That day was the day things changed in my life.
I remember it well. It started off normal enough put my stash into the car for after I had done the rounds of dropping off more resumes to be totally ignored.
Drove the hours drive into the city for trying to get yet another office job. Lately if is mentioned an office in the add I would drop off a resume.
I had used the schools laser printer to print off some resumes. It was free and since I used what little money I had for parking and gas it was the best I could do.
I walked back to my 1984 charger. Nothing special but it moved fast and had plenty of room to get dressed even if I never left the car. It was my sanctuary. I found that many of the underground parking lots were poorly lit and if you parked in just the right spot you could get changed and nobody would see you at all. Made putting on makeup a chore but usually by that time makeup was the last step anyways.
My stash looked to all intents as a safety emergency box. On top was a blanket, clean but obviously old. Under that was some candles a can of foot some road flares, boots and gloves. Under that was a snowmobile suit. In the suit however disguised by the bulkiness was my babies sized b breast forms, I got them at an auction for some estate sale for a song at $5. Nobody wanted to touch such lifelike forms that were used. No glues or anything. A good wash in antibacterial soap took care of any germs. I got a great human hair wig as well that was long and sorta red. After much reading and a bit of experimentation I redyed it to match my own hair color better. It was so exciting I almost messed my pants when I got both without my parent knowing.
I was never a trans type of guy it was a fetish. Dress up as a girl and most times I would explode into my panties and pantyhose. No need to use Palmala Handerson here. A bit of dressing and poof I was good for another month.
This day was different. I was sitting in my car relaxing and having a cigarette. Most places hated if you showed up smelling like an ashtray so I smoked in my car with the window open and a jacket on. By the time I walked anywheres for a drop off I had washed my hands and the mint in my mouth had taken care of the smell.
This morning I had dropped off 2 resumes It was almost lunch time and I should have been getting ready for more drop offs. I thought of my stash in the back. The more I thought of it the more excited I got. At one point I was panting like mad and the windows were fogging up. It was getting unbearable I was sweating like a pig and my member was already starting to wet my boxer shorts.
I reached down and tried to release some pressure by opening the zipper that helped but my mind was still going strong. I could almost feel the skirt suit and assorted lingerie I had packed in the back. I reached down and tried to rearrange myself. That was a bad move. When i reached down through the zipper I felt and heard a tiny ripping sound. It got me more excited. I knew it was bad but suddenly I had to have more. I pulled on the boxer shorts this way and that. Soon I was rewarded with another small ripping sound. I was in exstacy. I pulled more and this time I felt the fabric of the boxers tear. As I did so I exploded into them.
They were instantly soaked, however I needed more. I can't explain it but I needed it really bad. I used both hands on either side of the zipper and my dress pants and soon was pulling while trying to resist. Rip and I felt the waist button let go. It was soo good. But more more more was going through my head. I couldn't stop myself now I tried to leave the pants alone and grabbed my tie. I ripped that apart across the back of my neck. More more more I tore a sleeve at the seem. More more more more the buttons went flying as i tore a section of that dress shirt off. IT was overwhelming more more more the seams of my pants just came apart there was bits of thread everywhere. More more more I tore up those cloths into small rags while simultaneously exploding again and again and again using whatever piece of rag of my former dress clothes was handy. Withing 20 minutes every piece of male clothing in the car except that snowsuit was shredded. I was exhausted and took a small nap.
My watch beeped informing me I had slept naked in the cars back seat for an hour it was almost noon. I knew I couldn't stay there and the smell from the front wasn't that nice either. Worse yet I had to pee. I panicked I didn't think I could get away with the blanket or the snowsuit in mid Summer. The only thing left was to get into my stash. I was reluctant but I did so. First came the panties with the lace at the thighs and pretty bow at the top. Next came the matching bra and my forms. I tucked my now thoroughly spent penis down so it didn't show and pulled on some silky pantyhose they were a nude beige and brand new in the package. I was very careful to bring them up my hairless legs. They felt great. Next came the silk black half slip it was so silky cool against my nylons and panties it made me shiver like I was cold.
