Siobhan gathers her friends up for a chat session at their favorite all-night diner/coffee house. Among friends who pledged to hold no secrets from each other, the amount of unknown elements revealed is shocking. Grace lays out a plan that would put distance, literally and on principle, between the four.

At times, this story is not safe for work and truly not acceptable reading for those under 18.

A slightly heavier section of String of Pearls that I hope you'll enjoy.
- Eclectic Kitty

Part Three: New Clear Fallout

Dab Nabb's was a great 24 hour restaurant, but it was even better as a hangout for those who liked to talk. It was nothing but booths with high backs and a line bar, so you could either dine and chat in relative privacy or you could keep quiet and listen for something interesting in the adjoining or opposite booths while taking your meal.

Our conversation was going to need neither. The three corner booths were the only private ones in the whole place and we requested one, even though there were only two other groups there that night; the ever-present Warhammer Fantasy Role-players, pulling another weekend-long campaign and the fabulously disgusting “Nick the Tick”, a slightly well-dressed man who owned all of two suits, wore cheap gold, and always begged for any “buddy” or “darling” within earshot to buy him a drink.

The former were entranced by their gamemaster's narrative. The latter looked our way and smiled, but a withering look from our group was too united a front to surmount, so he sourly turned back around to nurse his coffee again.

Settling in, I asked our waiter, Javier, for my usual French roast fix. He smiled his paper smile and went around the table and got down that the rest of us liked our French roast with sugar cane stirring sticks and a well-fed cow on the side.

When Javier turned and made for the kitchen, we got comfortable. I placed my hand on Grace's thigh and she put her hand on mine with her fingers dropping between mine. I hoped the topography of my section of table might reveal its origins. Chris looked out the window, then around at us. Justine looked at the crusted section of table before me in disgust, then sat upright suddenly as she drew a large breath.

“You first,” we all said at once, everyone looking at each other. We laughed mirthlessly, nervously, and repeated the imperative. Grace was first, so Chris and Justine looked down at the table, then at each other and Chris nodded. I could tell that they were holding hands under the table too.

Justine slouched a little in her seat and said, “I've been lying to you guys since I've known you. I'm really sorry. It's not that I didn't trust you, but I have to be very careful who I tell. Other than family and one other friend, you will be the only people who know and I want to keep it that way.”

She looked at the two of us carefully, asking if we were prepared with her eyes before continuing. Seeing she had our complete attention, she began.

“Grace-- Siobhan-- I was born a boy. More accurately; I'm in transition. Since I was four years old, I've been living as a female. My parents tell me that I insisted upon this and the therapists agreed to allow me to go through my 'stage' unhindered, though I'm not sure what my personal reasoning was back then. I guess I've always just identified with being female.

“I have been taking a supplemental hormone cocktail of one kind or another since I was nine, when I lost my testicles. Right now, I'm on a prescription that will help me be who I am inside, on the outside. My parents tell me that it's just as well, since our family has a history of birth defects. I was no exception, having torsed testicle episodes since I was five before having them removed. I am a woman in heart and mind. The rest of which just has yet to happen, though I'm unsure of my feelings on sexual reassignment surgery right now.”

We looked at Justine and could not believe our eyes. She looked something like Morgan Fairchild (with short, dark brown hair), so she was certainly pretty from where we were sitting. Perhaps knowing her for four years had convinced us that she could be nothing else. Now that I looked at her throat, she did have a slight bump where an Adam's apple would be, but it was just about the only giveaway, if you could call it that. Her mannerisms were no different than any other girl, but a lifetime of practice... This was a lot to absorb.

Happily, we were given time to let it sink in when Javier arrived and quietly poured our coffee. I preempted Javier and turned over the mug in front of me, while looking for him to acknowledge my desire for a fill. He was leering at Grace's capital V neck sweater blouse. I kicked his leg when he finished pouring her coffee and he looked at me with shock.

“Since you have now gotten your eyeful of my Chinese girlfriend, would you mind filling this girl's china with some Eiffel, friend?”

Javier stared at me and was taking far too long to unscramble the words for my tastes. I raised a finger between our eyes and slowly lowered it to point at my empty mug as I gave my best “Doi” smile. He knit his brow and stared at the cup so hard that I thought he'd cut it in half with laser beams, but he poured the acidic, smoky brew and left without a word or glance back.

“Weenie didn't even take our order yet,” I groused. When I turned my head back to the table, I saw two wide grins and one perturbed sidelong glare. Oh shit.

