Chapter 5

Dinner at eight

Eleanor and Christine arrived at about seven o’clock armed with a bottle of wine and a large bunch of flowers. They were a couple of single women in their late twenties or early thirties who lived together, presumably in a lesbian relationship, although nobody actually said so. They’d been friendly with Suzanne for several years, and had stuck with her during her prolonged illness. Neither of them was at all mannish in her looks or deportment. In fact, in common with Suzanne, they both seemed to get pleasure from dressing up and looking nice.

Suzanne let them in to the flat using her automated door phone, whilst I was checking on the progress of the meal in the kitchen. As soon as I heard their conversation in the hall. I took a quick glance at myself in the kitchen mirror, just to make sure that I still looked alright, and took a deep breath.

Well, here goes! I thought to myself as I emerged, smiling.

‘This is my cousin Clare, from Loughborough, who will be staying with me for a few days,’ said Suzanne to the newcomers.

‘Hi, Clare,’ they both answered in unison, as they took off their outdoor coats.

‘I really like that dress you’re wearing, Clare,’ said Eleanor as we shook hands.

‘Thank you, it is nice, isn’t it, but I’m afraid it belongs to Suzanne and is only loaned to me for this evening. I’d no idea that I was going to be invited to a posh dinner party during my brief visit to London, or else I’d have brought something of my own to wear,’ I answered.

‘Yes, now you come to mention it I think I have seen it before, but it does suit you, all the same,’ she continued.

‘That’s exactly what I said,’ added Suzanne.

I smiled and blushed slightly at the compliment.

‘We organise these dinner parties from time to time; it gives us a chance to put on our best frocks, and also to have a gossip together,’ said Christine as we shook hands.

‘It sounds like good fun,’ I replied as I began to take the guests’ coats from them and hang them on the hooks by the front door.

‘Would you like me to deal with these flowers Suzanne?’ I asked, glad of any opportunity to withdraw from the limelight for a few minutes.

‘Oh yes please Clare, you’ll find a vase under the sink, but be careful not to splash water on my dress.’

‘Don’t worry! I promise to be careful.’

I picked up the bottle of wine and the flowers and took them through to the kitchen, whilst the others continued talking together. I put on Suzanne’s apron and began arranging flowers. This was one traditional feminine skill that I’d learned from my mother, and so five minutes later I was able return with quite an attractive arrangement, which I placed in the middle of the table, moving my own flowers from the previous afternoon to the sideboard. The others had clearly begun to discuss ‘my cousin’s’ medical condition.

‘So how have you been feeling this week Suzanne?’ asked Christine.

‘I’ve been pretty good for the last few weeks, thank you. The doctor tells me that my condition is currently in remission and that if I carry on this way I could well have a year or more of reasonably active life left to me,’ she said in a matter of fact way.

I looked across at her, knowing that what she’d just said was a lie.

‘But there’s still no prospect of any cure?’ asked Christine.

‘No, I’m afraid not. I lost any hope of that many months ago, and am now resigned to getting the most out of my remaining years of my life and making the best of the time left to me.’

Again, I realized that this was probably an exaggeration.

‘That’s why we’re both feeling so guilty about leaving you just now, but we have been waiting for the opportunity to go together for so long,’ said Christine.

‘I know, and you mustn’t feel guilty. You have your own lives to lead, and I know that you’ve been planning this trip for several years. In any event, you’ll only be gone for one or two years, and I’ve every intention of still being around when you get back and hearing all about your adventures, since I’ll never be able to travel again.’

‘We can keep in touch by phone and email and I suppose we could always come back if you needed us,’ added Eleanor.

‘Yes please do keep in touch, but I assure you that your offer of returning early will not be necessary.’

Then, wishing to change the subject, Suzanne turned towards me.

‘Clare, the dinner still has half an hour to cook, would you be an angel and get everyone a glass of wine whilst we are waiting.’

‘Of course,’ I answered smiling, glad of yet another excuse to withdraw from the conversation.

I poured the drinks, and later discovered that I would be expected to stand in for my ‘cousin’ as the practical hostess for the evening whilst Suzanne looked after the conversation. This suited me well as I could get on with things whilst the others continued their talking. I didn’t remain entirely in the background, however, and during pauses in the conversation I asked both of the visitors about their plans for Voluntary Service Overseas for the next year, where they were going and what they hoped to do whilst they were there. They, in turn, asked about my background and I added some more detail to the basic outline that Suzanne had given me. Neither of the visitors appeared to be suspicious of any of my answers.

‘So what is it that brings you up to London this week Clare?’ asked Eleanor.

‘I’m looking for a new job. I’ve recently ended a relationship with a work colleague that seemed to be going nowhere and I was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic living and working in Leicestershire. At first I thought I might try for a job in Birmingham, but that’s not far enough away to make a real break with the past, so I’ve decided to come down to London for a few days to see if I can find a suitable job. My mum made me promise to call in to see Suzanne whilst I was here, and, when I got in touch, she kindly offered to let me stay with her for a few days whilst I see what work is available.’