The purple satin camisole with lace at the top that hid my forms well but gave the illusion of visible cleavage. I was shaking pretty bad all over by this point. I pulled out my makeup kit and the tiny battery operated mirror it had and by crouching down I was able to put on my foundation, blush, mascara and eyeshadow. The months of magazine reading in the waiting rooms for tips on makeup made a difference and I soon saw my female half prettily looking back at me in the mirror. A bit of face powder to seal in all in and then a spritz of hairspray so I didn't mess it up finished it off. A very natural but sexy daytime look. I pulled out my box with my wig and the hairbrush and carefully brushed it out then using the double sided tape tabs attached my wig firmly to my head. A bit more brushing and voila my girl self was in the mirror in her lingerie and with her hair mostly done.
Putting on a skirt suit and top in the back seat was not easy and required a bit of peculiar angles but I mostly managed and put on my heels. Purple simple 1 inch heels not to high not to low that made my legs look gorgeous. A bit more squirming got me to the front of car and I opened the door after extensively checking nobody was around. With it open and my interior light disabled I finished adjusting my suit to sit properly and buttoned and zipped up the skirt. I was still shaking but not so bad. The top of suit I left undone but pulled straight. I reached into the car and found a plastic bag that had carried my skirt suit and stuffed all of the messy rags of my former male clothes into it I found one piece that was mostly clean still and using a bit of windshield washer fluid from the jug in the car I washed what was on my hands and the bits of makeup on hands at the same time. I stuff that and the ruined shoes, yes the male shoes also got ripped in my attack into the bag and placed it under the car for now.
I quickly did my nails with red lee press on nails and the glue. From my purse I removed a little gold necklace which I put around my neck, My gold ladies watch which went onto my left wrist. And a small ladies promise ring also in gold. I pulled out the earrings but since I didn't have pierced ears I just placed them on the console in car for now. I grabbed my brush from the back seat and finished doing my hair with some clever use of hairpins it gave me a professional ladies look. I stared into that rearview mirror and I felt more was needed. I soon found my tweezers in the purse that came with one of the makeup kits and brought them to my eyebrow. I stopped myself and thought this was insane I can't do this. I tried to put them back into my purse but I couldn't after three attempts my hands seem to start plucking at one eyebrow. Soon the bushy eyebrow was gone and in its place was a proper ladies delicate arch. My parents were gonna kill me I couldn't hide that. I had to stop.
I didn't and soon the other eyebrow was done to match. No going back now. My eyes had tears in them. Why was this happening to me. I was ashamed. I put the tweezers back into my purse and put my few makeup bits and lipstick into it on one side I extracted my ladies wallet and transferred all my id over too it. I was sad but wouldn't let myself cry. As soon as that was transferred over I shredded the male wallet as well. It was now little more than loose flaps of fabric and would never hold anything again. I dropped it into my lap.
Without realizing it I had grabbed one earring from the console and had the back off and the pin pressed into the lobe of my ear. I had to stop now.. I tried but my hand would not move. For 5 minutes I struggled with myself. I cried openly with tears running down my face but thanks to the spritz of hairspray no makeup mess. As you can guess it was a loosing battle and soon my earrings were in with backs on. Yep both ears got pierced and I didn't feel a bit of pain. Well emotional but not physical. I had to get out of the car and to a bathroom. My bladder was really starting to bother me. So I grabbed my purse and exited the car. I had a cigarette lit and was smoking it as I walked discretely with my bag of trash. Along the way I tossed the junk into a trash can.
There was no way now I could go home as anything but as a girl anyways. I had not done up my blazer when I entered the mall proper using the stairs to get as close to the back washrooms which nobody uses. I made my way quickly but not too quickly so as to be noticed and out of place. I got to the washroom and no other women were there so I shut the door on the regular stall of the 2 stall bathroom and pulled up my skirt and down my panties and hose and then sat down to do my business. I was still sticky down below from earlier. It felt gross. So after peeing and wiping myself with tissue I flushed the toilet. As it was filling I wet some tissue and wiped myself down below. Not the best clean but at least it shouldn't smell. I flushed that down too then I fixed myself up careful to not put any runs into my pantyhose.
