Hi! My name is Jerry.

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 ­  Hi! My name is Jerry

By Rachel Anne Keller

 

          You know like short for Jerome but not?

          My parents and I moved here to Hillcrest just before school started this year, from San Fernando, CA. It was a major change in scenery let me tell you. Illinois is nothing like Cali at all. The weather is different, the landscape is different, and oh boy are the people ever different. I started ninth grade this year and slowly started to make a few friends. Strangely almost all my new friends are girls, not that I am complaining mind you.         

          I do not mean to say that I have never had girl friends or girlfriends for that matter. I have always gotten along with the fair sex rather well. I guess that is really why all my problems started. Not that I am blaming anyone it is just that well a lot of my female friends in Cali were real Valley Girls. Both my girl friends and my girlfriends if you get my drift. So I basically talk like a Valley Girl most of the time.

          You see, I do not take gym class (I hate it.) and it is not required at my school, and I really love to cook (I hope to become a chef some day and own my own restaurant.) so I took home economics instead. It was a month into the school year before I realized that there was something odd.

          Well one day after school Amy (A really well put together girl and a red head to boot. Yummy.) and I were talking after school waiting for our rides when Josh Rider walked up to us and actually asked me for a date. Now I have nothing against gays, I mean some of my best friends in Cali are gay.

          So I just smiled and said, “Sorry Josh I don’t swing that way.” As politely as I could, I really did not want to hurt his feelings.

          Well when he was out of ear shot Amy looked at me with a shocked expression and exclaimed, “Oh My God Jerri, you’re a lesbian?”

          I just looked at Amy with confusion written all over my face and said, “Well Amy, like if I was a girl, I guess like I would be, but since I’m a boy I am definitely hetro.”

          Well Amy just stood there with her mouth hanging open until I politely placed my hand under it and pushed it closed. “Don’t want to be catching any flies girlfriend, that would be like so totally gross.”

          At this point Amy’s dad pulled up to the curb and she just stuck her head in and told him that something had come up and she needed to go to my house for a bit. All her dad said was that she would have to get her own ride home as he had no intention of going out later. Amy told him it was fine, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and told him she would see him later. I waved and told Mr. Watkins good bye.

          I started asking Amy what was going on but she just shushed me and said we really needed to talk in private. Well mom finally pulled up and I opened the door and slid in giving mom a hug and kiss on the cheek. Then I asked if Amy could come over for a bit as we needed to talk. Mom looked at me a bit quizzically but just said sure and told Amy to hop in. We headed to the house with mom asking me all about how my day went. Well I told her the usual then I told her about Josh asking me out. Mom being mom just asked if I had accepted.

          I giggled and said, “Like no way, I just told him politely that I don’t swing that way Mom.”

          Mom just laughed and commented that she did not think that Josh did either. Then shrugged and said, “Well you never know do you?”

          Amy from the back seat picked that moment to say, “He’s not gay Jerri. Josh is totally hetro.”

          I turned in my seat and looked at her, “Then why would he ask a boy out on a date?”

          Amy once again just said, “That’s what we need to talk about Jerri.”

          Mom looked at me, I looked at her, and we both just shrugged. Let me tell you I was totally baffled.Well, we finally pulled into our palatial dwelling place. Which should read: 2 bed 1  ½ bath ranch style home. A little small true but every man’s home is his castle.

          Well I told Amy to take a seat in the living room and I went and grabbed us each a diet Pepsi before sitting down on the couch with her. Since she is just a friend and nowhere near a girlfriend yet I left plenty of space between us so she did not feel uncomfortable.

          “Well Amy like here we are and like you wanted to talk in private so what’s wrong?”

          “Jerri I don’t know what to say or where to start really. I mean are you sure you are really a boy?”

          I giggled again, “Yes Amy, I am like so totally sure. I’d prove it to you but I like you way too much to like totally gross you out that way. Besides if I did my mother would like so kill me.” I giggled again.

          Amy just sat there shaking her head. “Jerri, I really don’t know how to tell you this except for straight out. Ummm, everyone and I mean everyone thinks you are a girl. We think you are a bit of a tomboy but definitely a girl. I mean I would have asked you why you never wore skirts or dresses but none of the girls wear them much anymore.”

