College Girl : 20

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I froze, with a piece of toast most of the way to my mouth. Oh Gods…tonight was the formal. I sighed and put down the toast and rubbed my eyes. I had the dress, shoes, everything but in the chaos of everything else I had forgotten to call Paul and I was supposed to have a date for tonight. It wasn’t mandatory but expected. What the hell was I going to do?

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 20

I froze, with a piece of toast most of the way to my mouth. Oh Gods…tonight was the formal. I sighed and put down the toast and rubbed my eyes. I had the dress, shoes, everything but in the chaos of everything else I had forgotten to call Paul and I was supposed to have a date for tonight. It wasn’t mandatory but expected. What the hell was I going to do?

I finished breakfast and went to find Meredith. She was my keeper so maybe she had an answer for me. I knew she had a meeting today about something so I was hoping to catch her right after.

She and several others were in the Chapter room. This was where all the special Sorority things happened. I had been in there already and saw it. It was a really nice room, with a flag of the letters, the Charter and a few trophies they had won in the Pan-Hellenic games. The Sorority seal was inlaid on the floor. The room was awesome.

I took a seat near the room and waited. I hoped that it wouldn’t be too long. It wasn’t. The doors opened and out walked Nadia, Sandra, Gwen and Meredith. My guess was that they were talking about either me or the other people trying to get in.

They all stopped and stared at me. That was really uncomfortable. I stammered out, “Uhm…Merri…can I talk to you for a minute?”

Meredith smiled and headed over while the others dispersed. “What is it?”

“Uhm…er…did I really need a date for tonight?”

“Well, it does look good but if you didn’t call Paul and set something up it isn’t a disaster. With the week you have had I think they can cope. Oh…and Sandra agreed to pay for a trip to the Salon for you, so you can get made up for tonight. OK?” Meredith bounced a little. “I already called my sister.”

I sighed. It looked like another trip to the Salon for me. Meredith really seemed to enjoy thrusting me into situations where I really felt alien. They were getting less scary so maybe that was the point. “Sure. When do we have to be there?”

“Oh…not till 4:30. Then we can get you gussied up just in time for the formal party. It’ll be great.”

I shrugged. “All right. I want to go see Alison and Becca for a bit. I can be back here before then.”

“Sure. Have fun.”

I headed upstairs to grab my purse. I wanted to talk with my friends and to do that and keep the secrecy about me living in the House I would need to do this somewhere else. Maybe I could get both Becca and Alison to have lunch with me?

As I headed towards the Mall, I called both of them. We were going to the Chinese place that Becca had told me about. I liked the food there. Becca and I had eaten there when I first got into town, before all this madness altered my life. Maybe it was an okay thing, this change.

When I got to the Mall I headed in to one of the department stores. I wanted some more earrings and I remembered these places having a fairly good selection. It wasn’t like I wanted anything expensive, just some nice silver hoops. I liked the look and wanted some. Both girls had agreed to meet me there so I was pretty excited. I hoped Becca would like Alison. I was fairly certain she would, but then again you never know.

I found a really nice pair and headed of to the restaurant. It wasn’t that far of a drive and I made it in no time. Becca rushed over and hugged me when I got out of the car. “Cait, what’s up?”

I smiled at her. “Not much. Wanted lunch with my best friend and to introduce you to a new friend.”

“Oh? Is he cute?” teased Becca.

“No you Fellini reject, she isn’t a he.” I started chuckling as what I just said registered. Becca joined in.

Alison arrived as the two of us were laughing. Becca looked over at her then at me and then back at Alison. “Uhm…hi. My name is Becca.”

Alison looked a bit confused. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry about her; she’s out of a day pass.” I quipped.

Alison then smiled as things fell into place. “Ah…right. Thanks for calling me. I was just stressing over tonight and I figured I really needed to take a break.”

I nodded. I knew I was a shoe in but the whole formal wear thing was disconcerting. And I was still not to comfortable in heels. Thankfully I hadn’t gotten Paul to be my date. That probably would have overloaded me and I had already had that happen too many times already.

