The Screw Up

The Screw Up
by Angel O’Hare

© 02-06-2007


Ever since I turned 8-years-old, my summers have been spent at various summer camps. Each one lasted all summer, and each one I have never returned. Why you ask? That’s not a simple question to answer though it is a simple enough question to ask. I’ll give a shot though, but I know you’ll laugh.

Um, I’m small and I’m very cute. Those are the two biggest problems I have. At eight, when this first started things weren’t all that bad. I mean, well, being with a bunch of eight-year-old boys can’t be too bad right. WRONG! It is when you look like you’re only four, add being smaller than everyone else, and being ‘cuter’ than everyone else! The teasing starts as soon as the bus leaves the parking lot where my mom and everyone else’s parents are waving goodbye.

It usually starts with the kids asking me why a baby girl is going to their camp. At first I tried explaining that I’m not a girl, and I’m eight-years-old. That doesn’t work, it didn’t back then, and it still hasn’t each and every summer since then. It doesn’t help when you have a “Hello My Name is KIMMIE” sticker stuck on your chest. Yeah, the parents were instructed to write our nicknames on the stickers. Mom, being mom, didn’t think things out to well and wrote KIMMIE on mine. Try and tell kids with names like Bobby, Doug, Butch, Sam, and Leroy, that Kim is actually a boy’s name. That doesn’t work either.

It doesn’t help when the nurse for the camp is our chaperone on the bus and has you sit with her. Especially when she rescues you before things start to get physical by saying.

“You’d better sit with me Pumpkin.”

OH GEEZE, and then the fun will really begin once we get to the camp. You see, I have a growth problem, something to do with endocrinology, that’s all I know. I age one year, for every two years I live. You figure it out! I’m eight-years-old and look as if I’m four! Anyway, it took my mom a lot to get me into this camp. All sorts of paperwork and a special doctors note. Of course, then there is the money involved, most of the kids stay for a four-week session. I stay all summer!

That’s twelve-weeks or three session’s worth. That’s how I really got in, the money the camp makes off of me being there.

Okay, so we arrive and I’m immediately singled out as the ‘special’ kid by the adults, and the ‘little sissy’ by the other kids. The cabin I’m assigned to is quickly changed after my first ‘Nightmare of a night’ to staying in the medical cabin where the nurse can watch over me. It soon becomes apparent that I need to stick close to one of the staff at all times. That is, after I have to return to the medical cabin because I’ve just been stomped on by the ruling class of kids at this camp.

Twelve weeks of being treated like some kind of freak by one and all. The women treat me like a toddler and talk to me that way. The men and boys treat me as if I have an incurable disease or something similar. After the first week, I spend all my time with the women doing what they happen to be in charge of. Yeah, like the well-attended dance instruction sessions. Maybe three boys show up when it rains! On the other hand, try the ever-popular arts and crafts sessions. Once again maybe six kids show up when it rains. I got to make a lot of stuff for my mom! Oh yeah, I made myself a wallet, but my pockets are too small for it to fit in them. Pants for a kid the size of a four-year-old aren’t that big you know.

Okay, one that I did like was swimming, but I was never allowed to really swim as the other boys got to swim. No lake swimming for me, just the pool, where the woman instructor taught swimming and diving. The lake was overseen by a man, and he wasn’t having a little sissy swimming with his boys! At least I learned how to swim well and to learn some great dives! Having one on one attention with a great instructor can do that for you. Therefore, I learned to dance, do arts and crafts, and do a lot of swimming and diving. Oh yeah, having a bed in the medical cabin, with the nurse living in a small apartment attached to it, leads to some wonderful experiences. I’m not even going to get into those!

When I was nine, it was a different camp, but the same results. When I was ten and then eleven, different camps, but the same results each and every time.

Now I’m standing in another parking lot with my mom. I’m twelve now, and mom has promised me this camp is going to be great for me. She said.

“Kimmie, this time I did everything possible to make your summer the best it can be. I’ve planned everything out and went over every detail twice. I got all the forms in ahead of time, included a picture, and everything is all set. This camp provides you with everything you need and that’s why all you need to bring with you is the clothes you are wearing and your book. I even wrote your nickname as KC as you asked me too. Oh, and the great thing about this camp is its co-ed! Of course, the girls stay at one side of the camp and the boys the other, but you do participate in most of the activities together. The letter I received back stated they were very impressed with your knowledge from your experiences at the other camps. They even wrote that they could understand why you had such problems at the other camps and promised that those things would never happen at this one.”

All this was said to me just last night. I have my doubts, but I have no choice either. As part of my mom’s job, she has to travel overseas each summer. That’s why I go to camp. It’s either that or I stay with my grandmother and I don’t even want to go into what that would mean! Let me say that staying in a pup tent during a tornado would be better than that scenario.



Here we are and there are tons of people here. I would say about sixty kids and their parents. Three buses pull up and a big Hummer SUV. These are nice busses too, not the big yellow school busses, but the ones you see carrying people across the country. They even have a bathroom in these buses.

Of course, they show up an hour and a half late! Mom has to leave and she has a quick chat with an older woman that came out of the Hummer. I get my kiss and my hug as my mom leaves me to await my summer fate all alone. They call for the boys to gather at one part of the parking lot, and the girls at another spot. I see the split is about 50-50. I go to join the boys group and that is where my problems begin, and with no mother to help me. They have my grandmother’s name, address, and phone number in case of an emergency. There can’t be an emergency as bad as that! I just want to add a line to that emergency info card that states. “Only in the case of my death will you notify…” Yeah, she’s that bad, but for the summer, she is my legal guardian!

Anyway, I go to join the boys group and some of the older boys (the camp takes kids up to the age of 16) keep trying to send me over to the girl’s part of the parking lot. To keep out of trouble and from being shoved around anymore I stand to the side and away from the boys group. I hear names being called from both the boys and girls sections. Then I hear…

“Kimberly Caitlyn Amy!”

OH NO, this can’t be happening! They called again and this time they hollered out, “KC AMY!”

Two things are wrong about this. One, they are calling my name out from the girls section. Two, how did they come up with Kimberly from Kim or KC?

I walk over while all the boys are snickering and saying things like.

“That little girl wanted to ride with us?” … “Little baby girls can’t ride with the boys chickadee!”

I just want to shrivel up and disappear! I hear them call my name out as “KC Amy” again and I holler and run over to the woman yelling my name out. She looks at me, shakes her head, and asks.

“Kimmie, you’re twelve-years-old?” OH GEEZE, not this crap again, so much for mom having checked everything twice.

I say.

“My name is Kim Caitlyn Amy, and yes I’m twelve-years-old, but there’s been a mistake.”

Ms Katherine Ringwood says.

“Look little princess, I’ve been working at this camp for over 20 years and have seen it all and heard it all. You don’t look twelve to me, you look more like five, or six, but you’ll have to at least ride with the twelve-year-old girls group to camp until we sort this out. Now go with Lucy and she’ll get you on board.”

This sixteen-year-old girl takes my hand and leads me to the bus as I say.

“Look Lucy, I’m a boy and there’s been a big mistake.”

She laughs and just keeps leading me to the bus. I find myself surrounded by two girls bigger than me. Well, that isn’t a big thing; everyone is bigger than I am! Lucy tells them I’m trying to pull a fast one on them, and the girls make sure I’m sat in the middle of them. There’s no way I’m getting out of this seat until we reach the camp.

Ms Ringwood gets on the bus and it starts rolling once she has made a head count, and she has smiled at me and made sure I wasn’t going anywhere.

I try and tell the girls next to me what had happened, but they think it’s all a joke and giggle like crazy. About a half hour into the trip, some of the girls start passing out drinks. I get a squeeze bottle of cherry juice. One-hundred% fruit juice it says. I drink it, and a few minutes later one of the girls sitting next to me, Kathy says.

“I love your lipstick Kimberly, nice shade of pink.” She giggles; I groan thinking that, yeah, cherry juice, my lips must look great!

There is a lot of singing and chatting going on. I learn a few things. Unlike the other camps I attended, this one requires all the kids to sign up for the entire summer. It also seems that most of the kids have been attending this camp from their earliest opportunity and that’s ten-years-old. Most of these girls have already spent two summers at the camp. I’m a newbie, and what they won’t believe yet, is I’m also a boy! When they find that out, this will be over soon enough.

I have to take a wee thirty minutes after the juice. I tell the girls to let me out so I can go. They signal Ms Ringwood and she takes me to the bathroom. I have to wait until the three girls already waiting go, and I almost don’t make it, GEEZE! I mean that was close! I was doing the pee-pee dance and everything. The girls loved that and the giggles erupted.

I have to sit, the bus wiggles too much to stand, and the seat was a little to high for me to stand and pee anyway. I hear a knock on the door and then the door just opens! In walks Ms Ringwood and she’s holding a bag and pulls out a pull-up! She says.

“Kimberly, several of the girls are already wearing these as a precaution. I noticed a nice big wet spot on your shorts as you opened the door. Now be a good girl and step into these and I have another pair of shorts for you to wear.”

I said.

“Ms Ringwood, get ready for a surprise.” She gives me a funny look and I scoot off of the toilet and stand.

She’s surprised, but only for a second as she says.

“We’ve had little girls with your condition before Kimberly. It’s just a minor medical condition that will be fixed when you are older, now step into the pull-up princess.”

I can’t believe this! I show her I’m a boy in a way that there is no doubt, and she dismisses it as a minor medical condition! What did she mean by they’ve had little girls with this condition before? What kind of camp is this anyway?

Of course, the pull-ups have to be the real girly kind. The ink they are printed with is supposed to disappear when it gets wet, but this pull-up has pink lace designs printed all over it, GEEZE! Once she removes my supposedly too wet shorts and boy’s underpants, I have to step into the pull-up. Once that’s in place, she shows me the shorts I’m supposed to wear. Thin, short-shorts, white ones. They are made of a stretchy material and once they are on me, I want to die! Not only are they thin, they are sheer and you can see the pink lace design on the pull-up clearly. Not only that, but they fit so snug; you can tell I’m obviously wearing a thick pull-up. Something didn’t sound right; I heard a crinkle type sound as she pulled them up my legs. OH FOR Pete’s SAKE, these are lined with clear vinyl! I’m wearing baby diaper pants! I mean, shorts don’t fit like underwear, and these fit just like underwear! No cuffs on the legs or anything, no fly, no buttons. I start to protest and she chuckles and pulls out a stupid slip on, pink skirt with an elastic waist from her bag. I’m stuck now; here I am wearing a girly pull-up, covered by baby diaper pants, and those covered by a pink little girl’s skirt, GEEZE! This skirt fits snug thanks to the thick pull-up and I’m sure it shows, at least it’s long enough to cover everything.

I’m taken by my hand and led back to my seat by Ms Ringwood. As we walk between the rows of girl’s I hear them say.

“She’s a little cutie, but why is a little girl like that, going to our camp? Don’t you have to be at least ten?” I just groan, roll my eyes, and keep walking.

Ms Ringwood has me sit between the two girls again. Kathy and the other one (Bertha) are given a bag by Ms Ringwood and told to pretty me up. I have to sit there and endure two giggling girls, combing and then braiding my hair at the sides into two braided ponytails, they tie pink ribbons too! I don’t look like a twelve-year-old boy at all now. I bet I look like a five-year-old little girl! Lucy makes Bertha change seats with her and Lucy has a bag of her own. This is going to be a LONG bus trip for me!

I’m now being held on Kathy’s lap as Lucy is doing things to me. I have to endure my eyebrows being plucked, because Kathy is holding me still and Lucy has threatened me with removing all of my eyebrows if I don’t stop moving my head back and forth. OUCH, that hurts, GEEZE! She then uses this torture device she says curls my eyelashes and then paints them with this little curved brush thingy. Some clear liquid she says will plump them up and make them look thicker and longer. I tell her my eyelashes are long enough and all she says is.

