I enjoyed the lamb curry I had for dinner last night, but it turned out that the "lamb" must have been long-dead mutton that had missed seeing the inside of a refrigerator. There is a saying, used contemptuously, about being savaged by a dead sheep.

Well, let me tell you that this particular sheep got its revenge in spades. Some hours after dinner, in the early hours of the morning, I propelled myself out of bed and barely made it to the bathroom, where I spent the next couple of hours unhappily throwing up in the bathtub while seated on the john. It's lucky the bathroom layout permitted this, otherwise, YECCH!

When I was exhausted, both literally and figuratively, I took some block-hole pills and cleaned my teeth and staggered back to bed. I lay there for a while, with my stomach feeling like it was being periodically squeezed in a vice and being tossed up and down in a rough sea. And then, surprisingly, I fell asleep.

I am having the strangest dream. I am cuddling a stuffed kangaroo and trying to get comfortable when the kangaroo starts talking to me.

"Well, you've really done it this time, old fella."

"What do you mean?" I saw nothing strange in talking to a kangaroo.

"I've been telling you for years to take better care of yourself."

"What are you talking about? I've never seen you before in my life."

"Oh yes you have. You just don't remember. Anyway, I can't do much for you this time. That lamb curry has finished you off, I'm afraid."

"Finished me off?" I was feeling really stupid.

"Yep.Kaput, pushing up daisies, the works."

"You mean I'm dead?"

"Doh! you finally got it. Not quite, but close to."

"Isn't there anything I can do about it?"

"Well, there is one thing I can do, but you might not like it."

"Come on, anything. I don't want to die," I whimpered.

"Anything?"

"Yes, yes, anything."

"All right, you've got it."

******************

I woke up in the morning with this pain in my tummy. I clutched Kanga to me and thought I must tell mummy about this funny dream I had. Gosh, I do hope periods aren't always this bad.