Essay: My writing process and how it changed

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Writing stories was always a dream of mine, but I had the same hesitation that many others had. Namely that my writing will be horrible and that no one will read it. Looking back I know it is silly. Still, for years I was reluctant to pick up writing.

It all changed thanks to a small indie fetish game now called "Transformania Time". A PvP game with the focus on changing other players into strange new forms. Be it animate or inanimate. When I stumbled onto it the number of spells was limited. Maybe fifty or so. Shocked I saw the lack of a cheerleader spell. I vowed to change that and shortly after submitted my first contribution. Coincidentally it was also the first time I wrote something related to genderbending. Inspired by my first work I wrote three more spells. Two of them featured gender-bending as well.

My interest in the game waned, but not for the gimmick of transforming people. In my search for more I stumbled upon Fictionmania. While oriented at people looking for gender-bending, it still had a fair amount of categories related to my interest. Soon I stumbled upon two writers that pretty much a huge part of the Fictionmania foundation. Bill Hart and Morpheus. Through (mostly) them I learned to be intrigued by gender-bending. From the storytelling standpoint, it was neat to see a radical shift for a character and how he or she reacts. Soon I discovered a certain issue with stories on FM. Most followed the same mechanic of transformation. It felt limited in creativity. Following the discovery, I started to write down my own story ideas, plot devices, and mechanics. The intent was to pitch these ideas to established writers on FM. Those of you who are fellow writers can appreciate how stupid of an idea this was.

At the time I started my first tries on writing my own stories. Looking back I would say my biggest mistake was to write in the first person. I was intrigued by plot or story, and not as much invested in experiencing it through the eyes of my characters. Writing soon halted and looked elsewhere to use my creative juices.

In the summer to fall of 2015 I decided to work on my poor English grammar. It was especially bad as English isn't my mother language. My chosen tool was writing stories. Contrary to before I chose this time to write in the third perspective. To this day a decision working out quite well for me. At that time I had about thirty story ideas and I made the plan to chose three or four and switch between them depending on mood.

Here I made my second big mistake that I regret nowadays. All chosen stories were intended to be long. Above 100.000 words. Progress was slow and soon my writing suffered from it.
Still, I managed to finish the first part of one of my stories. "Dimension Mages: Battle World Part 1" It had close to 11k words.

I was very proud of my little accomplishment and started to look for an editor in order to publish it on Fictionmania later. Picking up an editor was harder than I thought. The reason why I learned a year later. Only one of the editors asked replied and soon he got my first draft. I expected critique, but not the one I got. "In all honesty, you need to rewrite the whole story." Naturally, I hadn't expected to write a masterwork on my first try. It wasn't the shocking one-liner that made me despair. The lack of any follow-up or willingness to answer what has been wrong put a serious dent in my mood. How can someone expect me to grow as a writer if no one points out my flaws?

I might have quit writing if it hadn't been for one story. "A jar full of Pixie" was a spur of the moment project. It was the first story I wrote in one week and without switching to other stories in between. To finish something this fast felt elating. Not willing to risk another editor fiasco I published it straight to Fictionmania. The many positive reviews uplifted my mood. Yes, my spelling and grammar were critiqued, but overall people liked it nonetheless. I was eager to follow up with more.

My first story not only changed my mood but made me rethink my writing strategy. Clearly working on four or five long stories was beyond my ability. I vowed to focus on shorter stories. Thankfully I had just the right project on a backburner. "Tales of heirloom gems" had been a side project slowly inching towards sixty percent. While I was still busy hitting F5 on my first story I rushed to complete the first five tales. To this day I am a little amazed that I managed to publish them a week later.

At that time I thought that rushing things might hurt my writing, so another rethinking of my strategy was in order. For one I wanted to stay with short stories, but I still wanted to provide a continuous experience for readers. My chosen answer was to write a shared universe. By now the count of my story ideas was above one hundred. About a third of them scattered over various ideas for shared universes. I still had ideas for tales for the heirloom gems universe, but none were as fleshed out as the first five.

I decided on another shared universe. The "Undesirable Classes" universe was ideal to start out. I had already fleshed out most plot points for the first six stories in my iterations.

Perhaps I should explain what these iterations are as they build the foundation of my writing process. Following the initial story idea, I tell the story to myself. The resulting plot points I never write down. I let the story idea rest for some time and then retell the story to myself. Plot points noteworthy from my previous telling remained in my memory. The rest was not good enough and I forgot about it. Each retelling I call an iteration and most of the "Undesirable Classes" stories had about ten or more iterations. I knew their plot points by heart.

Pushing all other started stories aside I began writing on "Natural Affection". Early on I set a goal of 15k words. Those I reached a few weeks later, but the story wasn't even about half-way done. It exposed another weakness of mine as an author. I was unable to predict how big a story will be. So much for writing a "short" story. Still, I continued. I finished mid-January and then scrambled to find test readers to offer me feedback. With about 34K the story was not only my biggest but also most complex one.

The reception wasn't as good as my pixie story. Neither in reader count or reviews. Still, I eagerly started on the next story in the UC universe. Here I made an old familiar error. Instead of taking a break I rushed into the next story. It all did go well ... till it didn't. Halfway through I hit a writer's block. Unsure what to do I looked around and found the answer in form of writing "palate cleansers". Short stories to loosen my writer's muscles. What is the saying? "Third time is the charm."

In the span of a week, I wrote 4 little stories. I patted myself on the shoulder, but then came the question of what to do now. Obviously, I had to publish them, but I didn't want to spam them just out. Soon I settled on uploading one every Friday. While not as successful as my previous stories they offered another small relief for me. Namely, they combated my growing pile of story ideas. By that time about 150.

Another change in writing strategy was in order. The goal was clear. Each Friday a new short story and the rest of the time channeled into the next "Undesirable Classes" story. That worked out for a while. Then summer hit and I got a really big writing break. I blame the heat.

In the fall my will to write returned. I settled on another ambitious project. To write a serial. I chose one big story that I had already started: "The Lokian Way". The first step was to portion it off. That took some time. Then the next hurdle appeared. On Fictionmania there was a string of complaints about serials posted there.

I looked around for another site that might be more welcoming of authors who post serials. I settled on Big Closet. While the general audience appeared smaller I noticed that the audience was also more willing to share comments and critic.

Ramping up to publish "The Lokian Way" I decided to test the waters by posting all my previous work on TBC. Satisfied with the feedback I started to post "The Lokian Way" in October. This proved to be another change in my writing. Now I had a schedule to follow and so far it led to me being more productive. Helping me to tide over times when my muse takes a coffee break or those times she invites all her muse friends for brunch.

And now, as they say, to be continued.