Images 36

Chapter 36

Taylor…

I know I talk so much about him that it’d drive most people out of their trees but…

There’s those kinds of guys that a girl get married to.

And then there’s those guys that are your husbands.

I mean I’m getting this whole direct proof thing of the in sickness and in health, to have and to hold to honor and to cherish and really…he’s not trying.

He’s Taylor just being Taylor.

I’m still kind of muzzle post afterglow, post emotional, post TG-PMS as he calls it and just in the blankets we took with us on the couch and just watching him. He went about as far to getting dressed as slipping on a pair of grey old track pants and the ties are undone and hanging out in a sexy way. He’s on the phone trying to put in our orders for stuff in Chinese from the menu because that’s how he’s always tried to order and it’s just one of his things. I think it’s cute even if there’s really good odds that he’s driving the person on the other end nuts by trying.

I actually really like most Chinese food mostly because I’ve never had that much of it my whole life. And I know the stuff you get out of your average restaurant isn’t “real” Chinese food but I still like it. I have three big weaknesses and that’s chow mien of any kind and deep fried won tons and steamed dumplings my absolute fave is the soup dumpling and they’re just so good.

But I like all of it. Except the fried rice. For some reason I don’t like fried rice until its cold and the next day and then it’s just awesome, better than cold pizza.

I can’t help but get this smile on my face as Taylor comes over and he kisses me and scrolls through the TV and getting onto that Net thingy looking for my Gilmore Girls shows and we settle in and we get the coffee table filled with the stuff and we move some blankets and cushions to the floor as we make this little nest where we can watch TV and pig out and kiss and neck and stuff.

That’s what we do all night too and even get into these little debates over him sooo getting Luke and I’m defending Lorelei and it’s not fighting but it’s almost that back and forth that the characters have on the screen.

I am so happy right now.

It’s likely not what a lot of people would call a perfect night. It’s not candles and romance and expensive stuff even though Chinese foods not cheap really. It’s just me and Taylor eating on the floor and watching TV together.

It’s cornball as heck really but to me this. These are the things that I’d dream of dreaming about.

I change things up too because I love him and we watch one of my shows and then we watch one of his, this Sons of Anarchy show that’s this biker gang TV show. Taylor is very into it and nodding at the stuff. Me…heck it’s violent and all those bad things and all of that but it’s like taking a class in Taylor-Billy-Davey 101.

But it’s me y’know being able to just give and equal measure, we like different stuff and everything bur we also do these things foe each other too like watch each others shows and stuff. I mean it’s not my thing but I know what the guys are talking about when they talk about stuff like that more.

But I bet that Taylor’s glad that I don’t watch the Young and the Restless or the other soaps. Not many girls my age really do those shows that I know of. Grams watches Y&R as far as I know though and gramps calls Victor “The Moustache.”

All in all it goes from everything in the laundry room and the rough patch with me wanting to be complete and the ache of wanting it right then and there to lovemaking and now this which is a whole other way that Taylor makes love to me.

Hey guys you can make love to your woman by doing the little big things. Making love is about the love far more than the sex.

We get to sleep a little later than we usually do but it’s just one of those really good times. I slip out of the shower and lotion up and let myself sort of just air dry while I’m drying my hair which still unfortunately doesn’t take long. I do really miss my hair; it had taken a long time to get my hair to a length that was right where I wanted it too. It’s just hanging past my ears now a little bit and I’ve been trying to find a nice style for it.

I apply a bit of baby powder and brush my teeth and slip into a camisole and a sexy pair of panties. I really try to actually only own nice panties because it helps me feel like I’m kind of sexy and girly. I kind of need that in the times where I don’t feel like I’m doing the whole transition thing fast enough or if I’m even doing it right. The little danglers are gone so and I’m a C-cup thankfully so it’s really late for real second thoughts anyways.

Not that that’ll be one of my issues. Jaime…me back then just couldn’t make an emotional connection with the world. And even with all the heartache, abuse, betrayals and pain that I’ve had I’ll never go back there.

I was dead there.

I like living.

Feeling things really for the first time in my life and now after being myself for awhile I get to really treasure things. My friends, My family and the sight of my husband smiling at me in our bed as he’s holding the covers open for me to slip into them with him.

