Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 112

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Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad.
part one hundred and a dozen.

I seemed to be spending more time in hospitals than Stella, who was paid for the privilege. Whilst the time spent with my father was a drag, no pun intended, staying with Simon was nearly over before it began.

I hugged him and kissed him and we talked, he nodded off, I nodded off and we hugged some more. They did blood pressures and temperatures, they checked dressings and gave him medication. They even gave him a meal while I was there, and me a cuppa.

I helped him feed himself, cutting up his food was difficult with one arm in plaster and the other bandaged, where the shot had penetrated his Barbour coat. It was quite a recommendation for the coat that so little had damaged him.

He couldn't remember much about it, except he was digging for batteries in my bag when everything went black. I began to realise that my Lowe bag was probably rubbish and the paper which had been floating about was bits of my data book. It had saved his life by protecting his chest, I could be at an undertakers now, paying my respects rather than sitting and joking with this man.

While I was there a policeman called by to take his statement. I left them for a few minutes, then he did mine as well. Afterwards, I asked him about the two men they were questioning.

"Are they the ones who shot at us?"

"Could be, they had shotguns. Forensics will tell us for certain."

"Do you know why they shot at us?"

"They said they shot at a deer."

"In which case, why didn't they come over to check?"

"They said they heard voices and ran off."

"Poachers?"

"Yes, they didn't have permission to shoot there."

"I should hope not, it's a nature reserve."

"Is it? I didn't know that."

"It actually says so although it isn't widely publicised otherwise we would have more visitors which can be a pain, especially when you have kids climbing up to see what's in the next boxes."

"And what's in them?"

"Birds, bats, dormice, occasionally other things."

"Like what?"

" I found a grass snake in one once?"

"What? A grass snake?"

"Yeah, frightened the proverbial out of me until I realised what it was."

"I know they can swim, didn't think they could climb."

"Neither did I. Made a nice anecdotal report in the Mammal Society's annual report."

The copper smiled. "I can't believe that a pretty girl like you goes out there on her own at night."

"Seems the only time I have trouble is when I have an escort." That was a conversation killer and we all reflected on it for a moment. Then I had a thought, "The shooters said they thought they shot at a deer?"

"So they said," he shook his head.

"If they saw the reflection of Simon's image intensifier, which can look greenish, they might consider they had a deer or other animal in their sights."

"Why do deer have green eyes then?"

"I don't know, but badgers do when you shine a light on them."

"Right, I'll try and speak to the officer in charge. See if that was mentioned."

"I mean if they meant to shoot us, why didn't they come and finish us off?"

"Yeah, we wondered that, maybe they just chickened when they recognised the enormity of what they were doing."

"I think thay should ban all guns, except for police and military."

"What about farmers and vets?" offered Simon.

"Maybe. But long sentences for anyone else caught in possession of one." I said showing my prejudice.

"I don't think they're that easy to ban. We've had a handgun ban for several years now and there are as many if not more around than ever."

"Can't think why anyone needs a gun, plus in the States research shows that if you carry a gun you are much more likely to be shot, than if you are unarmed." I was now on my hobbyhorse.

"Same goes for knives, kids who carry 'em are more likely to be stabbed." My police friend was definitely on my side, but then he'd probably had to deal with guns and knives, he was wearing one of those anti-knife waistcoat thingies.

The three of us chatted a bit longer until his radio went off and he took his leave rather rapidly.

"So you think they thought I was a deer, eh?" Simon said to me, his eyes sparkling.

"I think you're a dear," I said and kissed him, "Let's face it, you're far too big to be a pheasant."

"Me a peasant! Huh! I've never been so insulted in my life," his tone of mock indignation made me giggle.

"Stick around Simon, I'm sure I can top that some day."

"You horrible woman, I can't think what I see in you."

"No neither can I, anyway lover, it's nearly eight and I have to run off to be unfaithful to you."

"With whom, anyone I know?"

"I can't comment on that, then you'd have grounds to divorce me."

"Okay, I'll have my butler follow you and take photos."

"Compromising ones?" I asked.

"No, polaroid." He tried to keep a straight face but the pressure told and he laughed then groaned as it hurt his damaged chest and ribs.

I gave him a sexy kiss, and presented him with his paper, then the magazine and finally with a flourish, the bottle.

"Wow Cathy, beats Stella's grapes."

I kissed him again and said goodnight.

"Give my love to Professor Agnew," he called after me.

"Arggh, my secret is out." I said in mock horror.

