Once the Hero

Comments

Awesome story, slow beginning

I guess I write this to give potential readers an idea what this story is about. Well, to begin with this is a superhero story with a rather darkish backround universe. The latter is both strenghs and weakness of the story. Strenghs because one can't deny the possible realism of the events. It's a weakness because it's sometimes rather depressing to see how low the world values the lives of people and human rights. If you ever thought the MCO was bad, Ultimate is even worse.
Sadly the first chapter is mostly exposition and introduces the reader into the universe and explains the backround of the protagonist. It's a bit boring, but I can promise you once the first chapter is finished the story won't let you stop until you've finished it. I think I had a tab open with the first chapter for half a year or so, but once I finished it the rest of the story was read within a day.

With each chapter the suspense will grow, until you'll hop out of your chair in excitement. (Well it was that way for me) The conspiracies will grow and grow. The evil will assemble and battle good. I don't want to reveille the end, but I can promise it won't be too depressing ]:->

I can only reccomend this story to everyone who has some time. It's a truly epic superhero story.

Thanks to Grover for writing this awesome work,
Beyogi

Awesome, really?

Hey Beyogi! Thanks for the err, wonderful, comment! As for that slow beginning I am planning on cleaning this up for perhaps a move to Kindle or Lulu.

I can't say exactly where ULTIMATE comes from. Some is of course influenced by Marvel comics, The X-Men, and their so very dark future world where mutants were treated like the unwanted of Nazi Germany complete with concentration camps and gas chambers.

I would say my game world is one moving in that direction, but as always there are the heroes to oppose it.

The stone around my neck is that very first chapter of exposition. That was the very first thing I wrote. Doing research as a writer I use wiki a lot to get an overview of various subjects. Writing that part like a wiki seemed like a very natural thing to me.

Unfortunately as I've been told repeatedly in this case, no it does not work. It is one of the things my rewrite and polishing is aimed at fixing.

Thanks again for your wonderful comment Beyogi
hugs
Grover

Awesome, really!

Um sorry if the comment was a bit strange, but I guess it's a bit hard to show that once you get over the first chapter *duck* it's one of the best TG stories ever.
I can really understand your problem though. I too always have the need to describe the world and my ideas to the reader. It's really hard to foreshadow if you know everything already.

Well, I'd love to read the polished version, or whatever you write next. Grover stories are always good after all :)

*hugs*
Beyogi

thanks

Thanks for the story

You're welcome

and thank you for the comment!
Hugs
Grover