Seasons of Change

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Seasons of Change.
By Megumi-chan.

Just how much can one's life change with the changing of the seasons?


 
Image source found at photobucket.com
 
 
Prologue
 
It started with simple confusion many years ago but as I have grown older it has become so much more. Why do I have to be this way, think these things, feel what no one else can ever hope to understand? I was around nine when I first noticed I was different from other girls. The fact of the matter was I was told I was a boy.

I think that day my heart broke and I felt the beginnings of the anguish that followed me my whole life. It never let up and slowly over time grew until it got so painful I felt I could barely go on. My family is large, all my cousins were girls, and the only male cousin didn’t come until a number of years after I had been born.

From an early age I always wondered why I never had the same pretty dresses my cousins had it never once occurred to me that I was different, then one day it was announced my Aunt Carol was getting married again and 2 of my closest cousins Joanna and Lindsey (her daughters) were going to be bridesmaids.

Both me and my cousin Lindsey looked like twins other than the fact she had long hair while I had more of a mop of bright blond almost white hair. When I heard the news, I got very excited oh, how I would love to wear the pretty dress and be my aunt’s bridesmaid, I felt almost giddy at the thought of wearing such a pretty dress.

So there I was 9 years old asking my mom if I could be bridesmaid for my aunty Carol as me and Lindsey were like twins. Can you guess her answer? Yes well I will tell you anyway in her words she said, “don’t be silly you can’t be a bridesmaid because you’re a boy, boys can’t be bridesmaids only girls can.” A BOY! what the hell was that supposed to mean.

I had no clue other than I had just been denied my greatest wish, I can’t remember how long I cried I just remember that being denied hurt so much more than words can say. It was not until a little while after that I finally figured out why I was seen as a boy and not like my cousins after all.

I felt betrayed by my body, why did it have to be a boy’s body and if that was not bad enough slowly my cousins drifted away from me. Sure they were civil and we still played but there was a difference with how they saw me and treated me, I was no longer the same as them in their eyes and I didn’t belong in their world.

I can’t blame them, I mean girls and boys are brought up to be either girls or boys and generally they don’t do the same things, and even though I wanted nothing better than to play with the same dolls they did and wear the same pretty dresses and be a princess I knew after that it wouldn’t happen.
 

*          *          *

 
My mom never noticed my pain and angst over being seen as a boy and I cannot blame her because I found hiding how I felt caused less problems. I felt unable to be open with her or my step dad I mean what would they say if I said I was a girl? Surely, given the evidence of my physical being they would disagree.

Even at 11 the angst was still there only then it’s so much harder to ignore. All through school I had secretly dressed in my mom’s clothes and even kept a secret stash behind my cabin bed in the hopes no-one would find them. My mom was beautiful, she wore some beautiful things, and being a girl I always wanted to be as beautiful as her.

Then one day around 11-12 years old I was discovered in the middle of the night wearing my mother’s panties, tights and other female attire. I had waited until my parents had gone to bed and dressed when all was quiet but my dad had heard a noise and stormed in catching me in the midst of dressing.

I sat for a few hours in the living room being told I was dirty and sick, that God would hate me because I was sinning and that I was never to do it again. It was a lot more involved than that and my plea’s that I was a girl fell on deaf ears. Of course, I became a lot more secretive after that and managed to hide my dressing for a couple more years.

Of course I was caught again and again got the lecture of a lifetime, again I tried to suppress my feelings but I just became even more secretive than ever, school I hated and was always picked on. I was a quiet child, I hated sports and I hated the boys rough and tumble games. I saw no point in their macho posturing.

Eventually I made it through school with all my limbs still intact even though I am sure many of the bullies would have loved to help me lose a few just so they could feel more like boys. So here I am 17 years old girl with the body of a boy, a full life ahead of me and no idea what I wanted to do.

I suppose I should be grateful as even though my body is of a boy nature has yet to make me like boys in general. I have not grown very tall, I am still only 5.4” with small hands and feet, my voice has not broken and never had even a small hair appear on my face, arms and legs. The problem is I am still living at home with my parents and still cannot be the girl I should be.
 
