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I have the brave face on right now. I may look like I'm alright, or sound it. But this time of year is ....hard for me.

Christmas WAS my mom's thing. All it really does for me and my family is remind us of the pain of her loss.

Add to this the "stress" of returning to work and I'm something of a bitch currently when not at work.

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So, you are up and about again?

I do hope that you are feeling better. Christmas was bad for me for several years, but lately I have grown to love it again.

Much peace

Gwendolyn

I share your pain

This will be the first Christmas without my Mom. To make matters worse, we're spending the holidays at her house getting things in order. I'm trying very hard to remember all the good times and cherish the all-to-short time we have on this earth with loved ones.

Suzij

Where there is a will-fullness there is a way -- snicker --

Bitch all you want tels.

Being a bitch is a hell of a lot better than being depressed or...

It will get better.

Hey, channel that inner bitch into your writing. Could be fun... Hum, maybe you could skewer a nasty boss or that obnoxious uncle? Ooooh! your favorite wacko LGBT hating politican?

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. Perhaps you could honor your mom in a story. My late mom pops up in alot of what I write.

P.P.S. But no picking on balding almost 56 year old Midwestern guys. No no no !

John in Wauwatosa

Oh oh yes John!

Your on the table as well!!! (Snicker giggles). Jaci dear, this to shall pass and with the new year also comes renewed hope for a better/happier future hon. Loving Hugs Talia (aka Popcorn Lady)

I do understand, Jaci....

Ragtime Rachel's picture

It was a favorite time for my mother as well, and last year was absolute hell for me. Though the pain never truly goes away, time does blunt it somewhat, and I'm sure next year will be a more pleasant one for you.

I think the advice you've already been given is sound--try to remember the good holiday moments you shared with her. My mother more than once admitted to being as excited as any child at Christmas--she didn't get a moment's sleep the night before. None of us could--we passed the hours on Christmas Eve by playing pinochle until we were too bleary-eyed to see the cards. I cherish the little moments when Mom and I would sit at the kitchen table and talk. I barely remember what gifts I got, but I'll remember those moments forever. Thinking about them gets me through the inevitable rough spots this time of year.

Do yourself a favor and try to give yourself a Christmas the likes of which your mother would have been proud. Put up any decorations you have; bake cookies if that's what you and she used to do. In a way, it'll be like having her there with you.

Livin' A Ragtime Life,
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Rachel

Good, Happy, Pleasant thoughts to you, Tels

You are loved very much by those here, and here is my Holiday wish for you:

Put on a happy face, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.

Have a very Merry Christmas, and always many happy returns.

Don't let someone else talk you out of your dreams. How can we have dreams come true, if we have no dreams?

Katrina Gayle "Stormy" Storm

Big hugs

Amethyst's picture

I only really celebrated for my kids' sake and it's a bit hard on me now that I'm on the other side of the country and can hardly to speak with them.

One thing I always told my kids was that Christmas isn't about gifts it's about family. And I've learned in the past few years that family isn't necessarily about who you share genes with it's about who you share love with. Jaci you have a bunch of us here who love and care for you.I know it doesn't make the loss of your mom any less painful but you have family here to turn to and gripe to when times are rough. We're all here for you.

*hugs*

Amethyst

ChibiMaker1.jpg

Don't take me too seriously. I'm just kitten around. :3