Why did I go anywhere with two alien parasites that sometimes looked like big tits stuck to my chest? Okay, I'm dumb, but I think I had help.

Riding Deirdre's old two-speed bike wasn't so odd, even if it was a girl's bike. For some reason, that fact made me want to smile. It had big balloon tires, had been spray-painted powder blue about ten years ago and was older than our parents. You couldn't even buy a new two-speed but it wasn't the only such old machine in town.

I saddled up and pumped my way south on Clark Boulevard toward the Burger Spot on the north edge of downtown. The gears were shifted by twisting the right handlebar and the bike had both a rear coaster brake and a front caliper brake operated with the left hand. When going downhill, you had to remember not to use the front brake without using the coaster brake first or you might do a header over the handlebars.

Dee had cried at the decision to leave the bike behind for the nine-year-old daughter of the tenants who would soon be renting our house even though she hadn't ridden the thing since her tomboy days ended in junior high. Suzanne, our younger sister, had never ridden it. Zuzu'd never been a tomboy, going straight from baby in lacy bonnets to fashion-conscious teeny-bopper all at once, it seemed.

Mom had probably gotten the most use out of the old bike, she's the one who kept the tires inflated and the chain oiled. I had ridden it before, after I discovered its perfection for navigating the sandy trails in the foothills west of town. My friends on their narrow-tired ten and twelve-speed machines struggled to keep up while I floated above the loose gravel. Only Ken Tarrant on his fifteen-speed mountain bike, which also had balloon tires, could consistently outrace me in the hills. Of course, the planetary gears inside the rear hub of Dee's old Higgins didn't get clogged or misaligned like the derailleurs of Ken's newer bike.

I felt good and I blamed it on the air. Appaloosa is in a wide flat valley between the Marathon Range to the west and the Mustang Peaks of the Rocky Mountain Range to the east. The Jefferson River flows sort of down the middle and a lot of farming is done near it because the area doesn't get much rain. Away from the crops and pastures near the river, the valley is pretty much desert or scrub. The air is clear and sweet and I didn't want to think about any other reasons for feeling good.

Like the mutant alien tits under my shirt. What were they, where had they come from and why me? It's hard to believe that I hadn't told anyone, hadn't really done anything about them and didn't spend much time thinking about them,

Even when I tried to think about what had happened, it just seemed so unreal--even unimportant. Since I could think of no reasonable explanation for my own behavior--let alone the existence of whatever the mutant tits really were--I just ignored the incident and happily pedaled my ass toward the Burger Spot.

In a town named for a kind of spotted horse, it wasn't surprising that lots of local stores had references to horses or spots in their names. Our high school team name was even the Spots. School officials had put it up to a vote when the decision had been made to axe the old team name of the Braves. Most of the girls had voted for Spots over the other popular choice, the Stallions because they didn't want the girls' teams to be called the Mares.

Of course, the joke around school was that the girls' teams were now the Menstrual Spots. For my whole freshman year, I thought they were saying Minstrel Spots and I would laugh with everyone else but I didn't get it. And me with an older sister, but I'd never heard the word. Painful to be so young and so ignorant, isn't it?

Anyway, the Burger Spot looked like a typical one-off fast food place, big glass windows, plastic booths, menus above the counter. The back room full of video games attracted a lot of teeny-boppers and young teens who probably spent more for entertainment than they did for food. The burgers tasted better than the ones at the chain places--I think they were cooked instead of manufactured--and drink refills were free. The building sat in the middle of the huge parking lot for a strip mall, right on the edge of downtown with its old buildings, mostly offices these days.

I wheeled up close to the building, intending to put the bike into the rack where I could see it from inside. A tall boy I didn't know standing near the door said, "Here, let me help you."

I didn't think I needed any help but he took the bike from me and lifted it into the rack, instead of rolling it in like I would have done. "Thank you," I said, trying to be polite.

"No problem," he said. "That ancient piece of metal must have come west with the wagon trains. It's three times heavier than a modern bike."

I grinned. "It's built to last," I agreed.

Nodding and smiling, he opened the door to the Spot for me. "Meeting someone?" he asked.

"Some friends," I said.