 
Chapter One: Autumn Angst
 
 
The pressure of living is tough for any life whether it is plant animal or human, yet humans are the ones who notice that the most and I suppose it is because we are such complex life forms. Still, being a teenager feels like it is more complex than what adults have to live with, well it does, doesn’t it?

Well okay everybody feels that way but what if you are a teenage girl pretending to be a teenage boy because your body tells lies to the world. Anguish is what I feel right now, that is the only word that comes close. Why did my body betray me and why can no one listen to what I tell them?

My parents still cannot see that they have a daughter, to them it’s always been a phase. Well hello! Please can someone explain to my parents how a phase is not something that happens for over 8 years? Surely a phase is a short time not a whole lifetime, but what do I know? I am only the person involved in the whole thing.

I mean how is it that I am not allowed to have my own opinion or feelings, why is it so difficult for parent’s to accept their child is different and support them no matter what? Why is unconditional love conditional on if you do what your parents want? To me that makes no sense but I cannot argue I’m not allowed to have an opinion.

Here’s comes the tough bit. I have been offered a flat so I can get away from my parents and try to be the girl that I am but the tough part is telling them.

“Mom I need to talk to you,” I said nervously as I entered the living room.

Of course I picked mom to talk to because being female herself maybe she could understand and maybe because moms are supposed to be more caring and nurturing.

“What’s the matter?” See caring, well okay standard response 101.

Deep breaths, deep breaths, think cool wet grass, okay it’s not helping but it was worth a try.

“Mom I’m moving out.”

The disappointment on her face said so much.

“Why?”

“Mom I am a...a...mom I am a girl in my heart and I can’t be a boy for you and dad anymore.” There I said it.

I never saw it coming, I never even guessed it would I stood there stunned with my back against the wall and my mom’s hands around my throat struggling to breath. She had literally thrown herself across the room at me, it was like watching a rocket launch and I am not sure I ever saw her move that fast before.

“Maybe I should kill you if you don’t want to be a boy! You are a boy get over it!” screamed my mother as tears streamed down my face.

My own mother wants to kill me, where is the unconditional love? How is it that my body betrays me and now my mother does too? I didn’t even fight back, what was the point I have lost everything, no one loves me no one can accept me for just being me. Why fight when from now on I will be alone?

Suddenly my mother released me and I slump to the ground still stunned that my mother would attack me, I would have expected it from my step dad as we never got on but my own mother. I slowly got up and went to my room shutting the door and began weeping on the bed.

It was a few hours later that my stepdad returned and of course he had to have his say as well, why he felt the need to belittle me I will never know I can only assume it was the way of his Christian faith, after all most of what he said was all God this and Satan that. Church was bad enough when I was forced as a child to attend.

Eventually they pretended to ignore the issue and I was partly glad for that because although I had been offered a flat it would be a week or two before I would be able to move in. In the meantime I had to endure the tension in the house and every now and then the pleas and rationalizing of my mother to see sense and be a man.

Then there was the day of the move to my new flat, my step dad had agreed to move my things I think he was happy the freak was leaving but it did not stop him helping to cause me more problems. So there I am still attired as a male sorting boxes in my new living room when he calls me outside.

He had called at my neighbours and decided to introduce me, damn it why could he have left well enough alone. Of course he introduces me as his son who is just moving in and could they look out for me, I will say they seemed a nice couple but my step dad had just made my transition so much harder.
 

*          *          *

 
For about 2 months I would dress up at my flat where no one could see me, I had already transitioned at work so I had to ride my mountain bike 7 miles as male to work then change, work all day then change to ride back. I was scared to be me outside my flat because the neighbours were under the impression I was male.

What could I tell them, how could I explain and why did I have to in the first place, oh yeah my step dad. As time went on the stress and depression got worse, I hated living a double life but felt trapped because of my step dad. What did he hope to achieve? Well I suppose that is obvious, he was trying to make me be a man.

So there I am in my new flat scared to death that I will suffer torment from my neighbours, having been practically disowned by my family and having been shunned by the few friends I had. All the time desperately trying to deal with the girl I am, eventually it got too much and I decided I had had enough of hiding.

