Audra: A New Life - Part 1 - Losing Aaron

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Synopsis:

The parents of a small boy face a difficult choice after an injury to their son.

Audra: A New Life

by Joanne Foxcourt

Chapter 1 - Losing Aaron

Story:

Author's Note: I've been an avid reader of TG fiction for quite a long time. I especially enjoy stories that are sweet and sentimental or those in which the character is punished with love and compassion (if you want to know what that means, read any of the Aunt Jane stories by Tigger). Anyways, this is my first attempt at a story and I hope you enjoy it.

All the usual copyright and "viewing if you're legal" rules apply. There is no sex in this story, the character is far too young, but there is implied violence. It is a work of fiction and all the characters are fictional, any similarities to the living are chance.

For those who may think that this story is inspired by Little Katie's "How Life Can Change", Joanne tells me that it is. There's not a much higher compliment a new author can pay someone she admires than to attempt to tell a similar story with her own twists. I think Joanne succeeds.

Another thing, the villains are there as a dramatic device in order to get the story moving. Please don't read too much into their ethnicity or religion.

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Chapter 1: Ransom Demands.

"Remember honey, come straight home after the game," said Aaron's mom, "we have your grandparents visiting."

"I will mom," replied Aaron as he grabbed his baseball glove and hat from the front table. He smiled happily at the start of a new summer with baseball, grandparents, and all of the other fun things kids get to do on their summer vacation. Aaron had just turned eleven and while he was small for his age, he was actually a pretty good athlete and a real fanatic for baseball because it's lack of physical contact gave him a better chance against the boys who were bigger than him.

Aaron's size was unusual for the men in his family. Both his father and older brother were quite a bit bigger when they were his age. He was more like his older sister and mother; small, compact, and cute rather than handsome. He sometimes got teased for his cuteness, looking more like a girl could be a real burden for a young boy, but because of his baseball ability and his general friendliness, the teasing was usually good natured.

Aaron led a good life. His family was very well off, courtesy of both inheritances and a father who had very sound business sense. They lived in a fancy neighborhood and he and his siblings attended a prestigious private school. Being a smart lad in a moneyed family meant very bright prospects for Aaron as he got older. Of course, being eleven, he didn't really think about those issues.

***

As Aaron tore down the street on his bicycle, he failed to notice the dark van that had pulled out from around the corner of a nearby street. The van had tinted windows and a license plate that was obscured by dirt and road dust. The man behind the wheel nodded at his companion beside him, "is this the one we want?"

"That's him. He is perfect for us. Wealthy family, young, and easily controlled and we can make a lot of money for the cause if we grab him."

"Do you want to grab him now or wait until after his game?"

"Wait for the game. He's rushed now; he may not stop for us. Besides, it will give us a chance to study him and maybe we will see some other potential sources of revenue amongst his friends."

The driver nodded again and turned to pass Aaron as both headed to the baseball diamond. As the men parked their van a few minutes later, they watched Aaron enter the parking lot to chain up his bike, getting ready for the first game of the season. Most of his team was already there and the men could see that the other team was also ready to go. Carefully, they found themselves some seats in the bleachers and settled into watch the game.

***

"Hey Aaron, ready for the big game?" shouted out Aaron's best friend Mike.

"I was born ready Mike!" Aaron laughed at him. It was their ritual of superstition that many athletes have.

"Can you hang out after?"

"Nah, my grandparents are coming over today and I promised my mom that I'd go straight home."

"Nuts."

Aaron laughed again and shrugged with that "what can I do" kind of shrugs that all kids seem to be able to use. He wasn't that unhappy about it though, he loved visiting with his grandparents.

After that, the coaches for the two teams started organizing their young charges and the home plate umpire shouted, "Play ball!"

***

After the celebration of the win, 7-4 with Aaron scoring twice, he slapped a high five with his friend Mike and jumped on his bike for the ride home. Aaron was feeling pretty happy, he won, scored some runs, and his grandparents were coming to visit. All in all, he though, this was turning into a glorious day.

"Hey kid!"

Aaron looked up at the van that had pulled up beside him and the smiling face of the man at the passenger window, "yes?" Aaron pulled over his bike as the van came to a stop and the two men climbed out.

"My friend and I are a little lost, we're looking for State Lane and we haven't had much luck finding it," said the man as he pulled out a hand drawn map.

Aaron didn't have either of the native caution of girls or the street caution of poorer youths growing up in the inner city. He leaned over to look at the map, "you're close, sir, all you need to do..." His voice fell silent as he felt the prick of a needle and the world started to go black. His mind screamed help, but nothing came out of his mouth.

Both men acted quickly. They lifted Aaron into the van through the side door. The former passenger climbed in after him and the driver jumped in behind the wheel and sped the van off down the road.

***

"Where is that boy?!?" Marianne, Aaron's mom fumed. "He was supposed to be home hours ago."

"Have you called Mike's place mom?" Susie asked. "He usually goes there after his baseball games."

"He had better not, but I guess I had better check."

"Don't get too upset with the lad, Mari," said Aaron's grandmother, "he's just a boy and he's doing what all little boys have done for centuries." Aaron's grandfather laughed at that and nodded wisely in agreement as he looked at his son, Aaron's dad who was also chuckling.

