Images 51

Chapter 51

I’m driving with Daddy for awhile and he’s not going right home/back to the diner instead he takes us first to Tim Horton’s and I look ay him. “Daddy?”

“You need a break honey, just some time to relax.”

I look at him and he knows, he’s worried and he knows.

(Sniffle.) “I.. I guess. My plate’s piled a little high huh?”

“Yeah, come on let’s take some father daughter time.”

(Sniffle.) “’Kay…I…I could use that.”

I could really use that as it’s like dad getting that I’ve got too much going on is making me feel it all the more than usual and getting really close to crying now.

We get out of the truck and we head inside and I get a table and he goes to order for us and I let him get whatever…I mean it’s not like that but I’ve never actually had coffee out with him before so him ordering is kind of like a snap shot of him and what he knows about me.

Or something like that.

Daddy comes back with a tray and there’s several doughnuts on there and he gives me a large tea with us sharing a small pile of doughnuts that, well I sorta know what they are…but I’ve never had a honey cruller before. Actually this might sound strange but I don’t go here much other than the drive thru.

Actually the last time I was inside of one I was still Jaimes. It was after a game…wow that seems like so long ago in another plane of existence.

The crullers are good and I’m reminded of how much I like a decent cup of tea even though this isn’t a cup. I try the Boston cream another doughnut that I’ve never tried before.

Okay that’s good.

I think I can do better.

Daddy chuckles at me staring at my doughnut.

“What?”

“You’re figuring out what to do with it?”

“Yeah, how’d you guess?”

“You get this look Jen when you’re into it.”

I smile and take another bite. I like it but it’s just too sweet, the icing on the top…it’s a chocolate fudge thing. Good but it’s not what I’d do. I take a sip of the tea which oddly makes it better as a whole but I’m like that.

Actually I’m a very sweet with bitter fan.

Dark strong coffee with like pecan pie and stuff like that.

“I like this stuff Dad, cooking. I was good at football but it was like…I don’t know. It made sense to me. I did like playing because all the mess inside was gone when I was doing that. But cooking, It makes me happy and other people happy…I never thought that’d be me though.”

“Good, it was the same thing with me and pottery.”

That’s right, that’s what he did, was doing before he came up here.

“Daddy?”

“Yes honey?”

“Did I take you away from that? You life down in the states?”

“No honey not really. I liked my shop but it was part of what was left over from an old relationship.”

“Old relationship?”

He sighs and starts in on something maple selling and I try mine. God I’m going to have a sugar rush from this.

“I got out of the forces and I was burnt out. I knew that I didn’t want to re-up and getting back into law wasn’t what I wanted either so I ended up coming out here but to Vancouver and stayed there awhile then bummed around up and down the coast doing different things.”

“Like what?”

“I worked in logging and did some work on the fishing boats and even was a mushroom picker. That’s where I met Whitney.”

“Whitney?”

“She was American but she came up her to pick morels with friends and a few other things trying to earn enough to winter here and spend the winter snowboarding in Banff.”

“Snowboarding? Daddy how old was she?”

“Twenty.”

“Daddy! Jeeze, how old where you?”

He blushes. “Yeah…okay it was an older guy younger woman thing but Whitney was magnetic.”

“That’s good though right?, someone that new to get pass the bullshit?”

“Yeah okay but you know what happens to your instruments when you hit a magnetic field?”

“Oh…she made your life all screwy?”

“Yeah before I knew it three years went by and we’d moved south to be close to her family that drove her nuts and after some big freak out between her and her sister she left.”

“Left, but you moved and everything?”

“That was Whitney.”

Okay he doesn’t seem upset by the whole thing just bemused by it.

“So it was okay, her flaking out like that?”

He nods. “It was Whitney, we weren’t together, not like we were when she and I first got together I think honestly we’d settled and settled wasn’t Whitney.”

“But she left and you stayed.”

“I liked the area, I liked my shop.”

“You miss it?”

“A little, truthfully I’m enjoying practicing law now. It’s a lot more on my terms than before.”

“Before?”

“I practiced a little after I came home doing things for Amnesty International and I thought that I’d give it a shot and at the time I needed the money. It wasn’t too long before I got fed up and took off. It was mostly business law and stuff like that. It didn’t take too long before there was a bad taste in my mouth and I left.”

“Bad taste Dad?”

“There’s a lot of business law that’s the companies just looking the screw the little guy even if it’s someone running over small players with business’s in their way or with some of their employees.”

“Yeech, I couldn’t do that either dad people have a hard enough time as it is making ends meet.”

“Which is why I left but lately it’s been different.”

“Different?”

“I’ve been doing freelance work, taking cases that I want to take.”

“Like?”

“Legal aid, mostly on my own, family stuff too and…”

“And?”

“Transgendered law.”

“Daddy?”