Grace blinked away her scornful glare and smiled slowly as she turned to lean in with a small, sweet kiss I happily returned. “You are so unbelievably corny,” she admonished. Her kiss had set me adrift on memory bliss until I realized that Spandau Ballet's “True” was playing in the background. My parents kept every album they bought and PM Dawn was not a favorite, but it was in my noggin now, forever torturing me. O, to forget the cheese I have been subjected to...

Grace pushed my head back to face Justine. Justine. Of course! I gave her my best obligatorily abashed look.

“Anyways...,” Justine started.

“Anyway,” Grace corrected.

“What?” Justine asked.

“Yeah. She's right. It's 'anyway' without an ess,” Chris helpfully added.

With a look to Chris that said 'zip it' in no uncertain terms, Justine continued brightly, “So, are there any questions?”

Plucking up some initiative to show Grace I truly was paying attention to the conversation at hand, I asked, “So why was Chris dressed in your cami and chonies?”

“Umm... Wow. I... I guess it's time for the whole truth, if that's OK with you Chris.”

Thinking himself clever, Chris responded smugly, “Yeah. I'm cool. Just leave out the parts where I might get in trouble.”

Justine smirked playfully and backhanded the ball squarely into Chris's court. “OK then, the floor is yours big guy. Nothing I will say will keep you out of trouble at this point.”

Grace stopped further conversation with an upraised hand as she was the only one to notice Javier making his way back with his head down, but pencil ready over an order pad.

“I would like to apologize for making an ass of myself and hope you continue to patronize our restaurant. The manager has allowed that everything tonight will be free.”

Grace pinched my leg when I started grinning and got a yelp out of me, which alarmed Javier enough to drop his pad and pencil, which in turn made the tabletop gamers look over and finally notice two girls more than one guy could handle.

Alas, they recognized us and went back to their gaming, having tried all their tired lines and failed too many times before. Chris and one stick figure with coke-bottle glasses raised a hand to each other by way of greeting. This helped Javier be less embarrassed, so he leaned down to collect his pad and pencil, which got him a very pointed look from me as I wagged my finger under the table, in case he peeped.

To his credit, Javier did not look anywhere but his pad and asked us for our order, though he surely knew what we would say by now.

“Chili cheese fries, four forks, four side salads, lots of ranch dressing in side cups. Thanks Javier,” I ordered. It seemed the usual would be OK, even with the free meal ticket we'd been offered. I got no complaints. Javier wasted paper by jotting it down, then took his leave quickly.

“You are mean, Shiv. He's just doing his job,” Chris admonished.

“Mean is my middle name when it comes to people who impose on common decency.” My eyebrows popped up to emphasize my relish in dealing with such fools.

Eager to draw us to another focus, Chris asked, “What is it you consider decent about us?”

Grace interjected, “Let's get back to the subject, hmm? Why were you wearing pants and a camisole, Chris?”

It was not a question that would go unanswered with that tone in Grace's voice.

“I was getting comfortable on the floor when I noticed that Justine was bending over to get me an air mattress out from under the bed.” Turning pink, he swallowed before continuing. “Anyhow, I saw a thong popping out above the waistband of Justine's pajama bottoms and her pants, so I asked her about it without thinking first.”

We all looked at Justine, who was busy trying to slide under the table. My foot found hers and I pumped it jokingly like I was attempting to reinflate her while making “Pff Pff Pff” sounds and moving my arms like they were using a bicycle pump. Grace groaned next to me. I marked that detraction for revenge later.

Justine sat back up and began to perspire a little. She closed her eyes for a moment before speaking. “He saw my gaff.” Seeing our blank expressions, she went on, “It keeps my held out of the way.”

Grace and I must have looked like a pair of rag dolls on a store shelf because Chris waved his hand in front of us. We gave each other a look to be certain the other had heard the same thing. Check. We nodded in unison at Justine to go on. Chris spoke instead.

“Let's cut to where you saw me, OK? Justine has been through a lot tonight, all things considered.” Seeing us focus on him and taking it for assent, he mentally changed gears to start on another point.

“I've been rather girly all my life. Dad won't have it if I decide to live as a woman. I want to explore that, but I also know that I am deeply attracted to women and how I look now seems to work reasonably well in attracting the right sort." Chris winked at Justine.

"Justine asked me why I couldn't have it all. I didn't have an answer except to say that if Dad found out, he'd go berserk. He wouldn't accept that I was living as a...”

