SUMMARY: Their drunken mother, Mary, has kicked the Charlie and Rachel out of the house. The twins are now forced find refuge elsewhere for the night. It will be an important few hours for Charlie as he reflects on his life by questioning the conflicts that surround him before finding out a secret his mother has been keeping from him and his sister for months.

‘’What are we going to do now?’’ Charlie yelled over the loud rush of passing cars.

‘’I don’t know!’’ cried Rachel, tears streaming down her face.

‘’Well we can’t just hang around the streets all night!’’ shouted Charlie.

Rachel didn’t say anything back. She continued to walk briskly ahead of Charlie as if she knew where she was going. Dusk was rapidly descending into night and the skyline of the distant city buildings was beginning to light up like a Christmas tree. The easy but busy flow of traffic moved along the motorways and streets as they made their way back from work. There was a slight chill in the air, despite it being very warm earlier that day.

Rachel stopped dead in her tracks and whipped out her phone. ‘’What are you doing?’’ Charlie asked.

‘’I’m calling Kayla to see if she’ll let us stay at her house tonight. Her parents usually go out on Saturdays,’’ said Rachel in a stiff tone.

‘’Oh god no, not Kayla!’’ exclaimed Charlie. ‘’Can’t we just go to Sean’s?’’

‘’Charlie I’m not staying at that disgusting boys house for the entire night!’’ snapped Rachel.

‘’Well I’m not staying in the same house as a girl who has wanted to stick her claws into me since pre-school!’’ stated Charlie.

‘’Oh don’t flatter yourself!’’ Rachel shot across as she raised her phone to her ear.

Charlie retorted and spun around placing his hands behind his head whilst grinding his teeth annoyingly. ‘’Come on, pick up!’’ muttered Rachel under her breath.

Kayla, Rachel’s good friend and ‘’study-buddy’’ has openly fancied Charlie for as long as he could remember. She is a somewhat silly and sentimental girl, though she is smart and shows a serious side every once and a while. She is usually lively and loves to be in the centre of attention but tends react in extreme ways to everyday situations, either laughing or crying hysterically. She is also easily offended and emotional which always annoyed Charlie.

‘’Hi Kayla, its Rachel here — yeah — oh - yes — I was just wondering if - ,’’

Charlie drowned out everything around him and delved into his mind. ‘’How could you do this mom?’’ he said hopelessly into the dark night.

The speeding cars that sped by them on the main road created gusts of chilled night wind which made Charlie’s teeth chatter. He wrapped his arms around himself and began to see his own warm breath turning to a mist. Images and fragments of his mother’s outburst swam about in his head. The way she looked at him, the way she shrieked and roared at him whilst pouring her painful tears of depression out of her heart. It just opened up a whole new can of bad memories which he thought he’d never have to experience after his father left. He knew that the alcohol was responsible for her fit of rage but he couldn’t tell if what she said was true of not. He hoped not anyway.

‘’A drunk mind speaks a sober heart,’’ he scoffed.

‘’ — yeah! Great! Thank you so much Kayla. We’ll be over soon!’’ said Rachel over the phone.

‘’Great,’’ Charlie mumbled under his breath, ‘’an entire night with jugosaurus.’’

Rachel walked up behind Charlie who was looking at the cars passing by. ‘’She said she’d be happy to have us for the night.’’

‘’Does she know why we decided to spontaneously turn up and crash at her place?’’ said Charlie.

Rachel hesitated and started tripping over her words. ‘’I — I told her t-that I’d explain everything as soon as we got t-there.’’

‘’So you’re going to tell us that our moms a raging lunatic?’’ said Charlie sarcastically.

‘’Don’t say that!’’ snapped Rachel, tears remerging from her already red-raw eyes. ‘’How can you be so cruel about this! She’s our mother! She needs to be helped and all you’re doing is being an asshole about it!’’

‘’Okay let me see,’’ said Charlie, looking up whilst sarcastically pretending to ponder. ‘’She got drunk instead of going to work, kicked us out onto the street, and pretty much said that we’re lousy kids. Yes, I am the cruel one. Please enlighten me in how that makes sense?’’ said Charlie, shakily trying to keep his tone calm.