"What, that you offered sex for a distinction?" he joked.

"Hush, don't tell everyone, they'll all want one."

A little later I related this conversation to Prof Agnew, who replied, "For a distinction? If I were you, I'd hold out for a doctorate. Someone as pretty as you would probably get one."

I blushed as red as the stuffed tomato I was eating, "Why does everyone think I'm pretty, I mean how can I be?"

"Why can't you be?" he asked quietly.

"Because I used to be a boy."

"Only on paper Cathy, you were a pretty boy with delicate features. Now you are a very striking young woman, who many would describe, and I include myself in that number, as beautiful."

"Somebody doesn't think so."

"What do you mean?" he asked looking puzzled.

I told him about the letters and my attempt to photograph the writer. His face changed to one of anger.

"Have you told the police about this?"

"Not yet."

"Why not, poison pen letters are a criminal offence?"

"I hoped it would die a death."

"But who would do such a thing?"

"I don't know. I'd almost prefer them to voice their disagreement, at least then I know who I have to convince they are wrong. Besides, everyone is entitiled to their own opinion, even if it is wrong."

"Have you met much dissent?"

"A little."

"Let me know who they are, I'll point out the university's policy on diversity and difference, and it's response to harassment or bullying."

"I haven't found it a problem yet, if it becomes one, I'll let you know. On the whole I'm prepared for the odd dissenter, provided they keep it verbal."

"No one has to suffer verbal abuse, it's a criminal offence."

"I haven't so far, just a disagreement over toilets."

"Oh jeez, who was that?"

"It doesn't matter, it's resolved itself."

"If you have a problem, let me know. I think the only time it was an issue before, the University Council decided that anyone changing their role full time, should be enabled to use the toilets of their new gender. If anyone found that a problem, the complainer was advised to use another toilet."

"Bit of a double whammy," I said in astonishment.

"Serves them right. After all, what can you see from a cubicle?"

I nodded at his observation.

"Right, what are you having for a main course?"

"I'm quite full already Professor, can I just wait until the dessert and I'll have something then?"

"Watching that lovely figure?"

"Not especially, I'm just not very hungry." In reality, while I enjoyed his company, all I wanted to do was to go home and sleep for a whole day.

"You look tired," he said as if picking up on my thoughts.

"Bit too much excitement, I guess."

"I didn't think my dinners were that exciting," he said winking at me. I knew then it was going to be a long evening.

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My Favorite Addiction

Auntie, I know I told you this privately, but I love this story! Reading it each day is the highlight in an otherwise humdrum life :)

Never let it be said that I don't enjoy the occasional delusion of grandeur

Never let it be said that I don't enjoy the occasional delusion of grandeur

We shall see

I actually thought nefarious evildoers after British Royalty was more interesting. (There's a bad pun in there I won't make.) Of course, the bit about the alleged research into carrying a gun in the U.S. is absolute rubbish, but we are not here to debate gun laws.

Good news - bad news about the data book. The loss is going to cause problems for her, but it gave itself in a good cause. ;)

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way."

College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Green Eyes and Studies

The poachers have a very thin defense, if and only if a British NOD gives off a green glow that resembles that of a cat's eyes when one shines a light at a cat, or other animal, in the dark. The green of a cat's or badger's eyes glowing back at you is from a structure we humans don't have in our eyes, which is called a tapetum (Latin for carpet). The tapetum reflects light forward from the back of the retina, for a second pass that improves the night vision of animals. We don't have tapeta because they interfere with the focus needed for close work—tapeta don't go with prehensile hands.

As for the nonsense about research in the States that "shows that if you carry a gun you are much more likely to be shot, than if you are unarmed," the studies I've come across are really parodies of proper scientific methods. The main deficiency of most of the antigun studies are lack of a large enough sample.

When Florida became the first state to pass a nondiscretionary concealed-carry permit law, the liberals set up a drumbeat of opposition that carried up to the highest levels of the law enforcement community. After violent crime declined as a result of the law, at least the professional police officials who had initially opposed it had the backbone to admit that they were wrong—big time. The success of Florida moved other states to change their laws. The results have been the biggest setback to the american gun-control lobby since 1986, when Federal legislation repealed about half of the Gun Control Act of 1968. (Once again, liberals predicted blood in the streets. Instead, violent crime declined slightly.) Please, Angharad, don't repeat the stale bromides and tired old slogans of the american victim disarmament lobby. They are as all as intellectually corrupt as their last great historian, Michael Bellisles. (Check out Bellisles' story, if you want to see how eagerly the american intellectual establishment hailed him at first, and then tried to sweep his wholesale fabrications under the rug when his critics produced too much evidence to be ignored.)

