Printer-friendly versionby Princess
Authors Note: I know the polices reaction in this chapter is very unlikely but it will help transition into the next chapters. I revised this chapter quite a bit and decided to make it a new Post. I hope this doesnt cause any problems Thank you Stanman63 for your editing help
Jennifer takes control and saves her abused brother but she pays a price.
My Brother's Problem
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Copyright © 2009 Princess
Authors Note: I know the polices reaction in this chapter is very unlikely but it will help transition into the next chapters. I revised this chapter quite a bit and decided to make it a new Post. I hope this doesnt cause any problems Thank you Stanman63 for your editing help
I knew that my brother had a major problem on his hands now. Or he has major multiple problems with his life. One of the problems was he was now becoming a girl, and another problem he had was that a man was abusing him. All of those big problems were happening all because our mother didn’t give a damn about either of us.
Comments
Price
poor Melanie.so that was full price or only part of that price Jennifer will have to pay?
And i do not liked part where Melanie is murdered by Mark goons.
Brother's Problem
Yes, I am happy to help out. BUT all that I did was to offer advice. This is your story.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
from Huh? to OMG!
The shoot-out passage, that I complained of as being "so rushed it was kind of hard to tell what was going on" is a whole lot better in this version. The sequence of events is clearer, the images engage the senses better and the whole passage packs more of an emotional punch. Mom is still eeeeeeeeeeeeevil; & it seems your heroine has opened a giant economy size can of worms by doing what she had to. Looking forward to Part 3.
~~~hugs, Laika
And remember...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifLqzLEB3E0
This story has got potential as a real thriller.
However I think it's the sister Jennifer who may have the main problem?
needs a bit more work on grammar and spelling etc. but could be a classic, it has that action feel!
LoL
Rita
Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)
LoL
Rita