What happens when a male is invited for a sleepover at a girl's house?
by Barbara Lynn Terry
It started out slow and then gained speed as it crept up on me. I didn't know it was even there. But when it hit me, it was like I got run over by a semi truck. All of my life I have had been told by many of my friends, all of them girls, that I was more like a girl than a boy. I would ask them why they said that and they said that I don't look at other girls the way guys do. When I am in public I sit with my legs together and I sit I don't pounce on the chair or sofa like guys do. When we play games, I seem to play more for fun than competition and if I don't win I don't want to have a rematch, like so many guys do, until they win one, then brag about it. I don't do that. And when the girls go shopping, I seem to have more fun with them than I would chasing girls. My girl friends have always been honest with me, telling me what they see through their eyes. I was fourteen when my girl friend told me one day that I should be wearing panties instead of pants. I kind of blushed at that, I didn't get angry or try to deny it, I just blushed. Then one day, when there were four of us girls together, I was invited for a sleep over. I asked them what would I wear as I didn't have any pajamas at home, and one of them said I could borrow a baby doll from her. I blushed again and I was told I look very pretty when I blush the way I do. This is the story of that sleepover.
BARBARA LYNN TERRY
My name is Kim and I am five foot four inches tall. I am fourteen years old, and have very feminine facial features. My hair is just below my shoulders, and I wear jeans that have designs on them, like roses on my back pockets, or a long stem rose on one of the legs. I even have a pair of jeans with a forest scene on them. It was this time in my life when I began to wear panties as undergarments and a cami for an undershirt. I started wearing girls crew socks, when I wasn't going anywhere special and in many colors too. Of course my parents thought I was fem gay, but then one day I sat down in the living room when they were both home and told them I would rather be a girl than a boy, cause girls have way too much fun, especially when we are in a group. (Giggle) My dad just stared at me for what seemed an eternity, then he came over to me and held out his hand. I placed the palm of my hand in his and he stood me up and gave me a hug. Then he said something I was totally unprepared for, as he placed both hands gently on my shoulders.
"Honey, I want you to know, boy or girl, I love you and I just want you to be who you really are in your soul," as he pointed to my heart.
I looked at the floor and started to cry. He lifted my head up and wiped the tears and then hugged me again. I just let him hold me until the tears stopped. My mother came over too and we had a group hug. I think it was then she knew I was a girl forever, cause she stated:
"Kim honey, only a girl could cry like this when she is loved by her entire family. I know I do from time to time too. We love you, no matter who you want to be. The girls you hang around with seem to be very nice, especially when they can be honest with you. But your father and I are glad that your not gay. I was doing some checking when you started changing your clothes from boys to girls. You're what they call transsexual. That means you have had these feelings for many years, probably from birth. Did you know the real reason I named you Kim, was because I wanted a girl? Kim Leigh is such nice feminine name and if you would like we can take you to a doctor and have you put on hormone therapy so that your body can develop like a girl's. Would you like that, dear?"
"Ye...yes mother, I would like that very much. I also want to help you around the house too and learn to sew and be able to make my own dresses and skirts, maybe a pair of jeans here and there too. Mom, When I go to school, can I go as Kim Leigh, the girl? I would like to start living like the girl I am."
"Yes dear. But first we need to have you see a psychiatrist so that they can determine there is no mental illness involved in your decision to be a girl. Would that be okay?"
"Yes mom, it would."
"Good. I have already made an appointment for you with Dr. Barbara St. Clair. She works on Saturdays too so she can see children who are in school. She told me she will be taking you out completely dressed as a girl. She will treat you to lunch, cause she wants to see how you act in public. Do you think that would be all right?"
Yes mom, but the only girl clothes I have are my underwear, socks and jeans. I don't have any skirts or dresses."
"Well dear, we can take care of that right now. What say we go shopping so I can buy my daughter some new clothes all her own?"
"Really mom!" I exclaimed not hiding my joy.
"Yes really, silly. Now, I think you hair needs a little tending to. I'm only going to put it in a pony tail for now. You know like your girl friends wear theirs."
"Okay mom. That sounds really cool."
So she went to get a hair brush and a nice clip on bow. It was periwinkle in color, not too big and not too small. It was a nice accessory to my jeans and tee. Then mom brought me out a bra and told me to go in the bath room to put it on. She came with me to see if I could do it myself, which I did.
"I'm really proud of you dear. How did you learn to put on a bra like that?"
"Sometimes when I'm with the girls, they let me dress up in one of their outfits from the skin out. So the first time I was shown how to put one on and fasten it."
"Wow! Is there anything I can teach you, or not?"
"Yes mom, there is a lot that you can teach me and I would be proud to learn it from you too."
She gave me a big hug and said, "that's my girl."
With my bra on and my hair in a nice feminine pony tail, mom and I headed out for the shops. Dad stayed home, cause he doesn't like "girl" shopping as he calls it (giggle). But that was okay too cause this gave mom and me time to spend quality mother/daughter time together. And what better way to spend it than to go shopping. So we got in the car and headed for downtown. Main Street is quite busy on Friday evenings maybe cause everyone got their paychecks (giggle). Uhm oh yeah I forgot, I giggle a lot (giggle). So anyway, the first store we came to was a lingerie shoppe. The Under Things it was called, and right beneath that it said "we make girls FEEL pretty." We parked the car and went in. A nice lady about my mother's age came over and greeted us.
