in a few minutes–now I could stand her odour under my nose–so to speak.

She was slow feeding this morning and I had to stroke her face to wake her. She’d wake up try to laugh, cough and splutter then that was often accompanied by a sneeze which always made me want to hold her. Babies sneezing are so funny. I remembered the one of the baby panda sneezing and appearing to slip backwards from the shock. The mother who was stuffing on a suitable piece of bamboo was surprised and it showed.

We finished showering and I dried and dressed and was down about fifteen minutes later where I saw Trish sitting at the table with Gramps who was sharing his kippers with her. I didn’t even know she liked them.

Her expression to me was one of smugness, she’d got what she wanted without my support. In some ways that was what Danni had done in getting her operation–though at some cost in pain alone. Then the worry with the overdose–perhaps she’ll listen next time–yeah and pigs will fly.

I made Simon a coffee and did a tea for myself, then I placed bread in the toaster and began to butter it when it was done. While Si ate three slices I mashed a banana on my single slice and ate it, finishing as Danni, Meems and Livvie arrived downstairs with Stella and her two nuisances. Cate appeared a moment later and the three of them played havoc with the others over breakfast.

“I need to do a supermarket shop, anyone want to come?”

There was silence until Danni said, “I’ll come, Mummy.”

“Okay, sweetheart, go and finish dressing and we’ll be off.”

She wore jeans like I did and we went off together in the Jaguar ending up in Asda. I spent an arm and a leg on groceries and Danni increased my costs by conning me into buying her a new skirt and top. In a few short weeks she’d be in school–a girls’ school–which I hoped would not be an ordeal. I watched her round the supermarket and no one paid any notice except a couple of young men–well she is quite a pretty kid and has learned enough about makeup from her sisters to make the best of herself. I didn’t know if I envied her or not–I’d have loved to have been able to live as a girl at age thirteen–I had to wait another ten years. Still, I seem to have done okay in so many ways.

We were moseying towards the checkout when my tummy flipped, walking towards us with a trolley load of groceries was Ms Vallance and we had nowhere to go. Noting my peculiar facial expression, Danni looked up the aisle and saw her.

“Mummy, don’t let her see me,” she whimpered but it was too late, we were headed at each other like Titanic and the iceberg.

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Comments

It's her "common" roots

Oh well, I'm sure Cathy and company will do just fine.

Shurely shome mishtake.

I think you meant Waitrose ...

Distant Sunshine

Crickey!

I thought Asda's was an expensive supermarket but then I shop at Aldi's and Lidle's. How low can a girl get?

As to the 'rumpy-pumpy' well you can never be too old for that but the last thing one needs is uninvited observers! Trish needs a few instructions in privacy.

Another enjoyable epistle Ang, thanks again.

Bevs.

bev_1.jpg

The Meeting Should Be Interesting

In case there are others with suspect memories like mine and don't recall Ms Vallance right away:
She's the social worker from 2250 that I believe is currently suspended from Social Services and under investigation for her role in Danielle being taken by Social Services.

Thanks for that.

I hadn't a clue who Ms Vallance was/is. Ang should offer clue when she reintroduces her myriad characters :) She should remember some of her readers are getting to the forgetful period in life.

Robi

Well, without SocServ protection...

thliwent's picture

She opens herself up to the wrath of the Woman of the Bike.

The Woman of the Bike has no mercy for those who seek to harm her or hers.

Take care

Ms Vallance. She needs to be careful of the path she is navigating. Least she runs into the storm goddess Catherin. And suffer a lightning bolt where it would be the least welcome.!!!!!!!

Huggles

Misha

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book

celtgirl_0.gif

NO snogging then eh?

Well, that will keep for another day. :)

G

I don't think...

I don't think they pay Stephanie enough, if she's managed to - mostly - keep the family (relatively) sane...

This next bit of stress isn't likely welcome for Danni.

Thanks,
Annette

baby sneeze

Podracer's picture

Haha yes - kaphlishh!

Great place to meet long lost friends, in the aisle at Asda.

"Reach for the sun."

Here we go,

I'm looking forward to this.