Dear Santa.

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Dear Santa.

I have tried to be good. I have kept my room clean. Put away all my toys. Not gotten any holes in my clothes. I help mommy with my baby sister.

I always brush my teeth and wash behind my ears.

I eat those yucky green vegetables.

Your elfs have told you that Mommy and Daddy keep telling me I am a bad boy but I am not.

I try to spell my name but that say it is wrong. I try really hard to sit like they ask but it does not feel right.

I try extra hard to not cry like they say but I can't stop it.

I know the words pretty and cute should not be said but they come out of my mouth anyways.

I know I shouldn't cry because Mommy and Daddy make make me cut my hair but I feel awful when it is cut. It is ugly and I don't want it.

I know I should play with those boy toys like Daddy says I should. But I prefer to hug and talk to my dolly even if she looks like a boy.

I do not mean to disobey them when I wrap a towel around me to look like Mommy does when she wears a pretty dress.

I know I am being bad when they say I am a boy and not a girl and to stop all this girl stuff.

I know I am bad when it hurts so much and I cry myself to sleep.

So please Santa you can give all my toys to any other boy or girl.

Please take the bad out of me and make me a normal boy so Mommy and Daddy will love me.

Love Carrie.

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Comments

That is so sad

littlerocksilver's picture

From so many perspectives. A child is made to hate who she is. I'm sorry to say she may consider suicide her only option.

Girl.jpg
Portia

Portia

"make me a normal boy"

lost track of how many times I prayed something like that. Just wasnt meant to be, I guess.

Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels

DogSig.png

It doesn't always end...

Andrea Lena's picture

...there are days where I feel like this:

I know I am bad when it hurts so much and I cry myself to sleep.

Even now, real life demands and expectations and disappointments push me this way and that and I feel just like the child in this story. But most days I feel like I'm okay. Just okay...and sometimes more than okay.


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Impressive, tels

Just like a school boy would write to Santa.

Spot on.

And so sad.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

I hope that one day there

Gwendolyn's picture

I hope that one day there will be a group of trans girls who come across this letter in archives somewhere, and they do not understand it. I hope someday stories like this are simply an odd bit of history to girls who are loved for who they are.

Dear Santa.

Poor child.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I've been in her shoes.

I asked to be normal, too. I thought I was crazy, and as I grew older I learned I was perverted, too. You made me cry with the memory. Thank you! You reminded me that other children have felt the same way I did, and it still happens. Somehow, I want to help-time to do some research.

Wren

A Christmas Wish

Many of us can relate too, I know many times when I saw my sister get somethin girly for a present I wanted something even girlier! I too had a doll as a child I carried around hugging, it was my favorite toy back then my mom has many pictures of me happily clutching it, especially when I got it for Christmas!

Nikki Thong

"Be loving, forgiving, open, happy, sharing, thoughtful, musical, cry a little everyday, but for goodness sakes be honest with yourself!"
"Satin makes me sooooo happy! Giggles!"

Nikki Thong

"Be loving, forgiving, open, happy, sharing, thoughtful, musical, cry a little everyday, but for goodness sakes be honest with yourself!"
"Satin makes me sooooo happy! Giggles!"

cries.

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

My heart just breakers for her. All she really wants is to be her self and to be loved.
Such a simple wish yet sometimes so hard to come by.

-

I wonder how many such letters have been written and lost never to be read, too many far too many I would say.

-

Dear Santa,
If your out there somewhere..........