"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement. I think, at that moment, Bobbie realized that this was more than just a job related thing for me. I was a bit unsure about how I should answer her so I just said, "Let's go do this and, after it's over, you and I can talk. Okay?"
Author's Note:I hesitated writing this story since it was preceded by another one about store detectives within the last month or so. While that one was fictional and a very fine tale, my story is true. It happened to me, just the way I have presented it here. I have taken a FEW small liberties with the story but, 99% of what is written here is the actual account of a time in my life. Of course the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent!LOL. If you are under 18, it shouldn't matter because there is no sexual content here whatsoever! LOLOL If you are offended by stories involving a male, cross dressing as a female, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE ANYWAY??
Several years ago, I was employed at a Chain Department Store as a floorwalker (Store Detective). In the course of my duties, it was imperative that all the employees of the store be constantly alert and aware of what was going on in the store so they could alert me if they spotted someone they thought looked suspicious.
I became aware that the number of calls I was receiving from employees was decreasing and I thought it was because they were not paying enough attention to people in the store so I came up with a wild idea. I figured I'd come into the store in disguise one day, without warning any of the employees about it and see just how much _I_ could shoplift without anyone noticing me. I knew it would have to be a GREAT disguise since I was well known to everyone who worked there.
I considered and rejected several ideas before I hit on one that really appealed to me. Since I had been a cross-dresser for almost all my life, I thought this would be a great opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, as it were. If I could, somehow, figure out a way to come up with funds to finance a trip to a beauty salon, I could have them do a convincing job on my face so that I wouldn't be recognized! I knew it wouldn't be easy or cheap to disguise my male face so that it not only looked female but would be unrecognizable to all the people at the store.
I set my plan in motion the very next day by asking for a meeting with the Store Manager and one other Store Detective, my friend, Barb. I told Barb what I had in mind and she thought it just might work if I could find a way to come up with the funds that would be required. We met with the Manager and outlined the plan for him. He agreed that the employees weren't paying enough attention but was uncertain about whether I could pull this off. I had to be very careful since I REALLY wanted to do this. I mean how many of us C/Ds have dreamed of getting a makeover in a REAL salon? Plus, this would be a real coup for me if I could manage to pull this off without anyone recognizing me and would look very good in my records!
Anyway, I outlined the whole plan to, let's call him Jim, the Store Manager, and we came up with a way to do it. He would authorize an amount of money to me for the purpose of purchasing clothing, suitable for the plan, from the store, plus he would foot the bill for the makeover at a local salon. The deal was, if I managed to pull this off, I could not only keep everything I bought, but I would also get a big bonus in my next paycheck! If I failed, though, I had to repay every cent! Fair enough, I thought. If I get to plan this right, it'll be the bonus I'll be getting, AND some nice additions to my small wardrobe of female clothing!
I was walking on air when I left his office that day and I wasted no time in beginning to pick out an outfit to wear, you can bet on that! Barb helped me pick out some suitable things and before too long, we had the outer clothing all set: a sea green business-type suit, with a skirt and a beautiful ivory blouse with lots of lace. Barb kind of looked at me funny when I suggested some more, umm intimate wear for under the outfit but she did help me there as well and before long, I had matching panties and a bra, along with a slip to wear under the skirt and a very good girdle to help keep things in check as well as hose and some really nice high heeled half boots.
The plan was scheduled to take place on the next Saturday, a day off for me, and went as follows: I would enter the store, in my disguise. I would employ all the techniques for shoplifting that I had learned so I could spot shoplifters. Nothing would actually be taken from the store, however. Periodically I would go to the back of the store and, when no one was around, I would have to dump everything I had "stolen" into a large box. Jim would be in the area and would take the box to his office for inventory and pricing.
We figured I would need to spend at least two hours in the store so we arranged for four drops, one each half hour or so. That way I wouldn't have to carry around an oversized purse stuffed with stolen articles for very long. I had chosen, by the way, a VERY large woman's carry-all/purse to conceal all the things I figured I would be "stealing". Since I had been at the store as a floorwalker for almost two years, I knew the location of every 'high ticket' item in the store and just where to go to conceal them in my purse. I knew where all the security mirrors were and how to avoid them and I had the co-operation of the Store manager and Barb, who would be working on the Saturday I would be doing this. If anyone DID notice me or spot me doing anything suspicious, Barb would be the one they would notify and she already knew about the whole plan! It was perfect!
