The Princess and the Plague : 6

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The Princess and the Plague
(Life after Camp Kumoni)

By Anistasia Allread
Edited by none other than Nick B

“You’ll have to tell my mom.”

“I already have.” Dr. Barts winked.

     

duckling.jpg

Eric lay curled up on his bed. He had closed the shades on his window and turned off all of the lights except his small desk lamp.

His cell phone rang. His eyes darted to it, but he made no movement to answer it. A few moments later, the voice mail alarm sounded. He closed his eyes trying to will the world away.

His cell phone began to ring again. He sighed, picked it up and looked at the caller I.D. He swiped it open and put it to his ear, “Yes, what do you want?”

“Are you okay?” Samantha asked.

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me.”

“So you saw the pictures then?”

There was a pause, “Yes.” Samantha affirmed.

“Well, that didn’t take long.”

“Do you want company? I can come over.”

“No.”

“Would you like me to call Tricia?”

“No.”

“Eric. . . “

“Nothing will change will it,” Eric stated. “Is the picture posted on the Warthog website yet?”

There was another pause. “Yes.” Samantha listened to Eric’s slow easy breathing. “Eric?”

“What?”

“Can I please come over?”

“No, I feel like being alone.”

“Eric, you’re scaring me.” Samantha’s voice was tense, “You’re sounding like Summer before she… died.”

“I won’t kill myself. It would delight too many people.”

“Don’t say things like that, Eric, please.”

“Why? it’s true.” Eric mumbled. “Greg and Tyler would laugh until they pissed their pants. Then they’d laugh some more. Then they would spread even more vicious rumors about me.

“We’ll just have to show them all,” Samantha stated.

“Sure, like that will ever happen. The Greg’s and Tyler’s and Josh’s of this world will always have an easy ride. They will always have someone there to bail them out, someone to give them breaks that others can’t get. And when they die people will have nothing but good to say about them. They will never get shown anything, Samantha.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“I’ll come by in the morning so that we can do that run through,” Samantha promised.

“Sure, whatever.”

Eric hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, making sure it hit a pile of clothes instead of a wall. The act didn’t make him feel any better.

“Fuck!” he swore.

“Hey!” his mother called from down stairs, “Watch your language.”

Eric looked around his room, he was angry and hurt and wanted to take it out on something, wanted to break something.

He stormed into his bathroom, having found nothing to vent on. He slipped out of his clothes and stepped into a shower.

–o0o–

“Are you ready to go?” Samantha asked as Eric answered the door.

“Yes,” Eric sighed. He called back into the house. “Mom, I’m going out with Samantha for a bit.”

“Be back by noon, we have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon.”

“Yes, Mom.” He shut the door behind him.

“We’ll have to walk to Tricia’s for a month or so, until I get my driver’s license,” Samantha informed.

“When is your birthday?” Eric inquired.

“November eleventh. Once I get my license, I’ll pick you up and take you to Tricia’s then drive all three of us to school.”

The two walked down the street in silence. The only sounds were from the street traffic, the call of swallows and finches, as well as the soft sounds of their feet on the sidewalk. Summer was coming to a close. It was still warm out, but traces of autumn could be scented in the soft breeze that stirred.

“Are you feeling any better?” Samantha asked.

“About what?”

“About the fountain thing.”

Eric shrugged. “I’ll get over it.”

“I called Tyler and told him he was an ass for doing that,” Samantha commented.

“Oh.”

“What did your mother do?”

“She was in a store and didn’t see anything other than me in the fountain. She wanted to call security or the cops, but I warned her against it.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Because it wouldn’t have done any good and if they got in trouble they would only take it out on me two-fold,” Eric told her.

“How do you know?”

“Because that is what always happens when they do something like that.” Eric’s voice was hurt. “They get a slap on the wrist, but I’m the one that feels the pain. It’s just like that whole flagpole incident. They did that in retaliation to me ratting them out as the ones who dragged me out of the shower after gym class and locked me in the equipment room naked and wet.”