“Look there’s you and Hunter and Angel and Kendal and stuff and I’ve been seeing a whole lot of people that need legal help one way or another honey and they often can’t afford to get any kind of legal help.”

I get up and move to where I can sit beside him and hold him tight in a big hug. He hugs me back and I snuggle in close to him.

Sigh… “I love you Daddy, you know that?”

“I know honey.”

“I’m proud to y’know.”

“Proud?”

“Proud to be your daughter, proud that my daddy’s got this great big heart, that he’s strong and brave…that you drop things and go out of your way to help people…that you signed up and went out to…to protect others. I’m so lucky daddy.”

“Jenna…” Oh he’s sniffling.

I look at him. “I mean it dad, you mean the world to me. You help me keep it together. You make me feel safe, loved.”

He hugs me really tight but he looks at me. “Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Holding it together.”

“Sorta, kinda, barely.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s stuff…being married, being so busy….then there’s everything with Ingrid too.”

“You don’t have to do it alone honey.”

“I know it’s just…” I sigh and lean on him.

“It’s a lot.”

“Yeah…”

He takes a drink of his tea. “Take tomorrow off.”

“Huh?”

“Take tomorrow off, take Taylor and Gisele and go out to the mall go and see the sights.”

“The sights?”

“When was the last time you went out to The West Eddy and actually did stuff there?”

I blink. “Never…god…I’ve lived here all the time and I’ve never done anything there.”

“Just always figured you have time?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re a mommy now, make the time.”

I blush and he hugs me tighter. “That’s another thing, I’m a parent now and I love it but god I’m scared daddy.”

“I’m late to the game too honey but I’ve learned one thing that really just seems to be it.”

“What’s that.”

He squeezes me tight. “Just love them with everything you got and everything else will fall into place.”

I lean into it and we sit there awhile. “Thanks Daddy I needed this.”

“I know kiddo.”

“I don’t know what to do about Iggy though.”

“What you’re already doing is more than enough Jenna.”

“I just…I feel like I can’t just…it’s hard to just be us, Tay and I…and stuff with her there and not feeling guilty.”

“Honey, she’s going through something horrible but you’re there…and you two have all this history even with all the bad stuff. It’s human to feel this way about things y’know. Especially about stuff like this.”

“But tomorrow…?”

“Tomorrow takes care of itself.”

“I don’t want to leave her out of this.”

“Don’t.”

“So we take her with?”

“We’re a family, you don’t have to do this alone. Angie and I will come with and stuff and we’ll run interference.”

“Is that a football joke?”

“Maybe.”

“Angie won’t mind?”

“Nope, kind of her idea in a way.”

“Oh so you’re taking credit?”

“No….but we should take a family day.”

“With Ingrid too.”

“Unless that’s a problem?”

“No…Giselle needs stuff like this and she needs to see her mom in a better way.”

“You’re a good woman honey y’know that right?”

“Daddy.”

“No it’s true.”

We hug a bit more. “Thanks dad this helps.”

“Well some shopping will help too.”

“Shopping?”

“Well if we’re doing the mall and the park then you and Angie and Hunter need swim suits.”

“I…Okay I can deal with that….when?”

“Tonight?”

“Uhm okay I’ll talk to Tay.”

“And I’ll talk to Angie.”

“Daddy…”

“Yes honey?”

“Thanks so much okay?”

“Yeah, c’mon lets go get this planned out.”

We get up and I bus our tray and we head back to the truck and y’know the sun feels a bit brighter and stronger out now. I feel better, I think I needed this a lot more than I knew that I did.

It’s nice just to have the chance to have this kind of rapport with my dad.

Dad, Daddy…god I’m lucky, so lucky I got this back, that right from the get-go he’s been in my corner with me as his little girl.

Okay, this…this was the father daughter thing as a young woman kind of thing but y’know it was just as important maybe more so really.

Daddy gets in and we head home together and I get a look from daddy as I pull out my phone and started to text Taylor.

[Hey it busy?]

[Steady, how’d it go?]

[Bombed, she’s better off without. She bailed.]

[Sucks, know what that’s like.]

[I know, I’m lucky they were stupid.]

[Aww, shucks.]

[No serious, I love you.]

[Thank you.]

[Dad wants to take a day tomorrow.]

[Take a day?]

[West Edmonton Mall, go do and see the attractions take Giselle.]

[What about Ingrid?]

[She comes with but dad and Angie will run interference.]

[Sounds good, I’m in.]

[Good, I want this.]

[Me too and some more time together too.]

[I know. We’ll get there.]

[Jen?]

[Yes?]

[Love you too.]

[I know, thank you it makes everything worth it.]

[Gotta go, rush order just came up.]

[KK.]

[Jen?]

[Yes?]

He sends me a link through the text for *Thank you for Loving Me.* By Bon Jovi and I slide down into my seat with this big goofy look on my face and hold the phone with both hands as the song plays.

It’s just something silly-sweet but it means oh so much to me.