"Still, I'll call and get him to shake his tail home," replied Marianne as she picked up the phone in the parlor and dialed Mike's home. "Hi June, its Marianne, is Aaron over there? I see... Okay... Thanks June."

"He's not there. Mike told his mother that Aaron had left from home straight after the game." Marianne looked worried. "Ken would you take a look around the neighborhood for your brother?"

"Sure mom. Don't worry, I'll find the little brat and bring him home." Ken smiled reassuringly. Ken teased his brother a lot, but he was thinking that this was pretty unlike him; the kid was normally pretty reliable when he made a promise. Ken, too, was getting worried.

However, before Ken could head out of the house, the phone rang. As his father, James, picked it up, he told Ken to wait since it could be Aaron calling. "Hello, Wilson residence, James Wilson speaking."

As James listened on the phone, the rest of the family could see him turn pale and start to shake. He said into the phone, "I see, I understand. I'll wait for your next call."

"What's the matter honey? Is Aaron hurt?" Marianne asked.

"Hurt?" James shook his head, "no, not hurt, not yet. He's been kidnapped!" Tears formed in his eyes as he hugged his wife who had begun crying in fear for her youngest son, her baby. Other cries of fear and astonishment quickly followed.

Fear and worry evident in his voice, but ever the strong one, James' father tried to calm everyone down, "What did he say on the phone son?"

Grateful for the strong, but simple, reassurance of his father's calm voice, James replied, "They want five million dollars in seven days or they said they would start taking away portions of Aaron's life." Marianne cried even more at hearing that.

"What do they mean portions of his life?"

"I don't know. What do we do?"

"We call the police and we start trying to get the ransom together." James' father said. "We can hope that they find Aaron first, but we only have a week and five million is a lot of money to put together in such a short time. Use your cell phone in case the kidnappers call back."

Chapter 2: Darkness.

Aaron could feel the tight rope around his wrists and ankles as he slowly woke. His mouth felt extremely dry from the cloth gag and the blindfold kept him from seeing where he was. All he could tell is that he was lying on a thin mattress and the room had a slight stench to it as though it was urinated in.

"He is waking up."

"Good," replied another voice as Aaron felt the gag being removed from his mouth. "Don't talk boy or we put the gag back in. Now, you will listen." Aaron just nodded as he was given a small sip of water. The voice continued, "We have contacted your parents. Your continued safety relies on them following our directions clearly and quickly. We have demanded five million dollars in seven days. If they fail to do that, we will take away part of your life and the ransom will double. If they succeed, we will let you go as we have found you. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." Aaron croaked through the dryness of his mouth, "Why?"

"Though you spoke, I will answer, but remember that you are not permitted to speak again. We have a cause for the glory of Allah. We are his warriors and we seek justice and retribution for the suffering and evils that your country has visited upon us. It is both just and fitting that financing this goal comes from you. Allah smiles at the irony of the devils paying for their own destruction. Your ransom will help us as will the ransoms of others like you."

Aaron remained silent as the fear swept through him. He was young and the events of September 11th were a blur for him, but he remembered the fear and who was blamed. For the first time in his young life, Aaron was beginning to understand the evil lengths that some would go to and that he was caught within them through no fault of his own. Silently, he prayed that his parents would save him, he no longer doubted the danger that he faced at the hands of his captors.

***

James answered the door and admitted the two police detectives. They introduced themselves as detectives Stewart and Bolton respectively. "We're very sorry about this situation Mister Wilson; we will do our best to get your son back," Detective Stewart said after the introductions.

"Thank you Detective, we appreciate both your assistance and that you have managed to keep this away from the press. My wife is not up to the strain of dealing with the press right now."

"Is the rest of the family still here Mister Wilson?" asked Bolton.

"I've sent my other two children with their grandparents until this is resolved. I thought it best to distract them and to keep them from being underfoot while you investigate. My wife is exhausted and asleep upstairs."

"That's fine. If we need to talk to them, we can always call them. I don't think that will be necessary though. We have talked to Aaron's young friend and his story checks out. He did mention that there were some people in the stands that weren't usually there. He wasn't sure if they came to watch the other team, but they looked a bit out place, especially their van. I guess the van was pretty beaten up for this neighborhood."

"That's not a lot to go on is it?" James asked.

"I'm afraid not," replied Bolton, "but that's what we have so far. We've placed traces on your phone line, but I would be surprised if they called from their hideout. You never know though, sometime kidnappers slip up. We managed to monitor the second phone call with the ransom delivery instructions, but the trace ran to a pay phone in a shopping mall. I suspect that the kidnappers are close to that area, but there are a lot of apartments and houses around there and it's a bit rundown."

Just then, the phone rang. James looked at the detectives. "Go ahead and answer Mister Wilson, the trace is automatic and the conversation will be recorded. We're not as archaic as the movies make us out to be," Stewart informed him.

"Hello, Wilson residence, James speaking," James automatically said as he picked up the phone and turned on the speaker.

"Mister Wilson, you have been very bad. You have contacted the police and that has a price," spoke a harsh sounding voice at the other end of the connection.

"A price?" asked James with fear in his voice.

"Yes, the new price is ten million and we will now take a piece of your son's life. You shouldn't have made this mistake Mister Wilson, but it is done and your additional contribution will only help our cause." The click of a phone hanging up was audible.

