Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 790.

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Wuthering Dormice
(aka Bike)
Part 790
by Angharad
  
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“So what do Bill and Ben suggest we do next?” I asked, and Bill rolled his eyes.

“Do as I asked before, use different routes but obviously let us know which way you intend to go.”

“What about Simon and Tom, they have to go out as well?”

“Simon is much more at risk than Professor Agnew, he is a direct member of the Cameron family, whereas the Professor is only by association.”

“He’s my father,” I groaned.

“Not according to our records, that was Derek Watts.”

“He adopted me.”

“Not according to our records.”

“What about the children? What do your records show for them?”

“They show that you have legal guardianship of them for various reasons and are acting as foster mother. The decision was challenged in court and the judge came down very heavily in your favour. It would take a higher court to revoke it, so effectively you and the kids are stuck with each other for the duration.”

“Did it say why it was challenged?”

“What? The sex change business? It’s of no consequence to us, you have legal status as female so are free to marry your fiancé and he you. I believe one of your children is also transgendered. Does that answer your question?”

“So what else did it say about me?”

“Really, Cathy, we have more important things to do than talk about you.” He turned on his heel and went out while I was left speechless for the moment. Simon sniggered behind me, and I went into the kitchen and banged a few pots and pans around while I dealt with my annoyance. How dare he accuse me of being self-absorbed? The sooner they are out of my hair the better, so we need to get these foreign bandits rounded up and dealt with.

“What exactly is happening with the bank?” I asked Simon.

“Shares have been suspended.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“You can’t buy or sell them until things are sorted out.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Both – it means they can’t acquire any – least, not legally. At the same time it tends to lose them value.”

“So that drops the share price?”

“It does, people will sell as soon as they can. Which means they often do at a loss. What we try to do in such circumstances is to buy back the shares, which a couple of hours or so later drives the price up again.”

“Sounds a bit high risk to me,” shares and things were matters I had very little idea of, I planned to keep it that way as long as Simon was with me, he knows far more than I do or am ever likely to.

“It has a certain risk factor; so far on the two occasions when it has happened, we made a few million in a matter of minutes, and reclaimed further control over the bank. It’s pretty well the last one in the west that is still owned by a family, other than some very small fry in the US and places like Italy.”

“What do we do to get these monkeys off our backs?” I asked him thinking he probably had no more idea than I did.”

“I’ve got a friend coming over to install an encrypter on the phone line.”

“Will that make much difference?” I assumed if someone could think of these things someone else can do the same only for profit.

“Oh yes, it will also piss off our uncivil servants, because it will take them time to decode it.”

“Meaning?”

“We could well have invaded Russia by that time.”

“Napoleon and Hitler came unstuck there, Simon, so I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“We actually do quite a bit of business there.”

“Which is why they want your bank so much.”

“Possibly, it’s also a very profitable place to invest apart from all the corruption.”

“So why don’t you pull out?”

“Because it would cost us loads of money.”

“It could anyway, if they get control of the bank.”

“It would also cause horrendous problems on the world’s financial stage.”

“Would it cause the Russian government problems?”

“It could bring them down.”

I picked up the phone –“Tell Henry it’s what you should do?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Cathy, this could cost us billions.”

“It would show the Russian government that you don’t do victimhood.”

“I don’t wear any hoods – oh yeah, got you.”

“What if it brings down the government?”

“Ours or theirs?”

“Either, but primarily, theirs.”

“Tough.”

“Geez, Cathy, since when did you get all militant?”

“When my family are threatened – desperate problems require desperate solutions.”

“Are we at desperate, yet?”

“Simon, you might not have noticed we have MI-bloody-5 camped on our doorstep for problems caused by the bandits who profess to be the Russian government. If you threaten to destabilise said government, maybe they’ll think twice and withdraw the gangsters.”

“They could also threaten to nationalise us or kill us.”

“If they nationalised you, there’d be an international hue and cry which would cause enormous ructions. The international community wouldn’t let that happen.”

“How do you know that?”

“I don’t. You’re the expert, but it’s how I see it myself.”