After making myself as pretty as I could I stepped out of my flat certain I would be seen but determined to be me and walked the short distance to a local pub where I had a new female friend. She had no idea of who I was at first and was shocked to say the least. She asked questions and fortunately they were sensible.

I felt relieved she was still my friend but knew I was not out of the woods. Eventually I did talk to my neighbours and on the surface all seemed fine, or at least it was for a while.
 
 
Chapter Two: Winter Worry
 
 
During the winter months things began to go wrong at first it was small things like letters being posted through my door threatening the freak. I was already stressed to the max with work, money and everything else. When I moved my step dad made a rule that I was welcome at their home but only if I went as male.

Again we are down to unconditional love being conditional upon me doing as I am told and fitting into others expectations. How deluded do you have to be to force someone to be something they are not just because it doesn’t fit your own world? Needless to say I hardly ever saw my parents.

My mother was the hardest to be away from, all those years I wanted to share with her as her daughter but was denied because of society’s viewpoint. On top of missing my parents I was struggling financially, I was only working part time and my money barely covered my food let alone the rent.

The council kept messing my housing benefit about and the rent debt was piling up. I felt so alone all I would do was ride the 7 miles to work, work the day then ride home eat and sleep. I had nothing and no one to help me, and the letters only added to my grief, I had no idea what to do or how to fix the problems.

Then the nastiness got worse with paint on my windows calling me all sorts of horrible names, I had told the housing people but they didn’t care. In their eyes I probably deserved it. The worry of what would come next had me desperate for a way out but other than going back to my parents with my tail between my legs and being their son I saw nothing.

That was the last thing I ever wanted, I could never be the man they wanted me to be and I was worried about how I could pretend to be what they wanted after being me. No, death would have been preferable to that although even death scared me. My worries became justified when finally a house brick came flying through my window.

It landed right where my head would have been had I not moved the bedroom into the living room and vice versa a few days before. The police were little help, I had an idea who it was but I could never prove it and I knew it would get worse. Needless to say I broke down and had a nervous breakdown. My world shattered and I wept.
 
 
Chapter Three: Spring Sorrow
 
 
I will never forget the smug grin on my step dad’s face when I relented and moved back with my parents. I was still working as female and had all my clothes in the caravan on the drive at my parents home. My step father would not even let my bring my clothes in to wash them and I had no way to hang them so they were literally stuffed in various black bags. I suppose he thought out of sight out of mind, how delusional can you be.

I worked only a few more months there because living a double life yet again got too much and I could not cope. I ended up working at the same company as my mom but as male. I wept at night because I had failed to be myself, worse because it had been my step dad who had made my transition so traumatic.

Not that he would ever see it that way and I will say he did come rushing down and spent the night watching my flat when he heard about the brick. He said it was to make sure no one else did anything and I do believe him but it still doesn’t justify his initial sabotage. I was also upset with myself because I found my emotions all over the place.

It was just too difficult to live as male when I knew I was female, trying to act as something you are not 24 hours a day is very stressful and even more so when you are taunted because you still do not fit societies expectations.

Of course I tried to be the man they expected but inside I was back to all the turmoil, worse was when my mom said that she had got to a stage where she realized it might not be a phase and was beginning to accept me as a daughter. How can anyone do that it felt like I had my heart torn out by that comment alone.

Especially as I had been refused being allowed to be me in their home, most of my time was spent working eating and sleeping, I had very little else to live for. Most of the money I earned was paid to my parents for the roof over my head, my step dads decision, it left me very little to save so I could eventually break out on my own.

Ironically by this time I was still effeminate no matter what I did, I think most people thought I was gay and I tended to struggle to gain friends. A few of the older ones who shunned me came back but it was never the same. I tried to ignore my inner self but nothing worked.

I shed tears every night praying to a god I did not believe in to make me the girl I was supposed to be but he never answered. Then came the fateful day I collapsed whilst at work, I had been complaining of a tummy upset for days then suddenly one day it got too much and I collapsed from the pain.
 