“...lesbian, Chris? Is that what you were going to say? I'm fairly certain that you aren't the only one to know that I am in our family. You might consider that I have thought about that, as you are looking at two.”

“I might be bi.”

“Shut up, my love.”

“Grrr.”

Grace picked up my hand and kissed it, then again turned to face Chris. “Dad's wishes are why we aren't living in Chinatown at Uncle Ho's apartments. Did you know that? We could be staying there for free as family, among people who also speak Cantonese, but he thinks his sister should be a faithful housewife to an old man and nothing more. His hangups prevent us from seeing family.

“Did you know he had me go 'pay our respects' to Uncle Ho before he dies because he wants a place in his will? He figured a pretty girl would woo away a tidy sum of cash from a dying old man — or worse; he has to know Aunt Lia's a lesbian and probably knows I am too, figuring either way, he's golden. Too bad Uncle Ho's as gay as the day is sunny and Aunt Lia's written him off as a bigot.

“You think I care one iota about what Dad thinks? I love him, but he's not quite right in the head, Chris. Don't worry about him. Who you have to justify your life to are the people who have earned your love and trust, and that face you see in the mirror every day.”

Chris took a moment to absorb the bombshell of new information. So did I, for that matter.

Chris mumbled, “I guess you're right. I just don't know where to start and I'm already an adult, so any lasting transformation will go over harder for me. If I get too girly with hormones or surgery or anything else, then I'll likely never get to see Dad again. I desire a place in this world as a woman while being able to go back to being who I have fought to gain acceptance as; an androgynous man. I need to think about this.”

An uncomfortable silence ensued and I fidgeted, wanting to get Grace started on her story again, but I knew that Justine and Chris weren't finished by the way that they were looking at one another.

Grace broke the silence by tapping lightly on the table with her nails. We followed her gaze to Javier, serving tray in hand. We all politely started our salads, which was out of character for every one of us. We all knew that the fries would get cold if we left them.

Grace made Chris and Justine jump as she shot a hand out to block the drizzle of ranch dressing over the chili cheese fries and said, “Shiv!” I knew what she really meant was, “How could you?”

I stopped before hitting more than a few fries and Grace's pinkie. I knew it was bad form to dress the fries in their basket, but we needed a break in the tension. I hoped the focus on me would pop the tightening bubble.

“We're all going to dip them in ranch anyway,” I whined apologetically.

“Maybe you were, but I like dipping my chips, but don't always dip each one.”

“Pshaaawww. I see you double dipping sometimes.”

“What? Are you implying that I use my ranch in an improper fashion?”

“If the chip fits, git, double dip it,” I challenged with a smile tugging at the left corner of my mouth.

“OK lovebirds. It's time to stop. Look, I appreciate what you are doing, but we need to go somewhere from here. Chris wants to go down the path I've taken, to some degree. You two are so in love that you are making me sick with jealousy and it's almost light outside. Can we wrap up some issues, then get back to my house for cleaning?”

All three of us guiltily looked at Justine and began to munch fries.

Feeling like I needed to ask my remaining question concerning Justine and seeing her mouth visibly clear of food for the moment, I cooly asked, “So, what the hell is a torsed testicle?”

She offered me a thankful nod for getting straight to the point. She took a moment to think and said, “I am not sure how to describe it.”

Searching the table over, she settled on the basket of chili cheese fries and a light bulb began to glow brightly over her head. Taking the longest fry she could find, she turned her back to the restaurant.

“OK. So there's a multi-purpose cord that connects each testicle to the body which supplies blood, transfers sperm, fluids, et cetera. It moves like this normally when testicle temperature dictates the need to move closer or away from the body:”

Justine did an inchworm-type movement with the fry to show normal up and down movement.

“Well, when this cord full of tubes twists, it can cut off the blood supply. It typically happens when the testicle itself is twisted or when there is an extra tube present by birth defect that cinches the good one. That was the case with me.”

Here, she flexed the fry vertically as before, but twisted it while doing so. A little oil was expressed and some reddish chili dripped down as the fry made a tight loop in the middle. Chris took in a deep breath and looked to the ceiling as he blew it out slowly.

Justine looked at him and figured enough was enough and popped the fry into her mouth before continuing. Chris coughed uncomfortably.

“This happened to me frequently, but my parents thought that I was doing it to myself. I was sent to that quack shrink long before I ever saw a doctor about it. She tried to get me to love my body as it was, but wouldn't listen when I was telling her that it was hurting me, not the other way around. I suppose my attire and femininity didn't help to convince them otherwise.

“When they finally took an x-ray, my testicles were all but dead. Doctor Sood raged at my parents for not bringing me in sooner when they told her that it had been a problem for years. My poor little balls had been like balloons, blowing up, then shrinking again.” Justine closed her eyes and shuddered with the remembrance of the pain and the vomiting.

“Anyhow, now you know the truth about me. I trust you not to ever repeat this outside the people at this table and to never talk about it without checking to see if you are alone. I really do not hope to ever meet anyone who thinks of me as anything other than a woman.”

We each readily gave our solemn promise never to reveal the secret.

We ripped through the remainder of our salads and the fries, drank another round of coffee, then made for Justine's house.

Just About Eight in the Morning, April 17th, 2005 McNamara's, Santa Clara

“Hey, Justine?” I yelled.

“Yeah, Shiv?” she yelled back.

“I'm looking for your trash, but I can't find it.”

“That's because Chris is on garbage duty. He has the can.”

“OK. Thanks!”

Now that I knew about Justine, I kept looking for signs of male markers. Perhaps a lower voice, or large knuckles or muscles or even a mannerism. Nothing gave her away but that slight lump at her throat that I had to focus on to see. It made things easier to simply forget it. I knew her secret, but it's like telling someone that a tomato is a berry or that a peanut is a bean. People just don't seem to think of those things in those terms in everyday life and so it was with Justine.

I still had questions, but they were personal in nature. Just because she had described her physical problems of the past in detail didn't mean I was entitled to know anything that wasn't offered of her own volition.

That little roadblock was knocked down rather clumsily by Grace, of all people, as I walked toward the back rooms to get the bedding from Justine's room stripped for washing.

“So, was your name Justin before?”

“No. Julian.”

“So why not Julie?”

“It's too similar. I don't know. I was eight or nine and decided that Jules wasn't for me, whether male or female.”

“Do you still get boners?”

I dropped the laundry basket on the carpeted floor with a boom and shouted down the hall, “Grace! What the hell?”

Justine and Grace were quiet for a few seconds as I approached the master bedroom where the two were supposed to be cleaning. I found Justine with her hand wrapped around Grace's wrist for support. The brunette took in a long breath with tears in her eyes and started laughing so hard in her quiet wheezy way that I thought she was going to have an aneurysm.

“Breathe, girl!” I ordered at Justine.

“Interested in more than I gave you last night, my love?” I asked Grace with mock indignation.

“Well, silicone doesn't make babies,” Grace teased.

“Well neither does Justine, apparently, so why are we asking about boners?” I quipped, unable to keep myself from including Justine's new news out of a situation ripe for ribbing.

Justine seemed to lose the ability to breathe for a moment, but finally started laughing audibly while holding her head and moaning about a headache from lack of air.

“You bitch. I'll get you for that,” Justine laughed at me, dashing tears from her gleeful eyes.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“You couldn't get up the courage to face me.”

From the yard outside the bedroom window, Chris spoke so clearly and calmly that we all jumped, “I can hear what you are talking about and so too can the neighbors, most likely.” He turned his mouth down and nodded to himself like this was sage wisdom and walked away from the fully open window that we had somehow not noticed.

We waited until he had walked off a few steps before we all started laughing afresh. A few seconds had passed before Justine made good on her threat. I got a pillow right upside my head. It was on.

“Could you tell me about your time in Frisco, now that you are out of chores and excuses?”

“Shiv, I want to go live there.”

I stopped smiling. Is she serious? She is. Shit.

“But we just found this love. You and I are meant to be together.” Pressing a clenched fist to my heart and tears starting to form, I clarified, “I can feel it it here, Grace. If you leave for Frisco--”

Grace put her leaned forward and took my head in her hands while smiling at me like a clueless child. “Shiv, my love, I am not planning on living there without you. I looked into it and every course you have is transferable. Not only that, I'm transferring my credits to San Francisco State too.”

“Is that what you were doing for so long? Of course it was. But why do it now in the middle of a semester?”

After taking a moment to put thoughts in order, Grace explained, “You recall me saying that Dad had me go, yes? Unknowingly, he sent me to the very catalyst I needed to break out of my thick shell. I met people and learned things that opened my eyes to who I am. I can't walk away from that. I want you to be a part of that, since you are the very largest factor showing me how my happiness was right under my nose and I merely had to grasp it.”