I used the rest of the week to make a mental list of the things I would attempt to 'steal' and, bright and early on that fateful Saturday morning, I was at the salon. They had been contacted by Jim and had been filled in on the whole plan. I had also visited the salon on the preceding Friday just before closing so they could select just the right makeup and things they would need to turn me into a convincing woman. I had found a great wig at a yard sale and, after a careful and thorough cleaning, I had left it with the people at the salon for styling.
I entered the Salon at about 9 AM and they whisked me into a chair immediately. I was the first appointment of the day and both they and I wanted to have the initial stages completed before any other customers came in. By 9:30 enough work had been done on my face that I looked at least, neutral. That is, I didn't look male anymore but I wasn't all the way to female yet either.
I can't even begin to recall all the things that were done to me, that morning or the colors and types of cosmetics they used but, by 10:00 that morning, I didn't recognize the person I saw in the mirror. My own hair was pretty short, though, and anyone who had looked close at all would have been able to tell that I was really male.
Nobody did, though and by the time they were done with my face, the wig was ready as well. They fitted the wig on my head and pinned it in place with what seemed to be about a hundred bobby pins. They also used some theatrical adhesive around the edges of it so it wouldn't slip and would look more natural. It was gorgeous! A medium brown color, longer than shoulder length and they had styled it so that there were waves and curls EVERYWHERE!
After they fitted the wig on me, I just couldn't help turning my head from side to side, just to feel that long, soft hair tickling my face and neck! When they were done with the wig and the makeup, I got out of the chair and went into the back room to change into the clothes I would be wearing. I had brought them in the night before so they could see them and work out the best colors to use for my makeup. I had also raided the jewelry counter at the store and had come up with matching earrings,(clip-type since I didn't think I could get away with piercing my ears at the store's expense) bracelets, and necklaces. I had also found a woman's style watch which matched the rest of the jewelry and several rings.
Well, I managed to get dressed, with Barb's help. She had come by the salon to see how things were going. In truth, I think she just wanted to see if I was going to look good, or like a bad joke! She was amazed by the transformation and kept saying, "I can't believe it! If I didn't know it was you, I would NEVER have recognized you!" Listening to her comments, I began to feel more and more confident that this was going to work!
Now, those of you who have read some of my other stories, know that this was not the first time I had done this. That is to say, this was not the first time I had been made over in a salon, but this WAS the first time I would be seen by all my friends AND co-workers and the idea here was to remain unrecognized by ANY of them! I knew that this wouldn't be easy to pull off but I was going to give it my absolute BEST shot.
When I was finally dressed, and almost ready to go, Barb pointed out that my nails weren't very female looking. I mentioned this to the women at the salon and they said that they could do a quick nail job on me but they wouldn't last more than a day or so. I told them that would be perfect since I didn't want to remain dressed like this any longer than I had to! Well, I HAD to tell them that! If I had given them the slightest indication that I was enjoying all this, it would have put me in danger of being unmasked as a cross dresser and, at that point in my life, I wasn't ready to "come out".
Anyway, they sat me back down and glued on some fake nails and painted them in a color to match the lipstick I was wearing. When they were done, I felt, well, I felt beautiful! There's no other way to put it and if you who are reading this are not a C/D, there's no way for me to explain to you the thrill that went through me when I saw myself in a full length mirror as I was ready to leave. From head to toe, and from the skin out, I was a woman! There was NOTHING of my male self in that mirror and I was in heaven!
By that time, Barb had left the salon and another female friend of mine, let's call her Bobbie, entered. She stood in the doorway for a few minutes looking around and, when she didn't seem to recognize me, I called out to her, but in a soft slightly higher than usual voice. She looked at me and, for a minute there was no hint of recognition in her eyes. Then she took a looooong close look at me and her eyes got REALLY wide and she exclaimed,
"OH MY GOD!!! IS THAT YOU.......?" She almost blurted out my male name and I held up a hand to shush het before she did. Fortunately, Bobbie is VERY quick on the uptake and she managed to turn the K sound that begins my name into a C...Cathy! She crossed the space between us and looked at me VERY intently and then said pretty much the same thing that Barb had said, earlier. Now, I had recruited Bobbie earlier on in this little scheme of mine, feeling that if a REAL woman was with me in the store, I would be less likely to be spotted by employees. She was to meet me at the salon and accompany me to, and through, the store while I did my "shoplifting" thing. She had been more than dubious about the success of my plan but had agreed to go along with me IF and only if, I looked presentable.
