Evanescence 2

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Evanescence

Part 2

I was sitting in bed in the hospital watching the television. I’m freaked out beyond freaking out. I totaled my car; I went through the windshield and went into a two day coma. Here I met the goddess, oh no I guess not like that but THE Goddess. And she drops the F-bomb on me.

I’m some kind of person that keeps getting reincarnated. That in every life I’ve ever lived I’ve been connected to her and been a woman.

Okay now as crazy as this shit sounds it really makes an f-ed up sense. There was something in me that’s always been wrong and strange and off. Waaaay off. I had though of everything but that. And you know I though that it made sense as I woke up. My subconscious self was finally revealing to me what was wrong with me in a messed up way. I’m not stupid and I know about TG people so I thought this is the real me.

Then I had that way too real dream about being a woman, a kind of spoiled single daughter of an eccentric Don. Yeah a real old time Spanish Dom, from the royal court of Spain and all that stuff. The thing is I never, ever remember my dreams and this…this was like…like I lived it. You think that’s weird?

I’m watching Sesame Street on Spanish language television, the accents are horrible. They talk in that patois used by the peasants like those sent to the colonies of Mexico and California…I still understand Big-Bird perfectly. I’ve never taken a bit of Spanish in my life…Yeah weird. I can’t stop going from Spanish TV networks and take note of stuff. I catch some TV show about some female Zorro, there’s sword fighting, fencing and I know, I can feel it her footwork’s all wrong.

What the hell?

I’m actually stewing over this for most of the morning until my folks arrive. It’s really messed up with the Spanish girl in my head the first thing I find myself doing is checking out my mom and see if she measures up? To what, to some rich dead girls standards? Then it hits what I was doing and arguing with myself over and I’m not a girl…I don’t have that right and…goddess it hurts.

……….4 days later and I’m out of the hospital and in therapy and we kind of self destructed and unable to close Pandora’s Box or not feel the way I am…I lied. I told them I rammed the pole on purpose, that I wanted to kill myself because I wasn’t who everyone thought I was, I wasn’t who I thought I was and that I have always been a girl on the inside. Mom cried, Dad f-ing lost it and freaked out calling me a little faggot and a little freak. He belted me without warning so hard and so fast it took me out of my hospital bed and out onto the floor nearly out like a light and wanting to throw up, loose teeth…He was screaming at mom saying he didn’t want to marry her in the first place and that I was a fucking accident if I was even his at all. Mom screamed back that she told him the truth and that he was my father but if she knew the kind of life she’d be saddled with then she’d have had me with a turkey baster. “At least it’d show me more consideration and it’d stay hard!” I blurrily saw him swing at her and get taken down by a set of taser darts by security.

I’m living in a trailer park with Mom right now one town over and she’s got a restraining order out on dad. I’m in counseling because I admitted to trying to kill myself because I’m transgendered.

I know, I lied but it’s really easier to go through things this way and say that I’m this way because I’ve always been trans and that’s why I’m so strange rather than I’m transgendered because my soul is forever female and until now has kept being reborn as a woman….

I can see visions of rubber rooms, really snug and comfy jackets and haldol…

I’ve had my first injection after a couple of days with a psychiatrist and taking tests…and I quote the doctor. “According to the personality tests and the workbooks you are so mentally female you should be producing your own estrogen by sheer force of will.” They even did something called a PET scan that shows you how the electricity in you brain works as you think because she wants to write a paper on me or something…I haven’t said yes yet and apparently I have a female brain.

Oddly as freaked as I am over it and the goddess thing the scans and the things my doctor said about them leveled my mother off from freaking out quite a bit. She’s still quiet, still digesting everything and still pissed at dad. I’ve never seen her smoke, but tonight she’s on the patio smoking a cigarette and drinking a can of beer from the six pack she bought and watching the cars and stuff go by on the highway just down the hill from my house…trailer.

………….another three days. I got done praying to the porcelain god…yeah, I’m sure HE’S male and drag my butt out of the bathroom. Mom’s eating a bowl full of honey nut cheerio’s while watching the morning news before she get’s ready for work. She had to go back to work after breaking up or separating with dad. My face is still swollen a bit and bruised from where he punched me out of the hospital bed. She’s working as a police deputy here in town. I had no idea mom had been a cop before she met dad. It’s freaky and cool all at the same time.

“Sick?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me.”

“Morning sickness.” She says with a mouth full of cereal.