The tears seemed to be squeezed from my heart and throat as I took in the depth of Grace's words. I got up off the steps and dropped down to kneel in front of her. I threw myself around her and held on like I might lose her if I let go.

“Grace, this is a lot to take in right now. Can I think about the school part? I am with you, wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do. But I'm almost done here at SCU. So are you. Couldn't we hold off until next year?”

Grace waited a bit before responding. “I don't think I could wait that long happily, but I would wait if you truly needed me to.”

“You know what? Show me what you've got when we get to the dorm and I'll make my decision after that.”

Grace hugged me hard and kissed the top of my head, making me smile.

“Now about what happened in S.F.,” I growled.

“Where did I leave off?”

I lifted myself off Grace and picked up her hand as I sat down beside her.

“Tell me about your Aunt Lia.”

“Wow. She is something. She married Johnny Ho in Hong Kong and they knew straight away what was going on. She came out to him and he to her. She agreed to keep up appearances and he agreed to take care of her as family. They had separate bedrooms and no questions asked. She was young and full of passion for life, though Uncle Ho had no lasting lovers so late in life.

“Aunt Lia met a woman named Kelly about two years after coming to the States. She is so very over the top. She cracks wise about anything and everything. You know what's weird about her though? She looks like a little Dark Irish clone of my aunt. The two have the same length and color of hair, the same interests and even the same dress size. It's a little creepy. Promise we won't do that.”

“Are you kidding? Look at us. You have double d's and I barely qualify for C's. Let's not go into the fact that as much as I truly love your new hairstyle, I don't think I have the courage to try something so daring. It looks great on you, by the way.”

“And here I thought you didn't notice.”

“Oh, I noticed every new change in you. I've just been too enthralled to think clearly!”

I laced my fingers with Grace's and looked into her eyes. “I am still floored by the fact that you are with me; that you love me and I love you.” I started tearing up and wrangled the desire to kiss her down so that she could continue. She softly kissed me instead before continuing.

“That's partially thanks to Lia and Kelly. I owe them big time for the way things turned out.”

“How do you mean?”

“The dress, the shopping trip to pick up the toys and the pep talk were all done with borrowed courage all the way. The hair and, erm, finer details were left to me.”

“Wow. Well, how did they learn that you like girls?”

Grace bit her lip and shifted away from me a little so that we were facing each other better.

“I walked into the living room, where they were watching 'Claire of the Moon'. I think they were watching me, more than the picture. Maybe feeling me out to see if I would freak or something because of their lifestyle, you know?”

“I've never heard of that movie. What's it about?”

“We'll watch it sometime. I got to see quite a few recently with Kelly and Lia. They have quite the library, the sauciest of which, I watched on my own late at night.”

“So what did you do that clued them in? Please tell me that they didn't catch you-- you know.”

Grace laughed and patted the air. “Nothing so It was what I didn't do, I guess. I didn't freak, for one. I got very interested. I asked questions like, 'Does everyone really think seeing two women together is such a big deal?' and 'Why do some lesbians look as much as they can like guys?'”

“Good questions. What'd they say?”

Grace collected her memories and ordered them properly before answering.

“Lia thought I was very naíve to think that people wouldn't react to seeing anything out of the 'norm.' Kelly thought that was outdated thinking, since a lot has happened since they were first going out.

“As for the women who took on a more masculine look and even mannerisms, Lia says that sometimes people identify with roles better in a relationship that way. Men do it as well, of course. It's a way of identifying how you interact with others at a glance, so there are no surprises.

“Kelly was quick to contradict Lia by saying that you can't judge a book by its cover and the only real way to get to know someone is to get to know someone. A frustrating, yet honest answer, I guess.”

“Wow. So which one's which between your aunt and her partner?”

“They are like us, I guess. They are both femme.”

“Like two yangs.”

“Wot?”

“Well, there's a yin and a yang--”

“I see,” Grace interrupted. “Yeah, I guess so, huh? Two female spirits that make a whole. Some might say that's unbalanced, but it does complete the circle, so what do they know?”

Grace lifted my hand to her chest and smiled at me with her beautiful white smile gleaming. I melted.

“Your intensity is really surprising to me,” Grace mused aloud.

“What's surprising about it?”

With raised eyebrows that backpedaled her intent a little, Grace explained, “Not surprising in the way that I didn't expect it of you, but in the way that it is all that I had hoped for. I thought you might be open to simply discussing the idea, but I didn't expect you to fly away with me so readily.”