 
Chapter Four: Summer Surprise
 
 
I woke up to bright light as I blinked I began to focus and realized I was in hospital, I heard a gentle sobbing next to me and turned to see my mom weeping into her hands. I knew it must be bad news and resigned myself to the fact that I was about to die. The only thought running through my mind was at least my pain will be over.

That thought made me feel slightly more comfortable with accepting my fate I just hoped my mom could come to terms with it. I winced as I felt the first signs of my imminent death as a stabbing pain shot through my lower abdomen. Suddenly mom looked up as she heard me wince and saw I was awake.

“I’m sorry I never knew,” she spluttered whilst holding my hand as if my life depended on it.

“All those years lost, and it’s my fault,” she said before breaking down again.

I kept quiet not really knowing what to say, I mean how do you discuss your own demise with your mom, what words can you say to comfort her. Just then a middle aged doctor walked in followed closely by a young pretty nurse. I felt the pangs of envy at her beauty, why her and not me? What did I do wrong? I thought as tears formed in my eyes.

“Ah good you’re awake, I am Doctor Campbell” beamed the doctor with a warm smile.

“Just give it to me straight doctor, how long do I have left,” I didn’t feel the need to soften the blow I was dying and would finally be a peace now I just wanted to know how long I still had with my mom.

Dr Campbell looked puzzled, as did the nurse and my mom.

“Obviously I am dying Doc, I don’t need you to sugar coat it just tell me how long I have to live,” I was feeling frustrated as the doctor began to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” I asked angrily.

The doctor quickly composed himself “You’re not dying at least not for a while yet, in fact you are very healthy.” He beamed at me again with a grin that easily belonged on a Cheshire cat.

My mind slowly took in what he said and after a minute it registered fully and I felt sad, I had resigned myself to death and peace and now it seemed I was going to be denied even that.

“So what’s up with me if I am not going to die?”

“You’re a girl,” he announced as if it was an everyday statement.

I looked at him puzzled did he know about me being transgendered, had mom told him the secret I had been trying to hide these last few months. I decided to play it cool.

“What do you mean, you make it sound like it is nothing?” okay not so cool I felt angry.

“I mean you are a girl, never a boy and that was the problem.”

“Huh,” maybe this guy is nuts.

“Okay let me explain; when you were born you were mistaken as being a boy when in fact you were a girl,”

“I could have told you that, so I take it mom told you I am a transsexual freak,” I spat angrily.

I felt betrayed by my mom yet again, how could she tell strangers about me being transgendered, why could she not accept me as her child rather than boy or girl, why did my parents feel the need to belittle me with people outside of the family. It’s bad enough my whole family ignores me because I don’t fit in.

The doctor looked puzzled “You’re not transsexual.”

“Don’t you start too; it’s bad enough I have to pretend to be a boy without you taking the piss.”

I was sobbing now, mom tried to comfort me but I pushed her away. How could she do this to me?

“I think we have a bit of confusion so I will just say what I mean, you are intersexed.”

I was so deep in thought and sadness I never heard him, then all of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my arm and seconds later I began to calm down.

“Sorry about that but we needed to calm you down before you had a break down.”

I stared numbly up at him still feeling anger but unable to express it due to whatever calming drug they used.

“Right now you are calm let me explain, you were born and were mistaken for a boy when in fact you were a girl, as you grew up you tried to be that girl but no-one would listen am I correct?” he asked.

I nodded with tears in my eyes.

“Yesterday you collapsed at work and was rushed here, we did various tests but one thing we noticed early on was that your lower abdomen was swollen. I had an ultrasound done and we discovered a full set of mature female reproductive organs,” he paused allowing my mind to catch up.

“It seems that puberty had just begun and during your first period the blood had nowhere to go, hence your pain and subsequent collapse. I called one of my colleagues who specialises in these sorts of things and he attended and promptly operated opening up the vaginal canal fully and doing some cosmetic work to re-organise things down there.”

“I’m a girl!” I said in shock, don’t get me wrong it was the greatest day of my life and justified what I had been feeling for years but the truth was still a shock.

