I didn't know where to Post this so I Decided to post as a BLOG Entry.

Disclaimer:- What I am about to write IS NOT intended to begin a discussion on the past or present state of mind of myself or anyone else mentioned below.

A HEART FELT PLEA .....

For the last five days I have been metaphoricaly battling with some of my own demons, demons I misakenly thought I had slain months ago, and delt with the guilt associated
with them.

About 8 years ago a very dear friend and I would get together once or twice a week and watch the NCIS and CSI nights on TV. 2 years previously I was diagnosed as being depressed, I might in my estimation add by a very poor GP who wrote a prescription for anti-depressants and also a free 2 month membership to a gym as he said I needed more exercise, at the time I was working in a factory due to the nature of the product the use of a powered forktruck was a big no no! Thus my main job was movement of the 1/4 and 1/2 ton pallets on a manual hydraulic pump truck, needless to say I was getting plenty of exercise. I digress.

These nights of watching Ncis and Csi led to some discussion between my friend and I about forensic science, then to write a story in that arena, I opted to take the planning of the prefect murder!

After some weeks had passed we exchanged notes, to see what each other thought of our ideas, I began to read my friends notes then offered a drink and went to get said drink, while the water was boiling my friend came through to the kitchen and made excuses and left. A short time later there was a knock on the front door.
My friend asked if I would like to go for a walk, after a 20 minute walk my friend and I were being shown into a rather nice lounge room.

So it transpired I had been taken to a therapist, the reason for this is I had indeed found more than 20 ways to commit a murder, and at least 2 ways of commiting the perfect murder.
{Towit every author knows, the victim dies and leaves almost no evidence of foul play and the murderer isn't prosecuted for the crime!}

After several weeks of biweekly trips to the therapist I was asked to read 3 photo copied sheets, what I read SCARED me, although at the time of writing my addled brain hadn't put the peices together, the murder I had planned was mine!!!!

My friend had by then saved me, and I'm eternaly greatful!!!

~o~O~o~

Fast forward to around this time last year, and several conversations that my dear friend and I had over the coures of a fortnight, what was said isn't as important how it was said and what wasn't said, to really understand what I just wrote you would have had to have known my freind!!!

I wish so much that I had taken more notice, of what was said, as soon after while I was away with a family member who is now in remission. Maybe my freind would still be here!!

Needless to say I fully undrstand the idiom 'IF' is the bigest word in the english language.

I know that it isn't my fault. that still doesn't change the guilt I feel to this day.

~o~O~o~

A HEART FELT PLEA .....

I Can't remember ever reading a story, or part thereof so many times in such a short period of time. Specificaly the last 1000 to 1500 words. including the Authors note....

Maybe I am letting my own experiences colour my interpretaion, but I have to at least try, I might be wrong then no harm done... but if I am guilty of anything now I believe I care too much.

The story in question was posted Sepember 3, by Light, Titled 'BROKEN'

http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/46382/broken?page=1

I realise this was posted as a final offering to all and was a metaphoric goodbye to readers and authors [who are also readers] on BCTS..

After reading the quote below I had shivers running down my spine

'Those of you who have read a lot of my work will notice that this story is very unusual for me. It is written in first person and is also a tragedy, both of which are things I’ve never done. As with most of my writing, this is very much deliberate.'

I am not trying to upset anyone with this Post, I'm extremly worried about Light.