"What have I done?" James cried. Both detectives looked at each other with concern.

"We're extremely sorry at this turn of events, sir, but all we can do now is find your son or give them the ransom as they demanded. Can you arrange ten million?" Stewart asked.

"I can, but it will be very hard to do," replied James as he collapsed into a chair.

Bolton answered the ringing of his cell phone. "Bolton. I see..."

***

Aaron was shaken awake.

"Your parents made a mistake boy."

Aaron paled and began to shake.

"There are two prices for their mistake. The first is the ransom has doubled. The second is a part of your life."

Aaron felt the needle as the darkness once again began to cover him.

Chapter 3: Found.

"We have some news," Bolton said as he hung up his cell phone. "The kidnappers have made a mistake, they used the same phone."

"How is that a break?" James asked.

"They'll call back, be assured of that, and this time we will have the phone watched."

"What of my son?"

"Hopefully he will be okay. These threats are common, but they are not usually followed through on."

"The 'usually' is cold comfort Detective."

"I wish I could offer more, but we don't know these kidnappers and we don't know what this cause of theirs is. For now, we have to wait until they call again. Get some sleep sir; we'll wake you if the phone rings."

James nodded. He was exhausted, but he didn't know how he could sleep through the fear and worry.

***

"The operation was successful. We're keeping the boy sedated."

"Good. Have you packaged the part?"

"Yes. The note is included. We have destroyed the remaining portions; they won't be able to use what we send."

"The boy will never reach Heaven now, but he is a spawn of devils, so he wouldn't have reached it anyways. Send the package and prepare to call the parents once it has been received."

"It will be done."

***

The doorbell rang, startling James, his wife, and the two detectives as they tried to eat some breakfast. It was a very restless night of worry for the two parents, Marianne had been told about the ransom change.

James opened the door. "Delivery for James Wilson," said the courier, "Sign here."

"What is it?" James asked.

"I don't know sir; it was picked up from one of our courier drop points paid in full."

"I see," responded James as he signed for the package and thanked the courier, closing the door.

"Who was it?" Marianne asked.

"A courier with a package," replied James as he began to open it.

"Careful, there may be fingerprints we can use." Stewart cautioned.

James nodded as he cut the bindings and around the package with greater care. He opened the box inside and found a metal container that was cold to the touch. With it was a note which he opened.

Mr. Wilson,

Behold one of the prices for your mistake. We have taken your son's life as a man; you will find the proof in the metal container. That is his first life that we have taken. Future mistakes might result in other lives, such as a life of vision, if you do not show more caution.

Marianne collapsed crying, "My baby, my poor baby. They are monsters!"

"Don't open the container sir. Doctors have a lot of skill; it may be possible for them to recover what has been lost. Now it is best to keep this container frozen." Bolton said as he stopped James from opening the container.

Tears streaming down his face, James nodded, "I understand, I hope you are right. These people will pay for their monstrous acts." He gathered his sobbing wife into his arms and led her to the sitting room to try and comfort her.

The phone rang. "What?" James roughly demanded as he answered, his normal polite greeting forgotten under the stress of his emotions. His finger stabbed at the speaker button.

"You have gotten our package." It wasn't a question.

"You're a monster. Why have you done this to our son?"

"His many lives are paying for those lives of our people. Do not doubt that we will exact further payment if you fail." The phone line clicked.

Within a minute, Bolton's cell phone rang. "Bolton. You have him? Tail him carefully; we'll get the team in place." Bolton hung up.

James looked at the detective. "He made a mistake Mister Wilson, they used that phone again and one of our detectives is following the suspect. We'll get them."

***

Bolton and Stewart arrived outside the rundown apartment building. Their assistant was waiting with several uniformed men, keeping an additional watch on the building. "We found the van, I think. It's a dark brown, a little beaten up. We also know what apartment they're in," said the young assistant detective.

"Good," responded Stewart, "Let's get these bastards. Get everyone into position and seal off the exits."

***

The apartment door crashed open with a bang, surprising the four men sitting around the table playing cards. One of them jumped up and began running towards the bedrooms. Bolton fired a round at him, taking the man in the lower back. The remaining three raised their hands as additional police entered the apartment.

"We found the boy!" One of the officers shouted from a bedroom. "It looks like he's hurt pretty bad, there are bandages and he's out cold."

"Get the ambulance people up here. We've got to get the kid and this slime bag I shot to the hospital ASAP. Put these others into the holding van and get the forensics team up here. Partner, can you read them their rights?"

As the men were led away, Stewart went through the standard recital, passing the ambulance attendants in the hall.

Bolton called the James Wilson, "We have your son, he's alive and we're taking him to Grace Hospital. We'll meet you there."

Chapter 4: Decisions.

Grandma Wilson picked up the phone, "Hello?"

"Hi mom, it's James. The police have found Aaron and he is at Grace Hospital."

"My goodness! Is he alright?" Grandma Wilson asked.

"Alright? I don't know if I can say that exactly, but he is alive. Mari and I are going to the hospital now, can you bring the kids? I'll explain everything once we hear from the police and the doctors."

"Okay dear, we're very relieved that they found him. We'll see you there." Grandma Wilson hung up the phone, "Children! Your brother has been found!"

