Belonging Nowhere

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What if you really fit neither mold?
Is there room for those who just don't fit?
Do others feel this way?

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I think there is no mold here

We are all on a continuum that stretches into infinity then back onto its self. Here you do not need to fit into a box just be who you are. I do not think any of us are set into a mold we are to varied and all of us are so darn pretty.
My thoughts are that in the outside world the people just live as they are, they just think they fit a mold, but that is largely a self delusion. But yes I do feel I have a problem fitting in at times.

Huggles
Michele

With those with open eyes the world reads like a book

celtgirl_0.gif

There's Only One Mold You Have To Fit

“I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! My life is my own.”

Number 6

Be seeing you...

Ban nothing. Question everything.

I reckon I grew up in the hip generation...

Puddintane's picture

...and never stopped. I don't think there's any genre of music I don't like. Last count, I had around ten thousand CDs from all over the world, from The Makaha Sons of Ni'ihau to Gamelan Sekar Jaya to Katy Perry to Mariachi Vargas and points everywhichaway, including 30K Maniacs.

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Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Try The Go! Team

I grew up in the 60s, when black music to a white kid in north-east England meant Tamla Motown and Stax. By the time I was old enough to dance the Philly scene had come along, bland and uninspired. That mutated seamlessly into disco, which seemed to me nothing more than sequin-studded posturing. That must have been when I formed the impression that the only black musicians worth listening to were old bluesmen and the jazzers employed by people like Frank Zappa.

The problem I've always had with hip hop is that the backing tracks are too predictable for my tastes. (I ought to say at this point that I dislike most contemporary pop and rock for exactly the same reason.) In my opinion its merits lie principally with the lyrics; at its best it can be thought-provoking urban poetry. At other times...well, you don't need me to give you examples of the finger-wagging misogynist poseurs that give rap a bad name.

I assume that the track you linked to came into the former category. But the message was lost on me because the words were delivered in such break-neck fashion, and over such an intrusive background of crackles and hisses that I hardly caught any of them. Had I done so, I suspect they'd have been in a patois the inhabitants of certain areas in south London might delude themselves into thinking has become a kind of lingua franca for cities all over the UK, but which really means nothing to those of us who don't have a libretto to this Peckham/Brixton/Lewisham or wherever opera.

The Go! Team are more my style. More a musical collective than a band, they sample, they rap, they borrow from Europop, Japanese folk music, Americana and prog rock. Best of all, their melodies soar so high they make you glad to be alive. The finest musical talent ever to emerge from good old Sussex by the sea.

Try 'Apollo Throwdown'

http://youtu.be/tvoQ-5YI0n0

If you liked that, here's 'Secretary Song'

http://youtu.be/q41DBQ_psRk

Ban nothing. Question everything.

Hip Hop and Rap

Puddintane's picture

The backing tracks are mainly meant to keep the beat, not to be melodies on their own, and really share more with the soundtracks of SF and Horror films than any particular genre. The effects are the "hook," not the melody, nor is it meant to be the sort of thing one can whistle as one strolls down the trail. Hip Hop is a descendent of Jamaican Dub and Reggae music, more-or-less, and ultimately the distant relative of African spoken word genres, but more heavily-influenced by the technology of music and sound manipulation rather than any particular style. One can discern quite a bit of Dub in 30K Bastards' work, but it's all basically words, which might appeal to a writer.

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Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

What mold?

Honestly, I really don't want to fit any mold. Or mildew either. They're both pretty icky.

Abigail Drew.

Unfortunately,

Angharad's picture

we tend to use groups as a means of identifying ourselves or others, so not belonging to any of the established ones could cause you problems, unless of course you set up as the founder of a new group; which again could cause you problems.

In declaring that you don't feel comfortable with existing groups, you're using them to identify yourself,if only in a negative. You might be better declaring who you feel you are rather than what you're not. Sorry, it got a bit abstract but then I'm a sagittarian, and comfortable with it.

Angharad

Ooooh! Capricorn, Virgo Moon and Rising...

Puddintane's picture

I'm told it shows...

Crown of the Zodiac, of course...

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Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

Categorisation

In general, humans have problems dealing with continuous data. We prefer discrete data - preferably in as few groups as possible. Hence, for example, with length, we prefer measuring small lengths in centimetres or inches, rooms / humans / furniture in feet (possibly centimetres, but almost never millimetres!), outside spaces in either yards, metres or possibly even multiples of 6 feet (in the UK at least, the standard size of a fence panel) and distances between settlements in miles or kilometres, often rounding to the nearest 10/100/1,000.