“Excuse me? Who was dressed to kill?” I teased. “Anyone dressed like that was going to get anything she wanted. So if you had any doubt, it wasn't showing on your face.

“Yeah, I was nervous when you walked in with that qipao on, but you had to know that I'd be more than amenable to your whole evening, since you brought the toys.”

Grace blushed hard and nearly took in her whole bottom lip under her teeth, but her smile betrayed her careful planning. Par for the course with Grace.

“Now, whose idea were those?” I asked with pointed interest.

“Aunt Lia was talked into a shopping trip by Kelly and my best hopeful angel visage — a trick I learned by watching you.”

“Oh please. You had your own repertoire before ever meeting me. You had the world thinking you were their little princess.”

“And don't forget it!”

Lifting up her hand gingerly, I got into a kneeling position and kissed her knuckles, slipping my hot tongue between two fingers.

“Uh-h-h-haaa,” Grace vocalized intelligently. I saw her shudder as she recalled the night before.

I could learn to like this brand of torture.

Grace only just composed herself when she caught my self-satisfied smirk. She scowled and took her hand from me quickly, wiping it on my jeans for effect.

“You better not do that again unless you are prepared to follow through. Do you want me to continue or not?”

“I do. I'm sorry,” I lied.

Grace huffed and smiled. “No you're not. I'm serious. That was mean.”

“I never promised to be nice.”

Grace narrowed her eyes at me, which was cuter than any other expression she had.

“Where was I? Ah. We went out for a dress at Lucky Star Fashion Boutique and got it tailored for me, but Aunt Lia and Kelly didn't know why I was getting it or who for. I didn't come out to them at that time, really. I think they thought I was accepting, if not curious. Our next destination cinched it.

“Our trip to Good Vibrations was a bit embarrassing and also a bit overwhelming for the first few minutes. I must have looked like a timid doe facing down a hellbent lorry. They have just about anything you want there and can order anything you don't see.

“Kelly blanched at the Vixskin stuff. She got grossed out at how real it was, but Lia thought it was better than anything else they had for 'getting the job done'. I don't know if she was being political for my benefit, but I knew I wanted to get it, even if you and I never got the opportunity. It was just... neat. Truly, I thought it would be more acceptable to you, seeing as how you had the real thing before.”

I scrunched my nose at Grace and assured her, “I thought it was really neat, but the harness kind of told me that I wasn't with a guy more than the feel of the dildo. In all seriousness, I don't want you to feel like a guy, so I'm OK with the Vixskin dealie-o being the one doing the hidden work or just going without entirely.

“What else happened there?”

“Well, we ate dim sum at Canton on Folsom. It was goooood. Their egg custard tarts were a little too sweet, but satisfying. I have to take you there. Seriously brilliant food.” Grace was practically drooling on the maroon Loreena McKennitt concert shirt that Justine was absurdly allowing her to stretch all to hell. I touched her shoulder and smiled to prompt her to continue and let her know that I was looking forward to fulfilling her wish.

“When we sat down, Lia asked about what I had been talking to the clerk at Good Vibes who rung me up. I didn't want to tell her, but I thought it only fair to tell them that I hadn't gotten it just for me. You should have seen their faces.

“'Dare we ask?' they said at once. I don't like gossip, but these two had me on the spot, so I gave in and told them about my suspicions about you. They got all excited and said we had to go back to pick up the other items I had asked about. So after dinner, that's where we went to get the stuff I brought yesterday.”

“Wow. That's too cool of them. I hope they didn't ask much about me. Did they?”

“Not really, other than your demeanor, your plans for the future and what you looked like." Grace seemed to enjoy watching me squirm under the imagined spotlight, but added, "I was very careful not to mention your name, since I did not want to take the chance that anything might come back to my parents. Then there was always a possibility that I was wrong, though I was certain that was not the case. They are anxious to meet you, if things work out.”

Grace practically glowed with hope and squeezed my hand before continuing.

“We went directly to The Mint after that. It's a karaoke bar on Market. I sang Phil Collins' 'Against All Odds'. I had to pinch myself--

“Wait. You sang in front of other people?”

“Yes, on a stage.”

“Go on,” I prompted as I shook my head in amazement.

“I'm capable of public speaking and performing,” Grace asserted defensively.