"Is he okay, Grandma?" Susie asked.

"Your daddy didn't really say sweetheart. All he would tell me is that Aaron is at Grace Hospital and that he is alive. He said he would explain when we got there, so get your shoes on and we'll go."

***

James raced with Mari to the hospital as fast as he could. His mind was whirling with fear and concern for his young son and he could see similar concern in his wife's face as she clutched the metal box that neither wanted to open. Every now and then, a small sob would escape Mari as she thought of her son, but she was grateful for the strong and calming silence of her husband.

Arriving at Grace Hospital, James and Mari rushed into the Emergency Room and were greeted by the two detectives. "Good, you brought the box," mentioned Stewart, "the doctors have been waiting for this."

"Can we see our son?" Mari asked.

"I'm sorry ma'am," replied a woman's voice behind her, "he was brought in sedated and we're examining him to understand the extent of the harm that has been done. I'm Doctor Anne Sharpe; I've been looking after him since he arrived."

"Can you help him Doctor?" James asked.

"I hope so Mister Wilson," replied Dr. Sharpe. "We're depending a great deal on what we find in this container. I don't want to raise your hopes, but we have very good surgeons here and if it is possible, it will be done. However, it is important for you and your wife to give serious thoughts to what to do next if we are unable to repair this injury."

"I understand Doctor and thank you."

Dr. Sharpe smiled kindly at the two parents as she headed back to the examination room with the metal container. She felt badly for the two, but even more so for young Aaron. The way the damage looked didn't give her a lot of hope in the container and she was beginning to think that the parents were going to face some difficult choices.

***

"Mom!" Ken called as he entered the waiting area with his sister and grandparents. "How is Aaron? Have you heard anything?"

"Not yet honey," Marianne replied, "the doctors are still examining him."

"What's taking so long Mari?" Grandma Wilson asked.

"It's the nature of what they did to him," Marianne replied as she began to cry again. "They hurt him terribly. My poor, sweet, baby." Grandma Wilson gathered Marianne into her arms as James came back from the counter area.

"What did they tell you James?" Grandpa Wilson asked.

"Not much. The doctors are still working on him." James replied.

"What happened dad?" Ken asked.

James sighed. He dreaded telling his family this, but they were going to know soon enough. "The kidnappers told us that they had taken away his life as a man."

Grandma Wilson gasped, "Oh my God!" Ken and his grandfather went white as sheets.

"What does that mean dad?" Susie asked, before Ken could hush her.

"It means, sweetheart, that they hurt your brother very badly down there. The doctors are trying to help him." James informed his daughter quietly.

Before anyone else could ask questions, Dr. Sharpe came back out, "Mister and Missus Wilson, can I speak to you privately for a while." Her face didn't hold out a lot of hope for the Wilson family as James and Marianne followed her into a private room.

"Tell us Doctor, we have to know," James asked quietly.

"Its grave news sir, I have to be honest. The monsters that did this to your son were very careful to ensure that we would be helpless to repair their work. We tried, but too much was missing and we couldn't repair that."

"I... See..." James responded as Marianne began to cry once again. "What are our options?"

"We have three. The first is to do nothing other than to ensure basic urination function, but this will leave Aaron effectively sexless. The second is to try and attach a prosthetic from skin grafts, but it will never function sexually. The last is to make him a girl and give him some hope of a normal life."

"What?!?"

"I understand Mister Wilson, believe me, but the third option is really the best. The other two options leave him with no future possibility of intimacy and that may cause even more damage to him in the long run. As a woman, he would at least have options for intimacy even if it was with another woman. We have saved a large number of nerves and that will allow him to still experience pleasure."

"I can't think... I don't know... What does Aaron say?"

"I don't want to pressure your decision Mister Wilson, Aaron is still not awake. The sedation that he was under has worn off, but the stress to his body and his young mind has put him in a coma. His vital signs are strong and we have every reason to believe that he will come out of it in a few days or a week, but we don't have that much time. If we are to make use of the nerve cells, we will need to act almost immediately."

"Can we have a few minutes?" James asked, "Marianne and I need to discuss this."

"The specialist is on his way, and he will be here in about fifteen minutes. Once he is here, he will need to know your decision. Time is of the essence."

"I understand, we will let you know by then."

Dr. Sharpe quietly left the two alone.

***

"What do we do James? He's my darling little boy, I can't lose him!" Marianne cried.

"Oh my love, I wish I knew the right answer," James tried to comfort her. "We need to do what is best for Aaron. We need to give him a chance at recovering his life, his hopes."

"How would making him a girl do that?" Marianne asked, "His hopes are shattered with this."

"I don't know Mari, but I fear a lifetime without intimate love for him if we don't agree to this. Is that better or worse? I don't know. I wish Aaron could answer this question. I feel like I'm betraying him with that answer."

Marianne pulled herself upright as if she had reached a decision. "My beautiful son is treasure to me. It's not a result of his outer skin; it's a result of his generous heart and his warm smile. That he would not be able to share himself deeply with another would be a great loss to him and to others. We have to give him a chance to find a new path to happiness. The Doctor is right."

James kissed his wife tenderly. He knew she was right, Aaron was a strong, generous, boy who was open and honest with his love and affection. To leave him without a chance or a slim one at best, of having that reciprocated as an adult would be almost criminal.

