Some Enchanted Girlfriend -10- Getting Down

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Some Enchanted Girlfriend

by Donna Lamb

10. Getting Down

The cat landed unhurt and my shriek didn’t appear to have awakened Tim. I rushed to the glass door in the window wall and opened it, taking a look up to see where the cat might have come from. Nothing up there but the bottom of someone else’s balcony, at least twelve feet up. The cat, a little calico kitten, immediately started washing its paws.
I felt the towel around me begin to slip and grabbed at the sort-of-knot I had made under my left arm to save it. The cat paused in its washing to look at me sideways and curled its lip as if disgusted at what it saw.

I started laughing while moving back from the window to retie the towel. I didn’t close the door and the kitten followed me in, looking around with the air of a spoiled child slumming in the home of a less fortunate cousin.

I re-adjusted the towel and sat on Tim’s hassock, leaning down to get a better look at the little cat. “Aren’t you a brave one? How did you even get up there? Did you come from the apartment upstairs?” Okay, I admit this was said in a cooing voice like one would talk to a baby.

The kitten, with one blue eye and one green looked at me and said, “Don’t be an ass.”

I sat up straight on the hassock and stared at the animal. “Pardon?” I squeaked.

“Talking to me like that,” said the cat. “No one else’s around, you don’t have to put on an act.”

It turns out that I am crazy, I thought. I swear, I looked around the room to be sure we were alone like the cat had said. Then I whispered, “You can talk?”

The cat rolled its eyes. Her eyes, I seemed to remember from somewhere that calicos are always female. “Of course I can talk. Hell’s Little Fiery Dumplings, what’s wrong with you?” The voice sounded rather cute but the attitude was like that of a waitress in a New York coffee shop. Gimme your order, awready, I got tables.

“You’ll have to excuse me,” I said to the cat. “I haven’t been myself this morning. I woke up in bed with a strange man, I can’t remember my own name and now a cat is giving me the redass. I feel an attack of the screaming heebie-jeebies coming on.”

“Hell's Pimple Pads,” said the cat, stepping back. “You’re not Catewood!” Or did she say, Kate Wood? The little thing puffed up like a three-toned dandelion and hissed at me.

“Oh, go fizz yourself,” I said. “Either I’m haloonisating again or there really is a talking cat. And if so, said talking cat can explain herself or go fall off another balcony.” I laid back on the hassock and threw a hand over my eyes in my best Scarlett O’Hara parody. “I’m so confused, all I need is another pussy giving me attitude.”

The cat made a dash toward the still open balcony door. I had to raise up and turn sideways a little to see her but she stopped halfway to look back at me. “You don’t know who you are?” she asked, sounding like she didn’t believe me.

I nodded. “Well, I found out about half an hour ago that my name is Constance Catewood and I live in apartment 415 but other than that, I’m completely lost.” The dream didn’t help, too confusing. “And if you’re my cat, how come you’re up here instead of downstairs? Did I smuggle you in last night in the pocket of clothes I wasn’t wearing?”

The kitten washed a paw. “You’re not making any sense at all.” She looked at the paw and gave it another lick. “You look like Kate Wood, but you don’t talk like her and you don’t know who I am, do you?”

I shook my head. “I’ve never met a talking cat before, I’m sure I would remember that.”

“I’m your familiar,” said the cat. “Or, I was Catewood’s familiar. And....” She stretched her neck out and sniffed of me. “And you’re in her body, but you aren’t her!” At that the kitten put back its head and began to wail, a high-pitched yowling of surprising volume coming from the tiny body.

“Sh, sh, sh!” I said, straightening up and reaching for the little animal. “You’ll wake Tim!”

“I don’t care,” said the cat, dodging. “Is he the one that’s been snogging you?”

“Well, yes, I guess you could say that–except you’re a cat and cat’s don’t talk.” I made another grab for the kitten but she forded when I expected her to dodge.

“Clumsy boob,” she said and bounced out of reach.

“Leave my boobs out of it,” I said. All I needed was for me to go one way and them another and I'd fall on my face. I tried to change direction and ended up rolling off the hassock and out of the towel. I lay there on the carpet, naked again and more than a little disconcerted. I realized just how little sense anything that had happened that morning made and wanted to start yowling myself.

The kitten dashed up and whapped me on the cheek with a soft paw. “Hell's Toaster Pastries in Seven Infernally Delicious Flavors,” said the cat. “I can’t hurt you! The bond!”

I scooped up the tiny thing in my hands and brought it close to me. “I’m sorry that I’m not who you think I ought to be, but believe me, it’s just as distressing to me as to you.”

The cat sniffed and struggled but she could no more escape my grasp than I could Tim’s. “Go ahead and kill me, then. Get it over with, that magical backlash last night already cost me two of my lives but I’ve got a spare or three.”

I chuckled. “I’m not going to hurt you, little Muffins.”

“My name is Ogen, not Muffins,” hissed the cat. She tried to bite me but it didn’t hurt at all.

“You’re so cute!” I said, cuddling her against my cheek.

“Oh for pity’s sake! Knock it off!” she complained. She began to purr. “Oh, now look what you’ve gone and done. You got my motor started.”

