Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 735.

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Wuthering Dormice
(aka Bike)
Part 375
by Angharad
  
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After dinner, the girls helped me arrange the flowers from Tom, we needed a couple of vases. Seeing them again reminded me of my mother – she loved flowers. Dad used to buy them quite often. I felt myself choke up a bit and distracted myself by offering the girls a biscuit.

I heard my mobile peep to suggest a text message had arrived. Leaving the girls I went to answer it. Ok U win I srrnda, wl ordr sac clof n ashs. S xxx’

Won what? I mused. I wasn’t aware we were in some sort of competition unless he saw my distance as a punishment for his insensitivity. He was wrong as usual; nothing new there then – I’d left to avoid the intrusive reporters of the tabloid press. In some ways I was astonished they hadn’t traced me here. Anyway, the healing angel stuff was over, so hopefully they lose interest very quickly – they had the attention span of a dormouse, I know I’ve measured it – a little known paper which never got finished or submitted. I still have the data somewhere.

I called Tom and thanked him for the flooers, he was pleased they’d arrived. When I asked why he’d sent them to me as Lady C, he said he thought I was talking to the priest. That reminded me, I had promised myself I would if she were available.

“What has me talking to Marguerite got to do with calling me Lady Cameron?”

“Weel, I thoucht ye’d be talkin’ aboot yer big day, hen.”

After I translated, “I haven’t even thought about it. I might consider it in 2012 when the Olympics are on and thus distracting the press.”

“Och, ye’ll no want tae wait that lang.”

“Why not? I’m too busy to give it the time it needs to do properly.”

“Whit aboot yer lassies? They’d love tae be bridesmaids.”

“I’m not getting married for their sakes, when I do it, it’ll be for Simon and me. That we’ll have a better chance of adoption is secondary.”

“Sorry, but I dinna believe ye.”

That’s your problem, Daddy dearest, “I have to go, Daddy, talk to you soon, bye.” I was not going to be railroaded into marriage by anyone, especially someone who should know better.

I called Simon. “Hi, Babes, did you like my text?”

“Not particularly.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t understand it.”

“Geez, Cathy, I thought I was the dumb one.”

“You are, but what’s that got to do with my incomprehension of your text?”

“That bad, huh?”

“You’ve lost me, Simon.”

“Your understanding of my text.”

“I didn’t understand it. Since when have we been in competition?”

“We’re not.”

“So how could I win?”

“The argument, Babes, the argument.”

“Which one was this?”

“Cathy, have you lost your short-term memory? Remember, you flounced off from the hotel because I agreed with Tom that you could take the girls up to Stanebury.”

“I did not flounce anywhere, I have never flounced anywhere.”

“What about that time when we were with Tim?”

I couldn’t remember, so I agreed to give him one flounce, but that was all. “Okay, apart from that, when have I ever flounced?”

“Yeah, okay, so it was a one off.”

“Thank you. Now if you care to remember I said that I was going to come home and bring the girls with me. I had made up my mind before you two tried to make me change it.”

“Okay, so like I said, you won the argument.”

“Simon, there was no argument. I refused to discuss it, that isn’t an argument.”

“Are we leading up to the Monty Python argument sketch?”

“No we are not. I am trying to be serious, and you are talking about Monty Python, for goodness sake, Simon, grow up will you?”

“Back to the sack cloth and ashes then…”

“When you have something sensible to say, give me a call. You know where I am.” I switched off the phone. “Bloody men, arrgh!” I felt better after the squeal.

“Is you alwight, Mummy?”

“Yes, darling, why?”

“You squeamed.”

“It was more of a squeal, but I’m fine, just dealing with an idiot blockhead.”

“What’s a bwockhead, Mummy?”

“Someone whose head is as thick as a block – a stupid person.”

“Who was da stupid people?”

“Your daddy, my Simon.”

“Daddy, not a bwockhead, he’s a nice man.”

“I know sweetheart, that’s what makes it even more painful. He can be the sweetest man on the planet, and also the dumbest. That’s men for you, I certainly don’t understand them.”

“What did he do this time?” asked Stella as she came down from dealing with Puddin’.

I showed her the text. “I called him and told him I didn’t understand, and he accused me of flouncing off from Southsea.”

“I suppose flounce does mean to move off angrily, but I always associate it with petulance, in which case he does it more than you.”

“Oh, I thought I was the petulant one,” I sighed.

“We don’t have any pets, Mummy.”

“Pets, Mima?”

“You said you had a pet, Mummy.”

I looked at Stella and she turned away to avoid laughing.

“No, I used a word that sounded like pet, but it doesn’t mean a dog or cat.”

“Siwwy, Mummy,” she said and flounced off.

“Now that was flouncing,” Stella and I said together and laughed.

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Comments

Flounced?

Angharad, have you been watching The Honeymooners, starring Jackie Gleason? I Love Lucy, or any of Lucille Ball's sitcoms? This chapter reminds me of those classics.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Translations

First it was Tom's rediscovered Scottish accent.
Now it's longer examples of text speak.

Both of which I sometimes have to reread a few times to 'translate'. I'm not whinging - it all adds a layer of 'authenticity' to the story (after all, it would be pretty boring if everyone spoke in the same accent, or differences in pronounciation were only highlighted in speech descriptors rather than in the speech text. Hang on, that works as well for Mima and her pronounciation of "l" and "r" as "w"!)

Now for the moan (not directly related to the story or in any way whatsoever to Angharad's writing!)
I know I'm relatively young myself (32), but I still find the increasing usage of text speak by people of all ages irritating - especially since predictive text allows you to write using proper prose for very little effort (apart from breaking longer unusual words down into syllables to avoid confusing it!). Most mobile phones produced over the past few years (even budget models) allow you to send double or triple length texts - automatically splitting up into seperate messages on delivery and recombining on receipt. Oh, and you don't see text speech being used on a certain avian sounding micro blogging service...

And the plot comment: It'll be interesting seeing if Cathy actually plucks up the courage to visit Marguerite. Because if they go ahead with the full lavish wedding, it'll probably take until episode 800 to get the thing planned and organised...possibly even longer as Angharad will undoubtedly throw in a handful of obstacles and death-defying adventures en-route (take your pick: breakaway factions of the Russian Mafia, fundamentalist religious nutters, drug dealers, the BNP, the media, staff/patients at the next hospital to receive a character, or any other threat that hasn't materialised yet!. But in the shorter term, when the action eventually returns to Portsmouth, I don't think Livvie's met Spike yet [hint, hint!])

--Ben

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As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Och, yer too kind

Angharad's picture

I'm jest a puir wee soul, so I am, hen. I canna help it.

Angharad
(should get me lynched by the real haggis brigade - I'm a muggle).

Angharad

Language

All that's needed now is for the cast to cross the Severn Bridge and encounter someone speaking Cymraig :)

Although Cardiff Bay might be best avoided, unless they're to bump into John Barrowman and Eve Myles (or even worse, the characters they play in a certain BBC Wales production!)...

--Ben

This space intentionally left blank.


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

Actually John Barrowman's sister teaches at a college ...

in Milwaukee County so we have a tiny bit of Torchwood here, kind of.

Loved Mima and her reaction to everything. Sometimes the littleones see the truth the adults miss.

Dispite his flaws Simon's a good man as is Cathy, well a good, very good woman. So end the silly games and get married you two, your daughters need you.

And I still suspect there are more to add to the brood. In that dream/spirt vision her late mom said Cathy would have many children and she didn't mean students -- think Goodbye Mr Chips -- or killer doormice, no, sheep!

Ack, now I'm channeling Monty Python!

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Interesting that I seem to...

have very little (or no) trouble reading the human spoken text, but the phone texting seems to leave me lost - even when I try to read it aloud (getting strange looks, when I'm in public) quite often.

Thankee, Miz Angharad, Thankee.
Annette

Makes you wonder

if Tom and Simon are plotting to get Cathy walking up the isle....Men couldn't be that devious.....Could they?

Kirri

laughing but still not happy

Hate to see Cathy and Simon arguing even if it doesn't seem very serious.

Maybe we need a good ole fashioned Chiverie!

I once watched a movie back when they were still on film and used arc lights where the woman and the man were both so persnikity that their friends tied them to a wagon and moved it into the middle of the creek over night. By morning, they were ready to get married.

That or maybe they need to synchronize their um times.

Khadija

I is catched up!

:-) Yes, I have now caught up with this ongoing saga of the trials and tribulations of Pau... No Cathy.

Why is it that both Simon and Stella are almost always "arguing"... Seems they argue with anyone, any time, on any subject... And, they take special pleasure in arguing with those they love the most. *sighs*

Thanks for an entertaining story!
Annette

I don't reply often enough....

Thank you for the ongoing saga of 'Cathy and the Camerons'.....
I look forward to reading the adventures as they are written, although life does get in the way and I sometimes have to catch up on 3-4 episodes.....
Otherwise, I thoroughly enjoy the series... weird scottish, Bristol and any other accent included!!
Huggs,
Lisa Elizabeth

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arguing

I imagine Simon & Stella's is simple brother & sister bantering that evolved. At times it's cute,obnoxious but cute. They both know the ground rules of their game & probally dont take much of it too seriously cept for most likely certain catch phrases or code words.
NOW, with Cathy in mix, she's usually a black/white word person. in other words she usually says what she means & means what she says. She at times gets the BANTER of the other two, but when she's serious or highly stressed, she wants plain wording not word games, and gets highly upset when Simon or Stella dont get it & that when Cathy gets pissed off & takes a hike. It's usually a communications issue. Simon & Stella have prob. used this word play for along time and it' not till someone comes along & GROWLS they sit back & look back @ what was said or not, I'm not even sure @ this point in their lives how it' likely to have their affected their relationships with alot of people around them. This also likely accounts for their LOW SELF ESTEEM they also share with Cathy.
That's why Cathy prob. think both as children rather than understanding it's both Simon & Stella's coping mechanism.
Sooner or later I think they's sit down & communicate out in straight talk what the sources of problems are. Cathy & Stella usually have managed to do this shortly after they blow off steam. cathy & simon have not ever really resolved this. Only their DEEP LOve seems to keep them together, till the next explosion.

I may be really off base on ANGHARAD's charactor developement scheme with all this, but that's I'm interpreting these 3 charactors.

Little Girls

Are born with all the feminine tricks pre-installed, the rest of us men are left to catch up.

My PDR suggests.

High levels of testosterone causes the condition commonly known as 'blockheaditis,' this is often accompanied by 'missingthebolwbutnotthefloor'. The only known cure is high level doses of estrogen, and 4" heels. Although is has been discovered that riding a road bike over extremely rough roads while seated, may temporarily cure the symptoms.
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See, his eyes are really china blue.

Cefin