“What?, huh?”

“The HRT shots to start you off are making your body think you’re pregnant, so as it’s trying to fix things inside of you, you’re going to feel stuff like that until you level off and your body hits a new norm. It’s like dieting and working out you’ll plateau at a certain point and then you have to step it up.”

“Step it up?”

“SRS Raine.”

“Oh…yeah…” I can’t keep the smile off of my face at the thought of feeling complete.

“You really want this don’t you?”

“It’s not want mom it’s need.”

She gets up and hugs me and then gets dressed and ready for work. It’s so weird seeing her in a uniform with a gun and everything. She kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll see you this afternoon for your therapist’s appointment. Get some rest and try to eat something, yogurt helped me when I was having you.”

I watch her leave then feel HER there.

“Morning.”

“Hey.”

“Not feeling well?”

“No, I’m not and you know it.”

I look at her and she’s a little different this time, taller, her shoulders a little stronger…it takes a minute and realize she’s trans…right now….

“Uhm…can you like do that?”

“Do what?”

“Appear transgendered, like a MTF.”

“Apparently, I can…that’s new.”

“New?”

“Yes, new you see us “God” types we are made of majik, belief in a manner so complex we can shift between states and do things or majik but we’re subject to certain laws of cause and effect and limits posed on each other to keep the universe stable. It’s been awhile since I’ve been really active and material so I guess there’s a lot of trans-girls who believe in me and seek my peace, wisdom and council.”

“Uhm okay…”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve come here and the Trans thing is a lot more common now so…when in Rome.”

“So though this form is biologically male though.”

“No more than yours is or any other trans-girl, it’s just matter, Trans-girls are all female in their energy.”

“Oh, and you can’t fix them, us?”

“Nope, there are rules to stuff like that. If I mess with a person’s genetics then the not so nice ones can do it too.”

“Not so nice ones?”

“Asmodeus for one.”

“Oh, and that would mean?”

“Hmm, splicing demon stuff into humans or worse.”

“Worse?”

“Worse, pancakes?”

I feel a change in me and suddenly I feel good, better, hungry. “Uhm, yeah that’d be nice.”

THE Goddess starts making breakfast in our kitchenette. My life is SO weird.

“It hasn’t gotten weird yet.”

SEE she’s reading my mind, reading my mind is weird.

“Not that weird.”

Head-desk…uhm…table, whatever…

She’s chuckling at me. I sigh.

“Uhm, not to be bitchy but why are you here and what is it with me being The Evanescence even mean?”

She starts talking as she’s taking things out of the fridge that aren’t in there.

“Being the evanescence is a gift that my followers had realized in the past. Like the Tibetans the ancient Wiccan’s had learned to reach a higher state of consciousness. But being women it’s shaped by who and what they are so…in the spiritual essence of giving life and birth they discovered a way that let them transfer their memories and pass them on to their daughters. Their enemies found this out and slaughtered all of them they could find because once evanescence became fully awake she would have all the knowledge of her female ancestors. The last time that happened was the Amazon republic and our enemies destroyed that nearly root and branch.”

“How’s that even possible?”

“Energy, meets genetics?”

“Huh?”

“Energy and matter are transferable; humans now store information as energy on computers. Then it was so ingrained it was part of their DNA, through infusing their bodies with the right energies that they could control when they hit that level of consciousness they basically created a female based genetic memory.”

“Okay…but if they were leveled out of existence then why me?”

“The Amazons weren’t just destroyed but enslaved, you’re bloodlines meet the criteria for being the next evanescence.”

“But I’m a guy, or born male.”

“It apparently is close enough that the energies in that bloodline chose you.”

“But what does that mean?”

“The amazons weren’t what most thought, why they fought so well was they had a reason to.”

“And that is?”

“They were fighting to create a better place for humanity to live in. A global republic, one of peace and love and tolerance it was a utopian dream.”

“And?”

“And the things that change people sow the seeds of evil and destruction and jealousy wiped them out or tried to….are still trying to.”

“And me?”

“Yes, if they find out about you.”

“So what about me and this and what do I do?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?”

“Free will.”

“Oh, yeah that makes sense. So…what about us?”

“You...are filled with an evolving power and that’s why you can tune into me so much, most people only see glimpses of me and that’s colored by their beliefs. Me I’m actually here to try to answer what I can.”

“Great so you’re like my Help command in my Wiccan-pedia.”

“Exactly!”

“I don’t know what to do. Can’t you tell me?”

“Some things.”

“Like?”

“Eat your breakfast.”

And that’s the first time I gave HER the finger.

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Comments

It's not want, it's need!

I read that, and to know I cannot transition just breaks my heart. It's another great story, and I love the humorous parts of it. I'm not sure I understand all of it yet (gotta re-read it again, especially the comments the Goddess made), but I did enjoy it! More, More!

Love,
Wren

Not sure if I commented last chapter

but great story! I was trying to remember why Amazon backstory seemed familiar, then I remembered a quote I saw:

Throughout history, poverty is the normal condition of man. Advances which permit this norm to be exceeded — here and there, now and then — are the work of an extremely small minority, frequently despised, often condemned, and almost always opposed by all right-thinking people. Whenever this tiny minority is kept from ...creating, or (as sometimes happens) is driven out of a society, the people then slip back into abject poverty. This is known as "bad luck."
-- R.A.Heinlein

Keep up the great writing hon!
hugs,
Diana

Wiccan-pedia

I love your creative terms and humor. Please keep going!

Hugs!

Grover

Second this one!

Definitely a must read! :)

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Evanescence 2

I like where this is going and the allusion to the Amazons of D.C. Comics. As for the memories of past women, there are the Bene Gesserit of Dune.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_Gesserit

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Thanks for the

link Stan. I'm just winging it again in writing this. It was supposed to be a one shot but it was well liked so...But I don't think I'm going to go that hardcore with it. Maybe for another story though because they're kinda cool like the Aaes Sedai from Robert Jordan's Wheel of time series.

Bailey Summers

Goddess of trans people?

so is there a connection between the trans community and this goddess? What about trans people who belong to other faiths, or have none at all? I like the story so far, especially the bits of humor.

DogSig.png

The way I'm writing her

Is the Goddess is the sum representation of her followers. Now that trans-girls are becoming slowly more prevalent in the world and hiding less as well as being followers of her that has become part of her as well.
or like this she's the goddess and the representative of women, regardless of gender so to her some trans-women fall under her domain. She has dealings with other deities and if they have transgendered followers it's out of her domain.

Bailey Summers

So there is a goddess of transpeople eh?

Jemima Tychonaut's picture

So there is a goddess of transpeople eh? I have list of things and I've been a very good girl, honest!!

More seriously, this is moving slowly but showing real promise. Lots of questions to be answered. Good work Bailey!

And Wiccan-pedia? Shame on you! :p



"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

I Sure Hope So!

[email protected] I was raised as a Protestant, and I still hold to a fair portion of those beliefs. But I've always been open to the ideas that other faiths have to offer. If such a Goddess does exist, I certainly hope that She hears my prayers as well. I can use all the help I can get!

Nicely done Bailey.

Hugs,
Jonelle

P.S. to Tychonaut, I thought Wiccan-pedia was brilliant! Humorous, irreverent, and worth a very good chuckle.

Evanescence 2

Cool I love this story but, Where's part 1?

just about

Perfect, the humor the love. The Goddess is there for everyone, she loves everyone, and shares through us, she shows herself to some in the form that she see's the person or group needs, yes the gathering I am in had a group vision of the goddess and we each say the same Goddess vision.

4 out of 5 boxes of tissue and 7 gold starsDesHS.jpg

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Finger! finger!

In a lot of societies a finger (or two) mean different things!

In GB/Winston C. two forward mean victory.
In OZ 2 backward mean f.u.
When I first started driving in the US of A, and some one abused me for being on the wrong side of the road I gave them the OZ salute. The answer I received was "Peace Brother", which I'm sure save my arse on more than one occassion!

LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Minus

Ok, I have some comlains about this chapter... It was too clichéd. Her father goes balistic when he realises his son is transsexuel and we've got the amazonian Utopia again... I'm kind of waiting for a TG story where the amazons are bad girls :D

Enough complaints, this seems to be a fairly interesting story so far and I'll continue reading. I guess I have to live with some cliches :\

Thank you for writing.
Beyogi

WOW

Welcome to my world i have had lots of dreams about the goddesses And the Daoine Sidhee.
I love this tis is going to be what i do to day reading this and not speed-reading eather.
Hugs Hanna

Love And Hugs Hanna
((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))((((((((♥)))))))
Blessed Be
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