Probable studies

that it speaks of are sociology ones. At least, I've seen properly done sociology studies about guns and the risks of being shot. The conclusion was drawn that some of those that carry guns feel safer than they actually are and take stupid risks that they wouldn't otherwise, resulting in them being shot in numerous ways -- their own gun chief among those. Another is that when confronted by a mugger with a gun, instead of peacefully giving up the wallet, they try to pull their own gun. Those who properly use and carry guns, and realize the dangers inherent are also included in the study. The results from that part of the study were essentially that more education equals less danger.
Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Wasn't it Jim Henson who said, "Without faith, I am nothing," after all? Wait, no, that was God. Sorry, common mistake...

The Moving Finger writes—

—and having writ, moves on,

You sure have moving fingers, Auntie.

And I suppose the poison-pen person has moving fingers too (with apologies to a certain Mrs A Christie). Cathy should definitely tell the fuzz about them. I'm a bit worried about her notes and stuff in case it affects her research.

And Simon is mending—Aaaaah, bless. I expect that this isn't the first time he has had a problem with poachers.

A good episode, now I can go to bed contented.

Hugs
Gabi

Far away is close at hand in images of elsewhere

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Guns kill people.

Angharad's picture

In case you hadn't guessed, I'm an anti-gun, anti-violence, soft bellied, Guardian reading, humanistic, liberal. I'm also happy in my delusions. 8)

Angharad.

Angharad

Good on yer!

Well said.

I can't understand why our transatlantic cousins have their hang-ups about guns.

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Me too ..

... on all counts.

Geoff

I'm anti-gun too...

...but having said that, I'd like to point out that I have my reservations with statistics that point out you're more likely to get hurt or killed if you're armed. As I see it, if you feel the need to be armed, you're probably around somewhere dangerous. It seems reasonable that you've a higher risk to get hurt or killed at those places, because that's the reason they are considered dangerous in the first place.

Regarding the "part one hundred and a dozen" I'd like to say I told you so. If you don't know what I'm taking about, check my comments for part 108 regarding a particular kind of fetish :)

Hugs,

Kimby

Hugs,

Kimby

When seconds count,

Police are but minutes away.

Poaching

US readers might not appreciate the subtleties of the English (not sure of of the whole UK) law on poaching and it's cultural implications, so I'll just add little to explain.

All land in the UK is privately owned though some has public access. A very great deal of apparently open country and woodland is held by aristocrats and wealthy landowners who've had it in their families for upwards of 1000 years (since 1066) and shooting/hunting is jealously guarded. This is totally separate from gun licencing issues. A game licence is needed for certain prey like hares, deer, and various birds like pheasant, grouse and partridge. I think I'm right in saying that no land in the UK is untouched by man. It's all managed in some way and all shooting and hunting rights will be privately owned.

btw in the UK 'hunting' involves dogs (hounds) and usually people in pink jackets on horses chasing foxes or deer. If you use a gun (or rifle) you're 'shooting'.

Traditionally there has been a tolerant attitude to poaching by the public in general. They are seen as the common man out to kill or trap something for the pot. I suspect, in fact, though there are lots of wily countrymen not averse to snaring a few rabbits or taking a landowners pheasants at night, there are also organised gangs of 'professionals' who are truly criminal. For a sympathetic view of poaching think Robin Hood, outlawed for killing one of the King's deer (or so legend has it)

In England (and probably the whole of the UK) there is no tradition, or ability, simply to get a licence and go out into the wilds and shoot as I suspect is the case in the USA where there are 1000s of square miles of wilderness. I've only visited (and cycled) in the East of the US but I recall the huge forests that surround the Blue Ridge Parkway for example, stretching as far as the eye can see. There's nothing like that here. Shooting only happens with the express permission of the landowner and can be free if you're killing what the owner sees as vermin (rabbits, rooks, pigeons) or very expensive indeed if you're after game.

So it's not unlikely that guys who shot Simon did it by mistake - not expecting anyone to be wandering the woods at night. In other words they did a Cheney :o)

Geoff

Hunting in the U.S.

I hesitate to go offtrack here, but a brief explanation of hunting in the U.S. may be in order.

