Shocking Pink

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First posted 2007/08/03.

Shocking Pink

by Erin Halfelven

.

We'd talked our parents into letting us put up a ham radio station. The Parkers had a stand-alone unused garage on the alley behind their house so that became our chosen radio hut and Tommy Parker and I had spent most of the summer working on the installation and earning money for the stuff we needed.

Back before cell phones and personal computers, a ham radio could put two kids in a small desert town in touch with the world like nothing else. We had big ideas and Mr. Mowbray, science teacher at our school, worked with us to help us keep things real.

We climbed up onto the roof for probably the thousandth time and checked all the wiring, the guys and the stays and the little triangular tower that lifted our antenna array thirty feet up above the garage roof. August is hot in the California desert but we didn't really notice since we'd grown up with it. Besides, we were too excited to notice anything as mundane as normal summer weather.

From the roof we could see across most of El Perdido, California, population thirteen thousand. Back in the forties, when my parents moved to California as kids, the town had just been a widespot on Route 66 with a gas station and a post office. By the late seventies, the freeway going in had made it possible for people to live in El Perdido and commute to work in San Bernardino, Riverside, or Ontario, or for the really masochistic, Los Angeles.

The Parkers were that sort of people. Tommy's dad, Nathan Parker, taught biochemistry at UCLA -- not just in Los Angeles but on the Westside. He had a government grant to investigate the effects of disco music on the absorption of pollution byproducts in piebald rats or something like that. Tommy's mom, Cynthia Parker-Valentine, worked as a Peon First Class, aka associate partner, in a big law firm in Pasadena. They were both gone a lot so Crystal Valentine, Tommy's aunt, lived with them and ran the household. Crystal was in her twenties and a bit of a flake, sort of a suburban hippie, but she was okay.

My folks seemed a lot more ordinary to me but some people might disagree. My dad, Lawrence Presley, had worked as a cowboy and even rode bulls in the rodeo for awhile but after serving in the Army as an M.P. he came back home and became a deputy sheriff. Later, he'd transfered to the Perdido Police Department and had just been promoted to captain, but effectively Chief since the real chief had taken disability and retired. The City Council had to meet and decide to make it official or hire someone to be Dad's boss.

My mom, Kate Sweet Presley, worked part-time as a librarian for the county but had once been a Country-Western singer. She sometimes joked about having married the wrong Presley. And yes, we're distantly related to Elvis so it's not just a coincidence that my first name, Aaron, is the same as Elvis's middle name. My middle name is the same as Mom's, which was her maiden name and the one she used onstage with her sister, Aunt Becky. Yes, my aunt is Rebecca Sweet, who sings all those corny ballads about drinking husbands who drive thirty-ton trucks into mountainsides. And my granddad is "Reverend" Eli Sweet, the hillbilly comedian who ran for president on the Moonshine Party Ticket in 1976. The funniest thing is, Granddad was born in Columbus, Ohio; the hillbilly accent is an act.

I used to get a lot of kidding about my name and my relatives but ignoring the stupider comments usually worked.

Tommy Parker and I had been friends since he and his folks had moved to El Perdido six years ago when we were in the third grade. We sat next to each other in class because of the alphabet, and one of our teachers had called us "two Ps in a pod." Tommy had all kinds of smart and I did okay in school so teachers tended to like us. We both played in the school band, saxaphone for me and trumpet for Tommy and we both sang in church choir. We were always doing something together.

So when we got the ham radio bug it turned into a big joint project. We put together a couple of Heath kits and when we tuned in Singapore, we were hooked. Our folks decided this was safer than motorcycles or girls at our age and helped us out a lot with gifts and advances on our allowances. We'd put a lot of work into our little radio hut.

The day had finally come to test everything. Our folks had bought the tower, Mr. Mowbray had contributed a lot of wire and solder and loaned us tools but the key piece of our installation was the big multi-band transceiver we'd put together. It looked enormous sitting on the work bench, chrome and black glass with dials all over it and wires sticking out of the back. We had two sets of headphones and one nice microphone and we couldn't wait to chat with our new friends in Sydney and Berlin.

But nothing worked.

"Hum, mmm," said Tommy. "That's all I get." I could hear him through the open side door of the converted garage.

I'd made another trip to the roof to check things out but all the connections seemed solid. "You ought to get something," I said, loud enough for him to hear.