“I know Kimberly you have lashes to die for! Now they are unbelievably long and very pretty.”

Sure enough, I can see them easily and I just groan. I guess I’m the current project as more girls get in that act. I have to endure other things as they get passed to Lucy to use on me. My lips are painted with this clear liquid, they start to tingle, and I feel them getting puffy! Lucy uses this little brush to paint them with this pink stuff. When that is on long enough, she paints them with this other clear stuff and now my lips feel like they are made of rubber! She tells me they are a shiny wet pink now, GEEZE! To add insult to injury, I’m informed all this stuff is waterproof and long lasting make-up. It should last for a few days before it needs any touch up. Oh, that’s not all either! I hear one of the girls say as she hands Lucy the bottle of stuff that made my lips tingle.

“Hey, she wants to be twelve, let’s do her nipples with this stuff!” This section of the bus goes crazy!

Kathy holds me tight as Lucy lifts up me favorite blue t-shirt and then paints my nipples with this stuff, OH GAWD THAT TINGLES! I even feel them swelling up; they are now still puffing up and are getting puffier than my lips are! I’ll have puffy nipples for a few days and they are already driving me crazy! She had painted just around my nipples as well; right on, my skin and I think I’m having some kind of allergic reaction! My nipples and chest where she painted the stuff on are swelling up past the point of being comfortable. Lucy and the girls are giggling as she pulls my shirt back down. I now have two obvious little bumps under my shirt, and they are driving me crazy!

Kathy tells me.

“When we get to camp and you’re assigned a cabin, just put on one of your bras. That will stop them from tingling or getting sore. They did this to me two-years-ago. I had to go to the nurse’s office so she could clean that stuff off. For some reason it works real well on nipples. My chest never did get any smaller after that day. My nipples stayed that big all summer and then puberty struck and they grew more, but my nipples stayed puffy and are still like that.”

She lifts up her shirt and bra to show me. Sure enough, she has nice small breast, but her nipples are big and puffy. I just groan and roll my eyes. What am I going to do now? Just what I need, puffy nipples, too add to my already girlish looks, GEEZE!

I ask Kathy.

“Um Kathy, what do you mean when we get to camp I can put on one of my bras? I mean like, I don’t have any bras.”

She says.

“Oh sure you do Kimberly, Camp Mari-Mack provides all our clothes and everything else we need. That’s part of why it’s so expensive to go to this camp and why we stay all summer. You’ll be given everything you need. They get our measurements from our parents, and they purchase everything we need and it’s waiting for us when we get to camp. Mrs. Lawrence comes by a few days from now and makes sure everything fits great. Our dresses get marked for altering so they fit better. She has them all done by Saturday, That’s so we all look good going into town for church services and the church social afterwards. We even split up into small groups and visit a few nursing homes. The old people love to have us visit them.”

This is getting worse the more I listen. I find out that the camp has a doctor and two nurses on duty at all times. A registered, licensed, dietician sets our individual diets, vitamins, health shakes, snacks, and all the rest. Now the girls are chatting about what their favorite activities and classes are. Classes, we have to take classes! I hear all about the on site hair and beauty salon. The dance studio, the mini-theatre group, the choral group, the mini-movie theatre, the Olympic sized swimming pool and the swimming meets we have with the towns swim team. Once each month on Saturdays, we have the town’s dances we all have attend. This is going to be a nightmare unless I can get to the boys side of the camp and soon! I tune them out and start to read my book. We get handed a box lunch and another bottle of juice. I get apple juice this time. I’m not that hungry, but I eat the ham and cheese sandwich and drink the juice. I give Bertha, who has now returned my fudge brownie. I get a kiss and a hug for that, GEEZE!

We’re almost to the camp I’m told it’s just a half hour more on the road until we get there. I still have to wee again, so Ms Ringwood takes my hand and we wait in line. Five girls ahead of me and I had forgotten about the waiting. I’ll never last long enough. Ms Ringwood has her big shoulder bag with her again. I have to wet the pull up after just three girls go in and come back out. Ms Ringwood has noticed, and tells me not to worry about it. Finally, we get in the bathroom and she pulls my skirt, baby diaper pants and the now sopping wet pull up down. I’m glad I was wearing those baby diaper pants now! I would have soaked everything! She tears away the wet pull up and washes me down there with baby wipes. GEEZE! they are cold! Then she tells me.

“Kimberly, I’m afraid the pull-up won’t be good enough for your heavy wettings.”

She pulls out of her bag a disposable diaper and a pull-up! She slices holes in the diaper down the middle of it, sprinkles baby powder inside of it, and tapes it around me snuggly. My skirt is pulled up and over it, I have to hold it above my waist. I have to step out of the baby diaper pants because they got a bit wet from the leaking pull-up. I then am made to step into another pull-up and then she puts a clean pair of those baby pants on me, GEEZE!

She says, “Okay Kimberly, you’re all set now and you won’t leak when you go pee-pee again. The diaper holds a lot more than the pull up, and the pull-up adds just that much more absorbency to make sure your clothes stay nice and dry. Once we get you settled into your cabin, I’ll take you over to see the doctor and we’ll get you all set with what you need for nighttime.”

I’m a little confused and say.

“Um, Ms Ringwood, I don’t wet the bed or anything. It’s just that I waited to long to get in line to use the bathroom. I didn’t think it would take so long, and so many girls would be ahead of me. The other camps busses used to stop if you had to wee.”

“Oh Princess, its okay Sweetheart, we have more than a few of the girls with this problem. We’ll let the doctor make that decision okay?”

“Um, okay Ms Ringwood, but this is embarrassing and everyone is going to know I’m diapered now. These things are going to really show under this skirt. The pull up showed and now things are more than twice as thick.”

She chuckled and said.

“Honey, you’re a very pretty girl and you look so cute. The girls are going to love you diapers and all. No one will tease or make fun of you Princess. I bet you get adopted by the older girls straight away. They just love a little cutie-pie like you.”