“Yes, and I might add fully functioning,” smiled the doctor, I wanted to kiss him but was unable to move mainly due to the drugs.

“I’m so sorry for not listening to you all these years,” came a quiet sobbing voice from the side of the bed.

What could I say to her, she was right to be sorry but was it all her fault, could I blame her, no not really because she saw the outside not the inside, yes I was still angry with how she and my step dad had acted because love should not be conditional and they had both imposed conditions.

Now the shoe was on the other foot and now I could see the love but why could they not have loved me when I thought I was transsexual, how can they justify loving me now I am officially a girl rather than before when I felt I should be a girl if that makes sense. Even so it’s hard to feel anger towards her, after all she is my mom.

“Don’t worry about it mom, I am sure we can get past all the hurt and pain and become close again like we used to be, after all I am going to need you to teach me all the girl stuff,” I said hopeful to rebuild the bridges that had been burnt before.

“As I was saying,” interrupted the doctor as I pulled mom into a hug “your body is now developing as it should do and my colleague has made you look as perfect as you should down there. In time your breasts will develop and your puberty should complete its cycle as with any other woman.”

“I hope you don’t mind that we took that route but the external male appearance was nothing more than an illusion, there were never any male reproductive organs present and after speaking to your mother it was felt this was the best course.”

“Yes it was doctor, thank you,” I said weakly as I smiled at him.

“I will get the official paperwork started regarding your birth certificate, also I should ask what name do you want to go by?”

“Katherine Elizabeth with a K please.”

“Beautiful name, I will get right on it,” he smiled warmly before turning and leaving with the nurse.

I felt relieved no elated to finally be me, no lies no pretending and maybe my family will accept me now, not that I should care but they are my family. I wonder what Lindsey will say when she hears I am a girl after all. Mom stayed with me the rest of the day and we had our first mother daughter talk.

Some of it was a bit heavy and there were many regrets especially on mom’s side. She blamed herself for my birth defect and for not taking me seriously earlier and then for ignoring what I said when I tried to come out as transsexual. I tried to console her and I think I managed in the end but it would take time.
 

*          *          *

 
A few weeks passed and during that time my hormones really kicked in, waking up to breasts was a shock but mom said some girls do sprout fairly quickly, they were small but in my eyes perfectly formed. After plenty of discussion I decided to go to college in September, I had always wanted to study hair and beauty and my parents agreed to fund my course.

In the mean time I quit my job, well I didn’t exactly feel able to go in and be asked all sorts of awkward questions. I mean come on Transsexual or intersexed what is people’s fascination with people who are struggling with medical conditions. I suppose it comes down to society in general being nosey.

During summer mom helped me build up a new wardrobe and I have to admit it was a lot of fun. I especially liked going to the local shopping centre (similar to a mall in the US) mainly because I was finally free to be me in public. After a month I was all healed from the surgery and mom and dad decided to pay for me to have a holiday in Cyprus.

Fortunately my birth certificate had come and we quickly sorted a passport for my trip, Cyprus was so hot but it got even hotter when I saw someone I knew.

“OMG oh my god its Mark, he is so dreamy,” damn my panties were wet.

Stop hold it, my panties are wet why are my panties wet? oh my god it’s because of him. Never did I feel so embarrassed, okay so no one could see my panties were wet but hey, I never had this happen before so I am allowed okay. In fact I never had any feelings for males or females before so this revelation was kind of a shock.

I sat there in the cafe drinking a diet coke as he worked his way through the crowds towards where I was sitting. My mind was a whirl here I was sitting in a cafe in Cyprus wearing a pretty sundress minding my own business when along comes someone I knew from school. My heart was racing ten to the dozen.

I considered running, but where, OMG he is looking at me. I felt my cheeks flush as I saw his face light up in recognition. What am I going to do, what am I going to do my life is over he’s going to tell everybody I used to be a man or worse beat me. I felt faint and I am sure the colour drained from my face as I sat unable to move.

Finally, he stood in front of me smiling; I nervously looked up into those gorgeous blue eyes and felt a lump in my throat. I did not know what to say so I did the next best thing I lowered my head to my hands and began to weep. The next thing I knew was the feel of someone holding me to them.

