Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 649.

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Wuthering
Dormice

(aka Bike)
Part 649
by Angharad
       
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“Will she find out about me too, Mummy,” Trish asked as I drove away from the school.

“I’m not going to tell her, if that’s what you’re worried about?”

“No, Mummy, I know you won’t tell anyone.”

“I can’t be that generalised, I’m afraid, but I can say that no one without a need to know, will be told.”

Trish looked at me as she processed what I’d said. “I don’t understand, Mummy.”

“I won’t tell anyone about either of us, who doesn’t need to know–usually we’re talking doctors or people in the legal system–at least about you. As far as I’m concerned it’s been on the telly, so Peaches’ mother will find out fairly soon. If she doesn’t work things out first then it will all come out when the film is shown. I wish I’d never made it.”

“I’m sure it’s a lovely film, Mummy.”

“Thank you for your loyalty, sweetheart.” I put my arm around her and hugged her quickly.

“I love you, Mummy, more than anyone.”

“I think several people in our family might be disappointed to hear that, Trish.”

“Well it was you who said I could be a girl.”

“No, you said you thought you were a girl, I just allowed you to express it. The others all agreed with me.

“Why could you do that and not my original mummy? Why did she hate me?”

“We don’t know she did, Trish. I’ve told you before that you can say what you like about her, but as I’ve never met her, I won’t say anything in judgement upon her. I don’t know what her circumstances were, so it would be wrong of me to say anything.”

“I think she was horrible and she beat me. You’ve been nice to me, like a proper mummy.”

“My circumstances are different, Trish, don’t judge her on my standards, she’s different.”

“Why not? She’s horrible?”

“Right we’re home, in you go and change before you play.”

“Yes, Mummy.”

“You were a long time,” said Stella.

“Yeah, sorry about that, one of the mums was late collecting her offspring, so we waited with her.”

“It’s no problem but we were worried you’d had an accident.”

“Thanks for caring,” I felt quite good that someone was thinking about me.

“I don’t, but I’d have had to feed Mima.”

“Yes, well, thanks for your honesty–bitch!” She waltzed off sniggering.

I was getting dinner ready when Simon came into the kitchen. “Hi, Babes, how’s it going?”

“What? Dinner? Life? World peace?”

“Shall we start with dinner and work up to a new deal for Palestine?”

“Sounds good to me,” I said, almost purring as he put his arms around me and kissed me on the back of the neck. “That’s nice.” I dropped my knife in the sink and turned around to kiss him.

“Put him down, you don’t know where he’s been,” said Stella, coming in to warm Puddin’s bottle.” I gave her the finger, well my mouth was occupied, but she embarrassed Simon enough for him to pull away.

“One of these days, Cameron, I’m going to hit you with a saucepan,” I snapped at her.

“Violence in women, someone was appalled by it recently, if I recall correctly,” she gloated.

“Doesn’t apply to me, I can claim it was a behaviour imprinted upon me in a former life.”

“Objection,” she said sharply.

“On what grounds?” I asked.

“Hearsay evidence.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“We only have your word that you had a previous life, reincarnation is not generally accepted as a legal proposition.”

“Reincarnation? You silly bugger.”

“Go and play with your Barbie doll and leave the grown ups alone,” said Simon, beginning to lose patience with her disrupting his amorous moment, something she had done many times.

“Get you, Casanova, I don’t think–more like Hangover.”

“Push off, Stella, or words to that effect.”

“He always gets ratty when it comes to verbal sparring, mainly because he’s rubbish at it.”

“I freely confess that my tongue can’t work as fast as yours, but then mine isn’t fuelled by malice.”

“Isn’t that what Christopher Robin went down with?” she fired back at him. He really was outgunned and should know better.

“Go away, Stella, or I’ll get Puddin’ adopted,” said Simon, who had now lost the contest conclusively.

“That was malicious,” I said quietly.

“She brings out the worst in me.”

“Don’t let her get to you,” I said hugging him.

“So how was your day?” he said changing the subject.

“Okay, I had a spat with a woman in a 4x4, and waited with someone’s kid for them to come and get her. Turns out she works for the BBC, and has heard rumours that the dormouse film was narrated by a ’gender bender’.”

“That’s funny. I heard it was written and narrated by a woman, a very sexy one.” He hugged and kissed me again.

“As this is going to impact upon all of us, I wish now, I’d never made it.”

“Why? It’s going to save loads of dormeeces and you’ll be a new sex symbol.”

“I don’t want to be a sex symbol.”