Together, James and Marianne rose to give their answer to the Doctor.

Chapter 5: Audra.

James and Marianne had sent their other two children home with their grandparents. The surgery was going to take a long time and there wasn't much point in everybody staying at the hospital. Of course, there was no way that either of them could leave, they wanted to be there.

The sun was just coming up when Dr. David Caine, the specialist who was working on Aaron came into the waiting area. He could see that the two parents had stayed awake most of the night, they looked exhausted and their eyes were rimmed with red. "Good morning folks. The operation was successful."

"How is he?" James asked.

"Aaron is fine, though the coma is still hanging on. The signs are good though, so we are hopeful that it will be a short one. An important aspect of recovery is for both of you as well is that you must start thinking and speaking of Aaron in the feminine form. She will be struggling with her new identity, with the conflicts inside her, and she will need help and reinforcement. I wish I could be easier on you with this, but it is critical for her and it is equally as critical for you."

James nodded as Marianne spoke quietly, "We will need a new name for her."

Dr. Caine smiled gently at them, "You can see Aaron now, and your voices might help to bring her out of the coma."

***

James had been researching names and they had finally found two that they felt suited their child. The first name they chose was Audra, meaning "noble strength." The second name was Jennifer, meaning "fair spirit." For them, it summed up their child and the hopes they had for her future. Audra Jennifer Wilson was the name now around her wrist and beside her door.

It had been several days since the surgery and Audra was still not out of her coma. Both parents spent hours every day talking to their child, trying to wake her. They talked, they pleaded, they ordered, they cajoled, but so far without avail. Today, Marianne sat beside her new daughter gently washing her face with a soothing stroke. She had often done this for Aaron when he was sick, so she had hopes that it would help Audra now.

"Mommy?"

James sat bolt upright in the chair where he was reading the newspaper as Marianne leaned forward and said, "Yes sweetheart?"

"I hurt mommy."

"I know sweetheart, I know, but you're awake now and you will get better."

"Okay mommy." Audra murmured as she fell back to sleep, real sleep this time and not the coma that had claimed these last few days.

James looked at his wife with tears in his eyes as he sprinted to the nursing station, but he was also smiling. "She's awake!" As a cheer went up from the nursing station and Dr. Sharpe was paged. James went back to Audra's room and hugged his wife who was still stroking her child's brow.

***

It was late at night when Audra awoke again. Her parents had been sent home by the doctor to get some rest and to tell their family the good news.

"Mommy?"

The lack of answer scared her for a moment until she realized that it was late and that she was in the hospital. She didn't feel much pain, she felt mostly numb from the waist down, but she didn't really understand why.

"I see you're awake angel," came a soft voice from the doorway as one of the night nurses entered. "Your mommy and daddy went home for awhile, to get some sleep. They'll be back this morning to see you."

"Oh. Thank you, ma'am."

The nurse laughed, "Call me Nurse Williams sweetie, 'ma'am' makes me feel so old. Better yet, why don't you call me Angie?"

"Okay Angie. I'm Aaron." Audra replied as she stuck out her hand.

"I know sweetie," Angie smiled, "would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, please." Angie held up a glass with a straw so that Audra could drink.

"Slowly sweetie, you haven't had much in your stomach for quite a few days."

"Days? What happened to me? The last thing I remember is these voices telling me that I would have to pay the price because my parents made a mistake."

"You've been asleep for days, angel, you had us worried."

"I'm sorry."

"Oh no, don't apologize. Very evil men did evil things to you. You don't have to apologize to anyone for that. Remember angel, you didn't do anything wrong and you don't need to apologize for it."

"What did they do to me, Angie?"

"I can't tell you that, angel; your parents will do that. It wouldn't be right for me to tell you."

"Okay, Angie, I'm tired, I think I'll sleep some more."

"Sleep well, little one." Angie responded as she stroked the hair from Audra's eyes.

***

James and Marianne felt a lot better in the morning as they entered the hospital. While they both dreaded telling Audra what had happened, they both felt better knowing she was awake.

"Good morning, folks! I have some more good news for you." Angie told them as they approached the nursing station.

"We could use good news, Angie!"

"Audra woke up last night and we chatted for a bit. She seems quite bright and is a most delightful child. You may have to fight all the nurses to take her away from us if this morning is any judge," Angie smiled at them.

Marianne smiled back gratefully. "Is she awake now?"

"Yes, and we've called for Doctor Coulson to come down to help you."

"Doctor Coulson?"

"That would be me," a soft, pleasant voice from behind said, "Sheila Coulson at your service." The Wilson's turned to see the smiling face of an attractive younger woman. She had an almost pixie look of irrepressible humor with deep compassion in her eyes. "I'm her to help both of you and Audra through what will be a trying experience. From what the nurses have told me, you have named her well. In one morning, she has charmed all of them with her grace and strength. This will be difficult, but I believe that her strong character will see her through. Are you ready?"

"Thank you, doctor," James said after that breathless rush.

"Sheila, please. We'll be spending quite a bit of time together and I simply hate formalities."

"Sheila, then. I guess we're as ready as we'll ever be. I'm James and this is my wife, Marianne."

"Mari, for short," smiled Marianne in greeting.

"Do you want me to explain what has happened or would one of you prefer to do it?" Sheila asked.