I did a slow pirouette for Bobbie so she could get the full impact of how I looked and then asked her,
"Well? Do I pass muster?"
She looked me up and down and from side to side and, shaking her head, she replied,
"I just don't believe it! If you hadn't spoken when I came in, I would have turned around and left! I thought I had the wrong salon." Then, with a grin slowly beginning to light up her face, she said, "This is gonna be FUN!!! Believe me, um, Cathy, YOU are gonna fool them ALL! They'll NEVER recognize you in that get-up." All the workers in the salon actually applauded me as I was leaving and complimented me on how good I looked. One older woman who had come in after the makeover and wig were done, even said, "She's lovely! I wish you could make ME look that good!"
If I hadn't been fully dressed at that point, I would have kissed that woman square on the mouth for that comment. She made my whole day with just that little remark by calling me "she"! I mean, I know that I wasn't beautiful. There is no amount of makeup that could make me look more than passable but, at that moment, I FELT beautiful and that was what mattered to me right then.
Bobbie was dressed pretty much the same way as I was. A business type suit in charcoal grey and medium heeled half boots. As we left the salon and I heard our heels clicking on the sidewalk outside, I felt, well, liberated is the best word, I guess. I knew that, to the world, thanks to the magic worked by the girls in the salon, I looked like a woman. The sound of those heels was like an affirmation of that fact.
Every step seemed to say, 'Look at me. I am WOMAN! ' Bobbie seemed to sense what I was feeling because she looked sideways at me and grinned. I could feel a breeze blowing softly under my skirt and tickling my hose clad legs, and the few looks we DID get from passersby seemed to be approving ones. To all the world, at that moment, we both appeared to be successful, well dressed women, fresh from the salon.
We got into Bobbie's car and she drove to the store which was about a mile from the salon. She parked in the lot and we sat there for a few minutes. I was shaking pretty badly from nervousness and she was giggling at me for being nervous. I lit a cigarette, a long, Benson and Hedges menthol with a white filter that I had purchased just for this impersonation. As I smoked, I could feel myself relaxing and when I saw the lipstick marks on that white filter, I smiled.
Bobbie looked at me, enjoying that cigarette and said in a bemused sounding voice,
"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement. I think, at that moment, Bobbie realized that this was more than just a job related thing for me. I was a bit unsure about how I should answer her so I just said, "Let's go do this and, after it's over, you and I can talk. Okay?"
She nodded agreement and I put out my cigarette, checked in the mirror and refreshed my lipstick and we got out of the car. I tried my very best to maintain a ladylike composure as we crossed the lot headed for the front door of the store. I remembered everything I had ever learned about walking like a woman and how and where to hold my arms and hands and, as we reached the door, Bobbie leaned close to me and said,
"Relax. You look so natural that no one is going to think you are anything but what you appear to be."
I nodded my acceptance of her statement but I didn't try to speak, knowing that my voice would be a giveaway to anyone who heard it. I have never been able to master (or should that be, mistress?) a convincing feminine voice. We entered the store, grabbed a couple of shopping carts and went to work.
Inside of 10 minutes, I was shopping like a veteran! I am the type, usually, who knows what he wants, knows where it is in the store, goes in, grabs it, pays for it and leaves. I never take more than 15 minutes in even the busiest stores. Since this was a "secret mission' kind of a shopping trip, though, I slowed down and took my time. We had agreed, along with the store manager, that this would an hour to an hour and a half mission.
If Bobbie and I managed to get more stuff secreted in our purses then they would comfortably hold, we were to go to a back aisle and he would come out of the back room and relieve us of the "stolen" merchandise. Well, folks, let me tell you. Bobbie and I made 6 trips to that back aisle and each trip we had more things than the preceding one.