“Too cute!” I said, partly because it seemed to annoy the little fuzzball and she really was that cute and even cuter when complaining.

I didn’t realize what position I had ended up in, kneeling on the carpet, bent over to hold the kitten to my face with my posterior pointed at the bedroom door. I didn’t realize, that is, until I heard Tim say from behind me, “What am I looking at?”

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Comments

wow

Donna your worst than LOST we think we got a sense of whats going on and poof the matrix has rebooted.You must be having fun slowly torturing us as we work our self into a frenzy trying to figure out what is going on.Its so darn addicting!

>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<

>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<

This was just a left turn

This was just a left turn after yesterday's wheelie. We've still got the roundabouts and the whoop-de-doos ahead of us. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

So, It Looks Like

An unintentional ot forced body swap. Where is Samanth Stevens or Jeannie Nelson when you need them, or the Charmed sisters?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I like that idea

I like that idea, a fanfic in which all the magical characters in television exist in the same universe. Your assignment, Mr. Stan, if you choose to accept it ... of course, the sexretary will disavow any knowledge of your existence. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

crazy

I suspected a magic switcheroo given the circumstances. Now you have the kitten hint at a magical backlash. Well written and a good laugh. What's next?

Hugs,
Trish-Ann

Hugs,
Trish Ann
~There is no reality, only perception~

Next

Next, we duck down an alley with a little roly-poly bat-faced girl.... ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Cats talking!!

Connie or should it be Kate? is either still dreaming... Or Ogen really is a magic cat!(why is it always a cat? why not a magic dog?)

Looks like Tim should get his eyes tested if he could'nt work out what was right in front of his eyes!... Men!!!

Anyway its about time poor Connie/Kate found some clothes. ten chapters in and she's still running around in the buff...Not that i imagine Tim is complaining too much!

Kirri

Cats vs. Dogs

Why cats? It should be obvious! Cats are sinuous, graceful, intelligent, and magical. Dogs are just sniveling sycophants.

Maybe...

But if I were to have a familiar I'd get an animal that at least had the possibility of doing what its told.

JC

The Legendary Lost Ninja

Science vs. Magic

Well, if it were a dog, it would be SF instead of Fantasy. ::grin::

(See the latest Skin Horse comic story line for explanation of that joke.)

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Tim, don't get any ideas

And I really think that she needs clothes. She can always run down to her apartment and find something to wear, or else she might not be able to get off Tim. And she also really need to have a conversation with Ogen, it might help both to know what happened, and I wouldn't mind understanding what's going on!

Eagerly waiting for the next chapter :)

Thanks

Mildred

You think Tim needs an idea?

It may be too late for that. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Thank Heaven (Actually Donna)

Reading this posting didn't make me feel like my head was going to explode like the previous posting did.

It even started to explain some of what is going on (I think).

Careful

Thinking is what causes heads to explode, isn't it? ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Whuuuuuh

OK Hell kittens and witches and probably a jealous Coven member zapping a rival witch into some other body - this is all starting to make a strange sort of sense, so no doubt next episode all this will be turned on it's head again.

The nature of Monkey is - Irrepressible!!!

The nature of Monkey is - Irrepressible!!!

I understand now its all a

I understand now its all a dream by Bob Newhart.

>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<

>>>>>I'm a new soul.I came to this strange world.Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.<<<<<

On its head?

Maybe Connie can learn a new position? ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

I got it! I got it!

Kate wood, the evil witch, seduced Tim so that she could do unspeakable things to his body... I mean she wanted to steal his body. She prepared the spell, but it backlashed horribly -- injuring her evil calico familiar.

Meanwhile, Willard Conway, having been framed by his evil boss and his evil boss's sexratary, was being executed via electric chair.

In a bolt of karmic justice, the switch was pulled just as Kate's ill-fated spell was activated.

Kate's spirit went to wherever the bad witches go, Willard's spirit was transferred to Kate's delicious blond body, and Tim was left mostly clueless.

I'm right, right? Right?

Ray Drouillard

Ray?

"I got it! I got it!"

A round of antibiotics will cure it. ;-)

Damaged people are dangerous
They know they can survive

So close

And yet, so far away. ::grin::

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

Wow

And to think Kate, Connie, Willard and the rest of you are doing all of this without Annette.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Less Be Frank

It's not like this is a Walt-zy tune. ::grin::

But yeah, this is fun, doing it like this. I'm trying to stay three or four chapters ahead but I revise a posting just before I put it up so it has my latest ideas about what I want the reader to know.

I won't be making a posting on Saturday, the Fourth, but there will be one up later today and one tomorrow. And Sunday or perhaps Monday.

Instead of posting a short chapter on Saturday, I'll collect 7-12 and post them to StarDust as "Part 2 - Down?" If things get too busy on Saturday, that might not go up till Sunday and if I don't have a date Friday night, it may go up then. These repostings at SD have been slightly re-edited but nothing major.

-- Donna Lamb, Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through Doppler Press to help support BigCloset. -- Donna

-- Donna Lamb, ex-Flack

Some of my books and stories are sold through DopplerPress to help support BigCloset. -- Donna