"Yeah, but I don't."

"Try the CB channel or plain old AM?"

"I did, nothing but a hum," he said.

"Well, you've got power or you wouldn't have a hum and the antenna is connected." I tugged on the little tower and tested the main connections one more time. "Has the ground come loose?" Meaning the grounding wire supposedly connected to the plumbing in the garage.

"Oh," said Tommy.

I remember it distinctly. I had one hand on the frame of the antenna and the other on the wires coming up from the transceiver. I had unwrapped the insulation to check them and they were partially bare. This kind of radio doesn't normally have much current but you can get a shock from anything electrical.

Just as the music of a powerful Mexican AM station blared out, a jolt went through me. I'm sure my hair stood on end and my right arm went stiff and rigid, straight-arming me away from the tower and right off the roof. I fell onto some cardboard boxes and lumber we had made a pile of to be thrown away. Tommy heard me fall and rushed outside.

It knocked the wind out of me, I thought. I couldn't breathe. Tommy asked me if I were okay and I think I shook my head before I passed out.

* * *

When I came to, I thought Tommy was kissing me but he was doing CPR, breathing for me. My eyes got wide and when he pulled away to breathe in himself, I said, "Gosh, I didn't know you cared." Then I coughed right in his face.

He put his head down on my chest, I guess to listen for my heart. I took a couple of deep breaths and wondered if I'd been badly hurt. I ached all over, especially my head and my left hand felt burned.

Tommy straightened up and help up his hand, "How many fingers?"

"Three," I said, tempted to say something silly like, "Fingers?" Besides hurting, I just felt very strange.

Tommy sat back, then leaned forward to listen to my chest again.

"I'm okay," I said. I sounded weak though, or like I'd just been brought back from the edge of death or something.

"You scared the shit out of me," Tommy said, sitting back again. "You weren't breathing and I couldn't hear your heart." He looked scared, his face pale, his eyes wide and his hands trembled a bit.

"How long was I out?" I coughed again.

"Not even a minute; I'd just started breathing for you." He wiped his face; he'd been crying. I felt an amazing love for him in that moment. "I yelled at Cryssie to call 911. Can you...can you move your hands and feet?"

I tried and felt very relieved that I could. "Those boxes broke my fall; I didn't hit that hard. I think I'm just bruised."

"What the heck happened?"

"I don't know but it felt like 110 volt AC, straight house current. Have we got a short?"

"I'll look later," he said. "With rubber gloves on. Let me turn off power to the hut." He stood and went to the outside power box on the building.

Cryssie, Tommy's aunt who was only ten years older than us came out the back door of the house. "Were you guys yelling about something?" she asked.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, Ronnie got shocked and fell off the roof." My name is Aaron but mostly I'm called Ronnie by friends and family.

Cryssie stared at me then looked up at the roof -- of the house -- then back at Tommy and me beside the radio hut fifty feet away. "How'd he get all the way over there?" she asked.

* * *

I got myself up and Cryssie drove us to the emergency room after a call to my mom who met us in the hospital driveway. After lots of fussing over me by Mom, and an examination by the emergency room doctor, they sent me home to rest. I didn't need to rest; I felt pretty good other than a nice set of bruises and the burn on my hand but it was easier to go along. After lying quietly in my room for a few minutes, I dropped right off to sleep.

I had a very weird dream. In the dream, Tommy kissed me again, but this time it was a real kiss. But that was okay because in the dream, I was a girl and I loved Tommy very much. This didn't seem at all strange but perfectly natural.

We were both older in the dream, old enough that Tommy had his driver's license. He came to my house and picked me up for a date. He looked so handsome. We went to the movies and saw a new Harrison Ford film about Nazis and hidden treasures. I had long hair to my shoulders and I wore a lavender dress and he kissed me at the door of my house when he brought me home.

When I woke up, I felt very confused. I knew I had been dreaming about having a date with Tommy but that didn't seem half so strange as the boy's room I woke up in with sports trophies on the shelves and pictures of jet planes on the walls and a model of the Millenium Falcon hanging from the ceiling.

I lay on the bed trying to think my way through it; had I dreamed I was a boy dreaming I was a girl? Nothing made sense.

