Tried to find this question in the forums but failed. I am thinking of making use of the COGIATI test in my newest story, which takes place in the 1980s. The character begins to question himself at the home of a friend whose father is a therapist. As an easy first step, the father digs a copy of the test out of his... desk or book from his shelves or whatever. But I would like to know if the COGIATI test existed that early. I don't mind "bending the rules" to make a story work, but this would be a bit of a strain on credibility. Thank you!
So I was researching some of the modern terms coined by the asexual community because one of my characters has only desired our protagonist. I was reading the definition of demisexual, meaning that you only desire sex with someone you're in love with. Now, many people would only have sex with someone they feel an emotional connection to, but the desire is there. Not so for demisexuals. I spotted a link for a quiz. Realizing that this term seems to describe me, I took the quiz. It tells me that I am demisexual! So I'm not just a prude after all!
I just wanted to let you know that Budding Lilli is finished and I just need to find a moment to upload the rest. It should be up in a day or two. Real life got in the way - in this case, real life meaning I wrote another short story (which will also be up soon) and a new song!
I just stumbled on an article in The Daily Mail about an ancient Egyptian mummy that turns out to be a boy dressed as a girl! No fooling! It just goes to show you that we've been around forever!
I've been thinking about how "he" was not only a facade - and I am speaking only for myself on that - because "he" had a presence in this world, an influence, a purpose. "He" was still never the real me, of course, make no mistake there. However, there was a reason for "him" to exist. There were things "he" did that affected other people, like songs "he" wrote and stories "he" wrote and things "he" did. "He" had a very real and very valuable purpose in this world.
So, it was suggested to me that I do some kind of ritual for letting go of the old (male) me and embracing the new (female) me because I said I'd not done that, I'd just kind of moved on. I thought about it and decided it might be a good thing to do. So, on Monday I came up with something and went out and did it.
I remember reading somewhere that the human heartbeat cycle has a weakness such that if the heart receives a blow at just the wrong instant in the cycle it will stop beating.
Well, I spent a solid five minutes hitting my own chest trying to make my heart stop beating.
At church tonight, someone mentioned she and her partner were celebrating their second wedding anniversary and... god damn it... I just... couldn't help being reminded of what I am no longer able to even believe I will ever have.
So I met this girl at church, right? Well, goddamn it... once again I thought was seeing favorable signs of romantic interest and once again I could not have been more wrong. It appears that I have no ability whatsoever to determine if a girl is interested in me or not.
Alas, this has happened to me one too many times. Now, even if a girl is interested in me, I don't think I'll be able to believe it. I don't know how to trust in that anymore. I don't know what means what.
I am completely clueless. And that's that. I give up, completely, totally and utterly. I give up.
It is late at night, late enough to be early. I sit alone in my easy chair, stormed by stillness, deafened by quiet and flooded with emptiness. The inexorable march of time is measured by a clock ticking off seconds and the beat of my run-down heart.
Just a quick update on my story writing goings-on. I am working on a story for the All Souls Day Contest and I'm hoping to have it up within the week. After that, I have some older stories I wrote a little while back and I'm thinking of posting those -- unless a new idea creeps into my head, and that does happen!
I finally found my way to the blog on TS! I wanted to interact with my readers a bit more and I thought I'd start posting some information about what's going on with my story writing.
Checks can be made out & sent to:
Joyce Melton
1001 Third St.
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Calimesa, CA 92320
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