"Marge, it's good of you to come in again. And this must be Kim. Hi Kim, I'm Betty, a long time friend of your mother's. I have a lot of things for you to look at and see if you may like them. So why don't we go over here and you can pick out some panties. We have everything from briefs to thongs. You just take your time, there is no hurry. Your mother and I are going to get a little more reacquainted."
I said okay and began to look through the lingerie. Some were in a pile on a table and some were in panty and bra sets on hangers hung on a rack. These sets looked very pretty and since I already knew what bra size I would be wearing I picked out four sets and five separate panties in hi cut and in bikini styles. They were nice colors too. Pink, lavender, black, leopard print and one in red with lots of lace. I then went over to where the slips were, and picked out five half slips, the same color as the panties, and three full slips. I picked out five camis in the those colors too. Laden with my purchases I took them to the counter and Betty asked me if that was all and I said "for now, anyway (giggle)." She smiled a knowing smile and rang them all up. after paying Betty with the promise to invite her over for dinner every once in a while, we left.
"How did you like Betty, dear?"
"She's nice mom. How long have you known her?"
"We met years ago in high school, honey. We were best friends then and we still are."
"That's great mom. It's good to have friends."
"Yes it is honey."
"Uhm mom? I have something to tell you. I also picked out a teddy and a baby doll. I've been invited to a sleepover at Marcia's house. Her Mom said it would be okay cause Marcia told her mom I was in transition and her mom said it would be okay cause I could learn a lot from Marcia on being a teenage girl."
"That is so great, Kim. I think that's a good idea. A girl your own age can teach you a lot about being young today. So, I finally have the daughter I've only been able to dream about. Thank you so much, Kim dear."
She gave me a big squeeze hug, "you're welcome mom and I'm glad to have friends like Marcia and Suzy and the gang. We all hang around together. Marcia told me her mom said there is safety in numbers, especially if you're a girl."
"And she is so right dear. You never know what kind of lunatic is out there waiting to do whatever. Especially where young girls are concerned. I know Marcia, Suzy and Della. Are there more of you in your little group?"
"Yes mom, there are eight of us all together."
"That's good, a nice female number."
"Oh it's numerology dear. Numbers like one, three, five, seven, nine are male numbers and two, four, six, eight and ten are female numbers. I used to have my future read according to the numbers but it didn't turn out the way the numbers said. But I did marry a nine though while he keeps saying he married a ten (giggle)."
"K, well, I know I'm going to like being a girl," I said as I laid my head just below her right shoulder. She held me there stroking my hair and just being glad she had the daughter she longed for all these years.
The next store was a dress shoppe, where they had everything from fancy to everyday wear. The lady's name is Cathy and she is my mother's age also. Cathy has nice long light brown hair with natural highlights, big sparkling blue eyes, and quite a figure. She was someone my mother met back in her high school days also.
"Hi Marge, it is so nice to see you. What has it been, three years? What can I do for you today?"
"My daughter needs some new clothes and we're on a shopping spree today to get her some."
"Well, sounds like you're going to have fun today. Well just go ahead and look around, if you need any help, just let me know."
While mom and Cathy went to talk, I looked through the dresses. I was lost in a sea of colors and fabrics. I picked out three dresses, four skirts and four tops. Then I saw a dress that was just pure heaven. It was pure chiffon in a light lavender. I took it to the dressing room and tried it on with all the others, and it fit perfectly. I asked mom if I could get it and she looked at me with a certain twinkle in her eye.
"Yes sweetheart, you can get that too. Every girl should have at least one party dress for special occasions."
Everything fit and we paid for them and told Cathy that we would invite her over dinner some night, then we left for home. I got my clothes in my room and started hanging them up in my closet. When I finished, I went back downstairs to talk to mom and dad, and help mom with dinner. When dinner was over we all sat in the living room and just talked about how I enjoyed the day out with mom. I did, I really did enjoy being able to have mother/daughter quality time with mom. It was time for bed all too soon and I gave mom and dad a kiss and a hug and went to bed telling her goodnight and sweet dreams. She said the same to me. I went upstairs took a quick shower and got into my new teddy. It is lime green with a forest scene on it. I love clothes with forest scenes, cause I like animals. I have a kitten named Honey and she is the sweetest thing. Sometimes I will wake up in the morning to see her curled up at the foot of my bed. Mom has a picture of one of those times. It is so cute. I went to sleep almost immediately, but darn it, morning comes way too quickly (giggle).
I got up and went in to run a bath. Lavender bubble bath today cause I want to look my absolute best for Dr. St. Clair. The doctor is a woman and I think I'm going to like seeing her. After my bath, I went and got dressed. I picked out a floral print skirt I got yesterday, a black, three quarter sleeve shirt, with a long stem rose from the bottom left to the top right in the front. My leopard print panty and bra set and my leopard print half slip. I put on a pair of white knee hi socks and a pair of black Mary Jane's. The effect of a little thigh and knee showing between the skirt hem and the tops of the socks was what I was looking for. I put my hair up in a high pony tail with a lavender ribbon I tied into a nice bow. I put on a little light lip color and went downstairs only to be greeted by my parents, my brother who is an absolute pest, and Dr. St. Clair.
"Hi Kim. I'm Dr. Barbara St. Clair. I'm very happy to meet you, dear."
"Hi Dr. St. Clair. Would you like a cup of coffee or some tea maybe?"
"Why how nice, a very charming hostess. Yes dear, a cup of tea would be fine, thank you."
I went into the kitchen to prepare the tea and I cut a little tea ring to go with it. I placed everything on a serving tray including the sugar and cream. I took it into the living room and set it down bending my knees as I did so. I poured a cup of tea for Doctor St. Clair and handed it to her.