‘’Why don’t you -,’’ Rachel stopped halfway through as if she felt unsure on what she going to say, ‘’ — why don’t you stop thinking about yourself for a change. Try and see that this does not concern how you feel right now. She may have kicked us out but that doesn’t mean we have to brandish her as a bad mother!’’ cried Rachel.

‘’Good God, you are deluded girl!’’ said Charlie sharply. ‘’You cannot actually believe in what you’re saying?’’

‘’There’s obviously stuff we don’t know about Mom can’t you see that?’’ said Rachel, sniffing back her tears. ‘’She’s obviously bottled this stuff up for a long time and now she’s let it loose through drink. There still must be things she hasn’t told us yet so stop being such a selfish, arrogant prick and think about other people for a change!’’

Rachel’s face was literally red hot. Her hair was frizzy, her makeup was destroyed with tears and her overall state was just pitiful. Charlie felt a little put in his place after Rachel’s outburst but he still resented his mother at that moment. He couldn’t deny it but what she said was probably right however he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. His silence let her know very well. ‘’Now I’m going to Kayla’s with or without you!’’ she added, before swinging around and marching off down the sidewalk.

Charlie stood rooted to the spot, unsure of what to do. He had never felt so lost in his entire life. He felt as if he had nothing. No hope, no dreams, no friends, no family. He looked down at the ground, listening to his heart pound against his ribs as he clenched his fists tearfully. ‘’Rachel, wait up!’’ he yelled.

After about twenty minutes of fast paced walking Charlie and Rachel arrived at Kayla’s house. Her house was situated in a luxury suburban housing estate in near the city. What made Charlie feel uneasy was the fact that it was quite near Dave’s house which was just a couple of estates away. The whole blackmail thing seemed only like a minor issue in his life right now in contrast to his current one.

Rachel knocked on the door whilst Charlie stood back behind her. Kayla swung open the door almost immediately. She looked ever so happy to see Rachel, but even more ecstatic to see Charlie. She ran to him and wrapped his arms around him tightly. ‘’Oh Charlie!’’ she gasped softly. ‘’Are you okay?’’

Charlie felt like he was being smothered in strawberry perfume and soft brunette hair. He didn’t know what to do. He hated hugs because he didn’t know how to react so he awkwardly patted her on the back. Charlie was quickly reminded of why he nicknamed her ‘’jugosaurus’’ because her very large bosom pressed into his chest like two melons! She eventually broke away. ‘’Are you okay?’’ she asked again.

‘’Yes, I’m fine,’’ muttered Charlie. ‘’Thanks for letting us stay.’’

‘’Oh I don’t mind,’’ she sighed passionately.

Kayla led them both in through the front door. She was a rather curvy girl, not chubby but quite rounded and soft. Her brunette hair was dead straight and lengthened all the way down her back. Her eyes were hazel coloured, her lips were wide and plump along with an upturned button nose in the centre of her face.

As she closed the door and pulled Rachel into an embrace Charlie couldn’t help but notice that she was rather dressed up for an extremely unfitting occasion. She was wearing a square-necked pinafore dress, shoulder strapped and decorated in a red and black plaid pattern along with matching black tights and slip on shoes with a red ribbon in her hair. Charlie didn’t want to think of himself as being some sort of a hotshot but he knew that she had dressed up for him after she found out that he was coming.

‘’What happened?’’ asked Kayla, concernedly as she broke away from Rachel.

‘’Oh it’s a long story,’’ said Rachel, forcing a smile as she attempted to look strong and un-phased by everything.

‘’You’ll have to vent everything to me honey as soon as I make you both some coco,’’ smiled Kayla before turning and walking down the hallway to the kitchen. ‘’Come on guys follow me!’’

‘’I can’t stay here tonight,’’ whispered Charlie, grabbing Rachel’s arm.

‘’Why not? Where else are you going to go?’’ said Rachel angrily through gritted teeth, her eyes darting to the hall to see if Kayla was in earshot.

‘’Anywhere but here! I can’t just sit around and watch two girls cry over their emotions! Besides what will her parents think of having a boy staying in their precious little daughter’s house at all night?’’

‘’When they hear the circumstances they will understand!’’ said Rachel, trying to break away from Charlie’s grip.

