The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3234 by Angharad Copyright© 2018 Angharad

I discussed things with Tom when he came back in with the dog. He told me to go to the meeting he’d see the girls to school and not to give the new VC anything to use against me. He said my reputation as someone not to be trifled with was already well known and it would also be well enough known that I’d helped in the mutiny which disposed of a previous VC.

So, taking particular care over my appearance I attended the vice chancellor’s office with five other professors, it was filled with the smell of toast and bacon and eggs as we sat to eat at the mahogany table which Tom had used for meetings only. I shouldn’t grumble, the smell of the food made me feel far hungrier than I should have been and I certainly ate my share, having two rashers of bacon and two eggs, as well as a sausage and some toast. I probably wouldn’t need lunch after all that, and I would certainly need the time it freed up to get my paperwork done.

He started the meeting before we’d finished eating, given that it was a breakfast meeting, I suppose I couldn’t complain. I also became rapidly aware that I was the only woman there, apart from his secretary—no longer Pippa, she left when Tom retired and as far as I know was working as a PA to the mayor of Portsmouth, which probably paid better than the university.

The VC, Colin La Fasse, who I managed to pronounce as laugh-arse to Diane a bit later, upset me by saying that three other women professors had been invited but only I attended. I did point out that they had children or dependent adults and that he shouldn’t read their absence as indifference, rather difficulties at home with short notice meetings.

He gave me a stern look and then said, “Well Professor Watts, you have a large family and still managed to make it on time.”

“My situation is possibly different to the others in that I have a paid helper living on site.”

“Ah yes, the advantages of being in the upper stratas of society.”

“Strata, I believe is a plural word, is it not?” I said correcting him and got a look of pure vitriol in return plus at least one other person taking in a sharp breath. Quite honestly, I didn’t care, as I said before I don’t need the job for the same reasons as the others, in that I don’t need the money. I did a small report for the bank over Easter and it satisfied the board that I was worth the two hundred and fifty thousand a year they placed in my bank account. Altogether I was probably earning as much as Laugh-arse, so he held no fears for me, except possibly that my presence on the university council and senate may help protect those he was trying to get rid of.

“I stand corrected,” he smiled a sickly and obviously false smile, more of a grimace as if he was having a poo at the same time. “The benefits of a private education, no doubt.”

I chose not to challenge this as we’d be fencing all meeting and I’d be no wiser as to what he was wanting to do. His changing the logo at a cost of many thousands went unchallenged by the others, my only comment being I could see nothing wrong with the old one.

“It’s all about rebranding, these days, professor, you have to be prepared to change your image to keep up with the rest, if not lead the pack.” I was tempted to suggest that in wolves very often the pack leader is the alpha female, but that would no doubt have been a trifle too obvious an insult, even for a thick skinned numpty like him.

I’ve seen these people before, all drive and no direction, no back up plans or safety measures because they are convinced in their own infallibility. As far as I know only the pope claims that and I’m not sure if they do it these days. The current one is probably too street wise to do so. He also seems a reasonably nice man, from what I’ve seen, although his last decision was a bit more conservative unless that came from the circle that surrounds him, which is always conservative.

“So, we rebrand the university, offer some new courses which none of the competition are doing and we look to move this place up the league tables.”

“I thought we were doing quite well with student satisfaction surveys and also the gold award we got in the universities survey, Oxford only managed a bronze.”

“There lies complacency, Professor, we need to keep on our toes. The education market is very challenging.”

“I’m sorry Vice Chancellor, but this isn’t the United States. The only market we should be in is one of trying to achieve excellence in research and educating young minds. If we do that, we’ll never be short of students or research sponsorship.”

The way his face went very red and I thought i could see a blood vessel throbbing in his neck possibly meant he didn’t much like my difference of approach.

“Professor Watts, it may be your job to achieve excellence in research and educational standards but it’s mine to sell the university to the outside world, to bring in the income which keeps us all in pocket and enables new facilities, like your new laboratories.”

I wasn’t going to argue that my labs had been funded by sponsorships I’d arranged for the research they were doing in molecular biology and they’d been built before he even thought about coming to us.

“I thought Cathy got that funding herself,” said old Fossdyke, from business and commercial department, not usually one of my supporters probably because we rarely spoke and thus had little in common.

“I was using that purely as an example—now I’m here, I shall expect to take the lead in attracting new funding and facilities.”

“The bank won’t like that,” Fossdyke retorted.

“Bank, what’s it got to do with a bank.”

“Read your notes, Vice Chancellor, much of the research here is sponsored by High Street Bank, thanks to Cathy.”

The red face returned and I think he was going to say something very rude, possibly about old Fossdyke or possibly the bank, then he thought better of it. “Of course, Lady Cameron, in your other, more lucrative role—you must introduce me to your father in law.” He gave me a cheesy smile and I nearly suggested that I would be delighted to, once hell froze over. Instead I avoided eye contact and said nothing.

Mind you, Henry would see straight through a pompous jackanapes like laugh-arse. So perhaps I should introduce them, nah it could reflect on me. Compared to Tom, this man was a self important wind bag, who felt he was worthy of a salary far beyond his value or talent. Life looked as if it was going to remain interesting if not exactly comfortable for the foreseeable future, if this parasite remained in post for any length of time, because that was how I saw him, a giant parasite looking to further his own interests over that of the university and its staff and students.

Given the recent removals of VCs at Bath, Oxford and even the Open University, you’d think he’d have the sense to bide his time, but no, his huge ego is like a giant broom sweeping everything before it. We’ll see.