"Have fun," he said. "And if you're not having fun, come see me." His grin got wider.

I went in, wondering what that was all about. Sure I was dumb but I had an excuse.

At the counter, I looked up at the menu, deciding if I really wanted a burger. Jerry Aronstedt, a high school boy from my neighborhood, was behind the counter. He grinned at me. "Lots of choices," he said.

"Uh huh," I said. The Spot's menu covered four panels and included Greek gyros, Mexican burritos and pizza as well as seven kinds of hamburgers, if you count vegetarian burgers as burgers. "I guess I'll have a strawberry milkshake," I decided.

"Excellent choice!" Jerry beamed at me. I couldn't remember him ever having been so friendly before. As a senior, classes had ended for him yesterday and he would be graduating at the ceremony tomorrow, maybe that's why he was in such a good mood. Normally, we seldom spoke since he ran with an entirely different--older--crowd. "Large or small?" he asked.

Large or small--what? I had to remember what the question was about before I could answer. "Large," I said.

Jerry grinned at me again as if that had been a funny answer. I almost laughed, he seemed to be clowning around. He made the shake quickly but with exaggerated movements, glancing at me to see if I were watching him.

Should I clap, I wondered, as he delivered the shake to me with a flourish. "Looks good," I said, not clapping because that would have been just too weird.

"I made it extra good, just for you," said Jerry, still grinning.

I had to smile which made the grin get wider. I handed him a five and when he gave me my change, he actually took my hand in his left and put the one and coins in my palm with his right. I blinked and so did he, his eyes seeming to widen and sparkle as they opened. "Enjoy," he said.

I nodded and turned away. What had just happened? When Jerry touched me, I felt very peculiar.

"Miss?" said a voice.

I glanced back in reflex since the comment clearly wasn't meant for me.

Jerry still smiled. "You forgot your shake."

Embarrassed, I took it from his hand, feeling another peculiar tingle. "Thank you," I murmured and fled the counter area. I glanced down, suspicious.

Okay, I'm dumb and unobservant but I wasn't blind.

The tits were back. Jerry hadn't recognized me, he'd thought I was some girl! Thank God they weren't as big as they had been but they were definitely there, pushing out the front of my shirt and jiggling a bit when I walked. It felt so peculiar I wondered how I had failed to notice. How long had they been there?

And through the big internal window into the back room, I could see two of my friends, Ken Tarrant and Bud Loomis, already playing Ultimate Deathmatch on one of the video games. "Crap," I whispered and quickly sat in a booth with my back to them before they saw me.

Unbelievably, the next thing that happened was I got distracted by that damn strawberry milkshake. I couldn't believe how good it tasted. If I'd never had a strawberry milkshake before it couldn't have been more fascinating. I sat there sucking sweet nirvana through a wide straw and didn't even notice Jennifer Sorenson until she had done a double take at seeing me. "Louis?" she said.

I looked up. "Huh?" I said, still blissing over the strawberry goodness Jerry had filled my cup with. Had he really made it extra good just for me,I wondered.

"Oh sorry," Jenny said, glancing at my chest. "Thought you were someone else." She walked away, frowning.

I almost called after her then my brain unfroze and I realized that explaining why I had tits to my friends would take too long and they would still not believe me. And if they did believe me, well, what then? I glanced down again, shit, they had gotten bigger again. I didn't believe much of it, either, come to think of it. The whole thing was unbelievable, especially the part about growing tits at inconvenient times.

I poked one of them and it jiggled. Still not the monster tits of the afternoon but way bigger than any fifteen year old had any right to, especially if he was a boy. These were Pam Anderson class tits. I poked one again and giggled.

Then I shrugged it off and went back to finishing my strawberry shake.

I sat there a while longer, lost in strawberry nirvana before something percolated into my awareness. Two boys in a nearby booth were staring at me. I wasn't sure what to do about that. Should I make it obvious that I saw what they were doing or should I just ignore them. Without making any decision at all, I looked back at them and smiled. Why did I do that? All I can say is that smiling at them made my tits feel good.

The older looking one got up and came toward me. I recognized him vaguely as being one of the jocks in my class. A big guy who had played on the junior varsity football team last fall. What's his name? I drew a blank so I just kept smiling.

