Like all my girlfriends I had dreamed of my perfect wedding for years. I had envisioned every detail down to the way I wanted the rice done on platters.
There was the adult luncheon with the real antique white china. The full utensils for a 7 course meal even though my future husband and I could only afford soup salad and regular meal, fancy yes but not that expensive. I wore the cutest satin skirt suit that showed off all my curves to the best detail. It was in white of course.
In a way I felt alot like Princess Kate. It was a dream come true and it went fairly well. My parents of course were somewhat uncomfortable. Mom smiled but it was a forced smile. Daddy just looked unhappy. I cannot really blame them we had tried for the last few years to get along with the whole transgender thing.
I loved my parents with all my heart but at times it was hard to see if they really loved me. Mom was always on and on about how it made her look. Daddy was the one who tried to explain it all to mom. For the most part I just sat there and looked innocent. I did my part to explain it to mom but she treated me like I had betrayed her. Not all the time I was her daughter, but still it hurt. It really hurt.
When I found David and we started to get serious even mom noticed. The first few dinners were the hardest with David sitting there at the family table. Mom, as ever, done up as a "true" woman. Daddy of course sitting there in a plain Shirt and pants. Dressy but not over the top.
Today was my day. I am standing here in the mirror just off the church. My bridesmaids have gone ahead even my maid of honor Jane has gone ahead to her place. I am so nervous. What if he doesn't like me. What if the priest denounces our marriage because of the trans..
Stop it! I tell myself. I try to take deep breaths but the corset I am wearing for the gown is a bit tight to allow deep breaths. Years ago if you had told me I would want to wear a satin corset with a wedding dress I would have laughed so hard. Not so funny now. It just went so well with the slip and panties and lacy stockings. I just had to go with it. It also made me look super hot both in and out of the gown.
I have always been a Daddy's girl even during my little league stint. Well I played it for Daddy's sake. My heart wasn't really in it but I tried. The motorcycle thing after that was short lived. Neither daddy nor myself were ever into tools and fixing things. That was more of mom's thing. If something broke she would find someone to repair it.
But here I am in my wedding gown. Bright white, virginal white I think is the term, satin. Although it is a little old fashioned I am a virgin still. I can't wait to experience sex for the very first time. My dress lace a light but heavily embroidered lace over the satin bodice. My next is exposed down to my ample cleavage almost spilling from the top of the dresses v shaped opening. I do have a white satin ribbon choker around my neck. The shoulders of the dress are not overly puffy like some. Its really fairly small puff since the sleeves are very short. On my hands are lace gloves. Really they are all but useless as gloves but they just look so so I guess uhmm..
Innocent! Yes thats how they make me look. The overskirt and its 10 foot long train all made of satin with embroidered edges. I do hope Lil Stacy, Amber, Patricia, and Molly can handle it. Even tiny Eve and Adam the twins as my ring bearers are sooo cute. Last nights rehearsal it took a bit to get them to follow the path up the church Isle. They are only 4.
I was kinda hoping Mom would be here beside me in her Mother of the bride outfit. Similar to the one I wore the other day at the dinner. Oh well can't have everything.
Something blue as the saying goes, is the tiny stone in my engagement ring. Something old is the lace garter that was actually my grandmothers. I am still not sure why my grandmother had two matching ones but they are beautiful even if they do tickle the hell out of me as I walk.
Opening the door Daddy tells me its time. Daddy is there in his tux, rented of course he wouldn't be caught dead wearing one normally. But for me this one thing made all the difference in the world to a girl like me on her wedding day.
I move slowly from the mirror I had been starring into for the past hour and try to carefully, so as to not ruin my makeup, give the lightest kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you Daddy." I say in a low soft voice.
"Anything for my little girl. I can't believe I'm about to escort.." there is tears in his eyes threatening to overflow his lashes.
"Don't start then I will start and my face will be so ruined!" I say quickly while holding a huge lump in my throat.
It does the trick as with a small laugh he nods but doesn't open up crying. My Daddy grabs hold of my hand and lifts it up. It may be corny but it's how I always saw myself being led down the isle. I do have a veil but it does not cover my face. We had problems with that last night as I almost inhaled the stupid thing.
Mom and I did have a rather nasty argument about these heels. She would have preferred me to wear sneakers. I said 2 in heels. We settled on these 1 in instead. I guess in the long run it won't kill my feet but I plan to dance in my stockings later anyways so I don't see the big deal. Well ballerina slippers, satin ones that go with my dress but to mom it might as well be barefoot hence the sneaker comment.
The four teenage girls in there lavender satin dresses with matching lace gloves pick up my train on que. I am not sure wear the twins are and almost start to panic before Aunt Mary comes in with them both saying washroom. If Daddy was not there holding my hand and massaging it I would have freaked I know it.
The haunting classical music done on a non existence pipe organ fills the church. The bridal march is so classical and both David and I agreed on it.
I turn the corner and face the doors. This is the very last chance I have to change my mind about anything. The doors open and with relief I see David and his groomsmen at the end. I was worried he would leave me at the alter because of the trans thing. But he is the wonderful man I have come to love and is there for me. I beam my biggest smile ever.
My bridesmaids in there lavender dresses are at the end. While the dress itself is actually quite pretty, I took some pity on them, the small hideous coat and hairpieces they have to wear were a part of my evil streak. Jane, my maid of honor, is trying hard to not laugh as she knows this is payback for the time she had me as a bridesmaid in that awful orange and pink thing.
Last night the asile looked so long but before I know it we are at the alter and my Daddy hands me off to my husband to be. It is exactly how I envisioned it and I give Daddy a smile for making it my special day. He takes his place next to mom. She is crying buckets and for the first time in a long long time she leans into Daddy for support. A support he gives her freely and lovingly as he has never ever stopped loving her.
I am thankful for the prompts nicely hidden from view by everyone else but the actual wedding party as my lines are completely lost. Then again so is Davids.
"You may now kiss the bride." That wonderful saying. I am now Mrs. David Mckoy.
As the wedding party starts to break up so we can all do the picture thing Daddy and mom come over.
"Honey I can't tell you how proud I am of you." My mom says.
"I know mom Daddy wore his suit just like I had always hoped." I reply.
"Anything for my little girl. But if you don't mind these shoes are killing me and I would really like to get changed into my own dress for the reception." he says.
I give Daddy a kiss on his hairless and completely smooth cheek leaving a lip mark. He wipes it off with his fingers and looks at the color.
"Is this my new lipstick?" He asks me.
"Something new Daddy. Something new."
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