Realistically, all the land in the U.S. is under control of some entity, public or private, and hunting on it can be and is under their control. They may not permit hunting at all, or only limited access, or whatever they want. In addition both the states and the Federal government have in place controls over what can be hunted and when. Generally, most species (other than vermin like tree rats) can only be taken during specific times of the year and the quantity to be taken is limited. In addition, some of the seasons are further broken down by the method used. Deer season, for example, is subdivided into categories such as bow hunting, black powder, handgun (yes, there are people who hunt using a handgun), etc.

No matter who owns or controls a piece of property, a hunting license for the species being sought is required. In order to get that, in most states you have to take an approved hunter safety class. Needless to say, that only reduces the armed idiot factor slightly.

Hunting without a license, out of season, or a protected species is considered a criminal act, and both the states and the federal government have special agencies whose purpose is to control hunting and fishing and catch violators. There are (likely) areas of the country where the game rangers may turn a blind eye to the odd doe ending up in some poor subsistence-level farmer's freezer, but in general that sort of activity is not tolerated and if you are caught you will be prosecuted. The penalties can be harsh, including prison time.

In addition, many conservation agencies and activities are funded by the proceeds of the sale of licenses. The duck stamps are a good example. These are the stamps that have to be bought each year and affixed to your hunting license to allow you to hunt ducks. The stamps themselves are works of art and many collectors who would never consider actually shooting a bird buy these stamps. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of these stamps funds conservation efforts such as the purchase and maintenance of wetland habitats.

Personal note: many people who do not approve of violence still support the sale and possession of firearms. As has been noted, its part of our heritage. Without private ownership of firearms we would never have gained our independence. ;) I do not approve of violence as a means to an end; however, as a former police officer I know that we do not always have the ability to avoid a violent confrontation. If and when that happens I want to have the ability to defend myself and my friends and family. To that end I do own a handgun and am currently in the process of obtaining a permit to carry it in my purse, a so-called "concealed carry permit". I do not insist that everybody do this, in fact many people should not be given such a permit. Part of the permit process is supposed to weed out those unsuitable. But I do insist that I have the right to be so certified and armed. If anybody wants to debate this with me, we should either take it to the forums or via PMs.

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way."

College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Well Stated

It probably doesn't really need stating, but at least in my part of the US, the near complete destruction in past generations of predator species like wolves, mountain lions, etc. has contributed to dangerous overpopulation of deer to name one.

Even with hunting which in my area includes no limit so long as the hunter has a tag for each animal killed, it's quite common to see multiple highway accidents daily involving deer trying to find food. There are simply so many of them that without hunting, they would all starve.

Even those like myself with absolutely no interest in hunting admit that the practice is important to maintaining balance in our ecosystem.

Never let it be said that I don't enjoy the occasional delusion of grandeur

Never let it be said that I don't enjoy the occasional delusion of grandeur

deers

Hunting isn't necessary for trimming deer herd sizes, but it is sufficient.
If the same guys who were killing them were instead tranq'ing and neutering the deer it would be just as effective.
Then maybe it wouldn't be illegal to feed them.

It just bothers me that they enjoy killing living creatures so much, and I wish the health of the species weren't dependent on them.

The other problem is that the natural predators would have culled the weak and sickly from the population, but those make lousy trophies for the hunters, so they rarely go after them.

Venison

I've never been hunting. Heck, I've never been even invited to go hunting, and I'd probably turn it down, not out of morals, but because it sounds miserable, cold, wet, long, dangerous and boring, and I'm not into "bonding" or whatever men do when they go hunting. But, I have friends who have, and friends of friends who have, and a few times I've been the lucky recipient of venison for my freezer. In a couple of cases, they simply had too much and didn't want it going to waste, in other cases, they received it from a friend only to find out that their spouse or kids wouldn't have it in the house ("they killed Bambi?!") Either way, I was grateful. Tasty stuff, nutritious, and low in fat. Luckily, the meat I've been offered has been properly handled, butchered and wrapped, and not gut-shot, gamey, or left in the sun on a hot day too long.

I'm opposed to making things suffer unnecessarily, but a deer born in the wild hasn't had a very terrible life by the time a hunter dispatches it, and as long as he or she is responsible about not wasting the meat, I think it balances out to a net positive. Because, that meat replaces meat that would otherwise come from the commercial meat industry, one that turns bovines into unwilling carnivores and cannibals by feeding them protein supplements made from cattle, and raises them in crowded, horrible, stinky feedlots, where they shuffle around in their own excrement insofar as they can move at all, and gobble tons of corn, which their digestive systems were never designed to eat. Is it any surprise that nasty strains of E. coli show up?