’That seemed to go down quite well,’ I thought.

‘What sort of work are you looking for?’ asked Christine.

‘General secretarial work - a personal assistant - that sort of thing. I might even consider a receptionist, but I’ve a few years of experience and have pretty good keyboard and computer skills,’ I answered. ‘I’ll start off by registering with a temp agency and then try and find somewhere to live.’

‘You shouldn’t have too much trouble finding suitable office work in central London, but finding decent and affordable accommodation may be more of a problem,’ commented Christine.

(I should perhaps explain to my readers that this was five years ago when such jobs were relatively easy to come by in London.)

Eleanor agreed with her friend with respect to the shortage of decent and affordable accommodation. Suzanne seized the opportunity to join in.

‘If you do get yourself a job, Clare, then you would be welcome to stay with me for a while, until you find something of your own. We seem to get on together and we could come to some arrangement over the rent.’

Christine exchanged a glance with Eleanor. I could see that they both approved of the idea.

‘Thanks for the offer, Suzanne,’ I said. ‘I may even take you up on it, at least until I can find myself something a little more permanent. However, I’ll have to see whether I can find a suitable job before committing myself.’

‘Well the offer is there if you wish to take it up.’

I smiled and thanked her. Things seemed to be going according to plan, and Suzanne appeared to be quite pleased with my performance so far.

‘By the way, here is a cheque for the forty pounds that you loaned me this morning when I went out shopping.’ I continued opening the handbag that she'd given to me.

I took the already completed cheque and handed it over, as previously arranged. Suzanne smiled and thanked me, and then asked Christine if she would mind putting it on the mantel piece for her for the time being. The name, Clare A Simpson, could easily be seen, if either of our visitors chose to look.

The remainder of the dinner went well. I served and our two guests helped to clear the table. Suzanne was an imaginative and capable cook, even though she sometimes now needed help in the kitchen. The conversation between the four of us gradually became more relaxed and friendly, oiled by wine. I deliberately restricted myself to a single glass in case I should let my guard down; and thereafter I stuck to drinking bottled water. The others seemed not to notice and shared a second bottle of wine and the beginning of a third, before having a liqueur with their coffees. Towards the end of the evening Suzanne asked me to fetch her camera and I took several pictures of the group, including one with me as well, using the timer. Eventually, at about 11.00 pm the two visitors offered to help with the washing up before they left.

‘No it’s all right thanks; we don’t want to spoil our dresses. Clare has kindly offered to help me with the clearing up tomorrow. You two can call yourselves a cab and get ready to leave.’

‘Alright then, as long as you’re both sure that’ll be ok,’ said Eleanor.

‘Yes of course it will,’ I said, ‘Suzanne did most of the cooking, so I’m happy to do the washing up, as long as it can wait until tomorrow morning.’

‘Alright then, but in return, why don’t the two of you come to our place for lunch tomorrow, it’ll save you having to prepare anything for yourselves?’ suggested Christine.

Eleanor nodded in agreement but I quickly answered for us both without even consulting Suzanne.

‘Thank you for the offer, but I’m afraid I’ve already arranged to take Suzanne out to lunch tomorrow as a ‘thank you’ for putting me up, and we’ve booked a table at a restaurant.’

‘That’s a pity,’ said Christine, what about the following Sunday?’

‘That will be fine by me, how about you Clare?’ answered Suzanne.

‘No I’m afraid I’ll be back in Loughborough before then, I’ve only taken a few days off work to have a preliminary look around London.’

‘Alright then, we’ll see you next Sunday then Suzanne.’

Ten minutes later the taxi had arrived. I fetched their coats and the two friends were just on the point of leaving.

‘Goodbye Clare, it has been so nice to meet you, and I hope you find a good job soon and decide to take up your cousin’s offer. Christine and I would be much happier to know that someone is keeping an eye on her,’ said Eleanor.

I smiled and thanked her.

‘I don’t need anyone to keep an eye on me’, commented Suzanne. ‘I only made the offer so that I could keep an eye on Clare and make sure she comes to no harm, if she does decide to move to London.’

‘Well in that case you can keep an eye on each other,’ said Christine.

‘We’ll have to see how things work out, but it was nice to meet you both,’ I answered, briefly exchanging a kiss on the cheeks with the two departing guests.

As soon as our guests had left I let out an audible sigh of relief.

‘Well Suzanne, so how did I do?’ I asked with a satisfied smile.

‘Clare, as you know perfectly well, you were brilliant. Not only were you lively and interesting company but I’m also sure that neither of them had the slightest suspicion about your origins,’ said Suzanne smiling.

