Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 647

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Wuthering
Dormice

(aka Bike)
Part 647
by Angharad
       
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“Where have you been?” Stella asked as I let myself into the house.

“Had a run in with another parent; I need a wee, ’scuse me.” I rushed into the cloakroom and dealt with my plumbing needs. I emerged a few minutes later. “What time have we got to be at the register office?”

“Midday, the woman said.”

It was ten thirty. “Stella we have loads of time, even if we allow an hour to get there, we have half an hour to sort ourselves out.”

“I just panic that I won’t be ready in time, you’re much more experienced with kids than I am.”

“Yeah, all of about three weeks, and mine are potty trained.”

She disappeared into the lounge and picked up Puddin’, who was wearing a lovely frilly dress in a pale green colour. “Did she choose that herself or did you pick it?”

“I did, Mummy, I choosed it for baby Puddin’.”

“Ah, Portsmouth’s answer to Trinny and Susannah,” I said and Stella smirked.

“Oh bugger, I can’t get this nappy to fix,” Stella said throwing the empty packet on the floor.”

I had a look and peeled off the non-stick paper on the sticky bit and sealed it. She slapped her forehead and I shrugged. It’s so much easier when you’re not the one going bananas.

I checked Mima, she was still pretty clean and tidy, so on with her coat and she was ready to go, then she remembered her dormouse toy. It reminded me that I’d agreed to make one for Puddin’–when, I had time.

Puddin’ was gift wrapped in coats and hats, gloves and a blanket. I knew the wind was a little fresh, but possibly Stella was overdoing the insulation bit–I think the fridge had less than the baby.

She placed the now sleeping infant into her carrycot and that went on the back seat of the car, and Mima was asked not to touch her while she was sleeping. Generally speaking, Mima was quite good with direct instructions, it was Trish who wanted to know why?

We were early at the Register Office, and rather than sit in the car waiting, we went for a short walk. Stella was soon taking her coat off and I urged her to unwrap some of Puddin’s clothing or she’d catch fire.

“I can’t do that, they catch cold so easily, their thermoregulation doesn’t work when they’re very young.”

“I know, Stella, which is why I’m concerned she could get too hot as well as take a chill.”

“Oh shit, I hadn’t thought of that–see, I told you, that you knew more about babies than I did.”

She took off a layer of baby packing. “I’m sure she’ll still be warm enough. C’mon, we have to go,” I urged Stella and Mima through the door and into the offices proper.

“Can you look after the baby and I’ll go and do the paperwork.”

“If you like. C’mon, Meems, we’ll see if we can play chariot racing with Puddin’s buggy.”

“Can I drive, Mummy?”

“Let’s go and find a suitable site for our circus.”

“Don’t you dare hurt my baby, Catherine Watts.”

“Don’t worry, they bounce.” My reply was intended to sound dismissive but she twigged and laughed at me.

“It’ll be on your insurance.”

“Ah, insurance, not my favourite word; okay we’ll go carefully. C’mon, Meems.”

She was out ten or fifteen minutes later with an envelope. She stopped me as I walked past to check on Puddin’. There was a great risk that she was going to crack this baby care business.

“So how’d it go?” I asked.

“Okay, I’ve got a couple of birth certificates here.”

“Can I see?”

“Later, let’s go and get some lunch,” suggested Stella.

We drove off and parked in town, not far from a quite passable restaurant. Of course it was closed, so we walked on to the next. This one was open and I ordered a tuna baguette, while Mima had egg and chips, and Stella, soup and a roll.

“So, let’s see the docs then.”

“What?” asked Stella.

“The documents, what have you called little Petunia, then?”

“It isn’t Petunia, that’s for sure. Only a moron would call their daughter by a name like that.”

“So what did you call the baby, then?”

“Just wait and see.”

“We have waited and seen, now tell us or I’ll set Meems on you. Growl at her Meems.”

She made a snarling noise which sounded entirely too realistic.

“Oh alright, hang on, I left my handbag behind, either in the car or the Register Office.”

“Right let’s go and see.” It was in the car, fully on display, so she was lucky not to have lost it.

“Thank goodness, for that.” She seemed to become less agitated and suggested going back to the pub.

