Nothing Else Matters.

Printer-friendly version

Well, somebody mentioned writing a story centered a round a song. This one has always spoken powerfully to me.

We had been together since Junior High, but I was still scared. Make that terrified. It was the first time ever that any of my classmates would ever see me as I truly am, as I had always wanted to be. I knew I had the love of a good man, one who had wanted to have me on his arm for the Junior prom. And he’d made it clear he’d be crushed if I didn’t come this time and I loved him so much and… anyway, I said yes when he asked me.

I mean yeah, we’d explored each other’s bodies, and he’d had no end of wonderful things to say as the hormones I’d managed to buy reshaped my body, prevented male puberty and pushed my body toward some semblance of my soul. I knew what sex with him was like(something beyond believable!), and long cuddling sessions and most of the things that couples do, but we had never been seen together before, not this way. Most people just knew us as friends.

We’d been a lot more than friends since 6thth grade. That was when we started playing around(Yes, I mean sexually). Well, more to the point, we experimented and discovered that I was most definitely all girl and he was all guy, sexually and in every other way. That part wasn’t an issue between us.

He wanted me to transition publicly and dare the bigots to do anything, but I knew from bitter experience that there was no hope of that working. I wouldn’t survive it and most likely neither would he. So we shared private time and we went out to places in other towns where no one knew us and we had our romance anyway.

He would take me to Tulsa on a Friday night and treat me to a salon session and then take me out to dinner. I knew he had money but I didn’t care. I’d have jumped his bones without that. The thing was, he took pains to make me feel special, to seduce me, to make me feel like his woman. I fell for him, utterly. I mean it seriously.

You know the kind of love they talk about in fairytales? That’s what it was, and its strength had been tempered through all these years of my hiding and tonight all of that would end.

It seemed like just an instant ago he had assisted me from the limo, and proudly held my arm as we paraded into the gym, his 6’6” bulk still topping me even in 4 inch heels. For a bare instant, I felt safe, then I saw the expressions on the faces of some of the students and worse yet, some of the teachers who were chaperones.

It was pretty bad, almost as bad as I thought it would have been, except there wasn’t any violence, just very nasty remarks. I was trying my best to hold it in, but I just couldn’t and I had to go to the bathroom. I was so sick. I would have puked but there wasn’t anything in my stomach so I wound up crying and dry heaving over a toilet bowl. I was so sure I wanted to just end it then, but there were hands on my back, then helping me up and fixing my makeup. It must have been a hell of a chore because I’m pretty sure I didn’t stop crying. Not until Tracey slapped me on the side of my boob. She was almost in tears apologizing and I tried to tell her I wasn’t mad but things moved so fast and then there I was, makeup finished to perfection and watching the star everything guy of the school come toward me.

I was still in that fog as he approached me like he had said he would and I began to cry again, silently as the opening strains came up and I melted into his arms forever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziThYl6B2vw

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
but I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us, something new
Open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

So close, no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No, nothing else matters

I knew there would be troubles ahead, but it didn’t matter to me. I was lost in his arms and for that brief time as he held me in his arms and we danced, it was true. Nothing else mattered.

up
81 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Would be interesting to see

Would be interesting to see how this story progresses, now that all the students and most of the teachers know about this girl and her man. Jan

Nothing Else Matters.

Is a bitter sweet tale of true loe and acceptance. Please continue.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Yeah, great story.

Yeah, great story.

Thank you!

Thank you, Theide, for a wonderful story for a song that's one of my favorites, too. ^__^ Gorgeous!

-Liz

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

This is a bittersweet romance story of

two people of the same sex in love with each other since 6th grade. But the difference in one of them being female in her soul makes all the difference because as we know physical sexual characteristics and chromosomes does not a man or woman make. Being a woman, a female, is more than just clothes, makeup, hairdo, walking with a wiggle and having a cute name. Being a woman, a female, is an attitude, a discipline, a way of life. It is not like a light bulb that you can turn on and off. When you are female in your soul, your soul takes over and you are a woman, a female, 24/7/365. You can't go home kick off your heels and then say I'll be a man, a male, tomorrow. It doesn't work that way.

Now you have our interests piqued and it is going to be interesting to see just how she is really accepted by the students, the faculty and Tracey who seems to be a ally. Is she? I guess we will see. This story just has to be continued because there are too many drafty doors left wide open. Thank you for sharing.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

A sweet, sweet story

set to an awesome song that I haven't heard before!

I knew a little of Metallica back in the early days, but have not followed them. I've heard from friends that they've explored different sounds and this great song confirms it! Much more to my liking than heavy metal, which was to my ear too often too loud and rarely showed emotion other than anger and rage. I am sure that followers can set me straight in that regard, but I guess I've always had an ear for the gentler kind of melody, especially something as soulful as this!

SuZie

SuZie

Wow, Theide,

I didn't know the song at all. I had heard the melody, but didn't know the words or the title. Listening to it made all the difference. It made the story fantastic; so spare and lean, like a beautiful waif womyn-child. Thanks very much.

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

Ready for work, 1992. Renee_3.jpg


Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee