Angels and Demons part 9

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Angels and Demons part 9
By
Morpheus

It was early morning and I was lying in my bed, still unable to fall asleep. I was just too awake with my mind spinning in circles as I thought about the changes to my body and what they would mean for my unknown future. After staring at the ceiling for who knows how long, I finally sat up in bed and let out a sigh.

“How can I sleep with these things?” I asked, cupping my new breasts. The weight on my chest was a huge distraction, especially whenever I tried sleeping on my stomach.

Then I let out another sigh, relieved to consider the fact that at least all my aches and pains had finally gone away. Of course, that meant my changes were finally complete and I was now stabilized as an angel, physically identical to my three new sisters. I still had a hard time getting my mind around the idea that I was now one of them.

After sitting on the edge of my bed for several minutes, I decided that I might as well go relieve myself. I tossed on a shirt and shorts and then started down the hallway to the bathroom. But as I entered the bathroom, I was a little startled to find Dani already there, just coming out of a stall.

“Sorry,” I apologized, embarrassed at walking into the bathroom while one of the girls was using it.

Dani seemed faintly amused by that and said, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. We all use the same facilities. Hell, half the time we shower together.”

I blushed at that, remembering how she’d walked in on me during my shower a few days ago. “But isn’t that awkward?”

Dani hesitated a moment before admitting, “It was at first. I mean, the idea of showering with three hot girls kind of got to me at first.” She gave me a grin and added, “But I got over it pretty quickly. Now, I don’t even think anything about it.”

I just shook my head at that, unable to imagine actually showering with Dani, Rebecca and Nicole. It had been weird enough when it was just Dani in there with me. Then again, I reminded myself that I no longer had anything that they didn’t, nor did they have anything I didn’t.

“When you’re done here,” Dani said, “why don’t you come to my room. I’ve been wanting to talk to you away from the others.”

After Dani left, I did my business and then went to her room as she requested. I couldn’t help but being extremely curious about what she wanted to talk about since she didn’t seem to want Rebecca or Nicole there.

When I went to Dani’s room, I found that it was the same size as my own but with different furniture. Clothes were scattered about and there were even a couple bras hanging over the back of a chair. As I looked around, I couldn’t help but thinking that it looked like a bachelor lived here. In fact, other than the bras, there was a resemblance to the way my apartment looked before I’d begun dating Cindy.

Then I noticed a picture on the wall which had four angels posing. They all had natural color hair and the same haircut so I couldn’t really tell them apart, though I could guess who was who based off body language. The only angel who stood out in the picture as different was one who was wearing a pair of glasses. That caught my attention since I knew we all had great vision.

“That’s Lisa,” Dani said, pointing to the girl in the glasses. She smiled faintly and mused, “She always insisted on wearing those glasses even though she didn’t need them. Said they made her feel more like herself.”

“I can understand that,” I responded after a moment. When you’re surrounded by people who look exactly like you, you’d want to do something to stand out as in individual. I guessed that was probably the same reason that Dani had her hair cut short and bleached blonde.

Dani nodded at that and set out a pair of glasses which she proceeded to fill with fruit flavored vodka. She gave me a self-conscious look and said, “I used to drink bourbon, but after my change I kind of lost the taste for it.”

Dani sat down in a chair and gestured for me to do the same. She took a sip of her drink, watching me with a thoughtful look but not saying anything at first. I took a sip of the vodka as well and waited for her to tell me what she wanted to talk about.

“I guess I should say welcome to the family,” Dani told me with wry smile. “Though I doubt you think it’s worth celebrating.”

I nodded agreement at that, saying, “No offense.”

“None taken,” Dani responded with a chuckle. “Remember, I know where you’re coming from. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. What you did for Nicole means a lot to us, more than you realize. You see, we’re not used to anyone really helping us when we’re injured. In spite of what you’ve seen in the last week, it doesn’t actually happen often, not with our reflexes. But on the few occasions we do get hurt in the field, everyone is ordered to keep back to avoid accidental infection. We have some good friends in the unit and even they can’t help us.”

“If I’d known about the angel strain,” I admitted self-consciously. “I probably would have stayed back.”

“Maybe,” Dani responded with a faint smile and giving me an odd look. “But I kind of doubt it.”

“Of course, we do have some doctors on base who will fix us up,” Dani mused, surprising me by that after what had happened with Rebecca’s arm. “But they put us in quarantine conditions to work on us and make us feel like lab rats or something.” She shrugged at that, having a look of disgust on her face. “We usually avoid going to them if we can help it, especially since we can heal on our own.”

“So that’s why Rebecca didn’t go to the doctor,” I said. Dani nodded at that.

“Nicole feels guilty over your infection,” Dani told me, taking a drink of her vodka and adding. “And all of us want to make this easier for you. As you might have noticed, I’m not exactly the comforting and motherly type.”

“I think I’ve noticed that,” I responded wryly.

“Rebecca and Nicole will do anything to help you that they can,” Dani told me. “But there are some things they just don’t understand.” She was silent for several long seconds before saying, “They don’t know what it’s like to change so drastically…to lose such a key part of your own identity.”

I took a drink from my vodka and nodded at that, feeling depressed again. It was true, Rebecca and Nicole didn’t know what that was like. How could they? This was something that Dani and I had in common though.

“Did you know,” Dani asked quietly, no longer looking at me but staring off in the distance. “I have a daughter who should be getting her driver’s license this year. I haven’t seen her in eight years.”