          “Wow, Amy that is just like so totally bizarre. I mean I don’t act, dress, or talk like a girl. Let alone look like one.”

          Amy’s eyes bulged out and she shook her head, “Girl you don’t look in the mirror much do you?”

          “Amy come on, like you are really freaking me out girl. If you like can’t wrap your sweet little head around the fact that I’m like really and truly a boy would you at least have the decency to like just call me Jerry?”

          “Sorry Jerri but I’ve like known you as a girl for over a month now.”

          MOM! Please come here.”

          Mom came rushing into the living room and asked, “What’s wrong Jerry?”

          “Amy please tell my mother what you were telling me.”

          “Well Mrs. Miller I’ve been explaining to Jerri that, well that we all thought she was a girl. I mean she does dress a bit tomboyish but there are other girls in our school that dress a lot more butch than she does. All the girls feel like she is just the nicest one of us and she really is a great cook. You should see her in Home Economics, I swear Ms. Smith is learning more from her than Jerri is learning from Ms. Smith.”

          My mom just sat there looking at Amy for a while then at me and finally she turned back to Amy and said, “Amy do you realize that the entire time you’ve been talking about Jerry that you have been referring to him as a girl?”

          “Oh My God, I am so sorry Jerri it’s just that, well you are a girl to me.”

          Mom turned back to me and said, “Well dear it seems that we do have a bit of a problem.” Laughing mom then had the nerve to ask if I wanted her to buy me some dresses.

          “MOM! That is so totally not funny. Like I just try to be nice and treat people decently and all the sudden I change sexes? Come on, like there are nice guys out there, you know?”

          “Yes Jerry, I do know that and I never realized until Amy told us this that people think you are a girl. I have never thought of you as anything but my son.” Although I would not mind having a daughter, my mother thought privately.

          “No one has ever taken me for a girl before I mean I had like three girlfriends this year alone and Kairen and I were actually dating regularly before Dad’s company transferred him here. Here I’ll prove to you that people don’t all think I am a girl.” I jumped up and grabbed the phone, and dialed Kairen’s number. When the phone was answered it was Kairen, god I miss her. “Kairen, damn girl I miss you.” I put the phone on intercom.

          “Jerri? Oh My God, I miss you too sweetie. So like what’s up? I thought you weren’t calling until next weekend?”

          “Kairen, I really need to talk to you. I’m really freaked out. A friend here just told me that well like everyone here like thinks I’m well like a girl!”

          Total silence from the other end of the line. Not the laughter I expected or anything. “Kairen, are you like still there?”

          “Ya Jerri I’m here, I was just like trying to well you know figure out what to say.”

          “Well don’t like you think that is like totally bizarre?”

          “Ummm Jerri dear I really don’t know how to like tell you this.”

          “Tell me what Kairen?”

          “Well like you know the two girls you dated before we started like seeing each other?”

          “You mean Sharon and Kate right?”

          “Right, like Sharon is a lesbian and Kate is bisexual Jerri.”

          “Huh? That like makes totally no sense at all! Why would a lesbian want to like date me?”

          “Jerri honey, like we all considered you more of a girl than a boy.”

          Well at that point Amy just started giggling and mom sat there with this smirk on her face. Me, well I started crying. “If you considered me a girl then why did you go out with me Kairen?”

          “Jerri, don’t cry honey, I love you. It’s just that well I like girls more than I like boys too. I guess I’m like bisexual too, because I don’t mind what you have between your legs I love you for who you are.”

          “Oh My God," I cried, “I am so going to die. I mean when everyone finds out I am really like a boy I am going to be so like murdered! Everyone is going to think I am some type of sissy freak! Oh God, Oh God, Oh God”, I started banging my head on the coffee table in time with my words, sobbing and clutching my chest.

          Amy grabbed me and pulled me into an embrace and would not let me go. We were both crying on each other’s shoulders. “Oh Jerri I am so sorry I never meant to hurt you. I just knew I needed to tell you what we all thought. You know this isn’t all bad.” She giggled, “Now that you’ve outed yourself as a lesbian I know of a bunch of girls that are going to consider you date-able.” She then quietly mumbled, “Me included.”

          I pulled back from her embrace, “Huh? What do you mean by that Amy?”