“I know that now and I will never underestimate you again. By the way, this is a super turn-on, just so you know. I get to learn more about you than I ever knew existed. I know the bookworm/Computer RPG junkie/math wiz, but I don't know the singer and seductress very well yet. What other tricks do you have up your sleeve?” I grinned, giddy with excitement.

“May I never cease to surprise you,” Grace purred before picking up where she left off.

“I pinched myself to get up on that stage, but it was a thrill once there. I focused on the screen for the words because I was imagining you not taking my confession of love very well. In fact, I was in tears by the first chorus.”

“I had no idea you were so anxious beforehand. I know 'Against All Odds' very well and the lyrics certainly played into that fear. I wish I could have been there to allay your fears.”

“That would have been awesome, though I did get a huge round of applause,” Grace boasted.

“I bet. What else did you sing?”

“Well, it's full of people who want to sing, so I only got the one song, but Kelly and Lia sang 'Something Stupid'.”

“Bad musical tastes?”

“Huh? Oh! No, they sang the song called, 'Something Stupid' by some C.C. Parks. I saw Robbie Williams and Nicole Kidman sing it in a video some years back. Aunt Lia told me who wrote it and that it was Frank and Nancy Sinatra that made it famous, though it has been recorded by many different artists. I think it's gross to sing a love duet with your father.”

“Yeah-ah. No incest, thanks,” I agreed with a sour look.

“She sang it with her brother once, too. Lia told me that they were on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. She thought it was a little strange, but liked the tune ever since.

“Kelly and Lia really hammed it up and even danced a bit without ever watching the lyrics teleprompter. It was so cute and sweet.”

“Can't wait to meet them. Umm, Grace?”

“Mmm?”

“Your hair has always been at least past your shoulder blades and straight as a line. How did you--”

Pounding feet rumbled inside the house and the screen door banged open behind us, Chris barging outside and nearly toppling over me as he made his way out towards the cars parked in the driveway. Close behind was Justine, with a water balloon in each hand.

“Thanks for helping out you two, but I think I need one more chore done before we leave for brunch-- on me!

“Grace, your brother brought these with the hope of getting lucky. I think he should be responsible for any messes that are made with them, don't you?”

Justine tossed a water balloon to Grace that was actually a water-filled condom.

Grace stood and handed me the balloon. “Would you be a dear?”

Taking the makeshift balloon, I saluted Grace playfully and tore after Chris.

“Crap!” Chris swore as Justine and I split up to cut him off from escape from the fenced driveway. He stuck his tongue out to the side and pointed at Justine while making a 'loopy' hand sign near his temple.

I stopped giving chase when a thought struck me.

“Justine?”

“What's up?”

“Weren't you all but naked when we found you and Chris last night?”

She turned crimson and looked all around to see if anyone had heard.

“Nooo,” she insisted threateningly.

“It seems to me that he might not have been far off and if we hadn't arrived when we did...” I let the rest stir in the gutters of their minds.

“Whoa. It wasn't like that! Not like I would say no,” Chris added just before a balloon slapped him in the forehead. It didn't pop even after hitting the sidewalk.

Justine hollered, “Pig!”

With Chris perfectly distracted, I felt free to nail him square in the chest.

Much to everyone's amusement and my mild disappointment, it didn't pop, either.

As much as I wanted to spend my every waking moment with Grace, she had some phone calls to make in order to put her plans to move on temporary hold, pending the outcome of our upcoming discussion. This offered me the window I needed to thank Chris and Justine for making the opening of my closet door a thrilling and painless event.

Just remembering last night together with Grace — ohhh, last night - gave me a sense of restlessness. I wanted Grace and I to be alone again. On the other hand, it caused moisture control problems that could prove to be embarrassing if I didn't stop dwelling on it. Still feeling the effects of last night's lovemaking didn't make keeping it out of my head any easier.

Thank goodness Chris chose to break my reverie like a wet fish in the face. He plopped down next to me on the porch with only a creak of the decking as an announcement of his approach. I guess it was enough or I was just used to the charming pinhead. I didn't even jump.

“So, you and Grace, eh? How's that feel?”

“It feels like a ton of soft, heart-shaped bricks fell on me. Then they whirled around and assembled themselves into a crimson brick road that leads to another, yet no less magical part of Oz. You know, the road Dorothy didn't take out of Munchkinland.

“I imagine it leads to groves of almond and cherry, with Grace swirling their scents and flavors around herself; into herself.”

“Wow, Shiv. That's almost poetic. Why a ton of bricks?”