"Dr. St. Clair, here is your tea ma'am, please leave a tip under your saucer when you are through (giggle)." We all giggled at that and then I sat down smoothing my skirt underneath me and keeping my legs together while I sat. I sat there with my hands folded in my lap, waiting to be addressed by the adults.
"Uhm Kim? Aren't you having any, dear?" Dr. St. Clair asked.
"No thank you, ma'am, too many calories for me."
"So Kim, your mother tells me you want to be a girl. Is that right?"
"Oh yes Dr. St. Clair. I've wanted to be a girl like forever. I mean all of my friends are girls and we have a lot of fun when we're together. I've been invited for a sleepover at one of my friend's houses and she is going to show me things on how to really be a teenage girl."
"Well, I must say that is very nice of her. And, what does her mother say about that?"
"Marcia says her mother thinks I can learn a lot from Marcia on being a teenage girl today. Marcia told her I'm already in transition, so her mom said okay."
"You know Kim, I tell all my patients parents that love and understanding are very crucial to a transsexual child. But I can see here that there is no reason to do that. I see you have a lot of support and love here and that is very good. Today Kim, I'm going to take you shopping for a few little things and then I'm going to take you to lunch. Would that be okay, Kim?"
"Yes Dr. St. Clair. That would be very nice. Could I have a friend come along with us? Please???"
"Who would you like to come with you? Marcia?"
"Yes Dr. St. Clair, Marcia. She is my best friend and we share a lot of things together. Can I call her and have her come with us? Please???"
Smiling the good doctor said, "of course, dear. I would love to have Marcia come with us. Especially if it will make you more comfortable talking to me."
I skipped over to the phone and called Marcia. I told her exactly what was going on today and asked her if she would come with us.
"Yes Kim. I would be very delighted to come with you. I know Dr. Barbara St. Clair and she is number one with her patients. I'm glad its her you're seeing. I'll be over in about half and hour. Okay?"
"Okay Marcia, see ya then."
I hung up the phone and looked at Dr. St. Clair with a puzzled expression. "Is there something wrong, dear," she asked.
"Do you know Marcia Spelling, Dr. St. Clair?"
"Yes Kim, as well as her parents and sister."
"Uhm do you mean Denise?"
"Yes. Denise used to be Dennis. I helped her through transition also."
"Wow! That must have been before I met her. Denise is one of my friends too. She is very nice."
"Yes, she is Kim. And from what I have seen here today, I know we are going to have a great day."
"I'll get the door, that must be Marcia." It was. Marcia came in and walked right up to Dr. St. Clair and gave her a big hug.
"Why thank you Marcia, dear. How is Denise doing these days?"
"She is graduating from college next year. Yep Doctor, she will be a senior and she is going to be a psychologist. She is doing just great. She wants to help transgendered people like herself and Kim."
"That's good to hear, Marcia. I'm glad things are working out for her. Well we need to be going." I gave my mom and dad a big hug, stuck my tongue out at my brother, and we left.
When we got in the car, Dr. St. Clair spoke up. "You know Kim, you remind of another patient I'm seeing. Her name is Allison and she is going to be ten years old this summer. I think you two should meet some day. I'll see if I can give you her address. I have to ask both of your parents first."
"Uhm do you mean Allison Kingston, Dr. St. Clair? She goes to the elementary school. Everyone just loves her. And she has a lot of nice friends too."
"I sometimes wish I could be in the girl squad but, I'm kinda scared to ask."
"Why dear? Why are you scared to ask?"
"I don't know. I just kinda am."
"Well young lady, you have nothing to fear from Allison and Chrissie. They are two of the nicest girls I know."
"Okay, I guess it wouldn't hurt to say hi then."
"That's my girl. You know though, with friends like Marcia, you aren't doing so bad yourself. Uhm first stop is Woolworth's over on Main Street. I want to get you a present that all girls should have."
We parked in the parking lot and went in Woolworth's. We went to the stationary department, where Dr. St. Clair picked out a nice diary with a pretty cover. On the cover was a Bo Peep design complete with a grazing sheep. It was so cool.
"Every girl needs a diary to keep her private thoughts in. Things like a boy you like, or being invited over to Marcia's for a sleepover, or just private thoughts that come up once in a while. Do you Like this one Kim?"
"Oh yes, Dr. St. Clair. It is so pretty on the cover. Thank you ever so much."
"You're welcome dear. Also, this pen is for your diary. You can buy refills for it when you run out of ink."
"Oh My God, Marcia, just look at this! A diary and a pen to write in it with. This is so cool."
Marcia smiled and said she was happy for me. Then we went out of Woolworth's and we went into the beauty parlor next door. The lady at the front desk looked at Dr. St. Clair and gave me a wink.
"Well Hi Dr. St. Clair. Are we doing both young ladies today or just Kim?"
"Just Kim, Donna. This is Marcia, one of Kim's friends who is going teach Kim what she needs to know."
"That is so great. Kim? Right this way," she said looking straight at me. Did she know, was I that obvious? I will have to ask. As I was seated in the chair, I asked Donna, a nice lady about mid-twenties, with golden hair and a nice complexion. "Donna? When you said my name, you looked right at me. Is there something wrong with my clothes or lip color?"
"Oh my god young lady! Of course not! I looked directly at you cause you were standing closest to Dr. St. Clair, and had that expression of awe on your face seeing a beauty salon for the first time. You are a very pretty young lady and don't let anyone tell you different."