I looked at the clock; I'd been asleep less than half an hour, it still was just past four in the afternoon. I lay there a while longer. When I finally felt awake enough to maybe get out of bed, I realized that I was a boy and had been one all my life. And that just felt so wrong that I started crying. I tried to be quiet about it but it hurt worse than the bruises or the burns. Tommy hadn't really kissed me and he never would.

After a bit I had to get up to find some tissue to dry my eyes and blow my nose. I went down the hall to the bathroom I shared with my brothers, washed my face and just stared at myself in the mirror.

Dave and Josh had summer jobs so they weren't home yet which was just as well since I shared a room with Josh and he would have been insufferable if he had seen me crying. Not that he wasn't insufferable in the ordinary course of things. Dave was 19 and in the fall, he'd be going away to college and I would be moving into his room. I looked forward to that now even more than I had in the past; sharing a room with my brother just seemed wrong.

I looked at my face in the mirror and thought about how I would look if I were a girl like I had dreamed of being. At only fourteen, I hadn't really hit puberty yet so I had no facial hair, and my voice hadn't changed. If I had longer hair with some styling, I thought I would make a cute girl. And that made me cry again because I realized that in maybe as little as a few months I might start changing, turning into a man.

How in the world would I be able to live with that?

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Comments

It is not a pretty picture.

This surprised me Erin,
I did see the little puns, but with you who knows. :) I meant "who knows" in the best possible way. Evidently, there are a lot of males "living with that"?

Gwen Lavyril

Gwen Lavyril

I wrote this about a year ago

erin's picture

It's been sitting on my hard drive, waiting for me to decide if ther were any more to it. I still don't know.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Well I like it, Erin

And would like to read more of the boys change into a girl. So yes please, carry on with this tale.

Shocking Pink encore...

...Ditto
Jessie C

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

Get your kicks near Route 66

I have nothing too intelligent to say about it besides that it is really a very nice short with ineffable qualities that are very affecting. This might not be intelligent to say, but at least it is good use of vocabulary. Your story is perfect the way it is, and it seems like you were right to publish it without adding more.

In other words, I like it very much! :-)

Annie
"When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities." - Matt Groening

Well I Liked it!!!!

But I'm still waiting for the rest of 30 Million Reasons, and Privet Mountain. also excellent stories.

Huggels ChrisW

OMG," its full of Stars

Open the pod doors Hal.

Konichiwa

Thanks, Chris

erin's picture

There's still hope for 30 Million Reasons. I'm not so sure about Private Mountain.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Say it ain't so !

Private Mountain may be on death row?

Horrors!

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

Hi Gwen,

Jezzi Stewart's picture

I'm really glad to see your name come up after all this time. I still read and enjoy all your stories that I managed to download. I hope you're doing well. Drop me a message.
Jezzi

BE a lady!

Short and bittersweet

Breanna Ramsey's picture

This was very poignant Erin. I think of all the stories I have read here and at other sites, this is one I can really identify with. Thanks so much for sharing it with us.

Scott
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of--but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Lazarus Long - Robert A. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love'

Bree

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy

http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph

You're welcome

erin's picture

This didn't go where I thought it would and I never managed to continue it. I'm not sure a continuation would have quite as much impact.

Thanks for the comment.

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

You had me going, Erin

For a bit this reminded my of my Conversions Tables entry to an earlier BC contest this winter.

You know, malfuntioning radio tunes into the wrong signal -- vauge hints it's an alien signal -- and our hero is transformed into a heroine. Lots of possiblities there, so little risk of stepping on another writers toes. You started out folksy and funny, your ending floored me.

I would have commented earlier but this was so sad at the end. It seemed like an alegory, that a great *shock* in life -- pun intended here -- can cause one to re-evaluates their exisistance, in the boys's case much to his/her lament.

You are a master, no, mistress of these short, intense pieces, Erin.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

I remember that

erin's picture

This one had already been done when you wrote Conversion Tables, but Zapped and Julie O's lightning-based Jirra stories already existed before I wrote this one. :) Like you say, lots of room to explore on that theme or plot device.

Sometimes a story catches me by surprise, I actually had a much longer and more frivolous tale in mind when I started writing. When this turned blue and serious, I discovered I had written an end. Odd experience.

Thanks for the comment. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

It comes like a bolt from the blue but it works

I thought the original intent was a humorous story, a coming of age thing or maybe a funny sci-fi/magic transformation.