I exited the stall and went to the mirror. In the mirror was a very professional looking but quite attractive young woman. One you would see as a junior secretary in a law firm. I casually fixed the bits of mess makeup that I could see so my appearance was flawlessly pretty. I could see no trace whatsoever of my boyish self. I was all girl. Tears threatened to spill again. I used tissue to dab at my eyes. I had no idea what I was going to do. I couldn't very well go looking for a job like this. No matter how much one of my fantasies had wanted too. I was leaning on that counter still when in walked a woman in her at a guess 30's but could be older. She took one look at me and my distressed state and asked me what was wrong. I don't know why but I told her I was terrified and that I should be out handing out resumes and applying for office jobs and stuff. But I was stuck looking awful in the bathroom instead. I didn't try to act or sound like a woman but I guess my voice and mannerisms had changed along with my clothes. It happened before when I was dressed at home and someone called for my mom.
The ladies tried to calm me down and asked if I had a resume on me. I said no of course. She asked me what I was looking for and why so I told her the truth. Leaving out that I was actually male. She asked me quite a few questions and at the end when I had calmed down she told me that if I could bring her a resume tomorrow she would be quite happy to give me a chance at her office. It would be a junior office assistant and my duties would be filing, some typing, and fetching the men coffee when they asked. I couldn't believe it. Here after months of nothing was a woman handing me the best of job opportunities. I must have forgotten myself because I agreed I would. Then she hugged me and buttoned up my blazer. She complemented me on my style and professional appearance.
That was 2 hours ago. It took me sometime to find this free clinic after looking in the yellow pages. Doctor can you help me. I don't know what to do I even tried to get new pants but I was shaking so bad when I held them I was afraid I would rip them apart so I dropped them and left. Am I crasy. Is there some drug to let me go back to normal?
"Well that is some story miss, by the way you have not yet given me your name."
"My name is Diedre Halls. No Its Diedre Halls. No that's right. Uh here my drivers license."
" So its David Halls."
"Yes I'm Diedre Halls"
"And you never had any intention of changing sex before."
"I know I am a crossdresser doc. But I can assure you I am a otherwise healthy young woman. err Woman. Can you help me please give me a shot or drug or anything I can't live like this."
"Diedre take a deep breath. In through your nose and hold and out through your mouth. Good now continue that please. I am not a gender specialist and your story seems to need the services of one who is. I want you to continue to do those exercises in this empty room ok." She even sits just like a girl poor thing. There is no boy there at all." I am just gonna make a few calls and see if we can get you some help ok?"
"Thank you doctor. I will try to calm down as best I can."
"That,s okay dear. Ill Just uses the medical information in your wallet to make those calls. Ill be right here on the other side of the door okay."
"Ill be good girl and try to not freak out anymore doctor. Just talking to you about what happened seems to have helped."
"That's what we are here for." I close the door on that attractive but still edgy girl and head to my desk with its phone. I look at the girls information for a phone number and dial it.
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Hall. This is Doctor Holmes at the womans crisis center on Broadway. I have your daughter Diedra here who is quite distraught that you will hate her. I am no gender specialist but I can assure you that the child you know as David is really Diedra and she really needs your help. Yes Yes I see How long do you think it will take you Mrs. Hall. Okay Ill try to keep her here and calm. Perhaps a more casual change of clothes would be a good idea. A nice summer dress maybe, as it seems she has a violent problem with male issue clothing. Yes I see, perhaps if you look for well hidden but used boxes in her room. Okay yes if you wish. Do you have a family doctor I should inform. Okay yes. Okay. got it. Ill give him a call as well as this one. Has happened in your husbands side before. No I don't think its genetic. Yes Yes Okay. An hour then my office is at 55 Broadway my number is 555-4325 extension 44. Thank you good bye."
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