I looked up and saw it was Mark smiling at me, there didn’t appear to be any hate that I could see, he just held me to him. Eventually I managed to get my emotions under control even though I was still panicking inside.

“You know I never had that effect on a woman before,” said Mark as he sat on the chair beside me.

I looked at him from the corner of my eye wondering what he might say next.

"You know Katherine you are as beautiful as I had been told.”

What was that I’m beautiful, wait back up he said my name I know he said my name but I haven’t told him so how did he know? Then I got giddy again he said I’m beautiful (sigh) damn it girl get a grip this is Mark from school who thought you were a boy, he’s going to kill you soon.

“You’re wondering why I am here?”

I numbly nodded as if on autopilot while my mind tried to consider what the hell was going on, instead I just kept hearing that he thought I was beautiful over and over in my head as my mind tried to swim for safe ground and stop the torrent of emotions running rampant.

“About 2 weeks ago I was passing your house and I saw you getting out of your dads car, I didn’t recognise you at first because of you being female then I took a closer look and recognised your face.”

I blushed at this.

“Anyway I happened to bump into your mom a few days later when she was out shopping and I asked about you, well needless to say we had a long talk and your mom explained that you had always been female but no one ever knew except you. I was shocked that someone so beautiful had to go through so much,”

Mark blushed as he took my hand.

“Anyway you’re mom happened to mention you were coming to Cyprus and I decided I wanted to be here too, to get to know the real you,” he blushed more and I felt my heart hammering away in my chest like a runaway freight train.

“I...I...I.” what the hell I can’t even speak now, I mean what do I say to that.

“It’s okay I know this was a bit of a surprise and I expect you were thinking the worst, but I,” he was blushing again “I...I have had a crush on you since school,” he lowered his head as if in shame.

“School?” I blurted out stunned yet again, you know one of these days I might just string enough words together to make a sentence.

My mind boggled as I considered his words; did that mean he was gay? or did he see the girl that lay beneath the male cover. I was at a loss I mean what could I say.

Just then a waitress came over and Mark ordered a coffee for himself and a refill for me. When she left he looked at me.

“Kat all through school I was fighting myself cause I didn’t know why I fancied you, at first I thought I was gay or something but I had no answers. I tried to stay away other than a few times when I saw you being harassed and stepped in to stop it. But I was so confused and scared of what my liking you meant.”

“Now I find that you always were a girl and I wasn’t gay after all, not that it should have mattered but at the time I was so worried especially about you because I never quite knew who you were or who you liked,” he blushed again.

“I have been walking past your house often since school ended trying to figure out what to say and what I wanted. Don’t get me wrong I...I’m not a stalker or anything I just couldn’t get you out of my mind, I think even back then I thought you were a girl.”

“I...I,” I just couldn’t get any words out, my mind was still all over the place reeling from seeing him and the feelings he stirred within me.

Suddenly he held my chin in his hand and turned my blushing face to his before I could argue he gently planted his lips on mine. I cannot describe the feelings that went through me right then other than to say it was like a whole body tingle. Part of me wanted to push him away but I found myself putting my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

The kiss got deeper and my emotions surged, I felt shock, relief, confusion and so much more in that kiss but the one thing I could not deny was liking it. When he eventually broke the kiss I was breathless and leaning against him.

“Wow,” was all he said “I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did.”

I simply nodded “That was my first kiss.”

“You never kissed anyone before?”

“Never,” I blushed as I lowered my head and a tear escaped my eye.

Mark saw it though and gently wiped it away “Hey now don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it Mark, I missed so much growing up all cause of a stupid birth defect, I never was a princess, I never got to wear pretty dresses, I never had a first date or kiss before. I was just living day to day hoping my torment would end,” as I said that the dam broke and I sobbed into his chest.

Mark just held me and stroked my hair and back trying to calm me. I suppose many would think I am stupid for crying over spilt milk but the pain of all I missed will never leave me. All I can do is try to make the rest of my life better somehow. Strangely, Mark’s presence seemed to help but I did not know why.