‘’Come on guys!’’ yelled Kayla from the kitchen. ‘’Don’t be shy bunnies!’’

Charlie wrinkled his nose in disgust and looked as if he was about to throw up. He hated how overtly girly Kayla acted. It seemed so fake to him. ‘’You see?’’ he exclaimed.

‘’Behave!’’ snapped Rachel, freeing her arm and pointing her finger at Charlie’s nose.

She then strutted off to the kitchen. Charlie slowly dragged himself behind her.

‘’Do you like my dress Charlie?’’ asked Kayla, doing a twirl in the middle of the kitchen.

Oh Jesus.

‘’Y-Yeah it’s quite — uh jovial,’’ stammered Charlie.

By the look on Kayla’s face she obviously didn’t know what the word meant however she still spoke in her breathy tone of voice. ‘’Awh thank you! You’re too sweet!’’

Rachel and Charlie looked at one another through the corner of their eyes. Jovial? Kayla handed them a cup of hot coco each and led them into the cosy sitting room, which was dimly lit, with a roaring fire beneath the mantle. She turned the television off and curled up on the sofa, inviting Charlie to sit next to her by patting a free spot.

‘’No thank you,’’ mumbled Charlie, in a stern tone as he opted for the single chair instead.

Rachel curled up on the couch right beside Kayla and began sipping at her coco. Her eyes were big, teary and bloodshot and her clothes were out of place and crooked which was unusual for her.

‘’So what happened to you both?’’ asked Kayla, swinging her head back and forth from Charlie to Rachel.

‘’W-Well — um — when Mom arrived home f-from work — I’m sorry — I —,’’

‘’It’s okay,’’ whispered Kayla hypnotically. ‘’It’ll be fine.’’

Charlie felt entirely out of place and incredibly awkward so he just looked down at the ground, taking the odd swig from his mug whilst trying to escape the room in his mind. He hated it when people said ‘’It’s okay’’ when clearly the person in pain is emotionally distressed. He always found it impossible to imagine things as being ‘’okay’’ when the world is so bleak. He felt that sadness was like a seemingly never-ending chasm, impossible to get out of but possible through time. But now he wasn’t so sure he’d ever get out. His life was such a mess.

He sat there until he finished his coco and by that time Kayla was stroking Rachel’s hair, repeatedly hushing softly whilst saying, ‘’It will be okay.’’. Charlie thought he was going to burst if she said that one more time. He clenched his fists so hard that his nails dug into the flesh of his palms. He was seething like a boiling pot, ready to overflow. He did not want to be there. He did not want to watch his sister cry beside Kayla. He just wanted to be alone.

He jumped to his feet placed his mug on the coffee table. Rachel, broken from her soothing relaxation looked up, alarmed and a little startled. ‘’I need to get some fresh air.’’

‘’Oh you’re not leaving are you?’’ asked Kayla disappointedly.

‘’Oh no I wouldn’t dream of leaving your kind hospitality,’’ said Charlie sarcastically.

Kayla blushed and smiled but then looked a little confused as she couldn’t tell if Charlie was being serious or not. Rachel however knew very well that if Charlie walked out the door that he would not come back for the entire night.

‘’I’ll be back in a few minutes,’’ said Charlie, forcing a crooked smile before briskly leaving the sitting room.

He went out the door as fast as he could before Rachel could catch up with him. He walked as fast yet as casually as he could down the suburban street, taking in cold breaths of air and shivering all over. He walked and he walked until he was way out of reach of anyone finding him. He strolled over the bypass bridge towards the inner city with his hands inside his pockets. His mother’s voice continued to echo at the back of his mind.

All I wanted was to have a normal family like we used to!

That’s the sentence that crushed Charlie the most, ‘’like we used to’’. It made him feel terrible and rotten inside. ‘’Oh mom, why couldn’t you just tell us?’’ he sighed to himself. He walked alongside the freeway, the rush of cars dying down the more night engulfed the day. The air was getting colder and Charlie was getting restless. He wished he had grabbed his jacket on the way out of the house. It seemed to him that the weather resonated with his own life, random and surprising.