OH GEEZE, I bet they do, just wait until they notice my extra equipment, we’ll really get to see how they like me then! I just groan and roll my eyes. Ms Ringwood just laughs and leads me out and back to my seat. I do hear the girls all going crazy over me as one of them says.

“Oh she has to stay with us, what a little darling! Look at that waddle! She’s just so cute! We’ll talk to Mrs. Sanford as soon as we get to camp.”

That was a girl sitting next to Lucy. I know this is going to be a very long summer if things don’t get straightened out soon. Kathy tells me that Mrs. Sanford owns the camp. She was that older woman that drove the Hummer. She’s about my grandmother’s age. Old, around sixty I would say!

I feel very self conscious, the diaper and pull-up, plus the baby diaper pants make this skirt shorter, I can’t close my legs and everyone that wants to look can clearly see I’m diapered even when I’m sitting down. All I hear from others is how cute and adorable I am, GEEZE! That, and the stupid pink lacey print shows through the baby diaper pants I’m wearing. I feel miserable. Kathy and Bertha try and cheer me up, but it isn’t working. I just say.

“Look, you two can be happy, you’re not wearing a diaper and baby diaper pants that everyone can obviously see! I’m twelve-years-old for crying out loud. It’s bad enough looking like I do, but now this! I look like a living baby doll ready for everyone else to play with. Um, just leave me alone okay. I just want to disappear off the face of the earth.”

I go back to reading my book. I’m not reading, I can’t I’m to upset to read. I feel the tears start to fall. I HATE MYSELF, GEEZE! I see Bertha get up and go talk to Ms. Ringwood. The next thing I know is I’m being held by Mrs. Ringwood as if I’m just a baby. She hugs me to her and starts whispering to me that everything is going to be all right. She is a big woman, stands about six feet two, and probably weighs like two-hundred-pounds of muscle. She carries me easily and sits down with me still hugging me to her.

My chest hurts and still tingles. I keep trying to push against Ms Ringwood so they aren’t touching her. She keeps holding me tightly and all I can do is whimper. She’s rubbing my back, that’s comforting, but it makes my nipples tingle and hurt even more. I say.

“Ms Ringwood, my chest hurts.”

She sits me back, lifts up my shirt, and lets out a short gasp of surprise. The next thing I know is I have my shirt removed and she is opening a big first aide kit. My nipples are swollen all right, GEEZE! I have very pointy and hard nipples now. They are red not pink and they really stick out! Ms Ringwood smears some cream on them and they immediately start to feel better. I let out a big sigh and she smiles. She puts a pad on each one and then helps me put my shirt back on. I sure do look like I have boobies now!

How will I ever be able to go to the boy’s side of the camp looking like this? I know I won’t, and that makes me feel helpless and alone. I’m snuggled against Ms Ringwood my head buried in her neck while she’s rubbing my back. The bus slows; I hear a cheer go up in the bus. I look out the window, and watch as we pull in and the boy’s busses keeps going bye. They got two busses because the boys had brought a bunch of stuff with them, mostly sporting equipment, but enough of it to need another bus. The bus stops and the doors open.

There are five women waiting, three have clipboards and start calling out names. Ms Ringwood carries me over to whom I now know as Mrs. Sanford. The woman next to her is the doctor, she takes a peak at my chest, and we four go into the infirmary. Well, that’s what the doctor called it anyway.

I’m soon sitting there in just the diaper, covered by the pull-up and the baby diaper pants. Soon those are removed and I’m naked in front of these three women. My life is getting worse all the time. At least a nurse walks in and covers me with a sheet. I thank her; the others just smile at me. Mrs. Sanford uses her cell phone and calls someone. I can’t hear what she’s saying. The doctor gets my file and Ms Ringwood leaves, giving me a hug and a kiss before she goes telling me everything will be okay.

A nurse comes in and introduces herself to me as Cindy. I tell her my name is ‘KC’, she smiles and calls me KC. I like her already. She washes me up, gives me a complete bed bath as she chats non-stop about all sorts of stuff. I whimper a bit as she washes my chest. She says.

“We’re going to make you feel much better KC. By the time we’re through, you’ll feel much better about staying here and being one of the girls.”

“Um, Nurse Cindy, I’m a boy, can’t you tell?” I thought that was funny, since when she said that she was washing my thingy. I giggled, and then she giggled and then said.

“KC, we are going to make this tiny abnormality vanish Sweetheart. You’re grandmother is talking to Mrs. Sanford and the doctor right now. We have all your pertinent medical history, and soon, this little thing will just be a memory.”

“Um, you’re not going to cut it off are you?”

She giggles and says.

“No, no, Sweetheart, we’re just going to tuck it away and hide it. By the time the doctor is through though, you’ll look like all the other little girls here. I think you’re the prettiest of them all though.”

I blushed I couldn’t help it! I then realize I’m stuck here as a girl for the entire summer. I also worry about what grandmother is telling them. You see, we don’t get along to well because she always treats me like a little girl. She insists I’m supposed to be a girl and whenever I’m over at her house, I have to dress and act that way. To keep the peace between her and my mom, I agreed with my mom I would go along with it. I hate it, but I go along with it and that way they are both very happy. Grandmother always calls me Kimberly, no matter where we are or how I’m dressed. I cringe every time she visits us. I have to stay in the house and that’s not even safe! My mom goes to work and Grandma takes me shopping and to the hair salon! By the time mom gets home from work, Kimberly is back. Complete with a new girly party dress, and everything that goes on under them.

I mean it’s so embarrassing because all the salespeople know who I am and what I am. They just smile and treat me like a little girl. It’s enough to make you want to scream! Mom comes home and until grandmother leaves again, I’m stuck as mom’s pretty-little girl Kimberly. I’m the outcast of my town and school by the kids. Most of them think I’m a little girl pretending to be a boy. I have a few girl-friends (I separated that word on purpose) and they all want me to be a girl and so do their mother’s. I can’t win!

Oh, here’s Mrs. Sanford and the doctor. Mrs. Sanford says.

“Kimberly, everything is all set Princess. You have nothing further to worry about. We will be fixing your little problem and you will be able to join your group in a few hours. Now you do what Dr. Susan tells you and I’ll see you again in a little while.”

She gives me a hug and a kiss on my lips. My lips still feel like puffy pieces of rubber, GEEZE! After she leaves, Dr. Susan introduces herself to me and I tell her my name is KC. She chuckles and says.

“KC, once I’ve completed this little procedure, you’ll be much more comfortable being called Kimmie or Kimberly than KC. I’ll be calling you Kimberly as will all the staff here.”

She looks right at Nurse Cindy when she said that. I see Nurse Cindy nod and then leave. Another Nurse comes in then. She isn’t as pretty as Cindy is and she looks kind of serious to kind of mean if you ask me. She says.

“Kimberly, I’m PA Bonnie, that means I’m a Physicians Assistant. I’m not a doctor, but I am much more than a nurse. Once Dr. Susan has completed the procedure, I’ll be the one you see for any further treatment or care if you need any. Now, what Dr. Susan or I say, is law around here! So if we write special orders for you, they WILL be followed to the letter. There will be no arguing, deal making, or not doing what we order. Do you understand me Kimberly?”

“Um, yes ma’am, but what would you guys order that I would argue about or not want to do?”

“Maybe nothing at all Kimberly, but, I just need you to understand the rules okay?”

“Um, yes ma’am.”

Dr. Susan gives me a hug and says.

“Okay Kimberly, now I’m going to give you a shot that is going to make you go to sleep for a little while. When you wake up, you’ll look like a girl everywhere and really by Kimberly. Now just relax and roll on your side. That’s a good little girl.”

I feel a cold swipe of something on my bottom cheek and then a needle stick. It isn’t too bad, and I start getting sleepy a few minutes later. I’m really getting groggy and woozy as I feel someone spreading my legs apart and putting my feet into something. They bend my knees and I’m spread wide open as they secure my legs and feet with straps. I feel someone washing me between my legs with something cold and it smells funny, like a very strong medicinal soap. I’m very woozy now, and barely awake, when I hear the doctor say.

“Time to numb the area Bonnie, use the special mix for Kimberly, 50ccs in the penis body and 50 more in the scrotal sac at each testicular sphere. We’ll use the groin patch after the procedures are completed. She’ll be able to be fully active in a few hours.”

I’m in and out, not fully asleep, but not awake enough to know what’s actually going on. I do feel three needle sticks though and they hurt badly, but I can’t react. I’m sort of immobile and in another world.

I feel pressure down there and sort of hear things, but nothing makes sense to me. I found out later, but for your information, I add what was actually said and done here. PA Bonnie says.

“Susan, these testicles are so tiny they pose no problem at all.” Susan answers.

“Yes, they will be very easy to remove with no bruising. I’m going to remove the entire scrotal contents, no sense in making things complicated. We might as well prepare the penis shaft for bodily assimilation. If you will treat the head with the solution now, it will be ready for me to form her clitoris by the time I’m through forming the labia minor from her scrotum. We will inject the forming gel into the outer groin area to form the Labia major. She’ll look cute as a button down here when were done.”

“Susan, if we form the clitoris now, the sensitivity will be extreme to say the least.”

“Bonnie, I know that dear, I’ll insert numbing rods into each of her two labia minors. That will take care of it for two weeks. By then her sensitivity will be back to almost a normal level. She’ll also be able to be fully active, well, as much activity as being diapered 24/7 will allow for the first two weeks. I’ll bet she will be more than happy to be able to wear her little girl training panties after those two weeks.”

They both chuckle as I feel a lot of pressure down there and then I feel nothing at all as I drift away.

They removed both of my testicles, scooped out everything inside my scrotum, slit it into two pieces, and made the inner lips of a girl’s cunny. She inserted the self-dissolving numbing rods and then used a special adhesive to glue everything in place. Bonnie painted the tip of my penis with some kind of stuff that allowed them to peel away layers of skin leaving the nerve endings exposed. They injected that gel stuff and formed the big puffy labia majors that just left me with a single slit down there. You have to separate them to see the inner stuff. I guess most little girls don’t have the inner stuff showing. They did something to my chest as well.

“Bonnie, prepare her nipples with the skin prep solution. I want to make her nipples larger and more realistic. I’ll use the hormonal gel solution and inject it just under them until we get the desired results. By the time the hormonal gel is absorbed, she’ll be developing normally.”

“Okay Susan, Oh, I wrote her special dietary orders and forwarded them to the Mrs. Peter’s. She’ll be expecting the supplements and add them to Kimberly’s food and health shakes. I’m so glad we hired her, she’s the best dietician we’ve ever had.”

“She sure is Bonnie, remember Mrs. Osgood?”

“Do I remember her? She’s the nurse that used to work at the boys camp. She’d pick out the smaller cuter boys and switch their shampoos, body wash, and sunscreen lotion with tea tree oils and lavender based products. Within a month, they were growing breasts of their own. By the time they left camp, they had nice looking sets. It wasn’t until that Endocrinologists son went home with the personal care products that they found out the cause. I think he had “A+” sized breasts by the time he arrived back home. If she hadn’t told the boys to make sure they paid close attention to their personal care and used that sunscreen everyday, they never would have traced it back to her. She still got off though. It wasn’t illegal at all what she did. They were all easily obtainable over the counter products. She had them use them as they were intended, no foul, but those boys certainly had an interesting school year!”

“Bonnie, I got her a job at Mrs. Sanford’s Salon in LA. You know the one, ’Pretty Boys’ and she’s very popular there I understand. She’s rich now as well. She has her own line of skin care products. The mothers, grandmothers, and guardians of the ’pretty boys’ buy all of them regularly. She has a veritable who’s who list of clients.”

They worked on my penis next, peeling most of the skin away. They snipped and sealed the main vessels that would engorge the penis with blood allowing a stiffy. I would never get a stiffy again. The most I would get is an engorging of the tip, now my clitoris. They tucked what was left back until only a portion along with my urethra showed. They used the trimmed off skin to form my new clitoral hood. I needed that desperately. My clitoris would now be more sensitive to touch than a real girl’s would! I would never ejaculate, but I would now have a systemic orgasm, that means my whole body would react to a stimulus overload. They did my breasts and I was done. One hour and forty-five minutes, that’s all it took to change my life forever. I had a small tube inserted into my urethra until what they sprayed all over the area, some kind of barrier solution, cured. That stuff promotes rapid healing and protects all the raw areas from infection and contamination.

When I woke up, Mrs. Sanford, Nurse Cindy, and Ms Ringwood were there. I was completely dressed in a pair of loose fitting, light, pink summer shorts, and a loose fitting pink top. I had on pink socks and pink sneakers with yellow trim. Everything had yellow trim. The top had the camp logo on it with my name spelled out as Kimberly in yellow script embroidery. I still had the twin ponytails tied with the pink ribbon bows. I looked in the full mirror and saw my makeup was still intact. Dang, I looked pretty and that made me feel weird. I noticed my bottom was thickly padded, so obvious to anyone seeing me. I also noticed my chest, GEEZE it looked huge to me! I asked.

“Um, when can I stop wearing these diapers and how come my chest looks so big?”

Mrs. Sanford let Nurse Cindy answer me, she said.

“Kimberly, your chest looks bigger now because they have pads on them. The pads are keeping the medicine on your breasts until they heal Sweetheart. It will just be for a few days and then you can go without the pads and you’ll look a bit smaller. As for the diapers, well, that will be about two weeks Princess. The procedure turned out perfectly, but your body has to adapt to the changes. You can’t feel anything down there right now and that will last for about two weeks. That means you will not know or feel when you have to pee Honey.”

Mrs. Sanford jumped in here, took over the conversation, and completely changed the subject.

“Come with us Kimberly. Ms Ringwood and I want to take you to your cabin and you can meet your cabin mates. I want you to know that several of the groups wanted you to be in their cabins, but we selected the older girls for you to stay with as they can watch over you and help you better than the others could.”

Ms Ringwood says.

“Kimmie, once you are settled in and all, one or more of the girls will take you on a tour. After your tour, come to the main office, you will need to talk to your grandmother. After your phone call, we’ll walk over to the infirmary and get you changed and give you a quick look over, all right Princess?”

“Yes Ma’am, get settled, go on a quick tour, talk to Grammy, go to the infirmary, get changed and a quick look over.”

Both of the women smile, nod, and chuckle. We arrive at a cabin that looks like a log cabin. It’s a large two-story cabin with a wrap around porch. I’m very surprised this place is beautiful! I mean at the other camps something like this was for the owner or director of the camp, not for the campers. I see a two girls sitting on the porch railing out front. They see us coming, one of them runs inside and the next thing I know, six girls are jogging towards us grinning and chatting away loudly.

When they get close enough, I know I will be staying with the 16 year olds. I see Lucy and recognize two others from the bus. I was left with the girls as the two women returned to whatever they were returning to after giving Lucy and the girls a few instructions. Lucy is the cabin leader, and soon she has me by the hand and we walk to the cabin and I’m given a tour. This place is bigger than the house I live in! It has five small bedrooms, all occupied, each identical to the rest. There is a bed, a desk and chair, a corkboard on the wall with the cabins schedule of activities and other stuff thumb tacked to it. A closet with clothes that need to be hung in it and one wall has a bunch of drawers and cubbyholes in it. Lucy shows me that the desk turns into a vanity lifting up the desktop. When you do that, underneath has a place for makeup and junk. The desktop is a mirror with lights around it once you lift it up fully. The upstairs also has a bathroom with three toilets, three showers, three sinks with counter space and mirrors. Three hairdryers are hanging on hooks nearby. There is a large clothes hamper for the used towels and wash clothes. There is a nice feature at the far end of the upstairs, a walk out porch all screened in keeping the bugs away.

We go downstairs and Lucy shows me our room. This bedroom is twice as large as the others are and it’s a good thing! I see Lucy’s bed and a smaller bed next to it. My bed is lower and much shorter than Lucy’s bed; it even has wooden side rails. I recognize a toddler bed when I see one! She shows me her (our) closet and immediately I can recognize my stuff from hers. My clothes are all much smaller versions of her clothes. They also are a little more juvenile in design. I groan, the girls giggle, and I’m promised a closer look at everything later on.

I’m shown a bathroom that has a tub, and a new addition I recognize as a changing table. The shelves above it are stocked with disposable diapers, baby diaper pants in pink, yellow, and white. I also see my future sleepwear and I’m not overjoyed in the least! Sleeveless leotards, five of them two are pink, one with four rows of yellow ribbon lace on the bottom, one with four rows of white ribbon lace. Two are yellow also with four rows of contrasting colored lace on the bottoms. The last one is white and is the worse of them all. Front and back are covered in contrasting rows of pink and yellow ribbon lace, at least eight rows! I also see colored tights stacked neatly nearby on a shelf. I immediately say.

“Look guys, I only have to wear these for two weeks, why do I have to wear this stuff? My entire clothes selection is little girl stuff!”

Janet, the biggest girl in our cabin, and she is big and not in a fat way either. Lifts me up and hugs me saying.

“Kimmie Honey, you have to face facts Sweetheart. You look like a five-year-old little girl. Yes, you only have to wear the thick diapers for two weeks, but you’ll still need to wear thick training panties until you can control your wee-wee. See, we even have a potty chair for you.”

I’m shocked; I hadn’t realized I would have to go through all of this. It was supposed to be a simple tuck away procedure, what had happened to make me have to learn to wee on my own again? I look and see a pink potty chair with yellow trim with my name on the back. It read “Princess Kimberly” in an arc in script writing. I groaned, rolled my eyes, and everyone giggled. Janet continued.

“Kimmie, all of these outfits as we understand it were selected and paid for by your grandmother. She’s a good friend of Mrs. Sanford, so don’t cause any trouble okay Sweetie? Your grandmother stays here for a week with Mrs. Sanford every summer, and she donates a lot. Everyone here just loves her to death.”