“Let’s go home shall we?” Stella was outvoted, even Puddin’ seemed to want to go home. Half an hour after we got home, it chucked it down and it was still raining after we finished lunch.

“Right, no more messing around. What have you called the baby?”

“Here, see for yourself.” She flipped the envelope towards me.

“Desirée, Catherine?” I gasped after opening it and extracting the paper from inside.

“That’s it,” said Stella, checking on the baby.

“So it’s baby Desi, then?”

“Nah, until she goes to school, I’m going to call her, Puddin’.”

“So should I feel honoured?” I asked.

“Why? I named her after Catherine Cookson, your favourite author.”

“My what?, I picked up a walking stick and chased her squealing round the house. It was a well known fact that I didn’t like Ms Cookson’s writing, which I found puerile, even though many disagreed with me on that.

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Comments

Name change

Obviously, if this Ms. Cookson doesn't meet with Cathy's approval, she'll just have to change her name. Nobody is allowed to smudge our Cathy's name. ;-)

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

There's a slight problem…

…in that Catherine Cookson got there first; she was born in 1906 and lived to the age of 92, dying in 1998 so it would be a little difficult for her to change her name She wrote about 107 books which sold in millions and a number of her books formed the basis for films and television. Personally, I don't like her writing, but she is still very popular, even 10 years after her death.

For more info check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_Cookson

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

So?

She's dead, she doesn't need it anymore. ;-)

KJT


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

I Knew It! STELLA :)

Has finally pranked Cathy, but good. I am sure that she has been wanting to do this, for awhile. And I do believe that Bonzi and his Mistress, BOTH set us up for this chuckle.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Have to agree with Cathy

Have to agree with Cathy there... Catherine Cookson is very hard work!!!

So now we know, Desiree Catherine Cameron it is!!! Maybe Puddin" is'nt such a bad name after all!

Makes you wonder...What sort of a mess Stella would have got into with good old fashioned terry nappys, All that folding,safety pins,nappy liners, etc... Who says things were better then?

Kirri

Interesting, very interesting..

Should I look up this Ms. Cookson's writing? :-) Okay, I did (on Wikipedia)... Not a small body of writing.

Now, I do find that Stella's name selection is nicer than it COULD have been. LOL... Some of the names my parents SAID they thought about naming me... Much worse than the one they did end up hanging on me (despite the expectation that I'll be done with it before I shuffle off this mortle coil)... And, the ones my father-in-law wanted to hang on his daughter (my wife)... Ewww. I'm sooo glad she's NOT "Hepsabah" (and that was the nicest of the bunch!)... :-)

Fun story, I'm a LITTLE surprised Stella never asked about the "rukus" at the school... But, she WAS a little distracted. LOL

Thanks,
Annette

DCC?

That's Desiree Catherine Cameron ... or possibly Dorset County Council. Now I know where you got the baby's name as I'm sure it wasn't inspired by Derbyshire County Council ;)

Geoff

Thank Goodness!

jengrl's picture

Thank goodness Stella picked a name that is much better than Desdemona. Desiree Catherine is a pretty name and will be much better for this little one as she grows up and goes to school. I hope that Stella has turned a corner in her recovery and bonds even more with her little girl.

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Agreed,

I suspect the second choice. Not great, but good. The name has some interesting connotations though.

That was sweet...

Enjoyed the line: "She slapped her forehead and I shrugged. It’s so much easier when you’re not the one going bananas."

But Stella's name for the baby was really sweet. Hope Cathy does feel really honored.

And nice to see that Stella, even though she seems a little frazzled, has her sense fo humor back.

Who would have thought…

…when we read this a year ago that we shall be reading EPISODE 1000 tonight?

A brilliant and magnificent achievement, Ang.

Hugs,

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Two lunches?

Seems they had lunch in a restaurant and also when they got home.
Bronwen the nit-picker. (Well it shows I'm paying attention)
BTW - I like Puddin's official name. It would certainly be Desi in Australia - we shorten every name we can here.

They must have

Angharad's picture

been very hungry that day.

Angharad

The death of a snob

You two know what I look like, I often have two lunches. I have TB (3 Stooges, two bellies)
We knew Stella wouldn't saddle the kid with a horrible name. That was touching.
I finally got a Stooges quote in.

Cefin