He did not know how much more pain he could take before he crumbles entirely. He didn’t want to admit it to himself but his personality and emotions were covered in cracks, ready to shatter if he didn’t sort out his life soon. But then again why should he? He never asked for anything to happen. He figured that his life was horribly cursed ever since that fateful day when he snuck into Rachel’s room and tried on her uniform.

He had no clue where he was going. He had no idea where he was going to stay the night. And most of all he had no idea what to do with himself. He wasn’t going to get very far without money anyway. He knew he wanted to be alone but now that he had it he wished for somebody to be there with him. He cursed his motives for being so hypocritical and naíve but then he thought maybe he didn’t have anyone at all. Sean and Joseph weren’t exactly the type of friends one could confide in nor was he close enough to his other friends to do so as well. He thought he had Rachel but she was too busy with Kayla and he certainly didn’t have Julie.

He winced as Julie’s name came to mind. His heart gave a weary whine as his mind became a glob of mush. In a moment of sheer depression he couldn’t deny that he still had strong feelings for Julie in spite of what she did to him. He finally admitted that he tried to block her out of his life for so long and now that he had, well, it made him want her even more.

Charlie wondered what his mother was doing right now. She was either drinking more of feeling incredibly guilty for what she had done. He guessed she was probably still drinking because if she felt any bit of remorse for kicking her children out she would have called either of them by now. He couldn’t help but ponder on what drove her to this, what could’ve have forced her back into the horrors of alcohol after so many years of being sober. Her uninviting behaviour and refusal to share completely made him feel even worse for her. He had no idea what was going on inside her head for so long and it broke his heart to not know.

You both have grown up so fast that you’ve forgotten about me, the one who raised you both single headedly!

There just had to be more to her psychological distress than fear of aging. Charlie knew in his heart that there were things she wasn’t telling him and now that he had seen a facet of her crippling depression he was going to try and find out. But he felt scared of delving into his mother’s mentality because he was afraid of what he would find out. After she slapped him across the face, after staring into her unrecognisable eyes and after watching her wail on the floor desperately he wasn’t so sure if he knew his own mother anymore.

But no! Charlie thought. It had to be just the alcohol; why else would she suddenly freak out and have an emotional fit of anger?

He then he sombrely repeated the words, ‘’A drunk mind speaks a sober heart’’ under his breath.

He continued to walk along the sidewalk, now illuminated by street lamps. Everything now seemed to be coloured orange and black as night became fully fledged. He was no longer cold due to excessive walking and moving but the tip of his nose and fingers felt like icicles hung from them. He breathed warm air into his hands as he cupped them around his mouth, rubbing them together as he passed by a busy petrol and gas station. The bright lights of the attached supermarket and floodlights made his eyes burn and squint.

Then, to his complete and utter horror, he saw a little blue Ford Fiesta parked up beside a pump. His entire body froze as he eyes gaped wide open like a frightened rabbit. His mouth turned as dry as the desert and his lips chapped and sore. His eyes were fixed on the tall man who had his back turned as he filled up his car.

‘’Dave,’’ whispered Charlie fearfully.

He quickly got down on his hunkers and moved up against the short brick wall in front of the petrol station, peering over at the car as Dave filled it up with petrol. Then, to his great relief it turned out that it was not Dave at all, but a completely different person as the man turned his head around suspiciously. Charlie quickly jumped to his feet, gasping for breath as he had held it for the last twenty seconds or so. He turned and continued to walk.

Charlie felt like he was going insane, roaming the streets, seeing things that aren’t actually as he thought whilst feeling so sad and depressed at the same time. He didn’t know why he reacted the way he did back there. If it had been Dave then what could he have possibly done to him in front of countless witnesses? There was no way that he could admit that he was afraid of him.

Not a chance in hell.

***

Rachel was sitting on the spare mattress placed beside Kayla’s bed with her legs crossed in a meditation-like fixture. She is dressed only in a spare set of pink pyjama bottoms and a white camisole. She tied her hair back in a ponytail as Kayla jumped onto her bed, attired with her flimsy looking pink transparent nightdress.