We got inside and got seated. Alison and Rebecca seemed to be getting along well, so that was nice. I was pleased to hear that Alison had actually gotten two Houses to invite her. She was definitely stunned by that and was still trying to juggle which one she really wanted. I told her which house I had gotten and hoped that would help her make up her mind. I thought things would be easier if I had Alison there. She may not know what was really going on, but she was my friend.

The food was excellent and we all seemed to enjoy it. The Mai Fun was awesome and so was their Fried Rice. I could tell that Becca was beginning to like her, especially when Alison admitted to liking Foreign Films. That certainly helped.

I looked at my watch and realized that I was running late, again. I made my apologizes and headed straight to the salon. Alison and Becca both waved bye and returned to their conversation. I wasn’t sure if I needed to be worried about that or not.

Meredith was waiting for me when I got there. “Hey there, I was sure you were going to be late.”

“Sorry. Was busy having lunch with Becca and Alison.”

“Oh…how are they?”

“Alison is nervous and Becca seems to like Alley. They both have a thing for foreign films. Kind of disturbing really.” I shrugged, not much I could do now. I left both of them together so they could plot their welcome to friendship film-fest.

“Well, lets get you ready and we can deal with the scary people later.”

The Salon was still something scary. I mean the first time it had been a whirlwind tour. Then Spa day, where I was flying high from Merri and me getting together. Now I was here with nothing to really distract me from things.

Meredith’s sister waved as we walked in and headed off to do who knows what. We waited and I got more and more nervous the longer we sat there. What the hell was I doing? I was a guy for fucks sake. Guys didn’t get their hair and nails done, get their make up done for them in preparation for some big night. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.

That all might be true but I had committed myself to this. Hell, I had even told my mom about all of this. I could do this. And besides, like I was all that macho to begin with. No, I wasn’t a guy’s guy and I had know that since the seventh grade. I was a little runt who had survived by being smarter and more knowledgeable than the other guys. I tied them in circles with my mind and my words. Those were more girl traits than guy traits and I had known that. So, I just had to get over this gut feeling. It was just…what was the word… enculturation.

I had grown up as a guy and had all the training to be a guy. The girls of the House had done a great job of throwing me into the deep end and helping me to swim but I was still in unfamiliar waters. A lot of this stuff was so new, so different that it made me twitch. I knew that Meredith and the others didn’t want me to suffer through this but to rather enjoy this, so I tried. But growing up one way and suddenly trying to be something else was not easy.

Meredith looked a bit worried when I opened my eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Just some things running through my head. Don’t worry.”

“Caitlin, I know you like to keep things in but that is only going to make you more stressed in the long run.”

“I know, but here isn’t the best place to talk about this.”

Meredith blinked as if she was trying to figure it all out. “Is it about the whole…”

I nodded. I was relieved that she didn’t say anything.

“Okay. After we’re done here, we can talk at the House. That should be okay, yes?” I again nodded. I was so lucky to have her in my life.

“Caitlin O’Rourke?”

I looked up and there was the stylist who would be working on me. I smiled and stood up. Meredith came with me as we headed to the back. My hair was going to be trimmed to take care of any split ends and I would get a facial and have my make up done. Meredith rambled out the information about the color of the dress and everything. I could have done that if she had let me know what color the dress was, so I guess she wanted to watch my face when she said pink. I think I disappointed her when I just sighed.

The facial was nice. And while that was soaking into my face, she quickly trimmed my hair. I was getting used to this pampering. Maybe that was all part of Meredith’s nefarious plans, cause I knew she could be nefarious.

Soon enough the woman was working on my makeup, using various brushes and such that I knew I didn’t have in my makeup kit. I tried to pay attention, but it was difficult, especially after the relaxing facial. I glanced over at the clock and was surprised. It had been about an hour since I had gotten called back. I knew the facial had been nice, but I hadn’t expected it to have been that long.

But that meant it was about time to head home and get dressed for the Formal. Merri paid as I headed out to the car, shading my eyes from the sun as I walked out of the building. I had taken a look in the mirror and I looked wonderful. This was still odd. I wasn’t used to all of my flaws as a man playing into benefits as a woman. It was odd and just a bit disturbing. I really needed to spend a bit more time thinking through my plans.