"Thanks Donna, and I won't." We all giggled at that and then it was time for the beautifying torture as women like to call it (giggle). I won't bore you with the details, as we have all been through the washes, curlers, pins, and dryers. the only nice thing about the salon is the result. When it is completely done, we are beautiful (giggle). Dr. St. Clair paid for the treatments, and I mean treatments I even had a mud facial. Ewwwwwwww. (Giggle). But we all go through it. The things we girls have to do to make you guys whistle and not look where you are going. (Giggle).
"Kim? Dr. St. Clair said that you were invited to a sleep over. I think that's great. Girls need each other to bond with. I'll see you around and don't be a stranger."
"Okay Donna, and thanks. I like the way I look."
"Why thank you Kim. I'll be sure to do the same next time."
We left and then Dr. St. Clair said it was lunch time, so we went back in Woolworth's and sat down in a booth. Woolworth's has nice food, from salads to complete dinners. When I ordered I only said, "garden salad, please." Dr. St. Clair ordered a salad also, but the chef's salad and Marcia just ordered an orange juice. We sat there and talked while we ate about nothing in particular, just mainly girl talk. Marcia told Dr. St. Clair what she had planned for teaching me the ropes as she called it.
"Doctor, I think we will start with the sleepover. Kim has got to know that girls trust each other no matter what package they wear. We will show her how to wear makeup properly so that it looks really natural. We will teach her how to dress for certain occasions, including everyday bumming around. It will be really nice. She will be a girl by the time school starts again. Not that she isn't already."
"I quite agree Marcia. I think Kim is very feminine and will make an excellent girl."
"Thank you, Dr. St. Clair," I said back.
"In fact young lady, when we get back to your house, I will want to talk with you and your mother some more. I think it's time we get your gender changed officially in time for school. With my recommendation, you won't have any problems with the children's court. That is where you have to go to get your gender officially changed."
"Okay Dr. St. Clair. I would like that a whole lot."
"Good. Okay ladies, I think it's time we get back."
We went out to the car and drove home. I was just a chatter box cause I was so excited about the events of the day and the nice presents that Dr. St. Clair bought me. We sat in the back seat and Marcia I didn't shut up until we got into the driveway and then just long enough to get out of the car. Then we started right up again. Dr. St. Clair followed us into the house and we went upstairs and let the adults talk. I think I heard Dr. St. Clair call my name, but I didn't listen cause I was just chattering away with Marcia.
"Oh doctor, just leave them they're just being silly young girls. Remember when we were like that." I heard my mother say as we went into my room.
I don't exactly know where the time went but before I knew it my mother was calling us down for dinner. Marcia was invited too as my mom already talked to hers. Dr. St. Clair stayed for dinner too.
"Well Kim? Did you like what we did today?"
"Oh yes ma'am, I really did."
"Do you remember my telling you about Allison?"
"She is in the hospital right now, going through the first phase of her transition. For Allison, this is the point of no return. How would you like to go to a birthday party at an all girls camp later this summer? Even better, how would like to go to camp. I can arrange it, you know?"
"Uhm Doctor, I would love to go to a party. But not with just Marcia. I would like all my friends to come with us too."
"Oh My God! I swear girl. You are more like Allison, every time I talk to you. Always worried about your friends. And that is good Kim, very good. It shows you have a decent heart and you care about others. Yes young lady, you so much remind me of Allison Dawn Kingston. And the answer is yes, your friends can all come along and enjoy the party."
I jumped up and ran to her and gave her the biggest hug I could. "Allison, oops I mean, Kim, my god girl. If I didn't know you were of another family I'd swear you and Allison were sisters." We all giggled.
I like Dr. St. Clair. She doesn't act like a doctor but more like a friend you can call in time of trouble, sadness or just talk to for...oh...just because. It is good for this doctor to be my friend and I am looking forward to meeting Allison. We talked some more about the camp and found out it was an all girls camp where they will take transsexual boys who can pass for girls. So we talked some more and found out I could even be an assistant camp counselor. That would be very cool.
"But Kim, if your friends can go with you, would you like to go to camp?"
"Oh yes Dr. St. Clair, I really would love that. I can get some sun and swimming and all kinds of things and best of all I get to do them as a girl."
"Good for you young lady. I will make all the arrangements. But just remember, young lady, when you go to camp, you must be on your absolute very best behavior. Understand?"
"Not to worry Dr. St. Clair. I will definitely behave myself. I can even meet new friends too."
"Yes you can. Why don't you stop by the hospital and see Allison. She is on the children's floor, girls ward. Just give the nurse your name and who you want to see. I'll leave your name with the nurses station. Now, if you don't mind, young lady, I have a patient to see. I have to check for infections. Be good now and I will see you next week."
"I will Dr. St. Clair and thank you again for the nice presents and a very nice day."
"You're welcome Kim. Goodnight."
Marcia and I went to my room and as soon as we closed the door we held each other's hands and jumped around in a circle for a little bit. Then I flopped down on my bed backwards.
"I've died and gone to Heaven, that's what. I had so much fun today I don't want it to end."
"Me too, Kim, me too."
We hugged each other and I walked Kim to the door. we said good night and I went in the kitchen to talk to mom.
"Mom, did I just wake up from a dream?"
"Why do you ask that dear?"
"I had so much fun today. Oh My God! I think I've died and gone to heaven."
"You are so silly. Of course you've died and gone to heaven and this is what Heaven is. Love, acceptance and understanding. Heaven is all of that and more though. It is having nice friends you can count on, even your psychiatrist, who doesn't charge every time you call her. Yes Kim dear, you have died and gone to Heaven."