Kayla’s room was the caricature of teenage femininity. The walls were plastered with posters of boys, guys, men, and idols from all forms of media. The walls were a light shade of pink. Her desk was stacked with a tower of books and her makeup station was scattered with dozens of products. Clothes were literally bursting out of the wardrobe and drawers. Teddy bears and plush toys stuffed into the corners. Cushions decorated with hearts, polka dots, lace trimmings, and the curtains, bed sheets, and pillows were no different. The room made Rachel’s one seem almost masculine!

The venting, crying and distress from the girls deep meaningful conversation had long passed and now they were both exhausted. As Rachel slipped in under her blankets, she knew she felt much better as she had released her emotions. However, her mom’s outburst remained on her mind, but not entirely. She was still worried about her, very worried.

‘’You don’t seem too bothered about Charlie?’’ said Kayla, lying on her bed and using her arm as a rest.

‘’Oh don’t worry,’’ said Rachel tiredly. ‘’If I know my brother, I’m sure he’s as Sean’s house as always.’’

‘’I don’t understand why he hangs out with that guy,’’ stated Kayla. ‘’I mean, he’s so icky.’’

‘’Believe me, I always wonder the same thing,’’ said Rachel, raising her brow. She exhaled deeply through her nose and looked up to Kayla. ‘’I think he wonders sometimes too.’’

‘’What do you mean?’’ Kayla asked, her face lighting up.

Rachel sighed. ‘’He doesn’t seem to like Sean or Joseph very much yet he still hangs out with them. It’s as if -,’’

‘’ — he’s got nobody else?’’ said Kayla.

Rachel looked into her friends deep sad eyes and nodded. ‘’But the thing that bothers me most is that he doesn’t seem to care either. It’s as if he would rather be alone than spend time around people who should matter.’’

‘’Do you think I’m one of those people?’’ asked Kayla, her eyes sparkling as she sat up excitedly. ‘’The one he pretends not to care about?’’

Rachel laughed at this. ‘’Kayla I don’t understand why you have always liked my brother so much!’’ she smiled.

‘’H-He’s just a sweet guy,’’ said Kayla, turning pink. ‘’He’s nice, kind and genuine.’’

‘’This is Charlie we’re talking about right?’’ Rachel joked. ‘’He isn’t exactly the big cuddly teddy bear you seem to view him as? Remember what I told you about the way he treated my mother tonight?’’

‘’Yes but I have always seen past that side,’’ said Kayla breathlessly. ‘’I have always felt like I have known the true Charlie!’’

They shared a few moments of awkward silence before Rachel spoke again. ‘’He has changed, Kayla,’’ she said stiffly. ‘’He has changed so very much recently.’’

‘’In what way?’’ asked Kayla, curiously delving in the gossip.

‘’He’s distanced himself from me and mom and I think that could have contributed to my mom’s anger with us. He spends all of his time in his room and when he’s not there he’s off somewhere else. I f-feel — I feel -,’’

‘’What is it Rachel?’’ asked Kayla softly, moving in closer.

‘’I feel as if he is hiding something from us, something big that he is either too embarrassed to tell us about or — or something worse,’’ said Rachel beginning to get emotional again.

‘’W-What do you mean by something worse?’’ said Kayla sacredly. ‘’Like he is doing drugs or something?’’

‘’I dunno,’’ whispered Rachel, shaking her head gently.

‘’Awh but everybody has got secrets, Rachel,’’ said Kayla.

‘’I know,’’ she scoffed, ‘’but he’s defensive, private and lonely. He seems to be afraid of confronting things because if he actually pays attention then things matter and when things matter that becomes a big problem for him,’’ said Rachel, raising her voice a notch.

‘’I’m sure he’ll be fine, Rachel. He is just going through a rough time. You both are,’’ said Kayla in a comforting motherly tone.

‘’No, no this has been going on for months and now it has reached wrecking point,’’ said Rachel.

‘’Are you saying that your moms drinking is because of Charlie?’’ asked Kayla, shocked.

‘’Oh no I’d never put such a blame on him,’’ said Rachel reassuringly. ‘’It’s just — it’s just because he’s my brother. I love him more than anything and we have been through a lot together. We stuck together like peas and carrots after Dad left. We helped one another, looked out for each other and all that. And there was a time recently when we were like that again but now — now I feel like he’s no longer there.’’