Oh, I'm not opposed to eating beef, either. Or pork, chicken, turkey, farmed fish, or much of anything else. I do wish the creatures I eat could be raised more humanely and in an environmentally sound way, but I'm not so committed that I would punish myself by abstaining, or paying triple the price.

I ramble. If there's a point here, it's that deer taste good, and are good for you, and everything is relative, and waste is very, very bad.

On a story note, I notice that there are two suspected poachers and two known miscreants and tormentors from Cathy's building, and that Cathy has not been allowed to hear the names of the suspects in custody yet. Just wondering if I should be putting two and two together. Hmmmm...

suffering

> I'm opposed to making things suffer unnecessarily, but a deer born in the wild hasn't had a very terrible life by the time a hunter dispatches it, ...

It's also worth noting that the creatures of the forest (or desert) don't generally die in their beds with their friends and relatives wishing them a fond farewell. More likely, it's when they get to old to outrun the various predators around them, where they are clawed and bitten and strangled until they can no longer resist being torn apart. A bullet or arrow may actually be a more humane death.

"Poaching"

> Hunting without a license, out of season, or a protected species is considered a criminal act, and both the states and the federal government have special agencies whose purpose is to control hunting and fishing and catch violators. There are (likely) areas of the country where the game rangers may turn a blind eye to the odd doe ending up in some poor subsistence-level farmer's freezer, but in general that sort of activity is not tolerated and if you are caught you will be prosecuted. The penalties can be harsh, including prison time.

In many of the U.S. states, the law allows a farmer to kill game animals on his own property, if they are "committing depredations" on his crop(s) - i.e. eating them - without license, tag or season.

Kind of late, but very well

Kind of late, but very well said.


I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

adding my .02 cents

NoraAdrienne's picture

I just wanted to comment about "hunting" as I understand it. Many of my relatives are hunters.... they shoot multiple seasons, bow, rifle, and black powder.. Any meat they don't personally pack into the freezer is donated to a food bank. As to the UK word 'hunting'... it is mostly done in our southern states with packs of hounds that started in England, Ireland and even Scotland. Here though they do not kill the foxes.. Red and Greys are run to ground, and cherished as wily adversaries. Just read any of the Rita Mae Brown books to get the flavor of it.

As to the story line. I think they were going after Cathy to "teach h/ir a lesson", but when Simon yelled and Cathy screamed they realized they had hit the wrong target. Cathy doesnt make a secret of where she does her research.

shotguns to hunt deer? Rifles

shotguns to hunt deer?
Rifles are normally used to hunt dear.
if you did use a shot gun you would not use much heavier shot and Simmons injuries would have been worse.
You need to be really close to hill a dear with shot gun.
In England deer and only hunted with rifles.

Shotguns are actually more common....

D. Eden's picture

For hunting deer than rifles. Myself, I have always preferred a rifle, but in many areas you can't use one. If the area is populous, the use of a rifle is severely restricted as the rounds carry much farther than a shotgun. However, what you need to understand is that you are not using shot, but rather a rifled slug. The slug is rifled, resulting in the slug spinning just like the rifling in the barrel spins a bullet as it passes down the barrel of the rifle. Hence the name "rifle" which actually is the shortened version of "rifled musket" which was the original name.

This results in the round traveling much more true and much improved distance and accuracy. A non-rifled barrel firing a non-rifled projectile results in the projectile tumbling. This increases air resistance, which results in a drop in velocity and the corresponding loss in distance. It also results in a loss in accuracy. Like a knuckle ball in baseball, when the projectile doesn't spin it interacts with the air in unpredictable ways and is pulled in different, unforeseen directions.

The use of a shotgun is not only mandated in many areas, but it is also considerably cheaper. Hence the popularity of shotguns over rifles for deer hunting.

I have a wonderful 10mm Enfield that I love for large game, as well as a Winchester .303 and a match quality Springfield. However, I have also used a shotgun with rifled slugs. I prefer 16 gauge, but I also have a 12 which I used.

Dallas

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Hunting with shotgun

In many areas, shot guns are used for hunting in the place of rifles if the area is more heavily populated. I know that shotguns are required for deer hunting in lower Michigan,USA due to the population.

Hospital

Darn, I'm gonna lose new friends. I've packed heat for 30yrs and nobody has shot me yet and visa-versa Bad stat, however comforting it may sound, but back from reality. Getting spoiled, another peaceful chapter for Cath
Keep them coming

Cefin