Over the River and Through the Woods
By Maggiethekitten

Just a little light-hearted non-transgender travel tale for Thanksgiving

“If you love me, you’ll love my family, Jeff. Some of them are almost as crazy as I am,” Jill quipped as she buckled herself in and made the customary head count.

Jeff just smiled, and did what he loved doing best; being with the woman he loved, be that alone, with her kids, or on a six hour drive to Michigan to have his first Thanksgiving dinner with the whole clan.

“Now”, Jill turned to face to three of her four soldiers. The littlest was sandwiched in the front seat between her and Jeff, “you all know the drill. This is a six hour drive. I know it’s asking a lot to keep the four of you”, she made a quick glance down to the front to be sure no one was left out, “caged like this without killing each other, but I expect all of you to make a sincere effort to at least try and get along.

Eyes rolled and grumbles were heard from the backseat. Jill gave Jeff a quick glance and flashed that playfully evil smile of hers that he so loved.

“Dissension in the ranks already? Well do keep this in mind, ladies. I told your grandparents I’d bring you all up for Thanksgiving, but whether you would arrive dead or alive was never specified.”

Silence reigned supreme for a moment. “As I see it”, she continued to lay it on thick, “there’s enough room for the three smallest bodies in the trunk if we break up a few bones when we pack ‘em in, and Erin, we’ll just strap you to the hood and disguise you as an elk. If anyone stops us, we’ll tell them we were hunting in Minnesota.”

“Now, do I make myself clear ladies?”

She was answered with two nods and two, "Yes moms."

“Okay before we go … do we have everything and does anybody need anything, anything at all?”

Jill looked from face to face, and all four girls were silent.

“Jeff?” she turned to face her handsome companion.

“No, I’m good”.

Jill smiled and winked, adding with a whisper, “You better be good or I’ll be bad.”

Then realizing what she’d said, quickly amended her statement, “I take that back, you better be good or I won’t be bad.”

Jeff did his fro-doggety daddy whimper and whined, “If I’m very, very good will you be very, very bad?”

She didn’t answer. She just left him to ponder the question.

Without another word, Jill started the car and began backing out of the garage. No sooner had she gotten out of the driveway than all the usual started.

“Hey, you cow”, Samantha hollered at Erin. “Move over a little. Your butt takes up half the back seat.”

“Listen, you little bony porcupine”, Erin fired back. “Get your elbow out of my ribs.

“Mom?” said Tina the third backseat musketeer, “I need to go back inside. The batteries on my MP-3 player just died.”

Jill raised a hand and showed Jeff three fingers, then slowly counting them down 2-1-0, she looked at eight year old Katie, nestled in the front seat. The little princess was right on cue.

“Mom … I think I better try and go to the bathroom.”

Jill shook her head and sighed before turning to Jeff.

“You know, if we ever get married some day and we use those vows that say for better or for worse … well, you better watch really close or you’re going to miss all the better parts.”

Jeff laughed, then leaned across the seat and had one of those better parts by kissing the woman he loved.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, especially those road warriors heading to Grandma’s house.

All my love and hugs

Maggiethekitten