“They did what?” Samantha was dumbfounded.

The two turned down a side street.

“You heard me.”

“I didn’t hear that they did that to you.” Samantha looked alarmed.

“When I was found by the custodian that afternoon, I spent an hour in the Vice Principal’s office writing out a report naming the ones who did it.” Eric’s face was twisted in pain as he related the story, “The Assholes retaliated with the flagpole.”

“I’m sorry,” Samantha meant it.

“I just wish I could either transfer schools or be home schooled,” Eric thought aloud. “But if I transfer schools, I’ll just end up at the butt end of that school’s Greg and Tyler’s bullying. It would just take a few months for them to figure out who I was.”

“What did your parents do?” Samantha asked.

“Nothing.” Eric grumbled. “The whole episode was swept under the rug by the school as a misfortunate incident. They couldn’t put jock scholarships in jeopardy after all.”

“But still…” Samantha was appalled.

“Please, drop it, Samantha.” Eric pleaded. “It just gets me more depressed.”

The two walked in silence. Each lost in their own thoughts.

They walked up to Tricia’s front door. Samantha knocked. “Well, we’re trying to do something about it now… Erika.” She stressed that last word.

Eric gave her a weak smile.

Tricia greeted them with excitement. “Good morning.” She took note of Eric’s somber face, “What’s wrong?”

“Eric had a bad day yesterday,” Samantha informed her.

“Uh oh, what happened?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Eric replied with a sharp look at Samantha.

“So how long did it take you two to get here?” Tricia questioned.

Samantha looked at her cell’s clock and frowned, “Twenty minutes.”

“You’ll have to work on speeding that up,” Tricia observed. “Come on up.”

The three climbed the stairs to Tricia’s room.

“I cleared a part of my closet out for you.” Tricia showed them. “It’s not much, but it will do for now.”

“Thanks Tricia.” Eric smiled.

“One question I had was; did you want me to pick and lay out an outfit for you, or would you rather put it together yourself?”

“I think for now, I wouldn’t mind you getting it ready for me.” Eric suggested.

“Okay,” Tricia went into the closet, pulled out a Erika’s breast forms, gaffe, skirt, nylons, camisole and a top. “Go get changed. Samantha, time him.”

Eric took the armful into the bathroom and began to sort out the outfit.

Tricia leaned up against the bathroom door, “I picked out the most time-consuming outfit for you to put on, to see how long it takes you.”

A few minutes later, Erika opened the door to show her two friends.

“You’re going to have to start learning how to do your hair and makeup yourself.” Tricia observed. “I’ll do it today, but you’ll need to be doing it during the school week. I’ll be busy getting my own stuff done.”

“I’ve been doing it most of the Summer.” Erika protested.

Tricia sighed. “That was minimal. You’ll need to be doing a bit more for school.”

Tricia stood beside Erika as they looked in the mirror. Tricia explained what she was doing to Erika’s face and why. She then showed Erika how to use a flat iron, and a curling iron.

“How long did that take?” Tricia asked Samantha.

“Too long,” she reported. “Dressing took just over five minutes, which is kind of understandable, but you’ll have to really do better on hair and makeup. Throwing your hair in a ponytail will work occasionally, but you don’t want to become one of those girls who only wears her hair one way. Some days you can get away with just mascara and maybe a little lip gloss, but again, you don’t want to develop a habit of looking like you don’t care.”

Tricia looked at the other two. “Shall we get some lunch?”

“I promised my mother I would be back at noon. I have a doctor’s appointment.”

“Leeza can drive you home. That would give us enough time.”

Erika nodded.

Tricia smiled, “I’ve got it all downstairs.”

The girls went down to the kitchen, where Tricia presented them with a plate of various sandwiches, vegetables and treats.

“Been busy?” Samantha observed.