I smelled a rat right then and there! I’ve been set up and royally screwed! How can I talk to Grammy later knowing all this and keep anger out of my voice? I yell out.

“We need a group meeting! I need to tell you my entire story. After I tell you, you’ll see that my grandmother isn’t all that nice!”

I startled them all with my shouting and the anger in my voice. Being my size, when I get like this surprises everyone. We plan a meeting later on after dinner. I have to go on my tour now and then talk to sweet Grammy, and then go to the infirmary.

Janet and Lucy go with me and I’m surprised to see a golf cart. We get in and Janet drives as Lucy sits in the back seat with me. Most of the stuff I see is the regular type stuff all camps have, but a few things stand out. The official Olympic pool and separate diving pool are awesome! Tennis courts, wave pool, basketball court, softball field, all the sports for girls, are represented and of the finest quality. We pull up to this huge building and walk in. It’s filled with gymnastic equipment, an indoor track, pole-vaulting area, and everything else for gymnastics and track and field. We go for another short ride in the golf cart and pull up to this other building about one-quarter the size. We go in and it’s a dance studio. It has everything a high quality dance studio should have. There is a woman there and she calls us over. She is very petite and very beautiful. Her name is Ms Leticia Horn and she is the head instructor here. She knows me immediately and calls me Kimberly.

“Hello Kimberly, you’ll be spending a lot of time with me Princess. You are a very pretty girl. I have everything you need, let me give you the three-penny tour. Lucy, Janet, come back in about a half hour all right girls?”

The two girls leave and Ms Leticia says.

“Kimberly, I know you were a boy once, with that in mind you need to do a few special things to develop and train muscles you don’t normally use. I have designed a program that does just that, and has proven successful with other girls like you. Every day at 10:00 am, you’ll come here and I’ll personally spend an hour with you. In no time at all, you’ll be able to dance like all the other girls. Now let me show you your locker and dancewear.”

As we walk towards the locker room I say.

“Ms Leticia, what did you mean by girls like me?”

She stopped, knelt down, gave me a hug and a kiss, and said.

“Kimberly, some girls are born with extra little bits that require fixing before they can become the beautiful girls they really are inside. All of us have heard about you Kimberly. Mrs. Athens (my Grammy) has told us all about you and how hard life has been for you. She has known since you were born that you were one of the special girls. You see Kimberly, your grandmother and Mrs. Sanford have helped a lot of special girls just like you. They have spent a good portion of their lives doing just that. Every year we have had at least one special girl here, sometime a few. This year you’re our special girl and we’ll do everything to help you and make you the happiest you’ve ever been. No one will pick on you or tease you here Kimberly. Once you leave here, no one will ever pick on you or tease you again.”

OH GOD, OH GOD! They are making me a girl here! I’m never going to be a boy again, and they just are doing it, they never asked ME anything! I wonder if my mom knows any of this. I bet she knew all along! I feel my shoulders shake and I re-focus. Ms Leticia says.

“Kimberly, deep down you knew you never had a choice in this Honey. You’re very beautiful, very small, and delicate. You’ve been teased and hurt just for being who you are Sweetheart. Isn’t it good that that will never happen again Honey? Now you can pout, scream, kick, throw a tantrum, and try to run away and hide somewhere. None of that will change anything though Kimberly. You have a big choice to make now Sweetheart. You can choose to become the best little girl that we all know you really are, or you can waste your time and your life being miserable. I won’t let you choose the latter, so you’d better put a smile on your beautiful face and enjoy yourself this summer and every day after that pretty one.”

She gave me another big hug and a kiss, led me around, and showed me everything that pertained to my training and dancing. The place is wonderful, she kept me distracted, and I saw that all my leotards and dancing stuff could only be described as child wear, GEEZE! It looks like I’ll be wearing those training panties longer than I have to wear these diapers!

I’m in a sort of a foggy dream and nightmare when the girls pick me up and we continue our tour. I find out that this camp isn’t co-ed at all. The boys never come over here and the girls never go over there. They even go into to town on separate days and times. The boys go to the Saturday church services and the girls go Sundays. On Saturdays, they don’t have the church social or anything like that. The boys go to services, then shop a little bit, and go back to camp. The boys all took a vote, and they don’t go to the town’s dances and the town likes it that way. I guess there was some trouble between the town boys and the camp boys over a few of the town girls. No, my boy life is over for good now. I have a hard time with that yet though.

We finally see everything I’m supposed to see and they take me to the infirmary. I know I’m sopping wet, I can feel the wetness and the heaviness of my diaper. I’m numb in front, but I can still feel my bottom. Lucy and Janet come in with me and PA Bonnie and Nurse Cindy are waiting for me smiling. PA Bonnie says.

“Hi girls, Lucy, Janet, are you ready for your training now?”

They answer in unison. “Yes, ma’am, we’re ready.”

I find myself naked and lying on an examination table, when, in walk Dr. Susan, Mrs. Sanford, and my Grammy!

The next bit is a mixture of them explaining what has been done to me and showing me what I look like down there now. While PA Bonnie and Nurse Cindy are showing and instructing the two girls how to care for me and what signs to look out for, my Grammy is stroking my forehead and explaining why this was done to me. Grammy tells me a lot more than I ever knew about my body and me. She told me my mommy just couldn’t do it. My mom just didn’t and doesn’t have the strength of mind to tell me what I needed to know. I wanted to stay a little boy no matter what, even though in the long run, that wasn’t ever possible for me to live a happy and useful life. My mom just couldn’t make me see the truth and let me be the little boy I thought I was.

Grammy said.

“Kimberly, as a little boy you were almost passable when you were naked. People saw your tiny penis and thought you were the prettiest little boy they ever saw. As you grew older, not much changed. You became even more beautiful, remained delicate and tiny. Your little boy parts stayed tiny as well. Everyone that saw you thought you were a tomboy, none of them believed you were a boy at all.