"Oh mom, stop (giggle)."
"Okay dear, well, it's time for bed anyway."
I gave mom a hug and kiss good night told her sweet dreams and she said the same to me. I went up to my room and got out my teddy and headed for a quick shower. Always wash off the days dirt before getting into a clean nightie and a clean bed. I'm a girl, I'm going to camp, I'm going to meet Allison tomorrow, my mom and dad love me as their daughter and the world is a good place to live. I'm going to like being a girl.
CHAPTER 2 - Allison
I got up the next morning and decided to wear my Sunday best. After church I'm going to visit Allison at the hospital, so I need to look my very best. I asked mom to come and put my hair up and then I got dressed. I didn't care that my mom was in the room. After all, she brought me into the world and changed my diapers how many times? But Marcia said girls do undress in front of other girls, and don't feel embarrassed about it like guys do in front of each other (giggle). As I got dressed mom watched me. I put on my pink bra and panty set, my pink full slip, and my very nice, lacy pink Sunday dress. I took my nylons and sat on my vanity bench, and rolled them up my legs with ease. I stepped into my black two inch pumps, and I was ready to meet the day.
"How did you learn to dress yourself like that. I couldn't have done any better myself. Oh honey, you are natural for a girl. I'm glad I have my daughter."
"Thanks mom, I'm glad to be your daughter too. Is dad ready to go to church?"
"Yes dear, he's waiting on us ... as usual (giggle)."
"(Giggle) Okay Mom, I'm ready, so let's go."
We headed downstairs and out the front door to the car. The church we go to is the Lutheran church on the west side of town. The people there are very nice. The pastor just came from doing his part in St. Lucia which is an island in the Caribbean. He even brought slides to show us how beautiful it is there. He also doesn't look down on people like me, which is a blessing in itself. Our pastor doesn't preach like many of them do, but he talks about the Bible and what the message in it means. We all like this church cause it is very friendly. The pastor talked about Jesus and what He went through just before He was crucified. I shuddered to think that something like that could ever happen. Anyway I was glad to get away from there after that, cause I wanted to see Allison at the hospital.
"Mom, dad? Are you coming up to see Allison too?"
"Yes dear, we are. Your father and I were talking about it last night and we both agreed we should meet this extraordinary young lady, whose heart has captured many."
"That's sounds funny when you say it like that mom. But I'm glad you're coming up with me."
We got to the hospital and parked in the visitors parking area and went to the second floor where the children's wards were. We got off of the elevator and Dr. St. Clair was just getting on, as we were getting off. Then she got off too.
"Kim! Mr and Mrs. Dawson! Did you come to see Allison?"
"Yes we did Dr. St. Clair. How is she feeling?"
"A little sore, but that will go away. Come on, I will introduce you to her. You'll like her Kim, she is very much like you are." We followed her to Allison's room, and I peeked in sheepishly before actually going in.
"Hi Allison," Dr. St. Clair said. "I brought you some new visitors. I thought that maybe we could talk awhile. Kim Dawson, this is Allison Dawn Kingston. Allison this is Kim. She is like you are, and will be going to camp with you this summer. How does that sound, Allison?"
"Oh my god, Doctor, I would love to have a new friend at camp. Hi Kim I'm glad to meet you. How do you like being a girl?"
"Oh my god, Allison, it is the greatest feeling in the world. When you have the love and understanding of your parents, everything seems to be all right in the world. I love everything there is about being a girl. The friends, the clothes, the love, the understanding and acceptance, being able to help my mom and having my mom and my friends teach what I need to learn. I'm fourteen Allison. I hear you'll be ten this summer and that you're having your birthday party at camp."
"Oh yes Kim. And you'll like it at this camp. Everyone gets along with everyone else. We have a crafts contest and whoever has the best judged craft, gets a free summer at camp the next year. It is really great. My cabin counselor's name is Betty and she is the greatest. Me and the girl squad will be there together. Do you have any friends you can bring, Kim?"
"Oh yes, Allison, I do, and we're going to be there too. Maybe we can help do a community craft between us and then we can all win a free summer at camp next year. Wouldn't that be great, Allison?"
"Oh my god yes it would and we could all work together. That sounds really neat, Kim. I'll talk to the girl squad and tell them what we talked about and see what they think. I think they'll go along with it, though. You know though, you're a little old for the girl squad, but would you like to be my older sister?"
"Oh yes Allison, I would love that. All I have is a bratty brother who is a major pest." We giggled and then Allison said something I was totally unprepared for.
"Kim, would come and hold me, I feel a little scared in here without friends around my own age to hug."
"Of course I will give you a hug and a big one, and I promise not let you go until you say or until I have to." So I went over and gave Allison, my little sister, a big hug and just sat there holding her. Her hands were tight around my back, so I could really tell she was scared.
I looked at my parents with sad eyes cause my little sister was scared. My mom just nodded an understanding nod that she knew how sad a person can get when they are lonely.
"Allison, how long are you going to be here?"
"Until Saturday, cause Dr. St. Clair wants to run some tests too."
"Okay little sister, I'll promise you this. I'll come to see you everyday until you get out. I'll even call too as I see you have a phone in here."
"Yes not all the private rooms have a phone. You have to ask for it to be brought in and hooked up. But Dr. St. Clair said she wanted one in here, so they put one in. I would just love to talk to you on the phone and have you come to visit me, Kim."
"I will, I promise you Allison. Hey! Let's pinky swear okay."
"Ooooookaaaaayyyy." So we hooked our little fingers together and did the pinky swear thing and now it was sealed forever, girl to girl.
"Allison, when you go home, I'll come over there too and visit. OH MY GOD, GIRLFRIEND! I've been invited for a sleepover for a couple of nights at my friend Marcia's house. Maybe I can bring Marcia up too. She's really sweet, though. She's a natural girl and she is going to teach me how to be a teenage girl. Isn't that great, Allison?"
"Oh yes that is really super. I have a natural girl friend too. Her name is Chrissie. We adopted each other as sisters a very long time ago. She's the one who told me who I was and I'm glad she did."
"Wow, just like Marcia told me I was more a girl than a boy. We should all get together."
"Yes, I think that would be great. You'll like the girls in the girl squad. They're really cool."
I got so lost in talking with Allison, that I noticed the adults weren't in the room anymore. But I didn't care. I found a new friend who I now considered a sister, and it was a great feeling. Allison, then released her hold on me, and she laid back down. But we were still talking. When my parents came back in with Dr. St. Clair I was told it was time to leave cause Allison needed to get some rest. I gave Allison a big hug and a sisterly kiss and told her I would be back and that I would talk with her on the phone.
"That's great Kim. Good night sis."
"Good night sis, sweet dreams."
CHAPTER 3 - The sleepover
When we got home, I packed a few things for the sleepover at Marcia's. You know, makeup, curlers, pins, a skirt, one dress and a pair of jeans, not to mention the tops to go with the skirt and jeans. Mom came in my room and looked at my things.
"My god, girl! You're only going over to Marcia's for a couple of nights, and you look like your packing for a couple of years. (Giggle)."
"But mom, what if we go out? I have to look my best. I mean, what if I meet a boy or something. I'd just die if I didn't look great."
"I understand completely, dear. I was only joking. And I hope you do meet a nice boy. Someone who can treat you like a young lady and not like these ruffians who call themselves 'cool'."
"Mom? You wouldn't be mad at me if I went out with a boy?"
"No dear. Girls are supposed to have dates when they get to be around your age. But, it would be very nice to tell the young man too that you are in transition so there can be no sex involved. Just a platonic relationship for now. Doctor's orders. Oh, but you will know what to do when that time comes. You are girl enough to keep a boy wrapped around that little finger of yours and keep him there. When you treat boys with a little bit of mystery in your voice and the way you do things, they will fall over silly trying to please you in any way that you say. I'm glad you're thinking about boys honey, cause in a few short years, you will be completely female and be able to marry. You won't be able to deliver a child like a natural female, but there is adoption. So, okay. Are you ready to go over to Marcia's?"
"Yes Mom, I'm ready."
"Okay I'll meet you in the car, dear."
I grabbed my overnight bag, my kaboodle and my purse and went downstairs. I stopped and gave dad a big hug and kiss and told him I loved him.
"I love you too, sweetheart. Have a nice time at Marcia's."
"Thanks dad, I will. Bye."
I got in the car and mom drove to Marcia's house where she was waiting for us as we parked in front of the house. Marcia came out and helped me with my things.
"My god Kim, are you moving in?"
We all giggled and I said, "sure, why not." We giggled again.
"Kim, we are going to be doing some serious girl things for the next couple of days and I want you to watch what we do and see if you can do it by yourself. Okay?"
"That would be great, Marcia. Yes I would like that."
"Well first thing is, we don't need to do anything with your hair. But, we will be showing you how to wear makeup so that you don't look like a clown. Did you bring any dresses or skirts with you?"
"Yes, one dress, and one skirt set, along with my favorite jeans and a couple of tops. I also brought along a few pairs of under things too, just in case."
"Now that is the girl thinking. That is good. Also, we are going to show you how to wear a sanitary napkin. It will help a lot when you wear jeans and shorts, especially if we are going to camp. Nothing to be embarrassed about cause every girl needs to wear them at least for a week every month. And, it helps to change them regular too, that way other girls will think you are going through your cycle. I know you know about hygiene, and it is important to keep that up, cause girls HAVE TO BE cleaner than guys. All the time. Do you put body lotion on after you take a bath or a shower?"
"Oh yes and powder too."
"Good girl. No wonder you smell so nice. Well, at least you know how to that. Do you have hair on your legs yet, Kim?"
"Yes, and I shave them once a week, cause it doesn't grow to quick."
"Good. Has Dr, St. Clair given you a time when you will go through your first procedure?"
"No, not yet anyway. She wants me to go to children's court to get my gender changed from male to female and then she is going to start me on hormone therapy."
"Okay, that sounds like a plan. The other girls should be here shortly and we all talked about what we are going to do for the next couple of days. Would you like to go out with us too. maybe meet some boys, for the first time as a girl?"
"I would like that. I talked to mom about that and she girls my age should have a few dates with a boy. But she also said no sex, and to make sure he understands that the doctor won't allow me to any sex. Mom said boys like to do that when they are with girls."
"Yes they do, Kim. My mom would kill me if she knew I had sex with a boy. But I keep him wrapped around this little finger."
"Oh MY God! That's what my mom told me. She said to wrap him around my little finger and show a bit of mystery in my voice and what I do. That way he will fall over silly to please me."