“Even if you’re right, what’s to stop them killing us?”

“Bill and Ben.” He looked into my eyes and we both started to snigger, which went on to become a full blown guffaw.

“That’s alright then,” he added while I wiped the tears from my face.

Tom arrived with the girls who were full of questions about the men mending the walls. I explained that there were some nasty men out there who were intent on harming us if they could, so to be extra careful. Simon got them all together with him and read them some stories while Stella and I went over to the garage and did some kick-box exercises. These culminated in us being exhausted, sweaty and sore, but it reminded me just how useful it can be.

If the bad guys had done their homework, they wouldn’t come close enough to get their heads kicked off – I was sincerely hoping they hadn't done all their homework.

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Comments

Message To The Russians: Cathy Watts Will Hurt You!

jengrl's picture

These idiots haven't learned that if you mess with Cathy Watts or her family, You will pay a stiff price. I wonder if that Russian woman Cathy dealt with before has warned them what they are getting into? They are apparently not the brightest bulbs in the box or they would learn to leave her alone. Oh well, they will have to find out the hard way I guess.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Appropriate fulldeckisms

Aw, c'mon: They are apparently not the brightest bulbs in the box...

Surely you can come up with something more appropriate. For instance:

  • They were apparently weaned on vodka...
  • They are apparently a sputnik short of a space probe...
  • They're apparently two Cossacks short of a dance...

Reference: They're not playing with a full deck

Angharad, Bike continues to be a must read for me. I don't know how you continually manage to come up with such engaging story lines. A tip o' the hat to you, Bonzi and your new furry friend. Who knows, one day you may rival The Archers with the longevity of this captivating tale. <vbg>

Political Stupidity

Weeelll ! Excuse Me!

jengrl's picture

I guess my brain isn't coming up with anything more creative lately!Sorry!

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

Time to dust off the bow(s)?

IIRC, when the Russians last came to town Cathy had two bows: a compound (which she left behind) and a recurve (which she took to Scotland).

Hopefully she's got one or other of them still handy...

And if the bank is likely to attract the wrong kind of attention in future, when the girls are a little older it might be worthwhile teaching them archery...and Bristolian Street Fighting...
In the meantime, see if Simon can smuggle in an extra bow or two, and teach Stella when the spooks aren't looking...

 
 
--Ben


This space intentionally left blank.

As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

It is certainly

a sign of our times when MI5 can probally tell you what you had for lunch last Thursday....Just what don't they know!!! Mind you if Cathy really wanted to keep her conversations secret she could always try speaking like Bill and Ben did in the television series....(try watching it on YouTube to see what i mean!)

Kirri

Yes, Cathy Of The Bow, And Stella Of The Foot

Will do in any goons that get through the gatees, and no doubt, a few goons have bought a few agents, or have a way to nab the girls, Tom, oe anybody else. When THAT happens, Get ready for SUPER CATHY and ULTRA STELLA to open up a can o' whupass.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Getting Serious!

This little episode is bringing Cathy out of her self absorption. It'll be good for her. She can take her frustrations out on the Russians now, better than a kick boxing bag or Simon. A little exercise in pain transference: Transferring her pain to the unfortunate Russians.

Hugs,
Trish-Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~

Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~

Really liked the MI5

guys telling Cathy that they had more important stuff to worry about than her former gender. Also liked Cathy telling Simon to pull the bank out of Russia. Maybe she need to use the phone herself and call Henry. In the mean time... activate the family defense force.

Good !

Glad to see the old Cathy, she of the bow and arrow thingie, back.

I'm all in favour of bringing governments down - not just the Russian one but the British one too - in my book, ALL Polits are crooks!

Briar

Briar

It would be so nice

to bring the Russian bear to a standstill. Sorry; couldn't resist that pun.

Susie

Is this the Russian Gov.

or Terrorists? Is there a difference? Is Cathy's old adversary involved. Stay tuned....

Cathy's on the warpath !

Simon should read the girls " A Bridge too Far", "The Longest Day",and "The Dam Busters" just to get them into the proper mood.
Cathy is mad at Russia. Putin take care.

Cefin