I stared at Dani in surprise. “I didn’t know…”

“I only had custody of her every other weekend,” she told me quietly, looking sad. “But she’s the one thing I miss most about my old life. Rebecca’s father ran off when she was just a kid and she lost her mom during the disaster. Nicole didn’t have any close family either so neither of them knows what it’s like to have to walk away from your own family.”

“To family,” I said quietly, holding up my glass.

“To family,” Dani agreed, toasting my glass with her own. “Both the ones we had to walk away from and the new one fate gave us.”

We were both silent for about half a minute before Dani said, “I didn’t ask you here for some kind of mutual pity party or anything. I just wanted to put a few things in the open so you know what to expect.”

“What kind of things?” I asked curiously. “If this is the birds and the bees lecture, I think I know enough to get by.”

“Jarrod West is dead,” Dani stated simply, looking me right in the eyes. “He’s dead and gone. You’re someone else now…someone new. Once you accept that, you can learn who you really are now.”

“I know who I am,” I snapped in annoyance. Unfortunately, she’d hit right on my own doubts about who I was now.

“Do you?” Dani asked me with a sad smile. “I don’t think you realize how much you’ve changed yet. This isn’t just the way you look. Your hormones, brain chemistry, and even your DNA has changed. This is all going to change the way you think and feel. It’s going to affect your likes and dislikes…and your very sense of identity. Whether you want to admit it or not, you don’t just look female. You are one. The only things about you that are male are your memories.”

I glared at Dani, hating the fact that she had a point. DNA, hormones, and brain chemistry were bound to have an effect on me, whether I liked it or not. Still, I wasn’t going to accept the idea that they determined everything so argued, “I’m more than just my body.”

“I know,” Dani agreed with a chuckle. “We angels are the perfect evidence in that argument about nature versus nurture. Physically, we are all identical and have a lot of the same reactions to things, but we’re all individuals as well. Our past and experiences determine who we are just as much as our DNA.”

“But you just made a big deal about our bodies,” I said, feeling a little confused.

Dani shook her head and let out a long sigh before admitting, “I spent half a year in denial, trying to ignore my body and insisting that I was still the same person I used to be. My thoughts and feelings didn’t match what I thought I should be thinking and feeling…and it was…uncomfortable.”

“Then what happened?” I asked curiously.

Dani just gave me a wry smile and admitted, “I realized that I wasn’t Dan Framburg anymore. I didn’t have to think and feel a certain way just because that was what I did before my change.” She gestured down at herself and grinned. “I accepted that this is who I am now. Now, I’m happy with who I’ve become and wouldn’t change back even if I could.”

I stared at her for a moment, not sure what to think about these personal revelations. It did answer a few questions I had about Dani, though I still had plenty more.

“In just a few days,” Dani stated, “You’ll start feeling an almost uncontrollable urge to go shopping and get your nails done…”

“What?” I gasped in horror.

“Just making sure you were listening,” Dani told me with a smirk. “It doesn’t work like that. If it did, I wouldn’t be such a tomboy. I might be all woman now, but I don’t feel any particular desire to wear fancy dresses.” She hesitated a moment and blushed a little before admitting, “At least not most of the time.”

“Oh God,” I groaned.

“Trust me, I know this isn’t easy,” Dani told me, “But just keep in mind that your perceptions are going to change…and that there isn’t anything wrong with that. Don’t make the mistake I did and fight yourself. That will only make you frustrated and miserable.”

I nodded at that, finished my vodka and quietly said, “Thanks for the advice.”

Dani hesitated a moment, then she gave me a hug and said, “That’s what sisters are for.”

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Comments

Now this is a Dani I can like and respect

Nobody is perfect, but now that Jarrod's change is (physically) over, Dani is able to give him actual practical help and advice. Her poor behavior earlier is just a matter of being, well, not the comforting motherly type. It was pretty much how a guy would start feeling his way to helping another guy deal with an injury, just kind of insensitive to the fact that this was a lot more than just an injury. Well, except for the chili, which is apparently her beloved prize winning recipe and not an attempt to incinerate Jarrod's taste buds.

Now that we're seeing more of her, Dani is less of a jerk, more of a character with both strengths and flaws. I wouldn't let her have anything to do with anybody who got infected with the Angel virus in the future, but I can see that she's a better person than she initially seemed.

Confirms what I'd thought about Dani

I'd liked her earlier, and saw her as simply awkward in a guy way. So good characterization all around on that. The quip about wanting to get her nails done at the end shows her jokester part is still strongly in force.

Looking forward to seeing J in the field now that she can leave quarantine.

titania.jpg

Titania

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Only three comments?

Well, here's another!

Dani's somewhat cryptic words only go further toward making me feel that my assumption the change will affect Jarrod's sexuality is correct.

The changes, the new responsibilities, the isolation... even with the other three girls there, none of this is going to be fun for Jarrod, and Dani makes it obvious that while she wouldn't change back even if she could, she is at least partially aware that that is due to the mental changes rendered by the transformation, rather than any innate desire to be female.

Great story so far, and I'm looking forward to more.

Melanie E.

It appears I was

right about Dani. That was a nice point about the nurture versus nature thing, but usually its the other way around. Many people want to ignore nature preferring to think nurture rules above all.

I liked how you took into account their brains changing and how traumatic that was. What comes next is going to be very exciting!
hugs
Grover

The classic question

It seems to me Morpheus is addressing the classic question: does the body shape the personality or does the mind shape the personality? My belief is that it's a combination of the two; the body affects the mind and the mind shapes the personality. Still it'll be interesting to see where this goes!

Bravo - Morpheus, I'm really enjoying your story.

Cheers
Zapper