“Katherine, would you go out with me.”

I looked up as the tears subsided “You mean a date?” yeah okay I admit I was blond in a previous life, oh wait no I wasn't it was this life, there I go proving my point(sigh).

“Yeah I have always wanted to ask you out; I thought we could go for a nice meal and maybe a walk along the beach. I actually am hoping to spend the whole two weeks with you if you are interested I am even booked in the same hotel,” I looked at his pleading eyes and melted.

“Yes, I would like that,” I practically squeaked at him.

Mark took my hand and helped me up before holding his arm to me, I hesitantly took it and we began walking back towards the hotel. My legs felt like jelly and I was glad of his arm or I would have fallen on my face. Eventually we made it back and after kissing me at the door to my room he left for his own.

When I closed the door I leant against it trying to calm myself and get my thumping heart under control. After a few minutes I made my way to the bed and sat down before picking up the phone and dialing my mom.

[Mom it’s me Katherine]

[Hi honey are you having a nice time?]

[Yeah mom but I have only been here a day so far, erm mom did you meet a guy called Mark recently?] I asked cautiously.

[Oh yes has he arrived?] mom asked as if I should have expected it.

[Yes mom although it would have been nice if you had told me he was coming, I nearly had a heart attack]

[Sorry honey it must have slipped my mind] I knew she was lying because I heard her quietly giggle.

[Look honey just have a nice time with Mark, he really loves you he has just never been able to tell you, just give him chance] I sighed when mom is like this there is little point arguing and to be honest I did not want to argue, I like Mark of course I will spend time with him.

[Yes mom, look I have to go I need to get ready Mark is taking me for a meal] I could practically hear her excitement through the phone.

You know it is amazing all my life I have been made to act like a guy and like guy things and the minute I am a girl mom tries to marry me off. I suppose I should be grateful she is trying to make up for many years of hurt.

[Okay honey have a nice time with Mark and I will speak to you soon]

I put the phone down and after a minute I began to get ready making sure to wear something nice but not too revealing, I was not quite ready for sex and I did not want to give Mark the wrong impression.

At 8pm Mark arrived at the door just as I finished brushing my long hair, it had long since changed from the bright blond white of my youth to a sort of mousy brown and I had recently had it coloured a deep mahogany. I had been growing it for years and it was past my shoulder blades now.

As I answered the door Mark was stood there in a light blue shirt that made his eyes stand out and a pair of black trousers. He looked so handsome and my tummy did little flip-flops as I gazed into his eyes. Quickly collecting my room key and purse I headed out and took his arm as he guided me to the restaurant.

I will not bore you with details but we talked so much, Mark talked a lot about how he had felt about me in school and what he had been doing with his life since then. He made sure to ask me how I was getting on, and was sad to hear of my harassment and all the problems I had suffered.

I felt so comfortable talking to him about everything not only that it felt good to get some of the hurt of my chest, I knew I was far from over it all but progress was being made. At the end of the meal, we walked along the beach hand in hand as we watched the sunset and for the first time in my life I felt complete.
 

*          *          *

 
The next two weeks were a blur Mark and I went everywhere visiting all the archaeological sites and museums, we wined and dined but no we didn’t 69 (giggle) I just wasn’t ready for that and the doctor did tell me to be careful for a little while. All too soon the holiday came to an end and I was sad to be leaving.

I had felt so alive these last two weeks and having Mark by my side as a constant companion was wonderful especially as he never expected anything more than a kiss and cuddle. I was surprised when he told me we were booked on the same flight on the way home but I was glad for the company as the flight there was boring.

Needless to say we talked all the way back and even discussed going on holiday later in the year together. We spent the next few months of summer in each other company and Mark made sure to take me on lots of dates everywhere from movie’s to meals and even dancing although I felt very self conscious of the latter at first.

Then just before summers end Mark asked me to join him at a very posh restaurant, I spent a whole day with mom scouring the stores looking for the perfect dress to make sure I looked right. Mark had passed his test and usually drove but the night of the date a limo pulled up and Mark stepped out.