By the time the time limit had been reached, Bobbie and I were more worn out from the trips to the back aisle than we were from our "shopping". I was also pretty much a nervous wreck, even though I hadn't noticed anyone that seemed to recognize me. The constant feeling of always being "on stage" had worn me to a frazzle and I told Bobbie and Jim, the store manager that it was time for us to go.
As Bobbie and I left the store and the fresh outside air hit me in the face, and other areas, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then I reached in my purse and rummaged around, coming up with my cigarettes and lighter. I took out one of those long white menthols and lit it, taking a huge, mind clearing, nerve relaxing mouthful of fragrant smoke, deep into my lungs. Yeah, yeah, I know! Smoking is dangerous and hazardous to your health! Well, I NEEDED that smoke right then! If you've never smoked, you can't imagine what it felt like and if you DO smoke, well then you know what I am talking about.
I could feel the tension beginning to drain from my muscles and ligaments and nerves and, with every drag on that cigarette, I felt much more relaxed. By the time we got to Bobbie's car, I was almost feeling good again! Bobbie joined me in having yet another cigarette when we got into the car and we just sat there, relaxing in an almost afterglow.
After a few silent minutes went by, she started to giggle. Before long I was joining her and, in a matter of seconds we were laughing like a couple of fools inside that car! When one of us would start to calm down a little bit, the other one would start again and set both of us off in another fit of laughter.
All told, it took 15 minutes for us to calm down enough to say anything close to intelligible. We had to be careful, though because we were at that point where EVERYTHING struck us as funny! Finally Bobbie turned to me and said,
"Okay, CATHY. I think it's time for us to talk, don't you agree? I mean this whole thing was a BLAST and I can't remember when I have enjoyed a trip to this store, more, but what is all this," and she indicated my clothing and makeup, "about?"
"Okay, Bobbie." I replied. I did promise you an explanation but I think we'd better leave this parking lot and go somewhere a little less public. What I have to tell you may come as a bit of a shock." She tilted her head sideways a bit and gave me an inquisitive look but didn't say anything more. She just started the car, pulled out of the parking space and began to drive. I directed her to a quiet area of our town but she shook her head and said, "nope. I don't know about you, but _I_ am starved! I gotta eat something. Now you have a choice. You can sit in the car and get stared at by everyone who passes by or you can come in with me, have some lunch, and explain what you want, or need to explain, but _I_ am gonna eat!"
At that point, we had reached a fairly popular restaurant and she pulled into the lot and parked the car. I looked at her, a bit concerned, but at the same time, wondering if I could take this masquerade a step further. Bobbie didn't even look at me. She just got out of the car and started towards the restaurant. I made my decision quickly and hurried out of the car and caught up with her.
"Bobbie," I said, with more than a little concern in my voice, "if I get caught, or if anything happens and someone sees through my 'disguise,' we are both in the shit, you know that, right? I'll be damned if I am gonna let you just walk away from a situation so, know that if anything does happen, I am gonna claim that I lost a bet to you and this was my payment. Okay?"
Now, I had known Bobbie for many years, previous to that time and I knew she could be trusted. She was my best friend's wife and a VERY cool head so, while I felt somewhat stressed about continuing my masquerade in a restaurant setting, I knew that, if something DID go wrong, Bobbie would cover for me. She agreed to my plan and we entered the restaurant.
I told her, before we entered that she would have to do all the talking when we ordered and she agreed with me. So when we finally found a place to sit, a booth in the slightly darker back corner of the place, and the waitress came over to the booth, Bobbie did just that. She ordered for both of us and told the waitress that I had a sore throat and couldn't speak above a whisper. The waitress gave me a sympathetic look and said, "Don't worry, hon. I'll bring you some nice cool iced tea to soothe your throat, okay?"
I smiled my thanks and she left. Then, I began my explanation to Bobbie. I began by telling her about the perceived differences between TG/TV/CD/etc. She nodded at several points and seemed to be following what I was saying quite easily. I then began telling her about my earliest experiences with female clothing and getting caught, "dressed" by my mother. I continued with my forced visits to a psychologist and testosterone injections which were the standard "cure" at the time of my getting caught. Now, before you think my parents were monsters or something, I gotta tell you, they weren't When this happened, I was about 12 or 13. I had been experimenting for a couple of years and I really can't say what triggered my interest, initially. Anyway, the time frame I am talking about relates to about the late 50s, maybe 1958 or '59.