          “Well Jerri my dear if you wore a dress and had a little more up top.” She held her hands near her ample breasts, “I personally wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off of you, not to mention several of the other girls at school who I now intend to inform that you are taken by me.”

          “Whoa, don’t I like get any say in this?”

          Amy then proceeded to curl my toes with what had to be the most sensual kiss I had ever received. Not to mention the fact that she was stealthfully caressing my ?breast?

          “We need to get you some help up top till you start to blossom my love.” Amy giggled.

The End?

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Comments

Not sure how to take this.

If I look at this as a comedy it is really funny. A kind of fish out of water being mistaken for someone else. Sort has that Doc Hollywood vibe going with a more cultural blended kid stuck out in the boonies with the more traditional straight laced crowd. I'm not sure of the correct term but it does seems pausable. Not sure about Amy and his Mom who seems to have the idea of pushing him into places perhaps Jerry doesn't want to go.

Hugs!

Grover

Okay, tha't funny!

Really, this is a funny story. I'm left wanting more...

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

What a horrible, horrible fate...

Andrea Lena's picture

....adored by a whole bunch of attractive girls, and all he needs to do is cooperate...life sure is tough!
She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Great Start

Yes, too many good places to go with this. Please continue

Keep going but don't skim trhough too fast.

Very good start, keep going. My suggestion is that you don't rush the situation. The hilarious state of affairs here is that Jerry's clueless as to how he is perceived. If you progress the situation too fast the nature of the story will change ad with that you might lose the relative originality that you have here. But as always it is your story and you are in charge of it.

Delightful!

I hope you had at least half as much fun writing this as I did reading it!

"Boy's Own Adventure"

ALISON
'comics used to do this sort of story 60 or 70 years ago,
with the boy always getting into all sorts of strife for
his androgenous looks and sometimes being crossdressed
by sisters or girlfriends.I just loved the story and hope you continue on with it---it has all sorts of possibilities.
Please,don't stop now !Love and best wishes,Alison Mary

ALISON

Good potential on this, Rachell

I assume this is a romantic comedy/coming of age tale. Quiet entertaining by the way.

If so the following questions come to mind that you may already have answers for in the works or may have a lot of fun answering if you have not.

The biggest question is WHY? Why does everyone in Illinois and many of his closest friends back in California thing Jerry is Jerri, a tomboyish but sweet girl, and apparently a desirable girl. Slow to enter puberty, small for his age, goofy genetics, a magic curse, intersexed, maybe even a genetic girl who looks outwardly a boy? Lots of possibilities.

Q number two: why didn't anyone ever tell him this, that he looks/is female? Mom seems underwhelmed big-time by the news, almost like she expected it.

Q number three: How does Amy intend to get him *boobs*? A stuffed bra, prosthetics, hormones????
And how girly does she want him/her to become? Will the *helpful* friends slip *her* hormone pills to help her boyish figure, in a energy drink, as vitamins, etc. IE are we heading into deliberate, accidental, part-time or permanent feminization?

And the last big question I can think of for now: Why, though he doesn't cross dress and is strongly attracted to girls, why the decidedly feminine leaning school curriculum? Why does he hate sports? Why the love of more feminine pursuits? There are lots of manly men who hate sports and like to cook but added with his apparently very female appearance they could be signs of something else.

Mind you we have been told here many times at BC that sexual preference and gender are separate and thee is a wide continum of where people fall in each but our Jerry/Jerri sure is giving off female *vibes* .

And like, the val speak is, well , yah know, a bit much at times. Fur sure.

-- snicker --

This coming from a Val speak affficinado. A nifty trick would be to slowly ease up on it as Jerry'Jerri picks up an Illinois accent. Southern IL is very Southern whereas northern IL is like Iowa, Wisconsin, maybe even a touch of Upper in it. Uff-da!

You've set the stage, go have fun.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

I would hazard a big guess

I would hazard a big guess that Jerry/Jerri does not get any say in this, because Amy and his/her mother are going to "gang up" on him and help bring out his true feminine self. Good bye Son, hello Daughter, tho I do hope it is a slow comedic process for Jerry/Jerri. Jan

Comedy to horror?