“I like to entertain,” Tricia admitted. “Would you like tea?” She asked bobbing a curtsy.

Tricia seated them around the table and poured them some tea. “Leeza should be home in just a few minutes. After we are done eating, you can shower and change, then she can take you home.”

“Who knows about us doing this?” Erika questioned.

Tricia looked confused.

“Do your parents know that I’m coming over to change at your place?” Erika asked.

“No. They know that you will be stopping by before and after school, but they don’t know why.”

“What about Leeza?”

“She believes that your mother knows, but your father doesn’t, and that is why you have to change here instead of home. So, your dad doesn’t find out, yet. Which is kind of true,” Tricia gave a weak smile.

–o0o–

Eric followed by his mother entered Dr. Barts waiting room. Eric picked up a National Geographic and collapsed into one of the chairs.

“How often will I have to come to Dr. Farts office, anyway?” Eric asked.

“That depends upon you and her.” Mrs. Martin ignored the slight towards the doctor.

“Mrs. Martin?” Dr. Barts called.

Eric’s mother greeted the psychologist and joined her.

Eric thumbed through the magazine looking at the colorful glossy pictures, colorful fish on a coral reef, bright yellows and blues, pink’s and oranges. The thought of water brought with it the memories of the mall and the fountain. He didn’t realize how tightly he was holding the magazine until he heard the slight tearing of paper. He took a deep breath and forced himself to hold the magazine more lightly. He looked about and found another magazine and exchanged the one he held for it.

Three more days.

Three more days until school started. Erika would have to forget those that Eric knew; forget the teachers; forget the hatred for those who played pranks on him. She would even have to lose her way around the school to play the part of a new student.

“Eric, are you ready?” Dr. Barts asked from the door.

His mother was already speaking with the receptionist. Eric cleared his head and smiled at Dr. Barts as he joined her. Once in her office, Eric flopped down in a chair allowing it to swallow him as if he was a snail hiding from the world in its shell. The sweet smell of the office was becoming familiar to him. It carried with it the feelings of anxiety, overlaid with a thin layer of safety. Dr. Farts was one that he was supposed to bare his mind and soul and heart to, but a part of him was still panicky about anyone but his camp friends knowing.

Dr. Barts sat down in her chair and looked at him for a long while. “That’s a nice shirt you have on. Do you like Atreyu?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Eric looked over the room.

“Have you been to any of their concerts?”

Eric was surprised that she knew that Atreyu was a band. “Not yet. They were here this last summer, but I was at camp,” he shrugged.

“I heard you had an incident at the mall the other day.”

Eric looked at the floor and bit his lip.

“You want to talk about it?”

Eric shrugged again. “It won’t change anything. Not even you can change the past.”

“No, but it could help me understand what is going on in that incredible mind of yours.” She prodded.

“Some jerks from school saw me at the mall and decided to have some fun,” Eric explained with a dead tone in his voice. “They decided it would be funny to push me into a fountain.”

Dr. Barts nodded and changed the subject. “How was your slumber party?”

Eric’s mouth twitched as a sparkle touched his eyes.

“I take it, you had a good time?”

“Yes.”

“What did you do?”

“We went shopping, then watched movies, ate pizza, you know, hung out.”

“Did you go to the sleep over as Eric or Erika?”

Eric blushed. “Erika.”

“And did you enjoy your time as Erika?”

Eric nodded.

“Why do you think you enjoyed being Erika?”

“I felt free, more comfortable.”

“How did you feel more comfortable?”

“I’m not sure. I think as Eric I am forced by society to act in a way that is uncomfortable, not really me, or who I am. I can let down that guard, those walls when I am Erika.”

“Can’t you allow Erika’s strength to seep into Eric, to bolster him? Make him more comfortable?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“What do you think would have happened if Erika had been pushed into the fountain?” Dr. Barts posed.

“Well, she would have screamed, then chased the bastard down and beat him.”

“Why couldn’t you as Eric have done the same?”

“As Eric, ‘The Plague’ I have no friends, no one to call to for aid, or to back me up. I would have people pointing, laughing as I was pummeled by Tyler.” Eric’s voice was venomous. “Erika on the other hand has been known to rally troops. Tyler would not fight back against her, nor would people passing by try and pull her from him, instead, others would probably come to her aid.”

“Eric, did you want to get up and kick his butt?”

Eric nodded. “I would like to, but as I told my friend Samantha, every time I have tried to fight back, I’ve always ended up in a worse situation. The flagpole incident was a retaliation for me going to the school admin over a prank.”

“Erika sounds like an interesting person.” Dr. Barts smiled.

Eric shrugged.

“Your mom says that you were wearing mascara when you were pushed into the fountain. Do you find yourself wearing makeup often?”

Eric shrugged, “Every once in a while. When I look in the mirror, I don’t look or feel ‘finished’. Putting on a bit of something seems to help. It makes me feel better.”

“I can understand that.” Dr. Barts agreed. “I don’t feel ‘finished’ if I don’t have a dab of perfume on.”

“It’s a wonderful scent by the way.”

“Thank you.” Dr. Barts sat looking at Eric loosing herself in her thoughts. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Depends,” Eric shrugged.

“Could you come as Erika next visit?”

“I thought the point of these sessions was to get rid of my wanting to be a girl.”

“Whoever told you that?”

“Isn’t that why my mother is making me come here?”

“No, Eric, your mother is bringing you here to try and help you figure out who you are, and to help you become comfortable with who you are.”

“Then why is she so adamant against me being Erika?”

“Have you ever considered that she may be mourning the possible loss of her son?”

Eric sat stunned into silence. “No,” he admitted.

“When she discovered that you were wearing mascara, did she get upset and demand that you stop wearing makeup?”

Eric swallowed. “No.”

“When she let you go spend the night at your friends as Erika, did she get upset?”

“She didn’t know that I went as Erika,” he defended.

“Didn’t she? How do you know?” Dr. Barts asked.

The shrink was beginning to make him start doubting himself. “She didn’t say anything about it.”

“Do you think it might be because she loves you and wants you to figure this out for yourself and to be happy with what you choose?”

“Then why won’t she let me be Erika at home?” Eric protested.

“Maybe it is because she hasn’t told your father yet and she is afraid that you might cause a rift in the family if you don’t present it to your dad in the right way.”

“Oh.” Eric felt abashed.

Dr. Barts sighed. “Eric, this situation that you are finding yourself in, this choice that you have to eventually make effects the people around you in ways that you might not have considered.”

Eric was silent.

“Your mother wants you to be happy. She hurts every time she sees you hurt. She gets depressed whenever you are depressed. You are going through a very difficult time right now; in a lot of ways, more so than other kids your age.”

Dr. Barts took a breath. “Your mother wants you to be happy, but your happiness may cost her the son that she gave birth to. The little boy that she bought trucks to play with, the man who is supposed to bring grandkids into her life. That is just the beginning of the effects your choice will have on people.”

“So you’re saying that I shouldn’t be Erika?”

Dr. Barts shook her head, “No, I’m saying that I want you to make an informed decision. I want you to know what this decision will do to those around you. Not just your family, but your neighbors, and classmates, to the barista at Starbucks. I want you to look at it from every possible angle before you choose to be Erika, or to choose to be Eric.”

“Wow, you’ve given me a lot of things to think about.” Eric admitted.

“That is my job.” Dr. Barts smiled. She paused, “So next time can I meet Erika?”

Eric nodded, “You’ll have to tell my mom.”

“I already have.” Dr. Barts winked. She stood up and escorted Eric to the door. “I’m looking forward to meeting Erika next week.”

“Okay.” Eric didn’t know what to say. He felt like he was being undressed and exposed to this person. Not just his body, but his mind and soul as well. He felt like he did the morning before he introduced his mom to Erika. “Thanks,” he almost squeaked as he left.


To be continued…

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Comments

Oh, Well Turned Around

joannebarbarella's picture

Mum is no longer a demon but a woman trying to grapple with her son's problems. and Dr. Barts is obviously a shrink who knows what she's shrinking,
Nice,
Joanne

The Plague Has

Now met a friend in Doctor Barts. Will be interesting to see if Erika can give Eric the strength to end his torment or if he will become Erika.
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Shrinkwrapped

terrynaut's picture

Kewl! Thanks for the early edition of P&P. I thought it only posted on Tuesdays.

I really like the direction this sequel is taking. It's quite interesting how you refuse to commit Eric/Erika.

I'm liking Dr. Barts more and more and I'm happy to see Eric's mom being shown in a more favorable light.

Please keep up the good work Ms. A. :)

- Terry

Trouble Commenting

I really get wrapped up in this story of yours, which can be a problem when it comes to posting a comment.

Now, there's no question that you deserve an appreciative comment for each of these amazing chapters you post. Where the trouble arises is that you keep hitting my empathy reflex, and hard! Empathizing with Eric is a real problem. One ends up furious, and frustrated, and depressed, and speechless.

Which is, most astute readers will note, not what the story is about at all!

So, just because I'm sitting here after some chapters, fists clenched and indignant over Eric's treatment in his world, doesn't mean I don't see the ray of sunshine in the story or the joys of Erika -- those of being herself or in the love and acceptance of her friends. It just means I don't know how to tell the author what a great job she's doing.

It's a bit fast, but...

Perhaps Dr. Barts is really good... And, Erika has a lot of time (recently) out in public. It's nice to see the teen forced to think about how his/her actions impact others. I just hope he/she doesn't let them totally control who he/she is. This leads to a path of ever increasing stress. I dunno if Eric's stubborn enough to hack it for 30 or 50 more years... Specially having had this past summer's experience. This teen REALLY needs to examine who he/she is, and who he/she CAN be.

Now, school starting in 3 days, and Dr. Barts meets Erika in a week... A LOT can happen in that week. Imagine if Eric had really trusted her day one, and/or they'd had a few months to get started... Erika might be starting school "legit". Wonder, if Dr. Barts will be able to "make it retroactive" a recommendation to let Erika go to school. I'm really concerned about the girls (& Eric)... They're trying to keep the adults out of the loop. And, when things blow up, as they generally do, the parents have a LOT of catchup to do to even decide if they want to help.

Thanks for continuing.
Annette

Another Great Chapter Anastasia!

KristineRead's picture

Oh my, what a ride Eric / Erika is on.

This chapter certainly raises some interesting questions.

1. What was in the pictures, does it show the mascara running, or just Eric in the fountain.

2. Posting of such pictures on the school website would typically be grounds for reprimand at the very least. Even if they were smart enough to not post pictures of the actual pushing, posting humiliating pictures would be punished. So this is just more evidence the school is not doing it's job.

3. How is Eric going to be able to come to Dr. Barts office as Erika, when he supposedly has none of his things left. That conversation with his mother should be interesting. Does he acknowledge that Tricia has them, especially the breast forms. If he has to go to Dr. Barts dressed, he will need the forms to be at home, but that will be a problem for the day to day needs to go to school secretly, or does he end up using the lesser forms that he had at the beginning of the summer for those meetings. And what about an outfit. Does he tell his mother they are all gone, or does he have to go get a new one.

4. How long before Leeza finds out that she has been lied to about his mother's permission/knowledge about him going to school as Erika? Not particularly bright on Leeza's part to not insist on hearing that from her personally. That is going to be a problem at some point.

5. Have they managed to get the records changed? If not that first day of school is going to be a big problem.

6. I'd sure like to have heard the meeting between his mother and Dr. Barts.

7. Dr. Barts questioned whether his mother knew or not about his going to the party as Erika. Is she telling Eric something she knows for a fact, or is she just asking the question. Hard to say, since we didn't hear the conversation. Did Dr. Barts see the picture on the school website, and did she show his mother.

I'm sure there are other questions that come to mind as well, and I look forward to another great chapter from Anastasia.

Great work as always AA!

Hugs,

Kristy

Erika's Mother Needs To Clear The Air

jengrl's picture

Erika's mother needs to clear the air with her instead of making her feel bad for trying to be who she is. At the very least, she needs to let her know that she sympathizes with her about the bullying instead of making it seem like she doesn't care. I realize that she is grieving, but she needs to communicate with Erika rather than letting Dr. Barts tell Erika how she feels. Most mothers I know, will walk through fire if their child is being harmed. She needs to be more proactive and vocal about the way her child is being treated by these goons. How will she feel if something more serious happens? She needs to apologize for blaming her child for their own bullying.

PICT0013_1_0.jpg

The percieved loss of power

In the GBLT community, their analysis of why men seem to "hate" Transwomen is that men know that they have more power than women in many ways, and they just can not understand why one of their own would want to give it up. It is profoundly threatening. I am excited to see where AA takes this. :)

Gwendolyn

Thanks for the ride

Ms AA,
I for one am enjoying the rollercoaster ride. My empathetic fellings are everywhere with Erica and that for me is wonderful. Where we go next is ... I can't wait.

Wendy Marie

Wendy Marie

I like the way you do that

I'm talking about the way you portray the characters' actions in one light, leaving us prone to feeling one way about them, then turn around in the next chapter and show those same actions in a slightly different light, changing their apparent meaning entirely. Dr. Barts is a wonderful foil for the other characters in this regard, since that's part of her job as a therapist, when working out solutions to conflicts.

The point she makes about considering the effects of Eric's choice on others is an important one, but it needs to be tempered by two other considerations she's not explicit about: the idea that remaining Eric is an active choice with its own set of negative consequences on those around him to be considered, and the idea that while he needs to consider the needs of others, he can't simply deny his own needs in favor of theirs. He strikes me as the kind of caring and empathic soul who might just do that for the people he cares about, and not even say anything, not wanting to burden them with guilt about it.

Now, the question is: Will Erika consider the consequences to those around her of going to school as Erika vs. Eric, before she crosses that Rubicon? And if she does, will it change, or maybe postpone, her decision? That's a lot for her to ponder, and not a lot of time left in which to do it.

Thought provoking episode

The psychologist is trying to get Eric to understand what a profound thing transitioning would mean to his/her life and of course to those around him/her. But that is what cross-living is meant to provide ... perspective. Being able to do it anonymously gives Eric/Erika a chance to choose to de-transition if she finds it is not the life she wants - with less pain.

No matter what though I really can't see Erika being totally extinguished. Eric by wanting to express even in a situation where there was not a need to ( shopping with mum ) shows being Erika is not merely for window dressing but a real need and crossdressing part-time is not sufficient. She lived a whole Summer as a girl and as far as I can tell, she did not experience what a closeted crossdresser goes through after say dressing full-time during a gender convention - it 'wears' on them after a while and they can't wait to get back into male clothing. Alternatively, could she be a 'True Crossdresser' ? I do not believe clothes is the thing for her but she uses it more to focus the best Erika she can be out in the world.

That said, how far will he/she go ? As we all know, we have a wide gender spectrum but the irony is that there is far more resistance to people who don't have the surgery versus those who are merely transgendered or non-op. My partner is non-op and stuff like Real-ID Act has the potential to put a real monkey wrench on having 'F' on one's ID.

I am not saying it is not possible with a lot of support from her parents that living transgender with no surgery but it is possible. Finally, as we all know, she is young and in a sense the clock is ticking for a nice transition as her voice clearly has not really deepened and since puberty has happened, her genetic future can be sperm banked so the argument that there will be no grandchildren is a spurious argument. The real impact IMHO are social ones.

Finally, I would like to go out on a limb and predict that Erika's mother will be involved in this going to school as a girl thing. Frankly, Erika's mother needs to be demystified as well as spend some time doing mother-daughter bonding so she can better decide what the pros and cons are as she has spent scarcely half a day with Erika at camp.

Knowing the author though she will whipsaw us by introducing other elements we have not considered yet and I will have egg on my face.

Worth it though :) (BTW I like mine sunny side up please ;))

Kim

Sorry for the correction...

... but the band's name is Atreyu, the same as the boy from The Neverending Story.

Other than that... well, I'm waiting with baited breath. This is the sort of story I wish I could put off for several weeks and read in a big bunch, but I haven't the self control not to read each new chapter when they appear in the Topshelf.

Write on!

Questions:

Jezzi Stewart's picture

** “You’re going to have to start learning how to do your hair and makeup yourself.” Tricia observed. **

Didn't she learn this during camp? I thought she did.

** “Can’t you allow Erika’s strength to seep into Eric, to bolster him? Make him more comfortable?” ...
“As Eric, ‘The Plague’ I have no friends, no one to call to for aid, or to back me up. **

Wouldn't the girls have backed him up? Dr. Barts is expressing what I've felt all along. Eric needs to let Erika help him to be a new Eric. This whole sneaking to school as Erika is just running away and there are just too many holes in the plan for it to succeed for long, if at all. I think only as Eric as a non-plague boy for awhile can really make an honest decision. (Although I gotta admit I'm rooting for Erika. Gosh, I wonder why :-)

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

Wow

I wish I could say more than that, but for now that's all I've got. I like this doctor; the way she gently gets Eric to see other people's side...

I remember those visits to the psych doc

when I was 12. My dad left for Vietnam for a year. I would not see him until the R&R trip to Hawaii. That island trip coincided with the Apollo 11 trip to the moon. I was ready to crawl into a hole and not be found. I know what it's like with hardly any friends at that time. There were good times and bad times during then.

Hello Miss Allread!! ^____^ ;-D

Now we see Eric having to start make choices. He finally has friends that will help him. He knows it will be an uphill battle no matter which direction he goes. Eric does not see the light at the end of the tunnel. Erika does see the light. Will Erika help Eric see the light at the end of the tunnel? Tricia will certainly want to know that answer some day. He will be a fool if he rejects her. Then he will deserve the hell in being alone for a long time.

Take care everyone. Have a wonderful week. Stay warm everyone, it is cold out there in some places around the world. If it's cold in the Northern Hemisphere right now. That means our Down Under friends are enjoying some great weather right now. But I hear they are experiencing a heat wave and drought in Aussie right now. Maybe a trip a tropical island will help warm up our bodies. It's all in the head that you tell yourself that you are warm!! hah, hah, hah....

Rachel

I think

that to summarize the hope of most of the readers here is that it is a Strong Eric that ultimately chooses to be Erika and not merely because it is a means to safety at school. There is no reason why it can accomplish both if Erika's support system ( which includes her mother ! ) will back her to the hilt.

The point that Dr F..a errr Barts is trying to make saying that Erika's strength can help bolster Eric is a little bit pollyanish. One person's strength is not always translatable - that is not fungible - into someone else, especially someone of a different gender. Some of Erika's strength only works in the context of the social role that she fitted into. That was covered in depth in Kumoni so I will go go into it.

In short Erik's qualities fits into a woman's world much more comfortably.

This does not mean he needs to be a woman down to the genitals of course and that is why I feel the TG ( not TS ) path with maybe some chemical help would be right for her. How our wonderful author will get us from point A to point B is that is why I Keep Coming Back.

It Works When You Work It ! ;-).

Kim