Janie Lewis and I were the best of friends ever since the first day of Preschool and we did everything together. So many times we would hear people say "Those two are almost like conjoined twins" It seemed like it too. Our mothers would have to promise that we would get to go to each others houses the next day to ever get us to go home. I would play with her toys when I was at her house and she played with mine when she was at mine. I always wondered why my toys weren't the same things Janie had, but I was afraid to ask.

My father was an iron worker by trade and very well built. He carried himself with a no nonsense attitude and stayed gone for long periods of time working wherever his job might take him. He never seemed to have much time to spend with me, but he made his displeasure known about me not being interested in traditional boy pursuits. One thing he didn't do was abuse me for my failures as a boy. He and Mom had both come from homes where the rod was not spared very much at all. My grandfather had been an Irish immigrant who came to America with nothing but dreams. He was a strict Catholic and married an equally Irish/ Catholic girl in my grandmother. My dad was the second of ten children growing up in a New York City slum. As the burden of providing for his family increased, he turned to Boxing to make extra cash. He was pretty good at it at first, but as the stakes got higher he started losing. With every loss, he drank more and when he drank he got mean and took it out on his kids and his wife. My dad huddled in fear every time he stormed into the house after a night at the pub. He made a promise that he would never put his children through what he went through. He has never broken that promise. Mom came up through much the same situation except it was my grandmother who couldn't stay away from the bottle. She battled depression all of her life and even admitted to my mother that she wished she had been born a man, but back then, there wasn't much known about Gender Identity issues. Being a strict Catholic , she was expected to do what society dictated. She married and had two kids before my grandfather shipped off to Vietnam with the 7th Cavalry. He was killed in the first battle with Vietnamese regulars in the Ladrang Valley. Later the story of the battle would be featured in the movie "We Were Soldiers". After he was killed, my grandmother fell apart. She had little patience and coping skills and her temper would lash out at Mom and my uncle Donnie. Somehow, she talked her way out of trouble with Social Services, but my mother made the same promise my dad did about any future children.

The years flew by as they often do and all through them Janie and I would remain inseparable. One day, in our sixteenth year, my world came crashing down. Janie's dad got transferred clear across the country to San Diego. We were inconsolable. Our parents made promises about each of us going to visit each other in the Summer. It wasn't the same and we knew it. The last day we spent together was all about making promises to keep in touch, but we doubted our parents would follow through with their commitment to let us visit. Life sucked!

"It will be okay Alan. Our parents know we are best friends and they would never break their promise to us" Janie said softly

"I know, but it won't be the same without you" I tearfully replied. I leaned over and hugged her tight and then she turned to leave.

"This isn't goodbye. It's until we meet again" She insisted.

"Until we meet again" I repeated. And we thought that would be soon. We were wrong!

"Mom? Can I see Janie this Summer like you promised?

"I don't think she's going to be there this Summer. Her mother told me that she was going to some camp up in Oregon until just before school starts" Mom explained.

I had come in from school and looked forward to the possibility of seeing her and catching up, but my hopes were dashed in that moment. I went to check my email hoping to get something from her, but there was nothing. We were supposed to be friends, but she never mentioned anything about going to any camp for the Summer. I guess she didn't want to disappoint me. I went to my closet and changed out of my school clothes and emerged as Alaina a few minutes later.

"Hey sweetie. I'm sorry that you're disappointed about this Summer, but we'll do something special to make up for it I promise" Mom assured me.

"You and her parents promised us that we could see each other in the Summer and you lied to us" I screamed, tears streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry, but that's life! Your father said we couldn't afford it anyway.We told you that because we knew there would be no way to get you to separate without as much stress and anxiety"

"So you never meant anything you said at all? I hate you both! I ran from the kitchen and stormed up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door and locked it. I fell to my pillow sobbing" Mom came up later and asked me if I was okay, but I told her to go away.

I cried myself to sleep and woke up the next morning to pancakes cooking. I guess Mom was trying to assuage her guilt and fixed my favorite breakfast to make up for it. I got up and wandered downstairs in my nightgown and robe. I lived as Alaina almost 24/7 as long as Dad was gone. Alan was just the pretend persona I put up for Dad when he was home.

" Good morning Honey" I'm sorry about last night, but there wasn't anything I could do about decisions made by Janie's parents" She tried to explain.

"I just wish people would learn to keep promises. I would never lie to someone about that and then renege on it. You and Daddy always preached the importance of honoring your word, but you just came off looking like hypocrites. I guess I won't count on anything you say from now on" I told her.

Mom left the kitchen to go call Daddy on the phone in her bedroom. He was off on a job somewhere in Louisiana. She was gone for almost an hour and then she came back.

"I talked to your daddy and we agreed that it was time you knew the whole truth" She replied. We were hoping that things would somehow work out, but it is time we told you the real reason why you can't visit Janie"

"What is it Mom? I asked

"Janie's father is a bigot and hates anything that doesn't fit into his neat little box. He disagreed with how we raised you and there was a huge argument about your feminine nature one day while you and Janie were at Swim practice. He insisted we take steps to beat it out of you and we absolutely refused. You know how we both feel about that. He stormed out and put in a request the next day for a transfer. Her mother never said much out of fear I suppose. Janie wasn't told the real reason. They just let her think that the transfer was a normal thing that happens in a job" Mom explained.

"So I drove my best friend away because I want to be a girl? I sobbed." I guess I really am a freak!

"No you aren't. It's his problem not yours" She insisted. I wasn't buying it though. I knew she would still be here if it wasn't for me.

I ran back up to my room and found a stash of sleeping pills in the medicine cabinet. I hastily composed a note apologizing to my mother for any pain I might cause her. I went to my computer and drafted an email to Janie and told her what was really happening. I apologized to her for being a freak and went to my dresser for my silk nightgown. I took almost a whole bottle and laid down on my bed. Shortly everything went black.

Janie

I got home from school after just half a day and looked forward to telling Alan I was going to see him this Summer. Mom had other ideas.

"Hello Sweetie. How was school? Mom asked

"It was okay I guess? I had a test in Math that was pretty hard, but I think I did okay on it. I just miss Alan a lot. I'm looking forward to seeing him this Summer' I replied.

"About that Honey, Mom hesitated "I signed you up for a wonderful camp up in Oregon. I thought it would be a wonderful idea to help you make new friends"

"You promised I would get to see him in the Summer. You and Daddy lied to me! I sobbed.

I ran to my room and slammed my door. I went to my computer and booted it up. After I got it up. I scanned through my email and my blood ran cold. It was from Alan. He explained what my parents had done and apologized for being such a freak. He was saying goodbye. I ran from the room and grabbed the phone. My fingers shook as I dialed the number. I got his mother on the second ring.

"How are you Janie. This is certainly a surprise" She exclaimed.

" Go to Alan's room now! I screamed. He's committing suicide"

She jumped up and ran down the hall to his room. The door was locked, but she found the pick to unlock it. Alan was lying on the bed with the note nearby. She grabbed her cellphone and dialed 911. She relayed the information and the broke down sobbing into the phone. I stayed with her until I heard sirens in the background. They arrived and began working on Alan.

"I'm heading to the hospital now. I will talk to you as soon as I can. Words can't begin to express my gratitude for your quick thinking" She told me.

I got off the phone and ran to confront my mother. I had the email in my hand and her face went ashen as she realized what it said.

"Care to explain yourself Mother! I hissed vehemently.

"It was your father's idea" She insisted. She told me the whole story about confronting Alan's parents. I was absolutely pissed! Daddy dearest would get more than an earful when he got home!

"I'm sorry we lied to you, but your father thought you shouldn't know because he knew how you felt and he didn't want to deal with you" She explained.

"He's gonna know the fury of a very pissed off daughter when I get through with him" I fumed.

"I know it is high time I stand up to him, but I was scared. You know what he's like" She agreed.

When Daddy dearest hit the door that night he felt the full fury of Hurricane Janie.

"You bastard! I screamed. I found out what your transfer was all about. You thought I wouldn't and shouldn't find out"

"I didn't want my daughter around a freak. I was only trying to protect you" He pleaded.

"Alan tried to kill himself today because he found out the real reason we moved. Luckily they saved him in time. You are a bigoted piece of garbage and I'm filing for divorce as soon as I can" Mom insisted. I should have done it long before we left New York. Janie and I have airline reservations going out tonight. We will be packed and out of here in an hour. We will be staying with my mother until we can find a place to live back there. I would advise you to be gone when we get back" Mom growled.

"You aren't going anywhere! He stormed.

He grabbed Mom by the arm and proceeded to slam her into the wall. I came up with a well placed knee in the groin. He crumbled to his knees and let go of her.

"Those self defense courses I have been taking at the Y came in handy. I grinned evilly.

I picked up the phone and dialed 911. I told them what was going on and they sent a unit out in a hurry. Daddy was in handcuffs and being manhandled out the door. The admonition to remain silent must not have really phased him because he went off on the officers until they tased him. He had a laundry list of charges added by the time he was finally taken away to jail.

Mom and I left the house when the taxi got there. Our flight left out on time and we got into Kennedy at 9PM local time. My grandpa picked us up and we went on to their house.

Alaina

I woke up in a stark white hospital room with a lot of monitors and I.V's attached to me. I looked around and thought I was dreaming! There beside my bed was Janie. She had come all the way to see me. Mom and Janie's mother were on the opposite side.

"Janie? How did you get here? I asked her.

"Told you we would meet again She smiled. "Mom and I flew in last night as soon as we could. We are back here for good. Mom is filing for divorce. Daddy has his hands full with a stack of charges on him for what he did before and after they arrested him anyway. Your mom told me you go by Alaina now. I always knew you were a girl. I also need to tell you something. All these years we have known each other we have been the best of friends. Somewhere in there my feelings deepened, but I was afraid to tell you because I didn't know if you felt the same. When I found your email, I prayed I would get the chance to tell you that I love you with all my heart Alaina Marie O'Neill" Janie said.

"I love you too Janie. I always have. I wanted to tell you before you left, but I was afraid like you were that you didn't feel the same. I have changed a lot in the last year and I have been going to counseling and been on hormones. Mom told me that Daddy knows and still loves me no matter what. He sent the Roses there behind you and he will be coming here in a bit. I explained.

"I'm glad you are okay" Janie's mother, Sue, stated. I would never forgive myself if we lost you. I'm sorry I allowed my bigoted soon- to-be ex husband to force us to leave"

"I'm just glad you're back" I said. " I love your daughter with all my heart and if there is a way we can be married I want her in my life forever"

"I know you do and I love you too" She said. "You will be good to my daughter"

"Hey, teased Janie. "I'm still here in the same room you know, and yes I will marry you Alaina!

We kissed and hugged each other secure in the knowledge that our love was mutual. I stayed in the hospital for another two day and then I got out. It was so wonderful to know that I had the love of my life back.The next few days were pretty busy. Janie and Sue found a house a couple doors down from us and made arrangements to have all their belongings moved out from San Diego. Charles was still locked up because he refused to cooperate with jail officials when they ordered him to do something. I guess the jerk has a really serious problem with authority. Meanwhile, Janie and I made plans for the Summer we thought we wouldn't have.

"Wanna go to Coney Island for the day? I asked Janie.

"That sounds like a cool idea!. "I'm dying to get you in a Bikini and showing off that hot body" She teased.

"Honey, I don't think I'm ready for that quite yet" I replied hesitantly.

"What's the matter? Chicken? Janie then start clucking.

"Oh Alright! You're lucky I love you so much" I relented. "I still don't know if I can hide a certain unwanted appendage. I'll be so glad when it's finally gone for good"

"I know you are counting down the days until next Summer when you can finally have your SRS over and done with" Janie agreed.

" Some days I wish it would get here sooner, but I guess Dr. Kenton is a by the books therapist and is adamant about me waiting until I'm officially 18. I replied irritatedly.

"It is a good thing we are both switching to an all girls school for next year. I don't imagine Scott Wilson and his gang would be very open to your new self" She added.

"Yeah, Scott has given me enough of a hard time since we were in Elementary school" I agreed.

"I think you will be really cute in a school girl uniform " Janie winked.

"You will be cute in yours too. We will both be pretty hot when we walk through the doors of the school" I added with a giggle.

We came together in a smoldering kiss and held each other for a long time. I couldn't believe how lucky I am to have my best friend as the love of my life.

"I love you so much! Janie said softly.

" I love you too" I murmured.

Over the next year, our love continued to grow stronger if that was even possible. We both wound up being Co- Valedictorians of our class and each delivered a speech at graduation.We formally gave each other Engagement rings for graduation and we wore them proudly that day. We left for Colorado the next day for my appointment with Dr. Marcie's scalpel. It was painful, but I would do it all over again to finally feel complete. Janie's father tried to drag his feet on the divorce, but he couldn't stop a very determined ex wife and the Judge finally made the wheels move much faster.

Epilogue:

Janie and I were married during our sophomore year of college. We both went to UMASS and majored in Psychology. I had froze my sperm before the hormones took effect and we are hoping to start a family soon. Daddy walked me down the aisle and promised me that he is going to be around more. He took a management job that mostly involves paperwork, but he says he was getting too old for climbing steel frame anyway. Mom definitely likes him home more. Anyway, Sue took Charles to the cleaners in the divorce and he was given a two year jail sentence because he wouldn't shut up when the judge told him the facts of life. He later fled to South America where the DEA nailed him for Cocaine smuggling in Colombia. Hope he likes those Colombian jails. Janie and I grow more in love everyday and we are so happy together.