‘Thank you, I must admit to being rather pleased with the way things went tonight, but I was anxious all the time that I might let down my guard and say something to give myself away. Do you mind if I have another drink of wine now to calm my nerves?’

‘Not at all, I’m not feeling particularly sleepy and so we can finish the bottle together.’

Suzanne poured me a drink and then one for herself.

‘I’m sorry that I stepped in and refused their offer of Sunday lunch tomorrow, but I thought it might be more difficult to keep up the pretence in broad daylight.’

Suzanne laughed.

‘Don’t worry, I can just as easily go the following week, but what was all that about going out to a restaurant tomorrow?’ asked Suzanne.

‘I just needed to think of an excuse quickly.’

‘Alright but I’m sure you would have been just as successful if we had decided to go. You’re much better than I ever expected you to be when I cooked up this crazy scheme. Where on earth did you learn to act so well?’

I shrugged.

‘I don’t know really, but once I got in to the character it just seemed to come naturally to me; it was almost as if I’d become another person. I think the fact that I looked and sounded the part also helped,’ she replied.

‘Yes, you do look and sound like a girl; most of the time that you’re dressed as Clare, I tend to forget that there ever was a young man called Tom,’ added Suzanne.

‘I suppose I should accept that as a compliment,’ I said blushing a little.

‘It was meant to be one. Tom is generous and kind but Clare strikes me as having a livelier and more interesting personality.’

I wasn’t sure whether I should feel flattered or upset by Suzanne’s comment so I sought to change the subject.’

‘Well your friends appear to have accepted our explanation of my presence in London.’

‘Yes, that was also a good story of yours about coming down to look for a new job, I even began to believe it myself.’

‘But won’t they now want to know what happened to me the next time they meet you?’

‘Yes probably they will, but they’re both scheduled to leave the country in early January and so I’m sure that I can make up some convincing story about you starting work in London at about the same time as they leave.’

‘As long as you will truly be alright living on your own once your friends have left,’ I said.

‘Don’t worry about me, Clare, I’ll be fine. I’m determined to stay independent for as long as I can,’ she answered.

‘I suppose Tom only lives a few streets away and he could pop in from time to time.’

‘Or indeed Clare would be welcome to come and stay, whenever she wants.’

‘It’s a pity that you don’t have a young cousin who could share your flat with you and keep an eye on you,’ I said.

‘Well there could be a vacancy for anyone who was prepared to live under the name of Clare Simpson, if you were interested in taking on the role,’ said Suzanne looking seriously into my eyes.

‘I don’t think so, thanks all the same,’ I answered dismissing the idea. ‘I may have been able to get away with being Clare for one evening but it would be a different matter to do it full-time, and in any event I already have a job and a flat, and what would I tell my father?’

‘Well the offer is open for a while if you ever want to reconsider,’ said Suzanne smiling.

It was an intriguing thought, but not a realistic one, so I didn’t answer, and Suzanne changed the subject

‘What are you going to do now young lady? I take it that you’re going to stay the night again and get changed in the morning?’

‘Yes please, I can’t very well go back to my flat dressed like this, just in case I should meet with one of the neighbours’. In any event, I’ve already promised to help you with the clearing up tomorrow.’

‘Good, in that case let us both get ourselves ready for bed and we can decide what we’re going to do tomorrow morning. The wine is beginning to have its effect on me. Will you need my help in getting undressed and removing your makeup?’

‘No I think I should be alright tonight thanks.’

‘In that case I’ll say goodnight Clare, and thank you again for all your help this weekend!’ said Suzanne holding my hand to steady her and then kissing me on the cheek.

‘Goodnight Suzanne, and thank you for inviting me to such a delicious meal with your friends.’

She smiled and made her way slowly to her bedroom.

It took me more than three quarters of an hour for me to clean off my makeup, moisturize my skin, remove my earrings (replacing them with the pair of studs) and get changed into the nightdress which Suzanne had provided for me. But as soon as my head hit the pillow I fell fast asleep.

I had two particularly vivid dreams that night, or at least two which I was able to remember clearly afterwards. These were no doubt the result of all the nervous energy that I’d expended during the course of the evening. In my first dream I was dressed only in the lingerie loaned to me by Suzanne but was in the playground of my old school. Inevitably I was feeling both exposed and embarrassed about the way I was dressed especially as there were lots of people there whom I knew from my childhood. I could also see my mother and father standing at the school gate. Yet nobody seemed to be taking any particular notice of me or my attire. In my second dream, I was dressed in a beautiful long white ball gown, had long styled hair and immaculate makeup. I was at some form of social gathering, talking happily to my three colleagues from work, who were dressed up as well. Suzanne was there too, sitting at a table nearby, but looking happy and healthy. Once again, nobody appeared to react strangely towards me or see anything particularly out of the ordinary in my appearance.