"Hi," he said, sliding into the booth opposite me. He really was big for a sophmore, he barely fit in the booth.

"Hi," I answered. How could I be so calm, I wondered. This guy is hitting on me because he thinks I'm a girl and I'm still smiling. My tits still felt good and I was enjoying it, too.

"I'm Robert deVore," he said. Oh, yeah. "What's your name?"

So help me, I don't know why I answered him. "Lulu," I said. Lulu?

He smiled and I giggled.

"That's a cute name," he said. "I don't think I've seen you in school?"

"You haven't," I agreed. Well, not looking like this. I wondered if there were more differences than just the tits. Maybe I should find a mirror. I put my hands on the table, thinking about getting up.

He put his hand over both of mine. His hand was huge, mine looked tiny under it. Tingles radiated from where his skin touched mine. I looked up into his face. His eyes were blue and he had long golden eyelashes. I felt my nipples begin to stiffen. I wondered how well the shirt I was wearing over my t-shirt would conceal them. Not very well, I suspected.

I wanted to jump up and scream, "This can't be happening!" But I didn't. Have you ever swam near the water inlet in a swimming pool and felt the hard, fast little currents all over your body? That's how I felt but it all felt so good.

"You do look familiar though," he said.

"Louie Taylor," I whispered.

"He's in my math class, I think. Is he a relative of yours?"

I nodded. Well, sort of. I was surprised he even knew who I was--or who Louie was. With over 200 kids in the sophomore class, I sure didn't know every one of them, not even all the ones in my classes.

"I thought they were moving away?"

I nodded again. I noticed his smell. He smelled good. Hard to describe but I could tell my tits liked his smell.

"So," he said. He made it sound fascinating.

Iknew that if I didn't get out of this situation soon, Bobby deVore was going to find out I was a boy--if I still was. That thought worried me a tiny bit and distracted me from admiring his dimples. "So, are you here helping them?" he asked.

I'd lost track of the conversation so I guessed. "Uh-huh?" I said.

"Louie and Lulu?" he said. "Is it really Louise?"

I giggled. "Grandpa was named Louis." True, but that was his middle name, Albert Louis Taylor.

"Ah," he said. "Well, you're not twins but I guess you do look like relatives. You're much cuter, though."

I giggled again. I couldn't think of anything to say so I giggled some more. I must have a cute giggle 'cause he couldn't stop grinning. It sounds so odd to say I giggled but I was there and I heard it.

"I've got wheels," he said suddenly. He must have turnd sixteen during the school year if he had a car. "You want to go someplace?"

The idea of being alone with this guy was both terrifying and appealing, like the parachute jump thing at Wide Country in Greenfields. "Like where?" I asked, like a goose.

"We could just go for a drive?" he suggested. Where could we go, we were already at the prime teen hangout on this side of town.

We talked a bit more about nothing in particular then he said, "Shall we go?" He stood up as he said it and smiled down at me.

I nodded and got up, realizing as I did so that my jeans had gotten tighter in the hips and butt and settled lower on my waist. The mutant alien things on my chest again, I realized. It's not just the tits, I thought, possibly the single most inane thing that has ever occured to me while I was wide awake.

He held the door open for me and put his arm around me after we were outside. Every boy in sight watched us, or maybe they were watching my tits. I tingled all over from the attention; I liked it even though I knew it was just wrong to feel that way.

Bobby held the door of a beat up old pick-up open for me, too. It had a bench seat, so I slid over into the middle. When Bobby started to climb in I said, "My bike," and pointed.

"Right," he said. He tossed it into the back of the truck then climbed in beside me. He seemed pleased to see me sitting so close and I scooched over a bit nearer so that our legs almost touched. Almost too near, his elbow touched the pointy part of my left tit when he moved the shift lever.

"It's a stick," I gushed.

He blushed and I wondered for a moment if he had thought I said something else.

"Stick shift, right," he said after a beat. He backed out carefully, shifted again, looked carefully both ways before pulling out onto Appaloosa Avenue, the main drag through town. Then he put his arm around me.

I looked up into his blue eyes and wondered if he were going to try to kiss me. I also wondered a little bit what I would do if he didn't try.