Once we got back to the House I headed upstairs. I did notice that there was a lot of crepe paper hanging all over the place. It did look good but in an inexpensive sort of way. But then again, if this had to be done once a semester, then maybe it did make some sense.

I got out my gown and the heels and hose I was going to wear with it. I had been told that I was going to wear hose and a garter belt and I didn’t really have anything to say about it. The whole outfit had been picked out for me, so no real choice there. This would be the first time I got to see it, as Meredith had kept it in her room. Now it was hanging in mine.

The dress was something else. It was beautiful. It was light and this lovely pink color. The whole get up was just so feminine that it was stunning and I had to wear it. I just sat and stared at it for a while. After everything I had done it seemed like there always was some other step to take me farther and farther away from the things I was used to. And of course it had to be pink.

I sighed and looked at the clock. I needed to start getting ready so that I would be ready in time for the shindig. I got undressed and I carefully pulled on the hose. They were expensive and I didn’t want to get a run in them. I then put on the garter belt. Once I got everything attached I put on a pair of panties, because I actually wanted to have the option of going to the bathroom.

I got the strapless bra on and got my breasts settled into the cups. That still felt weird but it was becoming more and more normal. What would happen after all of this when I didn’t have any breasts? Would that feel weird as well?

I closed my eyes and sighed. I really didn’t need this. I had to finish getting ready for the party and head out. Then when it was all over I could come back here and crash. I needed a break and after tomorrows thing at noon I had a week until classes started. I needed a break. I would have to talk to Meredith and Becca. Maybe we could do something that would let me escape all this madness, if only for a little while.

I looked in the mirror. If I didn’t look at my face I could pretend it was some girl who was standing there in her underwear, but it wasn’t. I was looking at me. I sighed and grabbed the dress. It was cool as it slid over my skin. I shivered a little. The materiel felt wonderful.

I looked in the mirror again. The makeup and the dress color went beautifully together. I looked good. Really good. Perhaps too good. Was I ever going to get back to being Richard?

I grabbed my purse after I put on my heels and headed out. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could get out of the dress and pretend I really was a guy.

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Comments

Awsome

I am really enjoying this serial story and look forward to each new chapter. Keep up the excelent work.
Love, Jo

Keeping me engaged

Hi

This is not my usual fare, but keeps bringing me back. That I identify with the main character helps of course, but I think the real interest lies in your description of a male placed, by his own world view, into this situation. It is an interesting perspective.

Good story line, great characterisation (minimum words, maximum impact), and a great view from an off beat viewpoint. Many thanks, and keep it up!

Looking at the read count, I do not think us readers are doing you justice!

Love
Debbie

Thank you very much. I work

Thank you very much. I work really hard to keep the story real and engaging, not an easy mix. This story really has stretched my writing style some and I am thankful for that. I hope that more people read and enjoy my stuff.

Thank you,
Heather

We are the change that will save the world.

Heather

We are the change that will save the world.

Very nice

I loved the contemplation at the end. Very well done, it hit the nail right on in my opinion. You have me hooked here, I am very curious as to how Caitlin/Richard will solve, integrate, dispel, or desolve this ever developing gender schizophrenia. Could he be, or become, transgendered?
It looks that way, one way or the other. In that course you've painted her/his growing conflict, feelings of loss and grieve, but also some sort of acceptance and belonging maybe, very well. Ihmo.

It could well come to an interresting discussion where you could argue whether s/he already was transgendered to begin with, but just never knew it. Or becoming transgendered as a result of the continuous exposure to this -initial- crossgendered habitat, and as a result blend in.

A familiar discussion maybe? The nature versus nurture argument.

Anyhow, I like, no make that love, your story and thank you for it. Above all, it's a compelling read.

Kind regards
Jo-Anne

Thank you

Thank you for that. Yeah, the internal dialog over the whole Gender thing is likely to continue for some time. After all it has only been a bit over a month for Richard/ Caitlin. These things take some time to resolve and s/he is right at the beginning of the process.

I am glad that the story has hooked you, as I do work hard to do some of my best writing on it. Take care a keep reading.

Heather

We are the change that will save the world.

Heather

We are the change that will save the world.