You want olives with that?
by Donna Lamb
"It's supposed to be three wishes," said Tom.
"One wish," the naked djinni insisted. He'd come out of the bottle they'd found nude, except for a sort of jacket and some jewelry, and the three friends tried very hard to ignore the massive evidence of the mystical being's masculinity.
"Now I know why in movies, genies are usually wearing pants or smoke from the waist down," Harry said in an aside to his buddies. "How come in all the stories it's three wishes?" he asked.
"Yeah, and there are three of us, we should each get a wish," said Dick.
"One wish," repeated the man-like creature. "There's only one of me and there's only one wish. And you all three must agree on the wish since you are each separately and together responsible for releasing me from my prison."
"Crap," said Tom.
"Hey, one third of a wish is better than none," said Harry.
"Right," said Dick. "And maybe we can phrase the wish so we each get what we want."
"Hmm," said Tom. One effect of the djinni's nakedness was that they were all thinking of sex now.
"I want a smart, beautiful woman who loves me and loves to make love and is rich enough that neither of us has to work for a living if we don't want to," said Harry.
"Wait, you didn't include that you're together and can stay that way," said Dick.
"Yeah, and make sure you're both healthy and will live a long time together," said Tom. "And heck, why settle for just one woman? Wish for two who are best friends and love each other as much as they love you."
"Yow, hot," said Harry, waggling a hand as if burned.
"That sounds like a really good wish," said Dick. "Let's see if we can make it better. Does everyone want a version of this wish?"
"Can't think of anything better, the genie said we can't make a Miss-America-style World Peace wish, it has to be something for ourselves," said Tom.
"Okay, okay, so how about we phrase it like this...." Harry began.
They worked on the wish for several hours, phrasing it carefully, trying to get as much out of it as they could. The djinni had warned them that a short wish was better than a long wish because it had less that could go wrong.
The djinni watched and listened, showing no emotion at all. They asked him a few questions and sometimes he answered them and sometimes he didn't.
Finally, Tom told him the version of the wish they had worked out without formally making the wish. "What do you think?"
"I think," said the djinni, "that that may be the wisest wish I have ever been asked to grant. You have only left out asking for happiness, and that is not always wise."
"We figured," said Harry.
"So gentlemen, is that your wish?"
"Yes, it is," said Dick.
"Then repeat it, each of you say part of it separately, then together swear that the whole thing is your wish."
Tom began, "We wish, each separately and together, that each of us had two beautiful, rich, healthy women companions who loved us and loved each other and loved sex with both men and women...."
Later, Mr. D.J. Martini smiled to himself as he rode the elevator up to his penthouse suite where Tammie, Haylie and Connie, his three rich, healthy, beautiful companions who loved one another and loved sex waited for him. He decided he'd been really smart to save the other two wishes for himself. "Now what to do with the last wish?" he wondered.
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