I love this, part I really do getting into our bed that is our spot, it’s where we snuggle tight and shut out the world, it’s where we make love and are there for each other. It smells like US, it feels like US and that US is really huge to me and it’s something that I’ll never take for granted.

I settle into our bed and slide up against Taylor for some more kissing and he touches me runs his hands over me not all sexual I mean it is easy enough but it’s that just random way you touch your lover, feel explore and remember and remind them of things that just so…

I get to fall asleep with Taylor’s big strong arms around me and his body pressed up against me and it lulls me to sleep.

……………………………………………… I wake up early in the morning with the usual work day ahead of me but I can’t help the smile that’s on my face at being held but also of Taylor’s hardness pressed up against me.

There are some mornings when this is a better thing than others. I mean there are just times when I don’t want to.

This morning isn’t one of those times.

I roll over and the feelings are just there and so intense too they are a drug. The hormones I’m on this morning are running wild after last night being so loved and cared for was like they put me on a slow boil all night and I’m still a teenager even if in transition so my body is aching for him.

I want to taste him first. And I roll over gently and shimmy down and pull his boxers down and take one of his balls in my mouth as I stroke him then the other pulling my mouth away in a sort of kiss. His “Oh…Jen…” while still sort in that sleep haze a musical drug to my ears and I slowly lick my lips until they’re wet enough and slide my lips over him in this kiss, but a hot wet kiss that goes deeper and deeper…I’m about halfway down when he arches into it and I hear his breath catch in his throat. “J...Jenna!”

I “Mmmm…” around him and he pants. I think you call that a hummer but it doesn’t matter it’s driving him deeper and deeper into early morning pleasure and he looks down at me and there’s this look of wonder and amazement that I never get tired of seeing when he does that, he’s not tied of this or of me and It’s not like I don’t do this. But it’s like he never really expects me to every time.
I like oral sex.

It’s not for everyone and I like it for the pleasure I give him, for the way that he looks at he, stares and watches moves.

And it’s prayer.

I know some of the LGBT people that’d freak and say I’m not supposed to worship Taylor. Well I do ant I don’t. Taylor to me is a miracle, he loves me, he gets me and to me that’s just proof of God to me.

God is love, Taylor’s my love. So when I’m doing this for my love I’m in my own half baked twisted way praying and giving thanks.

And I swear when I’m really into like I’m getting and Taylor’s into it like he’s getting there is something holy about it.

He cries my name out over and over as he lets loose his orgasm and I’m more than good enough at this now that I don’t really leave anything behind and enjoy it too. I guess there’s some more proof about my gender and sexuality. I drink Taylor’s cum and it makes me feel all hyper girly and yet gay guys don’t really feel girly and I don’t really get why they do it at all. Well the pleasure and stuff but I don’t get the emotional connection.

I kiss and suck on his abs awhile getting him hard again while my hands stroking and fondling and make my way up until I’m where I want to be. Getting lube and stuff done is a snap once you’re used to doing it so I’ll spare you that and I sink myself down onto him.

Everything about it is right to me. His size, hardness, the heat too there’s something about it that just makes it better than any toy or imitation male bit. And I move, bend, sway back and forth as much as up and down and we get to our me on top bit.

It’s really good too he holds onto me by my waist and moves me as much as I’m moving and there’s this rush that I get from rubbing my hands over his hard muscles. It’s such a turn on to feel those powerful arms with my hands or his chest and I’ll lean down and kiss him but get into a rhythm where I’m rubbing my nipples over his hot hard chest and grazing my breasts against him and it’s just so good a build up all over that takes me over my edge eventually and my getting release is like a signal for him to roll us over until he’s the top and he’s very…grr…in a good way as he takes me and when it’s really good he takes me into this fantasy that I’m really fixed and that sweet friction and feelings of heat and hardness and everything else that is Taylor is sinking into somewhere else.

No condoms…I love to feel him inside me and filling me, yes there’s the cleaning up stuff afterwards but I want that feeling of his wet boiling offering inside of me.