Attitudes towards my type of behavior were a LOT different from what they are today. Behavior like mine wasn't very well known and it was a FORBIDDEN subject. No one talked about it and, when it DID happen, it was hushed up faster than a CIA hit list. My parents loved me and they still do. They did what they thought was best for me and them and I don't blame them one bit. I wish it had been handled differently but, it wasn't. End of story.
Anyway, Bobbie sat silently, listening to my tale. I only stopped talking when the waitress brought our order to the table and, when she left, I continued. Bobbie continued listening, saying nothing but nodding her head at different points during my soliloquy. When I finished, our food had been eaten and we were finishing our beverages and having a cigarette. I looked at her and she seemed to be studying me, rather intently. I finally said,
"Well, say SOMETHING, Bobbie! I mean, I know you aren't going to laugh at me but just sitting there, staring at me, you're making me more nervous than I have been all day!"
Finally, Bobbie, without saying a word, stood up and motioned to me to follow her. I did and when I saw where she was leading me, I almost panicked! She was headed for the ladies room! I balked and whispered,
"NO WAY, Bobbie! I CAN'T go in there!" I was getting a little bit angry at her now. "I don't know what you are up to, but I have had all I can take! I have reached my limit for this day and I am going to the car. If you wanna go in there, go right ahead! I don't have to go and I WON'T enter that place! If I got caught in there, we could BOTH be arrested!"
I turned on my heel and began to storm off to the parking lot but Bobbie caught my elbow and, in a loud whisper said, okay, okay. I just wanted to see how far you were willing to go with this and how serious you are about this woman stuff. Here are the keys for the car. Pay the bill on your way out and wait for me in the car, okay? I DO have to go!"
She gave me a reassuring smile and entered the ladies room. I gathered what was left of my wits and sanity and went up to the cash register. I paid the bill and whispered when I was asked how our lunch was. I unlocked the car door and got in, remembering to smooth my skirt under me and to sit down first, THEN swing my legs in. I closed the door, rolled down the window and lit another cigarette.
I was somewhat puzzled by Bobbie's actions but I knew that she would explain when she got out to the car so I just sat there, thinking and smoking. By the time Bobbie came out of the restaurant, I was almost finished with my cigarette and, as I put it out in the car's ashtray, she climbed into the car. She just sat there for a minute and then she turned to me and said,
"Okay, CATHY, your secret is safe with me. I have actually done some reading on this subject and I DO know the differences between TG/TV/CD/etc. I just wanted to see if you were as sure of where YOU fit into all of that as you seem to be. You seem at home and more or less relaxed, dressed the way you are and your mannerisms, while not perfect, are adequate. So, you must have done this more than once."
I sat there, still unsure of what to think, and Bobbie continued, saying,
"Today was an eye opener for me, as I'm sure it was for you. It WAS a lot of fun and I appreciate you trusting me with all you have told me about yourself. I DO have to think more about this, though so how about I drop you off at your house and I can go home and cogitate."
"Okay, Bobbie." I replied. "I think _I_ need some time to myself as well. Listen, thanks a lot for doing this with me and for proving what I have always known about you. That you're a good friend and someone I can trust. You don't know how much it means to have been able to tell someone all about this "hobby" of mine."
She didn't say anything more until we were parked in the driveway of the house I shared with Barb, the other floorwalker. Then, Bobbie turned to me and took my hand, saying, yes, Cathy, I think I DO understand. A friend of mine, when I lived in New York City, had the same thing going on only he didn't have anyone to talk to about it and it finally drove him to try to do away with himself! I was called to the hospital and ended up talking to him most of that first night and for a lot of nights after that. He needed a friend, someone he could talk to about this, but he didn't think I could handle it. I wish he HAD known that I could handle it, but after that terrible night we talked a LOT, and when I moved away he was on his way to a happier life, with a woman I introduced him to, one who appreciated his 'differences'."