Kayla’s eyes were beginning to tear up. She wiped her eyes off her dress and sniffed into a tissue. ‘’I’m so sorry Rachel I had no idea - ,’’

‘’What I’m basically saying is that if there is something that Charlie needs to tell either me or Mom then he would want to say it soon or — or i-I’ll be afraid of what he will become.’’

***

Charlie was freezing and shaking all over. The air had taken a sharp form that chilled to the very bone. The hairs on his arms stood up, his teeth chattered viciously and he rubbed his sides raw for warmth. It was very dark. The moons rays were blocked by musty black clouds and the stars were nowhere to be seen. It resonated with his feelings. Everything was like a dark ceiling without a star.

He was angry, bitter, and overall manic. He was seething with a pulsing rage to hurt the ones he loved but his overall anxiety focused on Julie. Surprisingly, she had called him back after Charlie’s numerous attempts to get her attention. As they spoke over the phone, she knew by the tone of his voice that something was seriously wrong. She asked him to meet her by the river, on the fourth bench alongside the cobbled pier, overlooking the distant buildings of the city.

It was dark, very late, and freezing cold. Charlie wondered if he was in the right place at all. His mind had become a confused mesh of worry, fear, and anger but all he could concentrate on now was staying warm. ‘’Come on Julie! Hurry up!’’ he muttered, shivering all over.

Then, she was there. His eyes lit up and his mouth went dry as he stared at her standing a few feet away. She was dressed rather inappropriately for the weather. She wore the same outfit the day they spent together in the park. A Navy and white striped tank top tucked into a pair of high waisted sailor shorts with thin black tights and slip on shoes. Her rich thick auburn hair hung down over her shoulders like two beautiful maroon curtains.

She moved forward and sat down beside Charlie, not taking her eyes off his. They did not speak nor did they utter a single word. They just communicated through the emotion shown on their faces. She looked sad, yet, strangely happy to see him. Charlie felt equally the same. Her sudden presence radiated his entire body and soul. She seemed to emit a warm glow that made everything seem okay. She stood out brightly in a dark cold night as her scent and appearance spoke of summer breeze.

‘’What happened?’’ she asked, gently touching Charlie’s knee. ‘’What’s wrong?’’

He looked at her hand feeling the same emotions of uncertainty as he once had before. He wanted to touch it, hold it, and grasp it in his own so he did. He then looked into her eyes. They were so beautiful, bright, shiny, yet watery with tears of care and concern. ‘’Everything,’’ said Charlie simply.

‘’Oh Charlie,’’ sighed Julie. ‘’I am so sorry!’’

‘’It’s okay.’’

They stared at one another, sharing a silence not awkward but beautifully poignant. Charlie found himself lost in lush green forests of her eyes. Her thick lashes and light liner really brought out her vibrant, expressive, yet sad eyes.

‘’Your eyes are so beautiful,’’ he said, hypnotically moving in closer.

She did not look away. It seemed to be that it was just them in the world, no one else.

‘’Thanks Charlie,’’ she said softly, her eyelids readying to close.

They were so close now that Charlie could count the lashes around Julie’s eyes. They hesitated for a moment but their lips pressed against one another’s like two soft cushions. He found himself lost in her warm radiance. He did not expect it to be so mesmerising, loving, and nice. It was like strawberries on a hot summer’s day.

As soon as Charlie woke up, he had completely forgotten the whole dream. He lay across the hard wooden bench in an awkward uncomfortable position, staring into space with his hands resting behind his head for support. As the dream faded away into nothingness, he wondered if it actually happened. He peered over his knees to see that Julie was not there nor was she ever. His groaned painfully entire body ached from lack of rest and sores. His face was coloured sickly pale and his eyes were wide and glassy. His hair was a complete mess, sticking out in all directions. His skin felt dry and filthy.

He rolled over onto the cobbled stone ground, the sounds of morning filling his ears. Seagulls, water lapping, and the distant drone of the industrial machinery on the docks echoed across the river. Dawn had arrived as the sky was tinted in a sickly grey with dull light covering the city. It was as if the world was getting brighter but there was no sun because it was smothered by dark clouds.