"Well, I see your mom has given you 'the talk'. That's good, cause now you will know what to expect from a boy and you must make is absolutely clear to him, what he will expect from you. It's good that you have that type of common sense. My mother has met my boyfriend, and my dad had a long talk with him the first couple of times he came over. So he knows not to try anything. I watched you when we were with Dr. St. Clair. You are a natural when it comes to being a girl. It's like I kept telling you. You are more girl than boy, and you won't be a boy, or should I say male much longer, cause you have to go through your transition in the next year to able to enjoy the world of being female. Not that you're not enjoying that now but, after transition is complete, you will enjoy it much more and you will have feelings and emotions you don't have yet."
"Like what, Marcia?"
"Well like for instance, you will get sad a lot, cry over the darndest things, even unimportant ones."
"Oh! Like at the hospital, Allison wanted me to hold her cause she was scared being there by herself. I got really sad cause she was scared."
"That's what I mean. But, that sadness will increase once you are on hormone therapy. You will also be doing a lot of what you see us do too, as far as your emotions go. Female emotions are complicated and not easy to explain. You actually have to experience them to know what I'm saying."
"Okay. I just want to be happy. My parents said they want me to just be who I am in my soul. It is so great to have friends like you and the gang, Marcia and to be able to be accepted by my parents. It is a great feeling."
"That's right, girlfriend. And we will teach you everything you need to know too, and we will have fun while we do it. At least we don't need to teach you how to dress, sit or eat like a girl. How long has it been now? Three years that we have had you dress like a girl in secret, and now you can do it all the time. I'm glad you told your parents, cause I was afraid that one day they would find out anyway."
"Well, the thought I was gay, and when i told them I'd rather be a girl, they both gave me the biggest hugs. My dad even said he loved me for I am and not whether I'm a boy or a girl, but to be who I am in my soul. I cried in his arms when told me that."
"That's exactly what I mean, Kim. That type of crying is because you are so happy cause something nice has happened to you. You are very fortunate Kim, to have understanding parents."
"I'm just lucky to have my parents and my friends. I know that people aren't always so understanding. I hope I don't have any trouble at school this fall, cause I will be there as a girl from now on."
"Well, if you do, don't hesitate to let us know. Okay?"
"I won't. Hey! Is that the doorbell?"
"Yep, they're here. let's go meet them together."
We went down and greeted the gang as they came in. Suzy and Della were the first one's in and then came Sparky. I never did know Sparky's real first name, but she was nice. Suzy and Della are the same age as me, Sparky is just a year younger. I looked out the door to see if there was anyone else coming and got a real surprise.
"Denise!" I yelled as I ran and gave her a big hug. "How are you girl? You look really nice. Is that a new dress? Oh my god, Denise have I got something to tell you. OH! and by the way. You are to call Dr. St. Clair and tell her what you've been up to." I gave her that fake mean stare, and we giggled.
"Do you know Dr. St. Clair, Kim?"
"Yes, she is going to be my doctor through my transition. She seems to be very glad that things are working out for you. so, you're gonna be a senior this coming fall. I am so happy for you. How are things going at college?"
"Just great. My boyfriend is trying to find a parking place, and yes he knows I am transsexual. You'll meet him shortly. He is very nice. He's a psych major too and we have the same classes. So it works out for the both of us."
"That's good Denise. I am so happy for you, girl. Marcia and the girls are going to teach me a few things about being a teenage girl. Most things I already know, but she and the gang are going to teach me what I don't know. And I'm going be here for a few days."
"That's great, Kim. We are going to have such a wonderful time. Did you know I'm going to be part of your lessons. I will help the girls with what they don't know about being transsexual. There is a lot to learn there and I want you pay close attention. Okay?"
"Sure Denise. I will be glad to learn from you too."
"Good girl. Now! We're not all going to be serious all the time though. We are going to have fun too. I and the girls will help you meet a boy you can go out with. Did you talk to your mom about boys, yet?"
"Yes, I did. She said I'm girl enough to know how to wrap him around my little finger and keep him there." (Giggle).
"Yes you are, Kim. You are very much a girl and I'm proud to call you sister."
I gave her a big hug when she said that. It was important for me to know that coming from Denise. I've known her like forever, and she is very nice. When i was in my preteens, she used to buy me sodas, and watch me when my parents were out. So now she is my big sister. That means a lot coming from her.
"Okay, well I better say hi to mom and dad, or they'll think I'm ignoring them (giggle)."
"Okay Denise. I'll be in Marcia's room."
"Okay little sister, see ya soon."
While she went to see her parents and give and get hugs, I went to Marcia's room where we just sat around talking about things. Suzy and Della were talking about their boyfriends and what pests guys can be. I listened to what they said, and then Suzy asked me.
"Kim, are you going to have a boyfriend? It is so nice, especially when they buy you things and take you to a movie or for a burger and fries. When they hold you in their strong arms, it is really nice to feel safe. Then we go dancing too. When you get your boyfriend Kim, you'll see what I mean."
"I think I have an idea. When I told my parents about wanting to be a girl, my dad held me in his arms and I felt really safe there. I felt like I was a little girl again being comforted."
"That's the feeling but, when you get on hormone therapy, that feeling of insecurity will hit you hard and you will want to cuddle up with your boyfriend. It makes you feel that nothing in the world can harm you, with him there. Boys are pests at best, but they do have a caring side to them too. When you get a boyfriend, you'll see what I mean."
"Kim?" Della asked. "Did you bring any jeans with you?"
"Yes Della, I did. Why?"
"I want you to go in the bathroom and change into them. I also want you to take this sanitary napkin, fold it like this, and place it down there, inside your panties. Then put on your jeans and come out. Okay?"
