Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me

Previously...from Her Majesty...

“And we love you, too, just try remembering that next time you feel stupid.”*

“Gina? I just poured Cabernet down the sink. I need to talk with someone; you got time?”

Somewhere in her smile she knows
That I don't need no other lover
Something in her style that shows me

Had it been that long? Six years sober. Cheryl held no stock in being precise; each day was a victory unto itself, and the time was more a way to gauge how tenuous a year’s sobriety could be in the midst of a lifetime of temptation. Still, she found herself looking back with relief on old habits that, while not dead, were not quite alive either.

“Do you know how much I love you?”

She looked in the mirror, mouthing the words. And even though she’d come to love herself in a way that was self-accepting, it was her girlfriend’s simple care and regard that lifted her; not the ocean of her creator, perhaps, but the boat that floated on top of that vast and unending love. She recalled the evening before…

“Do you know how much I love you?”

Gina sat on the bed brushing her hair. She looked up to see Cheryl standing in the middle of the room, naked as they say as a jay bird. It had taken a while for her to reveal herself to her lover; the feelings of inadequacy seemed to hold on to her heart like ghosts in a rundown Victorian mansion. The brooms had been employed to sweep the place clean, but the ghosts felt entitled to stay. Gina’s love helped more than anything to clean away that pain. They’d be the first to admit that neither was what you’d consider gorgeous, but both were pretty in their own way even if neither started out that way and one had not even started out as a woman.

“As a matter of fact?” Gina patted the bed and Cheryl moved cautiously over and sat down. She still felt inadequate to the task of loving her girlfriend despite Gina’s encouragement to the contrary. They kissed and Gina’s hand went to caress Cheryl’s breasts. She pulled away. She wanted a drink. No. At one time she might need a drink, but she didn’t need one and she certainly didn’t want one. But she did want the strength and the solace that the drink once promised but never fulfilled. Gina couldn’t even do that, though she was a part of that strength and solace that Cheryl had gained.

“Hey…none of that!” Gina touched her cheek softly, brushing away a tear.

“You’re too good to me!” She protested. It was never true; even if Gina had been a blessing, nothing was too good for Cheryl because nothing truly good for us can be too good, and we often don’t merit or deserve the good we receive. Cheryl was still learning that after all these years. Finally past feeling unworthy of love and deserving of scorn and ridicule. She wasn’t….so many things that she felt she should have been. She wasn’t smart enough. Her father had told her that long ago, and it took so much even now to realize that her father was dead wrong.

She deserved all the bad she had ever received; wasn’t that what her mother told her? Gina’s encouragement piggy-backed on the words that her therapist had practically drilled into her. No one deserves to be hurt. No one deserves to be neglected. Life’s blessings that came to her helped her rehearse what she had learned about herself; her value went so far beyond anything she could do wrong or right.

And she didn’t deserve to be loved. That was true in a sense. As a child, her emotional tank was never filled; a disappointment to her parents and grandparents because she wasn’t the boy they thought they had sired to redeem the line; she wasn’t an heir at all, other than their dysfunction. But she didn’t deserve Gina’s love. Which made Gina’s love all the greater a gift to her; something of much more value because it was given without thought of merit or degree of performance. Cheryl’s only task in gaining Gina’s love was that she merely had to be herself.

And in that she settled….rested in fact on her lover’s shoulder. No fighting when Gina’s hand grabbed her chin. No resistance when Gina’s lips brushed softly at the corner of her eye as they attended to her ever-comforting tears; soft and grateful reminders of how much she felt loved. No pulling away when hands began to explore her bareness and bless her body.

“Do you know how much I love you?” It really had only been in recent months that Cheryl could nod in agreement with Gina’s careful assessment of Cheryl’s meaning in her life. Even if tentative, she nevertheless was at a place of realizing just how much she mattered. And she realized it was only by being herself that she really found some meaning. For the first time in her life finding that she didn’t need to fulfill someone’s dream. For the first time that she could remember she wasn’t a disappointment no matter what she did or didn’t do. And yet at the same time she found that she indeed fulfilled Gina’s dreams in a way by merely loving back.

It almost seemed too easy; too simple to be real. But it was exactly in its simplicity; the only restrictions and demands on Cheryl came from those ghosts who slowly were vacating her life; finally replaced by understanding that she was as lovely as Gina said she was. Beauty truly being in the eye of the beholder. As the song goes, there was just something in the way she moved; something that attracted her to Gina like no other.

Gina said it once again; not quite a tease but playfully romantic nonetheless. She cupped Cheryl’s right breast and held it softly, considering her lover’s beauty. She had no cleavage to speak of, but she still looked almost ravishing to Gina, who had moved her lips to between Cheryl’s breasts. A start went through her; energy playing through her like a finely tuned instrument. She opened her mouth and released a sob that turned into a soft laugh as Gina nibbled softly.

“MMMMmmmm.” Gina sighed. Her hands moved; each touch electric for hand and body both as she returned her attention to Cheryl’s lips.

“Mmmmmmm…me too….” Cheryl said with another laugh as she fell into her lover. Cherishing and treasuring and drinking in each other moment to moment until they found themselves in each other. An acceptable intoxication, both would explain. Soft and rough and hard and fast and slow and savory and until they lay back to front; their soft sobs a sweet theme that both described and fulfilled their love.

Something in the way she knows
And all i have to do is think of her
Something in the things she shows me

I don't want to leave her now
You know I believe and how

Finale'

Something
words and music by
George Harrison
by DaneDane11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mESEdBI744&feature=related