"I will be your friend through this and I won't tell George." George was her husband and my best friend. "That'll be up to you to do but I can tell you that I know how close the two of you are. You are more like brothers than best friends and I know that he will understand about this. You think about it and you can tell George about it in your own good time. The only other thing I WILL say is this. You and George have never had an argument in your whole lives. He trusts you and I know you trust him. Think about it and, in your own time, tell him."
"Okay, Bobbie." I replied, I'll do just that. But for now, I gotta get inside before any of the neighbors see me. Today has been stressful enough without my having to explain to them about this. Thanks for all the help and, Thanks, Bobbie for the ear. I know I talked it off but I really appreciate it. I'll call you and George soon, okay?"
"Okay, Cathy." She responded. I'll be talking to you soon then, right?"
"Right Bobbie. Take care."
She started the car and drove off, waving to me. I waved back and then realized that, with the car gone, I was in full view of whichever neighbor might be looking toward the house right now. I sprinted for the back door of the house and was halfway there when I realized, 'OH CRAP!!! I don't have my wallet! OR MY KEYS!!!!!' I had left them in the salon along with my male clothes! For a few seconds there I panicked. I ran through several scenarios in my mind, none of which were very appetizing and some of which involved getting the cooperation of one of my neighbors. That would have been VERY embarrassing and would have taken a LOT of talking. Talking I just didn't feel like having to do right now, if EVER.
I knew that Barb would be home after her shift at the store but that wouldn't be for another three hours. That wouldn't work either. Finally I remembered that, SOMETIMES, the basement door didn't lock properly. Muttering prayers and imprecations simultaneously I made my way to the basement door. I jiggled the latch but it didn't open. DAMN! I gave it a good shoulder block. It STILL didn't open! Finally, I drew back my leg and gave it the hardest kick I could, wearing those heels. It hurt but THE DOOR OPENED!!!
Thanking my lucky stars, I scurried through the door and closed it behind me, making sure it latched and locked properly this time. I paused, once safely inside and tried to get my breathing under some kind of control. Once I had accomplished that, I went up the stairs and entered the house proper. I was still shaky after what I considered an almost fatal close call and I grabbed my cigarettes and lighter and smoked a couple, one after another.
When I had calmed down enough that my hands stopped shaking, I went to the bathroom and began to climb out of all my feminine finery. I hung the clothes carefully on hangers and put the lingerie in the hamper. Then I began to draw a hot bath, planning to use it to simultaneously clean off the makeup and perfume scent, and to try to loosen my nerve tightened muscles. While the tub was filling, I wrapped a towel around my middle and hung the clothes in my closet.
The rest of the day was pretty much an anticlimax. I climbed out of the tub almost an hour after I had gotten into it, feeling much more relaxed and, unfortunately, looking like my old male self. I called the salon but there was no answer. I found out later that they had closed early that day because of a water problem which had caused some minor flooding in the salon.
By the time Barb got home, I was dressed in my normal clothing, watching television. Barb came into the house positively bubbling with enthusiasm! She told me that we had been so successful that it had taken the better part of two hours to total all of the merchandise that Bobbie and I had "shoplifted"! Then she dropped the bombshell on me.
Jim, the store manager was so impressed at what we had accomplished and so angry at the rest of the employees because they didn't see Bobbie and me doing what we had been doing, that he wanted me to reprise my role at meetings for the next three days! Three morning meetings and three meetings for the afternoon/evening employees! Three meetings because he wanted to make sure that he made his point to ALL of the people working at that store.
What he wanted to do was this. He was going to take a couple of pictures of me in my female guise and paste them onto a "wanted" poster kind of thing. They were very common between stores in the same chain and we got them all the time, warning us about possible shoplifting teams. Now, you might think that I was overjoyed about this. Well, I wasn't!
I mean, I was thrilled that I had been so successful in my plan but, at the same time, I was frightened, knowing that my makeup skills were nowhere NEAR what had been accomplished in the salon! There was NO way I would be able to do the job myself and be as convincing as I apparently had been.
I knew that, without help, I would never be able to fool anyone into thinking I was a real woman. Barb was no real help because she never wore any makeup beyond a little lipstick. I went into my room, totally convinced that there was no way for me to pull this off. What I didn't know, however, was that Barb knew what _I_ knew and, while I was sulking in my room, thinking that I was going to look like a fool to all the employees AND my boss, Barb was on the phone to Jim.
