As parents we mourn the loss of our children's innocence as they grow up, aware that they need to become streetwise or be very vulnerable. We mourn when they leave home, because we have lost something. In this case it's the mourning for what was and what might have been and whilst I'm sure the mother will have splendid times with her new daughter, in her mind she's lost her son.

I remember my own mother telling me she'd lost a son but gained a daughter - it pleased me enormously, but I wonder how easy it was for her to say it, and did she mean it or was it just said as support to me. I'll never know.