The Family Girl #061: It's Too Obvious Now

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The Family Girl Blogs
(aka "The New Working Girl Blogs")

Blog #61: It's Too Obvious Now

To see all of Bobbie's Family Girl Blogs, click on this link:
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs

It was actually confirmed February 22, but Sweetie and I haven't been telling anyone. We weren't really keeping it a secret, but we would only tell people if they asked. So we've been able to keep it quiet for a while. Which was something we thought was important. I being a post-op TG girl wasn't the issue (as very, very few here know), but the fact that we were in a same-sex relationship was. Especially in a very conservative, predominantly-catholic country like the Philippines. (Guess that's the advantage of Washington DC - people are more blasé about such things back home.) And adding this to the mix will just make us doubly... controversial... So we though keeping this quiet was important.

But that's impossible now.

Since the beginning of June, Moe has started to show (she's gettin' biiig heehee) so the questions are now inevitable. So we decided to announce it to friends at my birthday party last Saturday night (great timing, huh? lol). And this blog is my way of announcing this officially to the BCTS folks (although there are some who know already).

The announcement last Saturday went well, I think. And all we've gotten were positive vibes since. The news has trickled down to the office, and people have been congratulating me off and on these past couple of days. I think we've underestimated Filipinos' open-mindedness, or maybe we've just been lucky.

The other big, sticky thing we've been dreading DID come up, though - the question of who the father was. But we were prepared! (It pays to have a nerd in the family lol) We side-stepped the question by saying we went AI. And we didn't even need to lie, too heehee.

I suppose the timing for this isn't the best but we had decided to try for it this year - my... deposit... is more than ten years old, and we were told that the viability is best if it's less than twelve years. Even though we were told the longest that resulted in a successful conception was twenty-one years, Moe didn't want to take any chances. Plus her papa-san and my ma really wanted one. But Moe admitted that the larger reason is that she just wants a baby. When I pressed her on it, she said, "Chikushoh! Watashi wa akachangahoshee! Damare!" (I had to ask my brother-in-law, Toshio, and it took us a week to puzzle out the phrase since I didn't remember it right.) Anyway, what Moe essentially said was, "God damnit, I just want a baby! So shut up!" (lol)

Anyway, I told her that if this one doesn't take, I have some more wrigglers still in deep freeze and we can try agsin, and if that doesn't work out, we can still adopt or something.

We're not worried, now that she's been able to conceive. Although her ob/gyn expressed some concern about her having a relatively short cervix, she said not to worry.

I guess, for me, my biggest worry was all about me - whether I will be a good enough mom. There are lingering doubts in me, like since I am not a real woman, could I ever be a mother? I suppose most parents don't think of the mother-father dichotomy of parenting nowadays, and just worry about being a good parent in general.

For TG women like me, where gender differences have been externalized into something concrete, I tend to thnk of this more than others. Or maybe, since I began life "broken," am I so fundamentally flawed that I might pass this on to my daughter?

Truthfully, though, these things don't really occupy my thoughts all the time - only on rare occasions, like when I'm writing a blog or something (lolz). Hmmm. Aparently, being one year older hasn't made me any wiser...

Anyway, don't worry about me. I am fine. I am, in fact great! I'm gonna have a baby!
  

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Comments

*Happy dances of Yayness*

That is so completely amazing and it's perfect actually. You take great care in others here, you're a funny writer and a good spouse since the two of you have been together quite awhile and through a lot.

All in all a recipe in my book to be a great mom.
*Great Big Hugs*

Bailey Summers

Thank you

bobbie-c's picture

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c

Ummm...

bobbie-c's picture

I'm afraid not, Joanne.

The honor of naming her's been jointly promised to my dad and Papa-san. I can suggest it to them, though. If not, perhaps, the next one? :)
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To read my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
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I had wondered..

based on a couple of your remarks. but congratulations.
heres to mom and momma-san doing great.

Well...

bobbie-c's picture

Well, as I said, we weren't really hiding it. Thing was, no one was asking the question... lol
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c

It's not polite to ask, for

It's not polite to ask, for the most part.

"So, when are you due?" "I'm fat, you bastard!" *WHACK!*


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

That is awesome news!

I really wish that the stories on BC mentioned that as something that should be a no brainer. I certainly regret not having saved my wigglers. As it turned out that was not possible anyway as my partner is not genetic and I am certainly too old now.

Please accept my virtual hugs for both of you.

Kim

thanks!

bobbie-c's picture

:-)
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c

Una dolce bambina!

Andrea Lena's picture

Dio vi benedica e vi moemoe! Amore per i miei cari nipoti!

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

grazie

bobbie-c's picture

Probabilmente non e sufficiente - le parole non bastano per dire quanto siamo grati per la vostra amicizia.

- Bobbie, Moe e Baby
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c

Thank you

bobbie-c's picture

Thank you, Allison. I hope you're right
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c

Now I'll say it, since ...

you expressed some of the 'Cathy Watt's Syndrome'.

You are a woman, so prepare to be a parent. I don't think your child will care if you are 'not a real woman', as long as you are a good parent. I've known 2 such parents, and in both cases there were unrealized doubts such as you have expressed.

In a couple of other cases, it was two same gender parents with adopted children. Now remember, this was in liberal California, but the children were fairly old before they really realized their families were different,, but having two loving parents who supported them got everyone through it.

Congratulations, Mommy to be.

Holly

It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Holly

Thanks!

bobbie-c's picture

Hi, Holly! Hope you're doing ok.

As I mentioned to Bibliophage, just before I went to bed last night, I thought about it some more, and I think my worries are just the standard parent worries (if you can call them "standard"), and its my being transgendered that tries to make this gender-related, when in truth, it's just the usual being-a-parent jitters.

Thanks, and please keep us updated on things!
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c

Big congratulations and hugs!

Big congratulations and hugs! I'm sure you will both be great moms.

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

Thank you!

bobbie-c's picture

Thanks, Kris! We have our fingers crossed, that we'll be able to do a good job.
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c

Happy Dance Happy Dance Happy Dance

I am so happy for you, this is super fantastic news. Do not worry about being a good mom it is in your instincts your blood your very molecular existence. You are a women full stop. Accept help from the Grandmothers and Aunties as this compleats them as well.

What you are doing is exactly how we did it in 2000 and in 2003, we have two wonderful daughters who I am there Ma Ma and my mate there Birth mother is mommie. I gave them what has been the best of me and it has allowed me to grow so much caring for them. You will be fantastic that is if you survive the sleep deprivation. Remember the first rule of caring for Babies is to sleep when they sleep.

Congratulations
Huggles
Ma Ma Wolf Michele

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book

celtgirl_0.gif

Thanks!

bobbie-c's picture

Duly noted, Michele, and thank you for what you said, and the kind wishes. :-)
 

 
 
   

To read the rest of my Family Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/28818/family-girl-blogs
To read my old Working Girl Blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To read all of my blogs, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To read my stories in BCTS, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot
To see my profile and know more about me, click this link -
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/user/bobbie-c