“You turned twelve and puberty would begin soon. Something had to be done and done now. I had something done because if I let your mommy decide things, nothing would ever be done. You must realize Kimberly that you would never grow into a young man and then a man. Your body just wouldn’t and couldn’t develop that way. You would be a teenager with a tiny penis, a tiny effeminate body with no hope of a sexual relationship with any of the girls. Next year you will have your urethra re-routed so you will wee-wee from the same spot girls do. When you turn eighteen, you will get the vagina that will make you a whole woman. The problem you have the most with now Pumpkin, is how you age and develop. You’re twelve, but your body is actually six. When you are eighteen, your body will be that of a nine year old. That is why you have to dress in an age appropriate way. Appearances are everything in this world if you want to be a success Kimberly. You can use your appearance as a tool to help you and to fool your competition and enemies. They will underestimate you and that is to your great advantage. I will help you and teach you everything I know Kimberly. I hope that one day you’ll replace me and run my companies. Your mommy just doesn’t have what it takes, but you do. You have your father’s intellect, common sense, and strength of will. I’ve seen that time and time again. Along with your fathers attributes, you also have your mothers and her family’s physical ones. You’re small and delicate, very beautiful. What you have that is unique is that eternal youth everyone in the world craves and tries to buy through chemicals and plastic surgery. That is what you have no one else has Kimberly. When you are sixty years old like I am now, you will appear to be thirty. That is a gift to cherish Kimberly. Now, let’s get you diapered and dressed. It’s time for dinner and I want my granddaughter to sit with me. We have a lot to catch up on and talk about Sweetheart.”

We did sit together, along with Mrs. Sanford. They have known each other since they were children. Mrs. Sanford would have been Mr. Sanford if it weren’t for my grandmother helping him through the years to become the girl and woman he always knew he was.

As my grandmother became very successful, married, had my dad and so on, she and her husband helped many girls born like me. They didn’t have my growth condition, but they were all in need to become the girls they really were. When my dad and grandfather died in a plane crash, my grandmother, and Mrs. Sanford teamed up to make Mrs. Sanford’s summer camp a very special place.

I’ll always remember that summer. A summer of terror at first, but quickly things changed and she was right. I was never happier in my life before that time. I had a wonderful time and learned to laugh at my clothing. I had to admit I did look cute as hell in those outfits. Yes, it took until they re-routed my urethra and several months after that until I once again regained control of my muscles and stopped wetting myself. For a year and then some, I had to wear the thick, baby training panties. They were actually a one-piece diaper and waterproof panty, covered with a cloth panty. Yes, they were usually fancy and frilly.

I’m twenty-one years old now. Grammy is, well, much older. She’s retired from her businesses, but is still active with the summer camp. She and Mrs. Sanford (I now call Auntie Betty) stay together at the camp each summer. My mother is my shield now. Everyone thinks she is running things, but I’m the one that runs it all. I turn up from time to time standing and being with my mom. They see a ten-year-old girl. A very pretty and delicate creature, that everyone underestimates. Yes, Grammy is right; appearances are everything in this world, especially in business and finance!

One thing I’ve learned the hard way that many don’t ever learn. Morality can get in the way of reality and peoples real and desperate needs. My mom knows this well. Her objections and reluctance to take part in my change were made on moral grounds. If she had her way, I would probably have committed suicide by now. Either that or have been killed by some homophobe. We’ll never know though will we? All I can go by is what I have experienced, lived through, and seen so far. Children and adults treated so badly all in the name of what is morally right or wrong. There is a place for morality and it is needed in a general way for societies to function and countries to exist somewhat peacefully.

I think the biggest problem is when humankind’s religions use quotations from long dead peoples from long ago societies, and reword and interpret them to try and fit them into today’s world. It doesn’t work; it never has and never will. Morality and morals change with the times. Humankind’s religions can never keep up. What many try and convince others, as religious truth, justice, and love, is only a fantasy turned bad. Ask anyone in this world that doesn’t fit into a religious mold of some kind. They are sinners, abominations, they are given pity, told that God, Jesus, or some other entity loves them and are just waiting for them to give themselves over to whatever it is they are to trust with blind faith.

Miracles happen from time to time, but not enough of them to do the majority in need of them any good. Humankind must help humankind! They must use the tools they have to help when they can. This world will change that way for the better. No religious strings and morality restrictions will work on a worldwide basis. We all know this, yet many remain blind to it. Millions of Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, and so many more are restricted to really help in a meaningful way. These religions are spread all over the world and have been for hundreds of years. What have they done to better this world? Nothing but become richer! Hand out Bibles and Korans; build churches, synagogues, and mosques. Kill each other in the names of their religions. Yes, they are quick to inform the world what is morally right and what their god’s have to say on all subjects from hundreds and thousands of years ago! Religions get rich off of interpreting, and changing, the very words their gods uttered so long ago. To bad, they condemn masses of people through religious justice. They don’t have to help them, no way! They are all beyond redemption!

No, it’s going to take the regular humans, the every day realists to make this world a better place for all to live. No religions, no rules of morality will do this. It will be those certain peoples who see what really is needed to be done today, to change things for the better for the future of this world and humankind.

I thank my Grammy for her intervention as morally wrong as they were. Her actions were needed then, and has helped make this world a better place today. I know they helped me! I in turn am helping others. That is what will make a difference, a real difference!

I’ve created a special year-round school for special kids. Um, I do get a lot of support through Federal monies for some reason. I’ve staffed it with the best and most talented professionals I could find. A wonderful woman that was a girl born like me runs the place. it’s for those like me. Little ones with aging differences and born with the wrong bits. I’ll tell you about it sometime.

There are other schools somewhat similar, but different all the same. They are scattered about the world in different countries. A woman I’ve come to know and love as a sister, like Grammy and Mrs. Sanford is the secret headmistress of them all. You might know her or have heard of her? Her name is Karen Page. Ask her about her schools sometime. Yes, this world has a chance, if we can get past the morality of it all and really do something real!

Huggles All!
Kimberly Caitlyn Amy


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