To say I was shocked was an understatement, after getting in the Limo it set off and soon we arrived at an exclusive Italian restaurant. I had never been there before due to the cost but Mark said not to worry about the cost tonight was my night to be treated as a princess. I could have wept but held back from destroying my makeup.

The meal was lovely and we danced before and after, then suddenly he stood up and taping his glass, he brought the room to attention. It was then that I noticed mom and dad sat at another table with Marks parents. Suddenly Mark got down on one knee and held a box out to me. He lifted the lid and inside was a beautiful diamond ring.

“Katherine, I have loved you for a long time although I wasn’t able to express my love till this summer, I know this is a bit of a shock but I want nothing more than to spend my life with you, Katherine my princess will you consent to become my Queen, will you marry me?”

Tears streamed down my face, all the hurt pain and anguish I had suffered over the years meant nothing in the face of the joy I felt at that single moment of time. The thought of being married to Mark and having his children was wonderful, I was scared as hell but it felt magical.

Mark had given me a day as a princess, now my prince was asking me to be his queen, what could I say.

“YES!” I practically screamed.


 
 

THE END......

 

A big thanks to Maggie Finson for proof reading this and suggesting some changes. :)
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Comments

Nice

littlerocksilver's picture

... and sweet for a hot summer afternoon. :-) Portia

Portia

I can only say one thing:

AAAAAAAAAAAWWWW!

Faraway

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Very sweet

I just love happy endings.

I hope that her future makes up for her scarred past.

Don't you just love

happy endings!!! Thank you Megumi that was just the ending i wanted,

Hugs Kirri

Thank you

Athena N's picture

Sweet, even if the romance at the end was a little too quick.

I have to confess, though, that I'm starting to get tired of this idea that everything will turn out fine once the heroine is found to be intersexed (in other ways than just brain structure?). It tends to reinforce the insecurities of the rest of us...

The only reason I made the

The only reason I made the character IS was for ease of the story more than anything else, if I had left the character as TS it would have taken a lot more than 4 seasons to both become herself and find love.

Some of the story was semi-autobiographical the main difference is I am not IS but TS so I did have to go through many more seasons of fighting to be me. But for the flow of the story it made sense to use the IS route.

Your right though really there should be no diferential between IS and TS, some were lucky to have some of the correct organs and maybe 2 x's instead of one but it really should not matter. The character I wrote about even questions why she should be accepted as IS when she was denied as TS.

Megumi :)

Yule

Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p

You are right too

Athena N's picture

This was a good way to keep the the story from going on for a few more years, and all in all works pretty well. Also, like you say Katherine is rather upset by the reactions of others when she wakes up - and of course the overall idea of an IS girl being more acceptable than a TS one is all too plausible.

You need a happy ending once and a while

The dark side of me wanted our heroine to guilt mom into a murder/suicide with dear old stepdad.

Or at least she sues her disgusting parents for every F***ing penny they have and she ends up in their house while they end up living in a slum where they soon die. She's too good for her selfrightous parents but then her love redeems them all. Still that dark side of me wanted payback but hell, she'd had enough pain and wanted happiness so she sucked it up and forgave, nice kid.

About the only significant fault I have is why stepdad? I don't recall you mentioning she was divorcd/a single mom or a widow.

Minor flaw overall.

Sweet.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Hi John, As this is

Hi John,

As this is semi-autobiographical and the parents and childhood were mine I can answer why the step dad, my biological father ran off with another woman when I was one years old and my mom re-married when I was 3.

I suppose I could have added it the story but as I was only 3 when they married and as he is the only father I have known it never made any difference to me, I was at the wedding but was a little too young to really know what was happening and by the time I was old enough as far as I was concerned he was just dad.

Hope that helps

Megumi :)

Yule

Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p

Dear John:

Remind me to never piss you off.

Ray

All's Well That Ends Well

RAMI

All's Well That Ends Well.

Not much was said about the Step-Dad after the discovery was made.. How did he react? Will he walk his daughter down the aisle? Hopefully, he reacted positively.

RAMI

RAMI

?

How do you get to age none without knowing that there are boys and girls?