I went into the bathroom and placed the sanitary napkin just as Della showed me, pulled on my jeans and went back to Marcia's room. As I walked into the room, they were all looking at me as I walked toward the bed.
"Yep, she is a natural. You look just like a teenage girl down there. Good girl. I think we're not going to have to teach you a whole lot. I would like you to start learning how to do hair though. You're gonna have to sooner or later cause you will have to your own. So, now's the time to get started. Nothing really fancy, just simple sets."
"Okay Della, i would love to learn how do my hair. I also would like to learn how to my makeup better and my nails too."
"That's the spirit. We will show you all of that. And, if you learn as quick as you did with the sanitary napkin, I know we're gonna have a great time and fun too."
For the next couple of hours, I watched as the girls did each other's hair. Della braided Suzy's hair and Marcia put rollers and clips in Della's. Now I have a portable hair dryer. The thing makes such a noise though, but it works. So I brought that along too. Denise came in the room and told me she would like me to set her hair. Nothing really fancy, just a simple set. I had been Marcia do Della's hair, so I thought I would follow that. Denise had already washed her hair so it was ready to be set. I took the rollers and clips she handed me, and I began to brush out her hair. I started at the top like I saw Marcia do and began putting in the rollers and clipping them to the hair. Marcia handed me a bottle of something to put on the hair after it was rolled. She said it helps set the hair. After what seemed an eternity, not that I minded cause I was having fun, I was done. I put the plastic cap from the hair dryer on her head and let it set for about thirty minutes. I took the plastic cap off of Denise and took out the rollers, one by one starting at the bottom. The top curlers cam out last. When I brushed the hair out a little and fluffed it, it looked very nice.
"That's great, Kim. have you been doing hair long? (Giggle)."
"Uh no, you're the first."
"Oh get out with that. This is good. You've done this before. (Giggle)."
"Okay yes, I've been doing hair like forever (giggle)."
"Oh My God, girls! I think we've created the bride of Frankenstein." We all giggled at that. Then Marcia and Denise's mom came in with some kool-aid and cookies.
"How are you girls doing? I thought maybe you'd like a little snack."
"Mom! Look what Kim did. She set my hair really nice and it's her first time doing it too."
"Wow. That looks really nice Kim. Your mom said you were a natural. Now I can see why. Well, I'm not going to interfere. You girls have a nice time."
"Okay mom," Marcia and Denise said together.
"Your first set, and your first compliment too. You should be very proud that you can at least do a simple set. When you are at home, practice some of the styles you see in the teen mags." Denise said to me beaming with a smile.
"Okay Denise, I will."
The rest of the night we just laid around talking girl talk. We talked about clothes, boys, what it's like to be with a boy, and of course every teen's complaint; parents. (Giggle). We also talked about makeup, our favorite colors and makeup brands, like Revlon, Maybelliene and Cover Girl. I said I liked the natural colors cause they made you look like you weren't wearing anything on your face. The girls agreed and said that was the way makeup should be applied. Where does the time go, anyway. Marica and Denise's mom called up the stairs and said it was bed time, except for Denise of course.
"Good night girls. I'll see ya in the morning. I'm gonna go and talk with mom and dad for a bit before going to bed. Sweet dreams."
"You too Denise," we all said together.
The next day, we all got up and raced for the bathroom. I got in first, and did my bathroom first and then the other girls. When we were all done with that, I went in to take my shower. I looked at my legs and there was nothing growing out yet, so I didn't have to shave them. I got out of the shower and patted down with a soft terry towel and went out to get dressed. I was not embarrassed either. The girls all watched as I got dressed. I put on my peach bra and panty set, my peach half slip and sat down at Marcia's vanity to put my makeup on. I put on a light foundation and blended that into my skin. Then I put on a light powder over that, and a light pink blush. They called it rouge back then, but it had the same effect. I did my eyelids and brows and then put on a light pink lipstick. When I was done I asked them what they thought.
"My God, girl!" Della exclaimed. "You did all of that without any effort. Like you've been doing it all of your life. You are very pretty girlfriend, and don't let anyone tell you different."
"Denise!" Marcia yelled down the stairs. "Come up here, you have to see this."
Denise cam in the room and looked at me with awe. She came over to me and looked me up and down and all around.
"You did all of this by yourself? I'm impressed. It looks like we don't really have to teach you anything. I have always said you should have been a girl, and now I know I was right."
"Thank you, Denise. All of you. A girl can be proud to call you friends. And Denise has called me little sister. I am so happy I could just cry."
"NO! You mustn't cry, you'll ruin your makeup then you'll have to do it all over again."
The rest of the day we just sat around watching tv or talking on the phone. When it was my turn I called Allison and told her what we had been doing and she said it was great I learned so quickly. The next thing I know, my mom was there to pick me up and take me home.
"Did you have a wonderful time, dear? And you look so nice. Who did your makeup?"
"Yes mother, I had a great time and I did my makeup by myself. I even set Denise's hair. The first time ever and it turned out really beautiful. Even her mom said so too."
"That's great honey. You will make a very beautiful girl and some man a nice wife."
"Thanks mom. I'd like to some man's wife when I get older. I would like to raise a family too."
"That will come in time, honey. You just be a teenager first."
"I will mom. Mom? Thanks for everything. I mean it."
"You're welcome dear and I know you mean it. Your father and I love you very much and we just want you to be happy."
My name is Kim Leigh Dawson, I am a teenage girl, I have love, support, acceptance and understanding from my parents and friends. All is right with the world when you have all of that.
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