"I'll do it," James responded.

Sheila smiled, "That's a wise choice. I'll observe and if I see a bad reaction, I can sedate her quickly. Don't be alarmed if that happens, denial and anger are definite stages that she will experience."

***

"Mommy! Daddy!" Audra cried as her parents entered the room. Both rushed over to her and hugged her gently. "I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to worry you."

"Don't apologize, sweetheart, you're not to blame," Marianne told her.

"How do you feel, slugger?" James asked.

"I hurt a bit, daddy, down there, but I guess I feel okay. Nobody will tell me what happened. What happened daddy?"

James felt the tears well up in his eyes as he sat on the bed beside his new daughter. Brushing them away, he sighed deeply and took Audra's hands in his own. "This is going to be very hard for you and I want you to understand that your mother and I love you very much. We love you as much as we ever did and that love was already boundless."

Audra look frightened at those words, "Am I going to die, daddy?"

James breath caught in his throat, "No, slugger, you aren't, though you might sometimes wish you had. You have to be strong. You have to have courage to accept and to grow. Can you promise me that you'll try?"

"Yes, daddy, I'll try."

James smiled at her gently, "Those men that kidnapped you did a very bad thing to you. They did this because we tried to find you and help you. They are evil men and they have been caught and will be punished. However, what they did to you couldn't be repaired, all the doctors tried."

"What did they do daddy? Oh no, it's down there!" Audra cried out and tried to reach down.

James held her close, "Yes, it's down there. We tried, the doctors tried, but there wasn't anything we could do." He could feel Audra sobbing almost noiselessly into his chest as he held her. "We couldn't leave you like that. We had to make a decision for you; you were in a coma and couldn't do it for yourself. Oh, my darling, sweet, child, we had to make you into a girl."

Audra screamed, "No! No! No!" Her head shook wildly, her denial echoed through the corridors of the hospital. Sheila quickly stepped in and injected a sedative into Audra. As James gently laid her back down, her body continued shaking and her head still turned back and forth in denial. Mercifully, the sedative put her to sleep.

James and Marianne held each other and cried.

***

Angie heard Audra's scream of denial as she was preparing to depart her shift. She sat back down; her eyes tearing at the pain that sweet child must have been feeling.

"Are you okay Angie?" Marie Jacobs, the day nurse who was taking over for her.

"They told her. Oh that poor, sweet, child."

"Go home and sleep, Angie. I can see she has already stolen your heart. Sleep and come back to work strong for her. She'll need that."

"Thanks, Marie."

***

Sheila sat with James and Marianne in the room. "I'm sorry I had to put her to sleep, she was going in to hysterics."

"It's okay, Sheila, I don't think I could have taken that otherwise," James smiled wanly.

Sheila accepted the smile, "We need to discuss something important."

"What's that?"

"You need to understand the stages she is going to face before she wakes up again. For her, Aaron has died, and she will face that in five general stages."

"What are the stages?" Marianne asked.

"The first stage is denial. She will attempt to deny that it has happened and she'll be able to maintain that until she sees for herself. Next is anger. She'll be angry at you, at the doctor, and at herself. The third stage is bargaining. At this point she will be desperate to regain herself and she will bargain with whomever she thinks can do that. The fourth stage is depression. We need to be very careful here and watch her closely. It is critical that she pass this stage to the final stage of acceptance. It is our goal to get her there in one piece."

"How will we know when she reaches a stage?" Marianne asked.

"It's usually quite obvious, Mari, especially anger and depression. Bargaining doesn't last too long because it's fruitless and often people discover that quickly. Some or most of these stages can happen quite quickly and they may happen here. The nurses know what to watch for and will help when neither of us is here."

"How much longer will she be asleep?"

"A few more hours, rest is good for her right now. It will help to heal both her mind and her body."

"Is there anything more we can do right now?" James asked.

"Well, Audra will be here for a few more weeks at least, but you need to prepare for her to come home. What will be truly hard for her is that the nature of her injuries will almost certainly require her to wear dresses for the next four to six weeks, so you need to be able to show her that being a girl isn't a bad thing, that there are rewards to it. Don't try to strip away her life as Aaron, but try to introduce the feminine and encourage her with rewards. Above all, don't punish her for behaving like a boy, that will cause her to rebel, but don't reward her for the masculine. It's positive reinforcement, not negative that you want to use."

Chapter 6: Stages.

Audra awoke several hours later with her mother sitting quietly beside her. Her mind was still reeling from the revelation her father made earlier in the morning. She kept repeating "no" in her mind, over and over again.

"Mommy?"

"I'm here sweetheart," Marianne replied, "Are you okay?"

"Tell me it isn't true, mommy? Please! Mommy..." Audra cried softly.

"Oh, my darling baby, I wish I could tell you that. You don't know how much I wish I could tell you that." Marianne responded gathering her daughter into her arms.

Audra cried softly as she fell asleep again.

***

Ken and Susie finally arrived home after the extended stay with their grandparents. Both were a little frustrated at being kept away from their brother and nobody would tell them anything. Today, finally, their parents were going to tell them what had happened and let them visit Aaron at the hospital.

"Mom, Dad, we're home!" Ken shouted as they entered.

"We're in the front parlor son," James called, "We need to have a family talk."

