Stardraigh's blog

Good morning Ma'am, Sir, I mean... Sorry.

That's what the gate guard at work said to me this morning. It just keeps on happening and it's happening more often. Second time this week. Happened last week once. Happened the week before once.

I show up to work which is a high security government installation. I have to go through a security checkpoint which has guards posted because it's a high security installation. I have to show the guards my government issued ID which has my legal male name on it and they do look at it.

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I'm still here

I'm still here.

I haven't given up.

I've managed to not give up.

I'm struggling to not give up.

The thing is, I'm a sucker for routine. If there's a break in routine, it messes me. up. If it's a big enough break, it's that much harder for me to get back into it. back in 2015, I had my the last appointment with my psychiatrist. Their scheduling system was down so I couldn't book my next appointment.

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The long or short change

Question.

Do people have a preference for how soon a gender change occurs in a story especially if it is a long story?

I'm curious because I have stories where the gender change occurs quickly, and ones where it's not until almost the end that it takes place. I myself don't have a preference. Since I was thinking about how I feel about it, I started to wonder what other peeps prefer or think on this subject.

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I'm not sure what's going on.

I have had a hard time in my life with writing. As a child and a teen, all I knew how to do was structured writing for school. It was boring when it wasn't stupidly stressful if I messed up, which I often did. I hated it. Then I discovered that I could say screw you to that type of writing and write fiction like the stuff I read to escape. I wanted to do it so badly, yet I struggled with it going months, sometimes even years without writing anything.

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Please help. I don't know what to do now

I finally did it. I acquired pure capsaicin crystals. And I then tried them. Not straight mind you. You can actually put all the pure capsaicin crystals you want in your mouth. They're not water soluble and require a fat or oil to dissolve so saliva won't work. The stuff came with a tiny bottle of glycerine which I did mix them into and try.

Not as hot as I thought it would be. The previous highest scoville unit thing I had was this 4.4 million sauce. The 16 mil is hotter, but it doesn't seem by much.

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RPG in the #dungeon

Last night a few of us had our first gaming session in the #dungeon room in the IRC chat.

I think it was a success. I enjoyed last nights session. This is my first time being a GM with Pathfinder and I like to think I pulled it off with teaching two new players about how to game in this system, and letting the two experienced players have some fun playing.

This game is being run on Thursdays from 7pm to at least 10pm EST. We actually went to just past 11pm.

The Adventure party is full barring no one drops out. Everyone is welcome to come watch.

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Gaming in the IRC Chat

Hi everyone.

Through reading many of the comments by authors and readers here on BC, I know that many of us are gamers of the role-playing kind.

It's still being worked on but a few of us are going to start gaming in the IRC Chat in the #dungeon room.

The room isn't permanent, but it's still being worked on. Also there isn't a dice rolling module in the chat yet either but I've been told that's being worked on as well

I am not a site admin, but after a few of us in the IRC chat professed an interest in gaming, this came about.

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Some witty title goes here

So, I've just posted the first chapter of Bellona which is a Hyperverse story. Since Bellona occurs chronologically before the rest of the stories, I'm focusing on it first before all my other writing. At least that's what I've decided now. This all may change.

On a side note, my deviated septum surgery has been a success and things are better. I had a medication change up which seems to be working better than what I was on before for some of my issues.

Good things it seems... for now...

*knocks on wood....

Be awesome everyone.

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(Insert Witty Title Here)

So.... Now that I've got my sleep under control. Time to get back into writing.

Except I'm having a hard time adjusting. Fun stuff as it is, I found an article that sort of helps. How to Put Yourself into an Effortless Writing Zone

What I'd like to know is if the rest of BC has any tips and tricks they've found to help with getting them to where they can write.

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I can breath, and I can sleep

Breathing is great. I can breath through my nose now that I've had my deviated septum fixed.

Being able to breath is wonderful.

Since the stents were removed last Thursday, each night I've gotten a full 8 hours or more sleep.

Sleep is wonderful.

I've already made progress on my writing. A few chapters have made it into rough draft. No more defaulting to sleep when I try to write.

So excited now.

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So here I am

It's 3 am and I'm at my friends house spending the night. My friends mother will take me in just under 4 hours to the hospital where I'm going to have surgery on my deviated septum. Normally this is outpatient, but I get to spend the night.

Why am I up this early and not sleeping?

Partly due to the anxiety I always get with these things, and partly because I couldn't breath and woke up some congestion an hour ago.

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I keep on messing up

I just got back from vacation last night. I retrieved all of my held mail. Over $1000 in bills were waiting for me. Some of these are for things I paid off months ago or they're on closed accounts. Now I have to backtrack and see if these were just the last bill that was sent out before I paid it off, or if they're new and whether they should or shouldn't be. I'm so sick of this.

This year has been the worst year for me as far as finances are concerned. I keep on thinking I'm staying on top of things and keep on getting slapped in the face.

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Question about story source

This morning, one of my mothers dogs and my brothers dog woke me up with incessant barking. I proceeded to lock myself out of my mothers house while she had yet to wake up. I spent a half hour in the backyard, in shorts and a tank top, keeping the dogs quiet until I could get back inside. I then fell back asleep for another four hours where I had a wonderful dream.

It was a dream where my heart ached and my mind yearned to go back.

I then proceeded to spend the rest of the day till now outlining a story completely based on this dream.

My question to BC is where do you get the kernels for your stories?

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Fight or Flight is stuck on

I've discovered that I can't write effectively with my flight or fight instinct broken and on. It's been a while since it was this bad. My writing is suffering. I'm here with my limited work area, setup in the room I'm sleeping in at my mothers house. My brain screams at me that there is danger, and I know that there isn't, but it won't shut up. Not easy to write when that's ongoing. I had high hopes that my vacation would be a lot of writing, and it's been the opposite.

At least my mood stabilizer is keeping me stable in regards to moods.

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