Jezzi Stewart's picture

If Jerry is femmeganged up on by Mom, for his own good, of course, and Amy, for her sexual desires - and there was some foreshadowing: "I have never thought of you as anything but my son.” Although I would not mind having a daughter, my mother thought privately." and the fact that Amy doesn't answer him when he says doesn't he have any say in this, but just continues with her feminizing plans -and if Jerry really does totally consider himself a boy and is horrified to be perceived as a girl, then this could easily turn from a comedy into a horror story.

I would certainly like to see this continued. I would like to see him try to masculinize himself, failing, of course; could be a lot of comedy in that.

"All the world really is a stage, darlings, so strut your stuff, have fun, and give the public a good show!" Miss Jezzi Belle at the end of each show

BE a lady!

I (Mostly) Agree...

...with Jezzi: this chapter was a lot of fun, but the apparent clues that forced femme is in the offing if this story continues would most likely take the fun out of it for me.

Eric

Oh ... My ... Gawd!

terrynaut's picture

Like, that was so funny! And kewt! I loved it.

Thanks. It's nice to see you writing. :)

Hug

- Terry

I like just loved it! Maybe

I like just loved it!

Maybe time for a few more parts to Jerry/Jerri's story?

I really like love this story.

And you know like this just can't be like the end. There has to be like a lot more because like we need to see how Jerri fairs like at school and like with the other kids. I mean like this is just soooooo cool that everyone thinks Jerri is like a real girl. And like with Amy thinking she should like help Jerri get a little more top heavy is like way out there. In fact it is like so way out there that grover and brute didn't like get it. But what do they like know anyway, they're like guys. (Giggles). Could you like please like continue the story. I would like really like to know how all of this turns like out, and could you make the next chapter like maybe slightly longer? Thanks girlfriend for like sharing this beauitful cute story.

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."

Love & hugs,
Barbara

"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."

Only two words to say

Great little story! (Oops! Sorry that was three was'nt it...Never could count!).

Kirri

Lots and lots of ...

...advice here. And all of it good in one way or another. We all want you to continue (and take your time!).

Rilly gnarly

laika's picture

This one I read because of all the comments, and I'm so glad I did. That's some funny f*ckin' sh*t! The nightmare absurdity of Jerry's finding out after so long that even his old friends back in LA thought of him as a girl. Something inherently girlish about valspeak spoken in a high piping voice; seems like guys who use this lingo tend to deliberately lower their voice---"Whoah, Dude!"---as in The Simpson's Otto The Bus Driver and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, or at least that's the media caricature. What might be funny, it's done a lot in real life but not so often in stories like this, would be if Jerry rebelled against everyone's impressions & expectations and strove to correct the situation by engaging in hypermasculine behavior and group activities, and of course failing miserably & eventually realizing it's an unfulfilling sham. It's the awkwardness of his predicament that makes this beginning so funny, and that could be like waaaaaay awkward...
~~~hugs, Laika

Different Dialects

Valley Girl and Surfer Dude are two distinct dialects of English. They have separate idioms, different grammar, vocabulary, accents and cadence. That boys and girls in the exact same population hew to these two separate language subgroups is a testament to peer pressure. Or something.

I saw an article a few years back after what looked like a dry, deadly serious study by a couple of linguistic experts. They made a pretty convincing case of this.

Sooooo... by extension, absent strong evidence otherwise, someone in that peer group speaking Surfer Dude is going to be taken for a guy, and someone speaking Valley Girl is going to be taken for a girl.

Like,

the girls in the school where I teach use "like" all the time! Drives me NUTS! Thankfully, the boys rarely use the term. So, the premise of this story works true to form. Plus, I like the story and hope it continues. Please don't rush to a conclusion... take your time getting Jeri into dresses!

Diane

This one has potential!

Funny - Yes!

Boy to Girl potential - yes! (not forced)

Happy Mum - Yes

Lots of girlfriends - yes!

LoG - OOps LoL
Rita

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

Girl, you like so need to

Girl, you like so need to continue on the story!! I love it. It is funny, and Jerry is a hilarious character. I love the fact that you don't start out with his gender, but you just have hum talking. I love it. I love it. I love it. Write more.

coming to realization

Neat story, but think it should go on. Amy and others like and are attracted to Jerri; what if he could like others as they are. He has been doing that, but with a different understanding

Jessie C

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors