"Your son is in God's hands now," the doctor told her as she sat by her son's bedside.

"In God's hands," seemed almost like a a cruel joke to a woman who until just a few weeks earlier had been a gentle pastor's wife of a small southern Baptist church.

Outside the door, slumped down, was the fiery pastor she had married when the two attended seminary in their younger twenties. A security guard kept him outside at her wishes, as well as countless others from Midland Baptist Church.

Now, they were "praying" as her baby clinged to life. A few short weeks ago, they labeled the child "a queer, a faggot, a monster." They were offering help and "compassion" now after kicking her husband out of the pulpit and her family out of the parsonage and onto the streets.

Their crime? They were the family members of a child who lived outside the gender box from which he was born.

Her husband blamed that child for "messing up his calling," and had sided with the church in hopes of being returned to a pulpit someday.

That child blamed himself ... or herself ... and made the decision to take his own life. The pills the 14-year-old found were effective enough. Even after the stomach pump, the child known as Samuel Phillips now laid in a coma, kept alive by a breathing machine and a few other machines and tubes.

Hannah Phillips was once a woman of faith, but now she fought anger against God, her husband and members of "the church" who were suddenly praying for her and her son after seeming to want to stone him and hurl insults at him until word spread about the drug overdose.

She tried to pray, and squeezed the hands of her daughters, Sarah and Ruth, who surrounded Samuel's bedside. Sarah was 16. Ruth was 12. Like their brother, they grew up in church, believed in Jesus. And they stood steadfastly by their "sister" when the doctor pretty told their family it would take a miracle for Samuel to pull out of it.

The young, black headed child who laid peacefully in bed seemed to be the perfect pastor's son. He know the Bible from Genesis to maps as well as any Bible college student. But deep inside the child wrestled with an identity even Hannah had told him "was sinful."

She backed up her husband, Bro. Nathan (as he was called by his small congregation) as he quoted from Deuteronomy that "a man should not wear what pertains to a woman, and a woman should not wear what pertains to a man."

Samuel did his best to fight "the temptations," and deny what he was feeling inside.

"Maybe I just don't believe I Corinthians 10:13 enough," he confessed once to his sister Sarah.

But he found himself dressing more and more in her clothes, and that of Ruth's. He was more interested in doing things that were "girl's" pursuits, although he also liked things boys did as well. He loved dance, music and art. But he was also a pretty good baseball player.

His Mom didn't see anything wrong with the ballet (boys could do that), or playing the flute. The crossdressing, she became aware of and tried to put a stop to, as did his father.

But Sarah and Ruth saw Samuel's struggles, and eventually became supportive. Samuel confided in him that it wasn't just about the clothes, that he yearned to be a girl like they were. And Hannah, too, would eventually become more supportive, even though she wrestled strongly with her convictions that would Samuel was doing "was a choice."

At first, Samuel kept his feelings only to family members. But eventually he shared his feelings to his two best friends, Megan and Shelley. They supported him and even encouraged him to join the high school band's color guard with them, which drew a little attention.

He would dress up with them at their homes. They became a little daring, and went to the mall with Samuel dressed. He was a convincing girl, his friends told him. His sisters also agreed.

One day, he ventured out on his own, going dressed to the town's library. It was there he was spotted by a church member and things began to unravel.

He was sent to therapy at the suggestion of the church board. His therapist was a "Christian" psychologist who was a firm believer that gay people could be made straight.

Samuel tried his best to open up, and to make an effort to suppress his feelings and have "more faith."

It did not work.

And because church gossip is as much a sport as college football in the South, word spread. Rumor had it, the pyschologist himself was one who let word get out that Samuel couldn't suppress the feelings, expressing his concerns in a prayer circle.

Since he could not bring his son to "repentance," Bro. Nathan was voted out as pastor of Midland Baptist Church.

He did his best to rescue his reputation by making a decision to throw his son out on the streets.

But Hannah, Sarah and Ruth stood by Samuel. Their husband and father ended up leaving himself.

But it wasn't enough. Samuel dealt with the insults of a church, community and even some at school and made the decision to take his life.

It turned out to be a wake up call for the community. Students who hardly knew the Midland High School freshman organized a candle light vigil outside his hospital window. Vigils were also held at some of the churches.

But Hannah, her daughters and Samuel's closest friends wondered just how genuine those feelings were.

Hannah couldn't help but think of the biblical Hannah as she prayed one more time to plead for her child's life.

That Hannah was childless and vowed her firstborn son would be given to the service of the Lord, and kept her vow after the birth of her son, Samuel.

This Hannah's prayer for her Samuel was quite different.

"If you let her live Lord, I will raise her to be a WOMAN of faith!," she vowed, with her daughters at her side.

"It's in God's hand's," she whispered to her daughters.