“Because, Chris, I wasn't sure I liked girls in that way. I am still not sure I could be attracted to any woman but Grace, but I know I have to be with her more than anything else. I feel like a pinwheel that Grace picked up and started running across flowery hilltops with. I was fine all alone with the occasional wind, but now I have direction and I sparkle with purpose and joy.”

“You love her?”

“Uh, yeah,” I sang in my best 'No shit, Sherlock' tones. “We pledged ourselves to each other last night. I don't ever plan to stop doing so,” I added wistfully. “She made me realize that I had been trying to come out to her for years, but hadn't made that final connection internally that said it was OK.”

Chris nodded like he knew exactly what I was talking about. “When she told me about the two of you, I wasn't certain she had the right of it. Then she told me one thing that finally brought my head 'round; she told me about S.W.A.K.”

I looked down guiltily. I had not forgotten, but I had convinced myself that those were like a pinkie swear. Thinking back from my new perspective, I had to cover my mouth to stifle a gasp. We had kissed innumerable times, but had all but stopped when I-- when I had started dating Craig last year.

“Jeeze, Chris. I really had been pushing hard on her. What an ass I was. How callous I was when I started dating boys. Shit.”

“Step back a second Shiv, before you get too wrapped up in guilt. Who is together with Grace now? Who reciprocated your feelings all this time and gave you the space to find yourself? Grace doesn't want your apologies, but I'd wager gold bullion that she'd be grateful for your acknowledgement and thanks.”

“When did you get wise? You know, I hate it when you are right.”

“That's the trouble with you and Grace. You two are always thinking things through to every 'logical' conclusion instead of just getting things out in the open. So busy thinking of what one might say instead of letting them do it themselves!”

Chris's chastisement was hard to take because of the truths it placed before me.

I could see now how I had been using the whole 'sealed with a kiss' device as an excuse to be intimate with Grace. That was closer than I really had a right to be, seeing as how I wasn't being honest with myself or her.

A sick feeling started to come over me; a guilt every bit as strong as the love that we now shared. I knew I had to apologize, no matter what Chris said. I would also thank her in the best way I knew how; I would never leave her and hold her above myself in all things.

Chris noticed the tears welling and started chuckling, bringing a glare from me that I'm certain would have turned him into a pile of ash were it not for the damned dithering of the beams through my tears.

“Explain,” I demanded.

“I know you are thinking about how bad it all looks, but you'll have to trust me about apologising. Grace is on the bleeding edge of ecstasy, so leave her to ride it for as long as she can manage, yeah?”

“You're right. Again. Prick.”

We both laughed and I surprised him with a bear hug. Justine chose that moment to appear at the window in the living room and raised an eyebrow at me. I squeezed Chris once more before letting go.

“I think Justine is a little in the dark. She thought maybe I was being a bit too close to my future brother.”

Chris's look of surprise was almost comical, but his verbal reaction wasn't.

“You two are getting married?” he all but shouted.

“Damn it, Chris,” I hissed. “No, but I see it as an eventuality. I love your sister. She loves me too. I just haven't brought it up with her yet. We're kinda new at this for taking such a big step.”

“Ah. Sorry for losing it, Shiv. Hope I didn't spoil it for you.”

“Who's getting married?” Justine asked as she opened the screen door.

“Nobody,” I retorted firmly as I pointed in toward the house.

“Aww, I love weddings,” Justine lamented.

Chris was grinning ear to ear.

“Justine, we aren't getting married. In fact, you can have Chris all to yourself. We're through.”

Chris moved to stand, but Justine put a hand on his shoulder.

“No. Don't run little rabbit. We have not come to harm,” Justine assured with a monotone that sent chills through me, and probably Chris as well.

“Shiv, tell me who's getting married,” she demanded, though at thankfully lower decibels.

“Nobody's getting married, I told you. Chris was getting ahead of himself, or rather, getting ahead of me and Grace.”

“Oh. So you are getting married eventually, right?”

“I know so. But not right now. You and Chris will be the first to know when we decide, of course.”

Justine had increased the pressure on Chris and he was starting to bow a bit under the constant pressure. She let up just before she looked like she might lose her balance. Chris's face was a mask of irritation with accents of delight around his eyes.

“I'm very happy for you and Grace, Shiv,” Justine effused sweetly.

“Thank you, Justine.”

Now I just need to find a way to apologize without being stupid about it. That and let Grace know that I want a long, bright future by her side without scaring her off.