The following morning, Barb rousted me out of bed at 7 AM! I tried to say something intelligent but I'm sure it came out like, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT AT THIS UNGODLY HOUR!!!!!?????? Barb knew me, though so she paid no attention to my outburst. She knew that I am and have never been a 'morning' person.
So she just said, in a disgustingly pleasant voice, "come on, sleepyhead. Time to rise and shine. You've got a lot of work ahead of you today."
I grumbled back at her, "it doesn't matter HOW long I have to get ready, Barb! I will NEVER be able to even come close to what they did to me in the salon! It's no use. I'm just gonna look like some kind of drag queen at best!"
She just walked away from my door, saying,
"Well, why don't you get up, now that you're awake and we can talk about what we can do about this, okay?"
"Okay." I finally grumbled back at her. But I already KNOW that I can't do what the salon did!"
She didn't answer so I got up, shaved and had some breakfast. While we were eating, there was a knock on the front door. I looked at Barb but she looked back at me with a puzzled look on her face. I got up to see who it was. When I got to the door and opened it, I got the shock of my life. At the door was my boss, Jim, AND two of the women from the salon!!! They had a bunch of cases with them and were looking at me expectantly. I just stood there with my mouth half open, trying to find some words and Jim finally said, "well, are you going to make us stand out here on the front porch all morning or are you going to invite us in?"
I tried, again, to say something intelligent, but once again, words failed me. I stood there, making faces as if I were saying something but no words were coming out. I stood back from the door and the three of them entered. Jim settled himself at the breakfast table while the two women went into the living room with Barb. Jim began to talk to me, saying, look, you did a GREAT job for us yesterday. You and your friend managed to 'shoplift' almost 10,000 dollars worth of merchandise, right out from under the noses of people you work with every day! You proved your point and you made me realize that our employees really DO need to be more observant! You've got your bonus, plus the rest of what I promised you."
"Now," he continued, if you will do the rest of what I am sure Barb told you I have planned, I'll sweeten the pot. If you'll do all 9 of the meetings for me, the way I want it to go, I will triple your bonus AND give you a week off with pay. Plus, I will recommend to the higher-ups in the chain that we really DO need those security cameras and extra mirrors that you have been bugging me about for the past year."
Well, I was absolutely floored! I couldn't believe my ears. My boss, with whom I had never really gotten along, was offering me almost one thousand dollars in bonus money, PLUS some things that would make the floorwalker's jobs easier and make us more effective. I couldn't say anything. I was just too shocked.
He must have thought I was trying to get more out of him because his next words were, okay, I'll throw one more thing into the pot. If at ANY time you think that you want to test the employees, I will give you carte blanche. You can take anything you need from the store and I will authorize funds to pay for whatever you need to successfully pull off another masquerade, but THAT'S it! I can't do any more than that."
I started to answer, realizing that I had my dreams within my grasp. Just think about this for a second. My boss was not only virtually giving me permission to appear at the store, fully 'dressed', but he was also offering to PAY me to do it! I WANTED to say, "You have a DEAL" in the most joyous tone of voice I could muster but I knew that I didn't want to appear TOO anxious about this or he would suspect something other than my expressed interest in improving store security. I stopped myself from hugging him and, instead, I sat there, pretending to be unsure of whether I wanted to subject myself to the 'humiliation' of wearing dresses etc. to work.
I again, started to speak, having settled myself down to mere jubilation, but Jim stopped me, saying, "the women from the salon are here to do your makeup, again, and they will be for the next three mornings, at MY expense, not the store's. I know it had to be stressful for you yesterday and, if you will do this for the store, I will give you the next three days off, except for the time you spend at the store in your disguise."
Well, THAT decided me. I jumped at the opportunity that he was offering me! Tell me YOU wouldn't. Go ahead, try to convince me.
Anyway, the women from the salon, did their thing, once again making me look like I had the previous day. When they left, we made all the arrangements for them to come back the following two mornings and, also, for me to stop in at the salon for any "touch-up" work I might need over the next three days. You KNOW that I was walking on those clouds again as Barb and I left the house, headed for the store. The plan was for Barb and me to get to the store before any of the other employees arrived to start the day. I would be hidden behind the closed doors of the security office in the front of the store.
Jim would call an employee meeting at the front of the store and, when everyone was there, he would pass out the 'wanted' poster of me and ask them if they had seen anyone who looked like the picture, in the store the previous day. If they indicated that they hadn't seen me, then Jim would have Barb bring me out in handcuffs and stand with me behind several tables which contained all the merchandise that Bobbie and I had 'stolen'.
The tables were covered with sheets and the merchandise couldn't be seen until the sheets were removed. Barb and I arrived at the store in plenty of time, and Jim unlocked the front doors for us. We entered and began implementation of the 'plan' I sat in the front office, being nervous and smoking cigarette after cigarette. When the meeting was called and everyone had gathered at the front of the store, I listened while Jim talked to the employees about increasing their alertness and asking whether they had seen the person on the wanted poster.
They all indicated that they hadn't seen anyone that looked like the picture so Jim told them that not only had that person been in the store the previous day, but 'she' and an accomplice had stolen over 10,000 dollars worth of merchandise. He then told them that person had made a return trip to the store later the same evening and tried to do it again but was caught by Barb. Then he told Barb to 'bring her out' and Barb entered the office, put the cuffs on me and led me out, positioning me behind the tables.
Jim, paused for effect and then whipped the sheets off the tables loaded with merchandise. I could hear the gasps from all of the employees as their eyes took in the assortment of merchandise displayed on those tables and I heard a lot of way to goes" directed at Barb for "catching" me. Jim allowed all of them plenty of time to examine the merchandise and to get a good look at me. I just stood there, a look of boredom plastered on my face, trying not to meet any of their eyes. I prayed none of them would tumble to who I really was and none of them did.
Jim then asked them if they recognized me and they all said, "no". He looked at me and I slowly reached up with my cuffed hands and took off the wig! Then, in my normal voice, I told them all what Jim and Barb and I had done. I explained why we had done what we did and pleaded with them to be more alert in the future. This could have been an actual theft and they would have felt really bad when Jim would have had to ream them AND the floorwalkers out for allowing such a large theft to take place.
Now, I had thought that they might be angry with me for fooling them but the majority of the remarks I heard were very positive and more than a few were totally amazed that I had pulled this whole thing off. Jim then took over again and warned them all that what had happened at this meeting was TOP SECRET! If he found out that any of them had talked to any other employees about it before they had attended a like meeting, they would be fired! He wanted EVERY employee to have the same surprise and shock that they'd had. Then Jim dismissed the meeting and told everyone to get ready to open the store. Barb took the handcuffs off my wrists and we went back into the office. I was a nervous wreck and I just sat there for a few minutes, smoking one cigarette after another, trying to calm myself down.
Jim came in and was VERY enthusiastic about how the meeting had gone and told me that other than a meeting at noon, and one at 5 PM, the rest of the day was mine to do what I wanted. It occurred to me, right then that this meant that I would have to spend the next three days, either completely dressed as a woman or go through the hassle of re-doing everything three times a day! Tough choice, right? Well, I sat there for a few minutes and made my decision. This was a chance for me to REALLY find out how the "other side" lived and I jumped at it.
For the rest of that day and for the next two days, I just stayed "dressed". I visited the salon before each of the afternoon meetings for touch-ups and got up at 7 AM each morning to be made over by the women from the salon. Of course, I couldn't wear the same clothes three days in a row and I convinced Jim of that fact. He agreed to let me choose several outfits from the store and added them to my bonus! If I hadn't thought that it would freak Jim out, I would've kissed him!
So I spent three days, completely en femme and loved every minute of it. It took about two days after my last "public" appearance for the thrill to wear off, not to mention the perfume, and it was the experience of my life. I know that some of you out there will doubt my story but if you ever have the chance to check the records of arrests made in that store in the 6 month period following my masquerade, you will find that they were up by almost 75 percent.
Oh, by the way, I DID get my clothes and wallet and other things back from the salon!
My thanks go to Kim EM and Sephrena Miller for editing and checking over my shoulder, as it were!
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