Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1075.

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1075
by Angharad

Copyright © 2010 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
-Dormouse-001.jpg

The doorbell rang and as I walked to it I quickly checked myself in the hall mirror–no bits of cabbage stuck to my teeth–after breakfast? I am going barmy. I opened the door and welcomed our visitors in.

“Hello, Daisy, and you must be Maria,” we shook hands, “I’m Cathy, do come in.”

Daisy handed me the bunch of flowers she was holding, “These are for you, Auntie Cathy.”

“Why thank you, Daisy.”

I was astonished but secretly delighted that my brood had waited until I brought the visitors in to meet them. I led Maria and Daisy into meet the other bridesmaids, Danny, and Stella.

The kids seemed to get on quite well and Trish and Livvie were soon taking Daisy off to see their doll collection, with Billie and Meems tagging along behind.

“It’s so nice to put a face to the name at last.” Maria sat down quite elegantly given her size. “You were so kind to Daisy in hospital,” she winced and made a face. “My sprog is kicking I’m sure he’s going to be a footballer.” We all smiled politely.

“Whose are all the children?” she asked after adjusting her position on the chair.

“Mine,” I smiled waiting for the inevitable statement of surprise.

“Even the teenager?”

“Yes, sort of.”

“Sort of?” she looked questioningly at me.

“Yes, she’s my foster daughter,” I smiled, I didn’t want to give too much information away and besides I was sure that Maria was too polite to ask too many questions.

“Teenagers can be so challenging,” she sighed.

“Is that the voice of experience?” I asked.

“I have a sister aged sixteen, she is the bane of my mother’s life.”

“Oh,” I noted politely, knowing that I would hear as much as she wanted to disclose.

“Her name is Theresa, but she calls herself Tess, mum found out she was on the pill about a month ago.”

I was about to say it was better than unwanted pregnancies, but the size of my guest reminded me to avoid the topic. “She didn’t tell her, your sister didn’t tell your mum, I mean.”

“Goodness no, we’re a family of devout Roman Catholics, she nearly had a stroke.” With names like Maria and Theresa, it was hardly a surprise, however I did refrain from claiming to be a devout agnostic. Instead I looked at the woman in front of me, her short dark hair was nicely cut, and her maternity dress looked like it was from the Next catalogue.

“What did she do–your mother?” I asked.

“Nothing–not until she consulted the Father.”

“The father? Is she not...”

Maria blushed, “You’re not Catholics are you?”

I blushed more from my thoughts than my reply, “Um, no,” thank goodness.

“Mum went to see our priest, Father O’Malley.”

“Of course, ‘scuse my ignorance, we’re rather secular here.”

More embarrassed silences and blushes.

“Shall we eat?” I called the children, Danny and Julie were already in the dining room and I asked them to supervise the handwashing of the others.

“Can I smell fresh baked bread?” asked Maria sniffing.

“I have a bread machine.”

“Oh goodness, I was talking to Paul about one of those only the other day. Do you–um–I suppose you do find them, good.”

“They have one drawback.”

“They do?” she looked worried.

“Yes, it smells so nice that everyone eats more bread than is possibly good for them.” I smiled and she relaxed and smiled back.

I dished up the soup at the table and Trish wandered round carrying a basket of freshly sliced wholemeal bread–it was still warm. Then she sat next to Daisy and they were gabbling away like two old friends.

The meal was a success, and we did start the second loaf as my lot had seconds of soup–greedy hounds. Then the fruit salad and cream disappeared in record time, Daisy and her mum tucking in with the rest of them. Stella and Maria chatted easily and I felt able to slip back and fore to the kitchen without being noticed, mainly to make drinks for everyone. Julie and the adults had tea, the kids some orange juice.

“May we leave the table, Mummy?” Trish was being extra polite in front of Daisy, perhaps she should come again.

“Yes, darling, show Daisy your computer.” They all thundered off to play.

“How old are you, Julie?” asked Maria.

“Sixteen.”

“Can I ask, would you go on the pill without your mother’s consent?”

I nearly swallowed the cup as well as the tea.

“Um–not really,” blushed a very embarrassed Julie.

“She’s on the pill, she had a slight hormone imbalance.” I intervened to save further embarrassment. It was sort of half true.

“Oh,” gasped Maria.

“Yes, doctors prescribe it for irregular periods and so on.” I was heading into potentially dangerous territory but I was hoping that politeness would steer us clear of too much on that subject.

“Of course they do, I’m sorry, Julie.”

“When’s the baby due?” I asked changing the subject.

“Anytime now, they gave me the eighth as the actual day, but I don’t think I’ll go that long.”

“What is it–do you know?” Julie decided to stay rather than hide up in her room.

“Definitely a baby,” joked Maria and we all chortled, “though sometimes it feels like a baby elephant, an eight legged one, who delights on dancing on my bladder–talking of which–where’s the––?”

I directed her to the cloakroom.

“Can I go out on Auntie Stella’s bike, Mummy?” Danny was bored with the female company.

I looked at Stella who nodded, “If you take care and stay on the cycle path. Don’t go too far.”

“Thanks, Mum, Auntie Stel.” He was gone before Maria came back.

I glanced at my watch, she’d been gone ten minutes, a long wee? I’d wait a couple more minutes and then go and see.“D’you think she’s okay?” I asked Stella, it was now nearly fifteen minutes.

“Better check, I suppose.” She rose from the table and went to the cloakroom and I cleared up the dirty crocks.

Moments after I’d loaded the dishwasher Stella poked her head round the door and said, “Houston, we have a prarlm.”

“Wossup?”