Things get more complicated with biology. Hair, while having a spectrum of hundreds of colours, is almost universally characterised as 'blonde', 'brown', 'black', 'ginger' or 'grey', although occasionally you hear slightly more descriptive terms like 'strawberry blonde' (although often with the more descriptive terms, the same name can be given to significantly different shades!) The only place you're likely to see a wider description of hair colours is on a shelf of hair dyes, where you're likely to encounter names such as "light ash blonde 01."

Then there's gender and sexuality. In reality, imagine a graph with numerous axes (not just 2 or 3) representing different aspects of gender: genotype/karotype [what your genes say], biochemistry [what hormones etc. are roaming around you], phenotype [what you look like naked], identity, presentation, behaviour/mannerisms [mainly in relation to cultural stereotypes] and so on. It's quite likely rather than occupying a single defined spot, you occupy a cloud of points. Then do a similar thing with the kind of person you're attracted to (which may be different for romantic love and sexual relationships).

Society is still fixated on the concept of the gender binary, so people that don't appear within the range of variation usually associated with one category or the other may be perceived as odd / weird / freaks. This gets worse among those who take certain texts written thousands of years ago as literal truth and to be preferred if science disagrees, and isn't helped by the English language (and probably several others) having no commonly accepted gender-neutral pronouns plus bureaucracies only having two gender tickboxes. It's not much better for sexuality - strongly and exclusively heterosexual with a single life partner is often seen as the 'norm', anything else (not just LGB, but for example those who have multiple partners or have one romantic and one sexual partner [even if both are aware and supportive of the arrangements!], or multiple other variations) may be perceived as odd / weird / freakish.

Even those who fit outside the traditional categories may be prone to categorisation - while "LGBT" is the most common acronymic descriptor, Q (questioning) and I (intersexed) are sometimes tacked on the end, and sometimes up to half a dozen or so other acronyms for various other categories (e.g. pansexual, polysexual, genderqueer [itself a container for several categories e.g. bi-gender, tri-gender, pangender, third gender]).

You probably know yourself roughly where you sit in the 'cloud', but trying to express it accurately yet concisely if likely to be difficult, open to misinterpretation or even downright impossible. Just be yourself.


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

I Wrote this to a dear friend last night...

Ole Ulfson's picture

Normal is a line, from here to there, not any one point along that line.

I believe this very strongly, with my entire being and I hope you can too. It's a realization (an epiphany?) I came to at 17 that has sustained me.

God created me just as I am and God does not make mistakes!

I am God's creation and I am just as He meant me to be; with all the desires, talents and characteristics He gave me. He had a purpose that I don't understand, but that makes it no less real or important. I think this applies to all of us.

While I'm not quite either or neither, I'm me, and that's enough...

I hope these simple thoughts will help others,

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!

Double-Gendered and proud.

Extravagance's picture

I present as a male because that's easier for me, and I'm rather bishy for my age... ;)
I can "act" as feminine as I need to without anybody actually noticing it, I really am that clever. ^_^

Catfolk Pride.PNG

Me, I have never really

conformed to any set model of conformity. From the start, I have known that I am far different from what society calls the Norm. It was only after meeting those who saw and encouraged that spark of individuality in me that I knew that I am T.G. Well, I am pretty much the typical guy, but appreciate the entire spectrum of humanity. At times, i fail, that is when I ask that I be informed so that I do not fail in that way, again.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

You are so much more !

There are thousands more combinations than man or woman. I have to stay involved in hobbies that do not try to define me.

G

My definition

Angharad's picture

of normal is what I do - everyone else is weird.

Angharad

Brilliant!

As I once said in a reply to a thread on FB,

Define "Normal" :)

In reality, we create our own normality shaped by our thoughts, beliefs and experiences; which may not be the same as anyone else's definition. For example, several people here have mentioned medical issues (apart from the obvious!) or life experiences which could seem horrendous and unimaginable to those without; but of course to the person with issues / experiences, dealing with them is normality, and a life without them would seem almost unimaginable.


As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!

I know I do...

Andrea Lena's picture

...every single day. I'm sure it applies to so many other expressions of the human experience, but being transgendered feels like I reside in two different countries while holding citizen to neither.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

I like that explanation

Hypatia Littlewings's picture

Interesting phrase,
"feels like I reside in two different countries while holding citizen to neither."
It covers a lot of territory, kind of expresses how I have been feeling.

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Thanks everyone for your insights.