Entering the room, both Ken and Susie could see the strain on their parents faces. Obviously the lack of sleep, coupled with worry for Aaron had left them exhausted. "How's Aaron? Is he coming home soon?" Ken asked.

"Sit down, kids, this is really important." James told them quietly. Both sat quickly, they could see that their parents had something very serious to tell them. "I really don't know how to say this; it's very hard for us. Do you remember what I told you about the injury he received?"

"Yes, Dad." Ken responded as Susie nodded.

"The doctors tried very hard to help him, but they couldn't. We didn't tell you that night, but we talked to the doctors and finally agreed that the best thing for Aaron was to make him into a girl."

"Oh my God! Are you serious?" Ken exclaimed.

"Very. This is not something I would joke about, Ken, you should know that."

Susie looked stunned, "Aaron is going to be my sister?"

"Yes, sweetie, she will be. You have to help her; she hasn't grown up with this." Marianne told her daughter.

"She? Her?" Ken asked.

"Yes." James said firmly, "She and her. You have to get used to it and you had better start now. Your sister is Audra Jennifer and you will love and treat her like you always have."

"No sweat, Dad, I didn't mean it that way. I think my brain has just gone numb."

"I know the feeling, son, believe me I know the feeling."

"When can I see my new sister, daddy?" Susie asked.

James smiled at her, "Today. Audra should have come out of sedation by now."

"Sedation?" Ken questioned.

"Not surprisingly, Audra lost it when I told her what happened. The doctor had to sedate her to keep her from going into hysterics. She woke up a while ago and talked a bit with your mother before falling asleep again. She's in denial now, but the doctors don't believe that it will last very long. After that, I expect she'll be very angry, and probably mostly at me."

"At you?"

"Yes, at me. Those monsters did this to her, but all she really understands right now is that I told the doctors to make her into a girl. It will take a while for her to see past that."

***

"Hey brat, how's it going?"

Audra looked up as her brother and sister walked into the room. "Ken! I'm so glad to see you. You too, Susie, I didn't mean just Ken."

Susie ran up and hugged Audra, she was already crying. "I'm so glad you're okay!"

"I'll be better when everyone stops playing games with me," Audra responded while hugging her sister back.

"Games?" Ken asked.

"Yeah, they keep telling me I'm a girl. Can you figure that?"

Ken looked at his new sister sadly, but decided it was better to drop it. Obviously, Audra didn't want to hear the truth right now and he gave Susie a warning shake of his head as she was about to respond.

"So, I hear you've been lazing about watching TV and reading magazines all day." Ken commented.

Audra laughed, "Hey, its summer vacation you know!"

"When do you get out?" Susie asked.

"Soon, I think. The doctor thought in a couple of weeks. I want to go home, but they're trying to make sure everything is okay."

"Were you scared, you know, when..." Susie whispered.

Audra shuddered, remembering the darkness and the voices. She nodded at Susie, afraid to speak for a moment.

***

Audra was awake when Angie came into the room later that night to change the dressings on the wound. "Well, hello, angel! How are you feeling?"

"Hi Angie! I'm okay."

"I'm just here to change your dressings and see if you need anything. Do you want me to screen the dressing change?"

"I'd like to watch, Angie. May I?"

"You can, angel, but I'll warn you that it may upset you. Can you be brave for me?"

Audra nodded her head. She had been waiting for this, the proof she needed that everybody was fibbing to her. She didn't really understand why everybody would do that, but she just couldn't believe that you could make somebody in to a girl.

"Okay angel, lie back a bit and lift your knees. This may sting a bit, but I'll try to go as gently as I can."

Audra complied with the instructions, feeling very strange as she did so. It didn't seem normal as she watched Angie carefully removing the dressings. It stung a bit, but it wasn't that bad, she had felt worse before. As the last dressing was removed, Audra looked over and down at herself and bit her lip. Outwardly, she tried to look calm, but inside her mind was screaming at her, "It's gone! It's gone!"

Angie sensed Audra tensing at her first sight of her new anatomy. She knew this was a risk, but Dr. Coulson felt it important for Audra to see this when she was ready to ask. Angie's heart was breaking at the obvious mental pain that the girl tried to hide from her, an effort that stemmed from trying to be brave as she promised. Pretending not to notice Audra's reaction, Angie quickly changed the dressing and smoothed the hospital gown back over Audra's knees.

"You were very brave, angel, I'm proud of you. Do you need anything or did you want to sleep?"

"I'd like to sleep, Angie. Thank you."

"Okay angel. Sleep well." Angie responded as she closed the room door behind her. She hurried to call Dr. Coulson.

***

In the darkness, Audra seethed anger at her father. Her mind screamed at her, "He made me into a girl. He must have hated me as a boy because I was small. Why else would he make me a girl?" Over and over again these questions pounded through Audra as she tried to come to grips with what happened. Hot, angry tears streamed down the sides of her face.

Audra's tears were interrupted by the opening of the door and Dr. Coulson walking in. "Hello, Audra, Angie thought that you might need someone to talk to."

"My name isn't Audra, its Aaron."

"I see. Do you hate Audra that much?"

"What?" Audra asked, surprised by the question.

"Do you hate Audra that much?"

"Audra doesn't exist."