“I think she’s going into labour.”

“Well you’re the expert, I’ve only delivered dormice.”

“C’mon, Cathy, I haven’t done anything for the last couple of years and that was advising people how to avoid the pox. I last did maternity, about seven years ago.”

“Stella, the only time I’ve been in maternity, I was the parcel being delivered.”

“You came to see me.”

“I was only visiting then.”

I accompanied her to the cloakroom, Maria was groaning. I then did the usual and inappropriate thing, “Are you alright, Maria?” it was quite obvious she wasn’t.

“My waters have broken and the contractions are coming thick and fast.”

“Is there anything you want me to do–call an ambulance?”

“Oh–OH, I think it’s coming.”

“We need to get her out of the cloakroom, Stella and we need an ambulance.”

More groans were emanating from behind the cloakroom door.

“Can I call your husband?” I asked in between groans. There was a horrible thump sound and the groans stopped.

“Maria, are you okay?” I shouted, “Can you open the door?”

A soft groaning noise came from the other side of it.

“I think she’s fallen off the toilet.”

“I’ll call the ambulance,” said Stella rushing back to the kitchen.

I stood looking at the lock on the cloakroom door, even if I managed to force it, she was likely to be lying behind it. Oh shit.

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Comments

Is The Labor Party In Power?

littlerocksilver's picture

Hoo boy! Well this should really be interesting. Outstanding new 'thing' to worry about. At least no one is trying to kill anybody. It's time for Stella to come through.

Portia

Portia

I dunno'

Never rains but it pours in that house.

Oh dear what can the matter be?
Two old maids were locked in the lavatory,
They were there from Friday to Saturday!
Nobody knew they were there!

-----------------------------

Come on Stella.

Now's your chance to shine for once!

Wharra' family!
Still lovin it.

Bev!

bev_1.jpg

Didn't expect anything quite like this

in labor in Cathy's bathroom. Hope the blue light can jiggle the lock although interior locks are not generally very strong. Then again maybe someone should check the door. And what's going on with Cathy - usually so good at taking control but seems completely lost.

Oh dear!

Thanks A+B, this is a fine corner you've painted Cathy et al. into!

But that's OK, we loyal readers are used to dangling off cliffs and trying to second guess how our esteemed authors are going to resolve yet another pickle.

I can't wait until tomorrow to see how this one plays out (and whether a liberal dose of BLH is going to be required to ensure that Maria and her babe survive this setback).

[Memo to self: seriously pregnant women going to the toilet should not lock the door.]

Here's my guess: Cathy notices that the cloakroom hinges are on the outside of the door, and the application of some Park tools has the door off just as the paramedics arrive.

Premature Situations


Bike Resources

Remote healing?

Seems to be the most appropriate thing to do here - especially as cloakroom doors generally open inwards, making access rather difficult. Unless the window's open, looking in from outside wouldn't be much help as bathrooms and cloakrooms generally have frosted glass. Until the ambulance arrives, the only two people that don't know about the healing are Daisy and Maria, so if Maria's conscious, then there's a chance she can 'look out' for the blue light coming down, entering her body, and migrating to wherever it's needed.

Oh well, at least as there's a dad somewhere, if Maria is admitted to hospital, there's little chance of the clan growing even larger... so hopefully she won't be having a three way conference call with Sam, Stephanie and Sister Maria.

 

Bike Resources

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

If Maria and Daisy Are Catholics…

…where does Daisy go to school? Surely she could be a prime candidate for Trish and Livvy's school under the good Sister Maria?

The thing we like so much about Bike is that we never know what's going to happen next. I just wish Maria's surname could be Pender, then she could be one of the three old ladies—the one who went in to fix her suspender…………

Now I'm being naughty,

Love

Hilary

Is this the benefit of a convent education?

Angharad's picture

Knowing all these naughty songs/poems? Do Trish and co have all this to come?

Maria's surname is Drummond, as in Bulldog.

Angharad

Angharad

Natch!

I am led to believe that my sweet, innocent, teenage daughter and her convent school chums have a much larger repertoire of such ditties than I and my convent school chums ever had.

Hilary :p

I did refrain from claiming to be a devout agnostic

I had a problem wit a devout roman Catholic once, I Made the Mistake of saying Goddess Bless you when She sneezed, I try to just say 'Bless you" to strangers, I them had to deal with her trying to save me from my Pagan ways for several weeks.

Well I have always found a screwdriver to deal with inside locks, Either a small Phillips head that fits into the hole on some doorknobs that have a locking mechanism, or a large flathead screwdriver to basically force the hinges off

1 out of 5 boxes of tissue and 5 gold starsDesHS.jpg

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Goddess Bless you

Love Desiree

Bike pt 1075.

Well, the new speog will be the yungest to benefit from the blue light, but will the light make th new mum's milk extra special and get her ready quicker?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Good one...

I didn't see that coming, and it was all up front and in the open.

I have heard bathroom locks called IQ tests for parents. Seems appropriate.

Cliff Hanger of cliff hangers.

If all bathroom doors opened outward, the half the cliff hangers would have to be re-written for a new cliff.
This is a new Bike wrinkle, take(?) a curtsy, Ang. How to open a door with an unconscious pregnant woman on the floor ?
PUSH ! just like you'd tell her.

Cefin

In the US, bathroom door-lock

In the US, bathroom door-lock sets have a small hole to push in a pin which opens the lock

Cefin

Looks like Cathy is about to follow Gaby...

Julia Miller's picture

in helping out a woman give birth. Hopefully, she can get the door open and if there are any complications, she can use her blue light healing powers.