(aka Bike) Part 2030 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad
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Simon was watching the end of some French film on Sky, Julie and Sammi were with him and all three were in tears–did I mention Simon isn’t always macho? “Tell him you love him, you daft cow,” Sammi called to the television.
“I love him,” I said but they all just scowled at me. I retreated to the kitchen and made a pot of tea and poured myself a cup trying to reflect on my conversation with Norma. I really didn’t think it was my scene at all. Simon finally appeared all red eyed and sniffing. “Been peeling onions, have we?”
“Ha ha, any more in that pot?” he asked. I nodded and he got himself a cup and I poured it for him. “How was your dinner?”
“The meal was delicious, her husband made it, he’s quite a good cook.”
“Meaning?” he asked looking for some hidden agenda–I began to see why he was good on committees and why I wasn’t.
“Just that–he’s a good cook. The chat afterwards with her was less satisfactory.”
“In what way?”
“I don’t think I’m designed for all this skulduggery.”
“Why not?”
“Well, she explained what went on in the meetings, how they’d tied things up before they met and how she was frequently sidelined or asked to make the tea. Once, apparently, when the secretary was absent they asked her to take the minutes making her less a participant in the meeting. She said the minutes she wrote were rewritten by someone else because she told the truth.”
“But this goes on all the time in committees.”
“Si, this is the management board of a university.”
“So? Wait until you have a few bank board meetings under your belt before you criticise too heavily.”
“I don’t think I’m cut out for either of these, I think I’d best resign.”
“Before you do think why you’re supposed to be there.”
“Well, I’m on the bank’s board because my pa-in-law and my husband voted me on.”
“That’s how, tell me why?”
“Why you voted me on?” I felt a little confused.
“No, why you’re there.”
“I told you why, because you...”
“And I told you that was how you got there not why.” He got quite shirty with me.
“I don’t know what you mean, do I?”
“Okay, what would you do if you could at these meetings?”
“Give all the money back to the poor people from whom you extracted it.”
“Oh well the bank wouldn’t last long with you on the board would it?”
“At least I’d be able to sleep at night.”
“So why aren’t you–sleeping I mean?”
“I dunno, too much going round my head including these stupid board games.”
“Very good, yes, board games, I like it.”
It was an unconscious pun and I didn’t see it until he explained it.
“So what would you do, given a free hand?”
“Act with honesty to protect customers and shareholders alike, or in the case of the university, to protect the interests of both the university and its students.”
“Will you be able to achieve this without being on the board?”
“Not quite as powerfully.”
“So, do you still want onto the board?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Yes, you can always resign, but try it for a couple of years first.”
“What about my teaching commitment?”
“That’s unimportant...”
“To you, perhaps. To me, it’s vital.”
“Look, do you prefer to talk to the organ grinder or the monkey?”
“That’s silly.”
“No it isn’t.”
“As a board member you are entrusted with representing the groups who elected you.”
“I wasn’t aware that I was elected to the bank board.”
“You weren’t you were appointed by the meeting, so the board elected you.”
“So who do I represent then?”
“The planet. It’s up to you keep us on the environmental straight and narrow.”
“Oh.”
“And to do as I tell you.”
“Phweerrrp,” I blew him a raspberry.
He smiled, “Isn’t reverse psychology fun with adolescents?”
I was tempted to kick his shins and hard but smiled beatifically instead–it confused him.
“What about the university?” I asked.
“The same–you have power to vote against things.”
“One against eight or nine–that’ll make a difference.”
“It will if they’ve previously been unanimous. It’ll show in the minutes.”
“Not necessarily. Norma said the minutes weren’t anything like accurate.”
“So you vote against them at the next meeting.”
“Won’t they just see me as a trouble maker?”
“You won’t make any friends, but unless that was your intention, you’ll be staying honest and keeping your integrity. I suspect they’re important to you.”
“They are.”
“Good–you’re still the same innocent I married, so if my money and sexual magnetism couldn’t corrupt you, then these boards won’t.”
I nearly fell off my chair laughing. He pretended to be hurt for a moment but then he joined me in laughing. Julie and Sammi came out to wish us goodnight. Julie seemed disgusted with her dad. “How can you sit there laughing after that film?”
“Which film was it?”
“Some Frog thing with subtitles.”
“Ah, that’s why your eyes were red, straining them to read the subtitles?”
“Yep.”
“But it was sooo sad,” said Sammi almost starting to sniff again.
“Yeah, they all died,” said Julie.
“We weren’t laughing at your film, sweetheart, we were talking.”
“A likely story–you just don’t like the French, do you?”
“I have nothing against the French, even if Danny might.”
“Oh. Oh okay, we’re off to bed,” she bent over and pecked us both on the cheek. Then they went off up the stairs talking quietly except I could still hear them.
“So, what are you going to do?”
“Have you met Norma Harrington?”
“I can’t remember, I could have.”
“I’ve a good mind to invite them for dinner.”
“Fine, better check with Tom though.”
“He won’t mind he knows her, has done for years.”
“Who’s them?”
“Her and her husband.”
“Okay. Wednesday is a good night for me.”
“If I tell you something in confidence will you keep it secret?”
“Is it where Shirgar is buried?”
“He ended up in two tons of lasagne in Tesco, I told you that years ago.”
“So you did–so what’s this mighty big secret.”
“I’m going to invite Norma’s husband in his alter ego.”
“Who is he, spiderman?”
“No, nothing so bizarre.”
“Fine, invite away.” He looked at me, “He’s not a transsexual is he?”
“No.”
“Fine, invite away.”
“He’s transvestite.”
“Well it’s not like our kids aren’t used to a bit of gender swapping–yeah it’s fine with me as long as he doesn’t resemble a pantomime dame.”
“He doesn’t, he’s actually rather elegant with a good dress sense.”
“I won’t fancy him, will I?”
“You’d better not,” I glowered which caused him to snigger.
“I’ll send her an email.” I rose from the table and went to my study, checked my diary and found the address she’d given me earlier and sent a message inviting her and Prudence (tell her to wear her best dress) to dinner next Wednesday evening.
I happened to be checking some in my in box when I got a reply.
‘Prudence and I would be delighted to visit your home next Wednesday evening, she’s already jumping up and down saying she needs a new dress–bloody women!’
It made me smile.
Comments
Yes that's all I hear
From Jasmine much of the time now nothing to wear. She never cared when it was just a once a month thing but now full time Oh how she drives me crazy.
As usual, another gem of a story, Oh yes Bailey writes that. Another excellent episode
Goddess Bless you
Love Desiree
I am wondering about the
French movie on frogs? Did some chef use them to make dinner?
May Your Light Forever Shine
Very familiar territory ....!
Nothing to wear! New shoes, (ouch they pinch but hopefully they'll stretch!). Dammit, these tights are laddered and they were my favourite pair! This bra's getting tight, (or is it the hormones?) Does my bum look ...' (No; not that one at least, thank god.) Growing my hair out. (What other direction can hair grow?) Oh yes; it's all very familiar territory but I wouldn't give it up for the world.
Still lovin' it.
Bevs.
XX
A new dress?
I couldn't get another dress, no matter the occasion... See, in order to get another, you have to have one to begin with... (Skirts/blouse or slack/blouse combos, with a jacket work for the office/clients.)
I wonder how many other invitations they've received over the years. So may folks seem "afraid" to socialize with someone who's different. *sighs*
Simon makes some interesting points... Cathy should think about them!
Thanks,
Annette