"Ah, but she does. Audra is you and you are Audra. Why is that bad?"

"I'm a boy! Not a girl!"

"What's wrong with girls?"

"Nothing."

"Then why would being one be so bad?"

"I don't know, it just is!" Audra shouted, frustrated at the questions. "I hate him!"

"Hate who? Aaron?"

"My dad!"

"Why?"

"He did this to me! He made me a girl, but I'm not a girl!" Audra cried.

"Why would he do that?"

"Because I'm small, not like Ken, and people say I'm cute like a girl."

"You're wrong Audra. I think you need to learn something here. Evil men kidnapped you. They brutally and cruelly tore something away from you because they believed it would destroy you. Your father made his decision because he wanted you to win. Your father believed you were stronger than they. Do you know why he called you 'Audra' after?"

Audra shook her head.

"It means 'noble strength' and he believed that it was a name that demonstrated who you are. Your father loves you beyond all imagining. He didn't do this because he hated who you were. He did this because he loved you and trusted you to succeed."

Audra began crying in deep, wracking sobs as Dr. Coulson's words sunk through the anger and denial that she had been keeping. She was a bright child, she grasped quickly that the doctor had told her the truth.

Notes:

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Comments

Fictionmania

I'd like to put one little question: It seems that its on more parts cutted version of same story which I've read on fictionmania, but how much it was edited? I saw some differences...
Otherwise, I think it is nice story, only that depression stage was quite short. But its individual.

Audra and How Life Can Change

erin's picture

This version is the one originally posted on Classic BigCloset and is a sort of homage to Little Katie's "How Life Can Change" also on Classic BigCloset. Many of the incidents in the early part of Audra are very like HLCC. Audra is being reposted here by Dru, a chapter every other day or so. HLCC will be reposted here later this year, after a re-edit.

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

History of versions

Thank you for brisk reply. But it didn't really answered my question. You made clear it was moved from Classic BCl., so if the version on classic closet was 1.0, here is also 1.0 and on the one on fictionmania is 2.0?

Versions

erin's picture

Since I didn't post or have anything to do with posting the one on FM, I can't answer that question for sureBut since the BCC version was posted in parts starting in April and the FM version was posted in July....

Hmm. I see there's also a all-in-one version on BCC posted in June with the same Redux title as the one on FM.

Confusing. Maybe Joanne will see and reply.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Redux version

Based on user comments, Joanne re-edited the Audra story and posted the Redux version. I believe that both versions are posted on Storysite if you wanted to compare them. In the posting at Storysite, she indicated that chapters 1-6 are pretty much the same with major differences starting with chapter 7 of the Redux version.

Bob

Redux

Joanne did five original chapters and then did the Redux with Chapter 6, Redux was an edit and partial rewrite by Joanne.

Since I was moving stories I decided to do the originals and then post Redux so everyone would know how the story evolved.

Hope I didn't cause too much confusion.

As always,

Dru

As always,

Dru

Not to me

erin's picture

I'm usually like this. :)

I'm just glad you took on the project, Dru.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

The FM version was only the Redux version

I think that only Storysite got the first and second versions, but I can't remember other than I know that Fictionmania only got the Redux version. I know I had posted on Storysite and then Erin asked me for permission to post it on Big Closet (which is why I have always posted any further stories here first!) but I can't remember if that was version 1 or version 2.

The redux version came mostly from feedback from Aardvark. His private commentary, which was very detailed, created, I think, a much better flowing story that made a little more sense. Of course, such a judgment is a function of reader perception, but I do hope that it was so. I also hope that people enjoyed both! (Yeah, yeah, I'm greedy!)

As a further note, Erin's comment at the top is very true. Little Katie and I had some private communications and I explained the motivation to her. Essentially it amounted to me having read her story and deciding that there was a fork in the concept that could also be explored. The initial device, admittedly somewhat a product of the time, was simply to create conditions that were inescapable. Frankly, I don't believe that would ever happen in the real world and I would never wish that on anybody, even myself (though accidental variations, hmm...). Regardless, I never intended that to be the focal point of the story, hence the quick resolution there. The story was an exploration of being trapped in a gender and what that might mean, in conjunction of understanding the bigotry that flows around us. If you think about it, it is a situation that many of us feel right now, except that the "accident" happened in the womb. For those amongst us that don't feel that, well, I hope that maybe the struggle presented here explains it a bit.

Hugs,
Joanne

Y'know

erin's picture

I'd forgotten that I'd asked to post Audra! That's how Little Katie came to be posting at BC, too, I'd asked to post one of her earlier stories.

I don't do that anymore, I don't have time to read all the stories here, let alone go looking on other sites to read stories. :) Unless someone points me at one.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Sad story

This story is so sad, it must be so hard for that child to have to go through that. I can't say I agree with the methods used. I just hope that Aaron/Audra can be happy in the end. Because otherwise the pain of being transgendered may be too much for him/her to bear. I Know it's extremely hard for me sometimes, that's why I constantly have to be on meds and see therapists. Anyway, I hope this story turns out well, and even if it doesn't, it's still a good reading and I enjoyed your writing :D Good job :D Maybe I'll post one someday in here? When I'm feeling confident enough, I'm just too scared to write one right now T_T

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Just a normal tg girl in a cruel cruel world.

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D