“Tough kiddo, you shouldn’t look and sound so sexy.”

“I don’t,” I put my head on his shoulder.

“That’s a matter of opinion.”

“Oh shut up, Simon, you’d wolf whistle a bloke in a kilt.”

“Not since I was eleven and got threatened by my cousin who was wearing the kilt at the time,” he blushed.

“I’ll bet you’re sexy in one, though,” I said in a throaty voice.

“If you find kilts sexy, maybe you should marry a Scotsman,” he riposted..

“I am, stupid.”

“Oh yeah, so you are.”

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Comments

great as usual but...

Maddy Bell's picture

i've come away thinking i've missed something.

Mads


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Madeline Anafrid Bell

I can See

Stalla gets the best of everybody. No wonder with her quick wit. Simon in a kilt, will he wear blomers or pants? And how long will it be?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Actually as a proper Scotsman

He will probably wear nothing underneath it (at that's the tradition but we can't really know with Simon now, can we?)

"There's nothing ...

... worn under this kilt, madam. It's all in perrrfect working orrrder." Booboom! The old ones are always the best. Sorry, ladies and gents. And especially, of course, Gabi :)

Geoff

I was tempted…

…to post the same old chestnut, Geoff. Actually, many, many years ago I was having a lunchtime snack in a bar in Glasgow with a friend who was a whisky rep; he always wore the kilt for business as it seemed to boost sales. Anyway we were in this bar and there was a party of Australians in there. One of the Ozzie girls who had had a tinny or so too many tapped Hamish on the shoulder and asked loudly, “Say, mate, is anything worn under your kilt?” To the delight of the entire population of the bar he gave that answer, prefixing it with “No, madam”.

As the kilt was very much working dress for Hamish, when not working he wore normal trousers, and one Saturday he went into the pub of one of his customers in Byres Road to buy a couple of bottles of wine. The barmaid looked at him and didn't recognise him at first and then suddenly she announced at the top of her voice, “Och, it's yoursel’, Hamish, I didnae recognise you wi’ your troosers on.” This was followed by a sudden deathly hush and the rapid retreat of a blushing barmaid who had suddenly realised what she had said.

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

What I normally say...

"Is I wear my shoes and hose, under my kilt. Whatever else is there is is my business." or sometimes I say "...is for my wife to know."

Annette (Yes, I do play the pipes, and have my kilt & Prince Charlie jacket, etc...)

Simon performed better than usual

in the verbal sparing. Not all that good but better than usual. And Cathy needs to get over her celebrity status about the film. Embrace it Cathy, it's something you're good at so enjoy it.

Good to see Stella back

Good to see Stella back on top sparring form with Simon, If this was a boxing match poor Simon would'nt stand a chance he'd soon get knocked out.

Poor Trish still seems to feel a real dislike of her mother... Mind you so would i if my mummy had beat me!!! I do wonder if at some time in the future, Trishs real mummy might make an appearance... That could prove to very interesting if she was to meet Cathy!

Hugs Kirri

All I can say is...

I'm glad I don't know Stella... I don't know if I could deal with her constant sniping. *sighs*

Sorry to see Trish is so worried about being "found out" though. She has reason, but it's still sad.

Thanks,
Annette

Bike 647, Calm Before The Storm?

I must confess that reading this story is like trying to hang on the side of a rather spirited sail boat. I just never know what will happen at all and it makes me wonder if I can bear the repeated trauma with out suffering PTSD? :)

I simply can not do the sort of British Humor that these folk do. I always get bested and wind up teary; which makes it all the worse ... must not be smart enough.

Still it is a lovely story, and I have had the privelege of reading the whole thing to this point in just under 3 weeks. I'll be absolutely bereft when I have to start waiting for episodes like everyone else.

Khadija

Stella

I still think Stella snipes because #1 - she's insecure about herself(low self esteem). #2 - she's actually good @ it.
Stella & Cathy both have esteem issues, and they show it in different ways & coping mechanisms.
AND ANGHARAD
that's why you gotta keep my two sisters together & be nice to them for a few chapters. They seriously need each other
HUGGS

I have this vision...

of Stella meeting hoity toidy for the first time, knowing she is trying to hurt her sister. It will be fun. Gruesome, but fun.

Our tongues were honed well this morning.

Gwen, at least in sailboats they give us hiking straps.
A lot of that back and forth is tough for us sensitive Yanks. Some of those gibes would have me running out of the room.
And I'm called insensitive.

Cefin