There’s lots of kissing as we come down then it’s off to our bathroom routine which is just another thing I love. And it’s getting even better too. we’re not as clumsy in the shower and we wash each other and it’s just really nice having someone do those places you can get too and it’s like part massage too and a lot about just the intimate contact.

And I love that we shampoo each others hair. It’s just something that we like to do and I know Taylor’s into that and me. I think its fun he’s taller so he’s leaning over his face in my boobs and I’m lathering up his sort hair and having fun. “This is a good morning.”

“How so?”

“Well first I get to play with one head and then the other one.”

“Jen…aww…that was bad.”

“Yeah but you love me anyway.”

“You’re a goof.”

“Yep.”

“Cornball.”

“Yep.”

“I love you.”

“I know, I see it all the time, hear it, feel it….”

“Smell it.”

“Smell…oh…oh Good god Taylor!” I try to bail out of the shower and he’s tickling me which is so damn unfair. “Taylor! Tailor! Eeew! No more Chinese for you!”

He’s laughing, really laughing so it still all good even if guys never grow up really, just more proof that I’m a girl. At least I’m growing up.

But you know when I say I see God in him. If you had ever seen Taylor minus the bullshit and all the crap that life’s piled on him laughing…really laughing and so open. You’d see it too.

We have fun and while Taylor goes down to start things, I take My Bible with the passages that are the things that make sense to me and fill my quiet spaces up with light and I take my coffee and head up to the roof. I take some laundry too with me and hang things to dry. Yeah it’s November but I’ll use my clotheslines until the snow’s flying.

Besides, oddly I think God likes it when we’re being green. At least the planet will. I’m not going to get too faith versus science here but I believe in both and I think that there’s someone there, something there and there won’t be any right answers until we get both on the same track or something like that.

Let’s just say I’m not a fan of the extremists of faiths of any kind or the extremists that try to destroy faiths of every kind.

I drink my coffee, offer some to God not that I’m expecting them to take any but its good manners and besides he knows I need the caffeine. I read some of my passages that I’ve marked out and just sit and breathe and be grateful. For me it’s really nothing more than that. I head back down stairs a smile inside and out and head right into work.

It’s the usual press and rush of things but I love it really and there’s some more water bottles out for some more charities. The V.O.N. Victorian order of Nursing, War Amps Canada and the Veterans assistance fund…Taylor tapes a sign to that one saying. “Bring us a used poppy and we’ll put in a dollar.” I know it’s just after Remembrance Day but there’s some things I’m starting to believe that deserve more that just one day a year of attention and now knowing there’s people who served in my family.

It means a lot more.

Actually I’m very happy about our wall of water bottles because we have to go and take some of them down because their full. The cancer ones have a lot in them too in the way of bills and loonies and toonies, but the one’s for the women’s shelters in the city and The Boys and Girls clubs of Canada, MADD or Mother’s against Drunk Drivers We’ve had a lot more traffic in here and a lot of the alternative crowd has started to come here as part of the new place to be welcomed to hang out at. Some of them don’t have a lot of cash but some of them give every time.

Kendal takes pictures of them full and then she’ll take pictures of the counted cash and the totals for the diner’s website and when we get the totals we also announce it to the whole place how much we’ve raised and what for.

You know that actually makes people give more and dig a little deeper.

Its stuff like this that just….makes me hug myself. Or Tay talking to a few of the kids outside that look like some of the street kids. He talks to Dad when he shows and soon they’re washing the truck and the doing the squeegee thing on out windows. By the time they’re done there’s six of them with Dad out back in the laundry room eating morning rush leftovers, getting warm, and washing and drying their clothes for free.

Some of these kids aren’t trustworthy, some you can see are dopers or whatever but we don’t toss them out either. We don’t give them a temptation to steal or let the spark up of shoot up but food for some work, heat, clean clothes and no lectures it’s something at least.
I know Taylor see’s himself in them and they kind of have this we won’t push it with him because he’s been there thing going on. Me…you just have to pay it forward, or even earn good karma because you never know when you’ll need the help.

It’s a pretty great day one of those thank you days and even the tips are rolling in pretty good.

Right up until I get to my next table and Ingrid is sitting there.

“Hi Jenna? Can we talk?”