Charlie picked himself up to his two feet, stretched, and cracked his neck. He was grateful for surviving the entire night on the streets, as it got rather scary at some stages. He patted his pockets to see if everything was there. Miraculously, nobody had stolen his phone or clothes whilst he slept.

He limped to the concrete wall by the river and leant up against it, taking in deep breathes of fresh air by the second. He then took out his phone to see that it was 05:38.a.m. He also had numerous missed calls from his mother and Rachel. He scoffed to himself. ‘’Maybe they do actually care,’’ he mumbled.

He knew it was time to go home at last but he was not going to tell his mother. He wanted her to feel the guilt of what she had done for a little while longer. He wanted her to feel bad. He was definitely not thinking straight.

As he began his long walk home, he began to reflect on the last few eventful days. It felt like a lifetime ago since he was running around the tennis court in the uniform, playfully jumping, feeling the flimsiness of the pleated skirt. It was only three days ago. It seemed impossibly far away. He felt as if that day could possibly be the last one when he was truly happy. So much had happened since then, from Dave blackmailing him to the neglect of Julie and the sudden outburst from his mother.

‘’God,’’ he sighed as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. ‘’Everybody’s crazy!’’

He felt that he was getting used to being surprised by people now. He had no idea how some could hide their demons so well, letting them swell up and unleashing them in horribly hurtful ways. He did not know how much longer he could handle it.

***

Charlie arrived home at around seven o’clock that morning. The second he opened the door, his mother, who literally jumped on him and took him in for a tight embrace smothered him with her arms. ‘’I am so sorry Charlie,’’ she cried. ‘’I — I’m sorry.’’

He did not know what to do. He just stood there idly, not knowing if he should hug back. It was a few moments before his mother broke off but her hands remained on his shoulders as she searched his face for any signs of forgiveness or anything at all really. His face was stiff and expressionless.

‘’Where’s Rachel?’’ he asked moodily.

‘’S-She’s upstairs in bed,’’ said Mary, now knowing of her sons anger.

‘’So she’s forgiven you then?’’ said Charlie as he brushed by her towards the kitchen.

‘’I — I don’t think she — she knows now the circumstances of what happened last night,’’ stuttered Mary.

Charlie went to the kitchen not because he wanted food but because he could not stand to look at his own mother. She looked terrible, hung-over, in pain, and overall pitiful. ‘’And what are the circumstances?’’ asked Charlie with a right lipped poker face.

Mary stood by the kitchen doorway, looking fragile and broken. She was still wearing her work uniform from the previous day and her makeup had morphed her face into some twisted abstract painting. Her hair was frazzled and curly and her eyes were red raw and puffy. She tripped over her words as If she could not bring herself to tell her son something important he should know.

‘’You should sit,’’ she said coldly.

Something snapped in Charlie as he said this and a nerve bulged in the side of his neck. A cold wave of terror spilled over him as he walked to the table chairs and sat. He knew was about to be told something serious, something that would ruin him entirely. Mary sat down close to him and did not speak for a moment.

‘’What is it?’’ Charlie asked.

‘’Charlie — I — I want you to understand that it has always been very hard for us -,’’

‘’ — Mom I understand completely but that doesn’t explain why you had to -,’’

Mary immediately interjected. ‘’ — please, Charlie, just hear me out for a second.’’ She sighed and recomposed herself. ‘’You have been a child of one parent for a long time and you have been strong and understanding. I know that last night shocked and confused you and I may never forgive myself for how I treated you.’’

She stopped for a moment. Her kind, motherly tone of voice made Charlie feel like a child again. ‘’What is it you have to tell me?’’ he asked anxiously. ‘’I need to know now.’’

Mary exhaled deeply as her lower lip began to tremble tearfully. ‘’W-We have to move out.’’

‘’What?’’ said Charlie, not believing his ears.

‘’T-The bank, they’re taking the house in three months if we — I don’t pay the mortgage,’’ said Mary, silent tears trickling from the corner of her eyes. ‘’I can’t afford it anymore. We’re going to have to move after the summer.’’

Everything suddenly felt too unreal, like a dream that Charlie could not escape. He could not believe his ears but his mind told him it was true. Despite how devastating the news should be, Charlie felt a strange tinge of happiness. This ‘’move’’ could be highly beneficial for his miserable life.