I envisioned the boy slowy beoming a pink haired cutie/hotie girl, like out of some Japanese animae -- still can't spell that one -- and the two friends becoming boy and girlfriend. The story ended up going the real life route and the poor child learning perhaps sooner than otherwise that life is cruel sometimes.

Nice stuff.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

I want more .... :-P

No, on the serious side. You could leave it as it is, then end says it all to most of us.

But it could also be an opener to one of those great serial stories you normally write. Though the continuation of 30 Million Reasons would please me even more

bad habit

kristina l s's picture

hmmpphhh...yep, you have a way of doing this. A beautifully crafted little piece that leaves so many possible avenues open...and you leave it there. And yep I have a bad habit of wanting more. Been on the other end of it so I should be more sanguine about it, but....argh. Lovely... and sad. Oh, I think your right though.... that's an end point.
Kristina

Where will it end?

Sometimes, it can be difficult to find the end of a story, even when you start out with an ending in mind. While it does feel like more could be added to Shocking Pink, the ending you have now works too. Sometimes it's best to leave stories be rather than trying to force a continuation you're not ready for.

I've had some ideas for continuing a number of my stories, but the only one I've recently fleshed out was Brianna's Big Brother, which I'm tying into the larger story arc of Bobby's Rainy Day Adventure. I'll probably let the other stories simmer on the back burner a bit longer before I try doing anything with them.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Heather Rose Brown
Author of Bobby's Rainy Day Adventure

Maybe

erin's picture

Maybe I'll continue it someday in another story. :)

- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

It Felt Like a Chapter

A very good chapter, in that it has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

As all coming-of-age atories do, it asks the story question, "What will I be"?

The answer is clear. The next chapter could ask the question, "Can I actually be who I want to be"? It could be a stand alone story as well.

If the answer to that question is yes, the next logical question would be, "To be, or not to be"?

The final question, therefore, would come straight from Sinatra, "Do be, do be, do"?

The overall question of the novel would be "When I finally realize who I really, really want to be, how will I become that person, and will I be happy"? That question wasn't asked in your story, and therefore it stands complete as is. If you want to continue, you need to go back and edit the original chapter to ask the overall story question.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

You're right

erin's picture

That's where I thought I was going with Aaron thinking but he stopped at an earlier, more urgent, for him, question.

Maybe the idea of another stand alone story would be the way to go.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Wonderful Vignette

When I was young, I imagined myself to be Bell from Beauty and the Beast. It took almost all my life to address that.

Nice story.

Gwenellen

Another view point

This was good and I can well understand why it might be hard to continue. Heather has a good idea about continuing Ronnie's story maybe from another view point or even part of another story rather like 'Pulp Fiction' told its story though many different shorter tales. I'm as bad as John and want a Disney happy ending for Ronnie.
hugs!
grover

RF burns...

can be very serious, so Ronnie was lucky to only have an RF burn on his hand and a few bruises. I have an extra class US amateur radio license, and when you are messing with the antenna, or any of the guy wires, make sure the radio is off and unplugged. And make sure it is definitely grounded too. This is a cute story, and very different from the ordinary stories. Thank you for sharing Erin.

With super love & big as the sky hugs
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

Back in high school

erin's picture

I hung around with the nerds in Radio Club. Since I was founder and secretary of Chess Club and they were all members, it seemed harmless. :) I remember sitting around watching them put together radios, I even helped a little now and then. I also checked some of the details and plausibility of the story with Bob Arnold. :)

Thanks for the comment. :)

Hugs,
- Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Miss Erin, you know

you have a ton of great stories, with good characters. But so many of them just... stop. Maybe it is a site admin thing since C. Sprite's ICGHLT did the same thing. I don't care what you choose,but I would love to see one of your older tales continued or completed.

Melanie E.

Tardy tuppence worth

I'm very glad the story stopped when it did. And I liked it very much.
Half the folks here seem to want things to go on and on, but it's a really major part of a story that it should be able to end and know how to end.
I think it's much more important that a story is self-consistent and feels real on its own terms. Which this tale did with aplomb.
XX
AD

I'm surprised no one else

I'm surprised no one else noticed Tommy Parker as Elvis's agent....
Col Tom Parker.... good ole boy.

We've got 240v here in Oz and it's fun too if you grab hold of the wire.

I once snatched a live fender stratocaster from someone who was lying on the deck at a gig - I got a good belt - but he was vibrating like a tuning fork. Everyone thought he was doing something funky - I suppose he was - . Lucky I noticed I suppose

I want to shout!!!

Andrea Lena's picture

...Rod Serling is standing off to the right, asking me if I'd consider this for my approval. My answer? Fuck NO! Aaron...don't live with it...Do something now while you have a chance! What a great story! Thank you!



Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Random Solo Goodness

terrynaut's picture

This story showed up as a recent random solo so I checked it out. I love the title, and I really like the story.

This is an interesting twist. It appears that the boy's gender identity was changed by the shock. Very nice.

I think the ending works very well. There are already zillions of stories that move on from an ending like yours. Sometimes it's nice to just see how a character gets to that point.

Thanks!

- Terry

A nice little story of two friends growing up together.

It is too bad that Aaron wasn't genderless after his (her?) accident. The story was heartwarming and very touching. Thank you for sharing.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

Interesting premise on this

Interesting premise on this story. Will Ronnie start slowly changing and eventually be Ronni/Erin? Shall be interesting to see as each chapter comes to us.
The two friends being Ham Radio operators is also very interesting. That was the BIG thing until more modern technology arrived on the scene, such as what we see today. These is still a segment of the world population that uses the Ham Radio system, but nothing like from the 40s-50s-60s.

Wonderful story

gillian1968's picture

Thanks for sharing this.

Even though there is so much more you could, tell (and I hope you do). It manages to evoke an emotional response and make me care about the characters.

BTW, I have a couple Heathkit receivers I built in the 70's that I will get around to fixing one of these days.

Gillian Cairns

Divided response

It seems about half the commentators are happy with the story as is and half think it should be chapter 1 of a longer story. I fall into the latter category, but I can see how it can stand alone too. Many of us have felt the way Ronnie felt at the end. Being an incurable romantic I always want a happy ending, even though I've just been reading 'Moby Dick'!
Bronwen

You've given me an idea....

.... lovely shortie, Erin. Thank you for that - I too was looking for a pink little cutie.... but it comes out well.....

How's about a gender swap (in the psyche) of a one-time dude who has the need for a defibrillator - many of us have had such a shock.... how wonderful to wake with a gender-switched brain?! I'd volunteer for a clinical trial if that were possible! l
ove, Ginger x

Erin or Aron

Where do you stand on Aaron versus Aron?

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Aron Jones

erin's picture

Aron is the horn player in Donna Lamb's Blue Moon, you mean? To me that's pronounced Ay-ron.

LOL.

Yeah, I know that Elvis's birth certificate spells it Aron. :)

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Lovely,Erin,

So many of us with those thoughts ,but still a shock to the system :)!

ALISON

A sweet tale

Angharad's picture

which does all it needs to. It's all very well talking of transition, but if I read it correctly, this story is based in the 1950s when such things would have been ten times more difficult.

I also used an electric shock via a lightning bolt in 'Would you Adam and Eve it?' to do strange things to the victim.

Angharad

Good repost

I know that I had read this before but as it had Erin's name on it I read it again. No disappointments, equally good even after multiple readings. Memorable.

Enjoyed the joke better this time as Chryssie looks at the house roof and asks how he got all the way over here. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

>>> Kay

Some people should never be

within a million miles of electricity. I'm talking about those with low resistance when measured hand to hand. Like being colourblind, that should stop you from ever even thinking about messing with leccy.
Like Aaron, I saw someone literally hurled across a room after touching one phase of a 440v 3ph supply. They were lucky in that they got away with burns but... they left the job soon after that because not only had they lied about being colourblind but their internal resistance was very, very low.

A very poignant story Erin. sigh... how many here would love to have been able to change after a shock like that? Lots and lots.
Thanks for dragging this up out of the library.
Samantha

Might a chapter or two be coming...

...Since this is a repost; does it possibly mean more chapters are coming? It was such a nice story, begging Aaron's future. I enjoyed rediscovering this story and only hope it doesn't stop here. Erin should have a future.

Hugs, Jessie C

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

I love what you are doing here.

crash's picture

I love what you are doing here and I'll be sad if this is where it ends. Thanks for all you do for this site including this posting.

Your friend
Crash

I have to admit. I'm in the

Rose's picture

I have to admit. I'm in the camp who would like to see this as only chapter 1 of a longer story, but it is certainly one to ponder as it sits.

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Hugs!
Rosemary