My Life as a Iconoclast

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20120312_resize.jpgOkay -- as some of may have seen, I've posted some of my meager output here as part of the Female to Male crossdressing genre.

So I thought that I would intro myself and do a few whys and wherefores.

I have always been a tomboy -- and was encouraged along this route because it was 'cute'. I played baseball, was on the track team, played basketball etc. As such, I took same taunts at school and didn't date any guys. As it turns out, I had no interest in them either, although I did want someone -- a best bud. I was a blank slate yet also filled with wonderings and wanderings. And hormones being hormones I was a hormonally driven as heck!

As it happens, I have an older brother who is gay and I found that one place I was marginally accepted was among him and his friends at very least because there was no pressure from either side to 'hit' on each other. We'd shoot hoops and hang together. Of course there were some places that I couldn't hang with them.

I knew what was going on. In fact I even saw it going on. And damnit I was jealous, cause it looked like fun. That damn hormone thing again. Oh -- and BTW -- don't call me a fag hag! I may like seeing guys doing it with guys but as you can see, I have my own bent on it.

Off I went to college -- fell in with the wrong (not!) crowd and met my soul mate and fellow tomboy love of my life Sparky. She was a bit older than me, a lot more experienced, but had what it took to take this baby-dyke to her full potential.

I should mention that we are both just average folk. Nothing about us would scream out anything to anyone -- no tats, no piercings. Well, hopefully at times, we might scream out boy instead of girl, cause we both get off on gender play and crossdressing. Plus we share a mutually attraction to gay guys, so much so that part of our play is, ah, er, playing at being gay guys.

Okay -- yeah -- I heard it all before -- girls can't crossdress/ girls don't crossdress -- wah wah wah -- they get to dress in pants and guys clothes and no one says anything but let a guy wear a dress and BAM! Funny -- seems to me that there is more uproar over Chaz Bono, who I don't really like, than over RuPaul. And yes I know -- Chaz is TG and RuPaul is a drag queen -- two different things -- but you get my point. Let a cis-female try to present as male and there is hell to pay -- especially in the M2F crossdressing community -- as in why would anyone want to be/ dress as a man!

Jeez --I hope I'm not offending anyone -- I'm just stating my feelings.

Anyway -- as I move along through life, with Sparky as my muse I set out to find erotica about people like us -- not body swap or sci-fi or fantasy just regular crossdressing fiction with an FTM twist. And I found -- NADA! Nothing!

Actually -- I did find one person. A good friend, a sweet str8 guy, Kozmik Alaska, who wrote some. Damn -- if he had a vagina, I'd be all over him! After we did the complex dance of I'm a girl and you're a guy and we both like girls, it settled into a bit of mentoring and I started to write. First effort was really crappy. Second less so. Third a bit better. 4th was nothing like anything Koz would ever written -- I came into my own groove -- mostly thanks to Sparky.

So why does it turn me on to wears guys underwear and dress as a guy, and use a packy in my briefs to make it look like I have penis. I don't want to change sex. I just like to dress as a guy. I wanted to be treated as a guy. And seeing two guys get it on really gets me going so much that I want o be doing exactly what they're doing.

I break the mold I guess.

Trap

Comments

Cool :D I've seen some of

Cool :D I've seen some of your stories but wasn't too excited about the first one. I guess it might be interesting to check out - if only because it is different. There are many many TG stories, but the f2m are maybe one on a thousand.

I think your

views and opinions here would be very welcome. Certainly, they are by me.

Sarah Lynn

p.s. Now I have to go and look up 'Iconoclast.' I really thought it meant
something else! ;P

Unusual indeed, for here.

I have said many times here that crossdressing doesn't speak to me. I don't get it. That doesn't mean I condemn it, just that it is not something that calls out to me. I don't crossdress, I just get dressed, and clothes have no innate importance to me, compared to identity. That means I have to work harder to engage with the subject. Gay men don't call to me either. You want to do THAT with THAT? Fine; let me know when you're done. Again, no condemnation, just no real identification or empathy with the subject. I consider myself just a bog-standard woman, and while I have written any number of lesbians and gay men into my stories, I don't connect with them the way I do with other characters. Then again, I can't stand football or cricket.

That being said, yours is a viewpoint a tad different from others here. And it's welcome. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same.

"What a boring world if we were all the same..."

laika's picture

Exactly.

And a wide-ranging diversity of types is even supposed to be good for us as a species, according to Jeff Goldblum, keeping our options open for the next evolutionary watershed. And if you'll excuse me going off all AndyRoonyishly scattershot here...

The existence of FtM transsexuals and female crossdressers adds a nice symmetry to the universe.

It's nice to see dykes who appreciate fags. I understand the social isolation of gay and lesbian cultures from each other (and sometimes butch from femmes within each of these group), but I've always found it sad, and had more fun at the parties/ bars/ rallies where all sorts are present.

I was walking down the street with a friend of mine and we passed a VERY butch dyke. Once out of earshot my friend started mocking this person in the most homophobic terms. I couldn't believe it. Here she was a pussy-loving bisexual woman who dug pretty girls, straight men, and loves befriending gay men and drag queens and even accepts me as a girl but she has this weird bigotry when it comes to FtM. Weird. She sneered, "She wants to be some girl's 'daddy'..."

I was stunned. Said, "And just what on earth is wrong with that?!! She can my Daddy anytime!"

Okay I'm weird...

It's good that someone appreciates having a nice pair of tidy whities and a thing to go in them, instead of finding it depressing as hell like I do.

It's too bad that stories that stray from certain parameters do so poorly here, comments and kudos-wise; but iconoclastic stories and viewpoints provide a vital range to what's offered here, even if very few express much appreciation for the individual stories. You seldom know when your not-so-popular story made someone's day, speaking to their unique POV and helping them feel less alone in this vast uncaring cosmos...

Welcome to the Monkeyhouse, Trapper Jock.
~hugs, Veronica

Nice to be nestled between two of my favorite folk...

Andrea Lena's picture

..."okay, I'm weird?" Welcome to the Monkeyhouse indeed. As long as you're throwing stones at icons and not poo, it should be just fine. I like your stories, TJ! Whoo hoo!!!!

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To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Welcome aboard...

Ole Ulfson's picture

I can't speak for the group, but I think this is a very accepting place, and speaking for myself, I'm always open to something new.

Welcome! Welcome!

Your new friend,

Ole

We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!

Gender rights are the new civil rights!

Mirror image.

You seem like a mirror image of me; a sort of F/to/M version of me. You like dressing as the opp/gender but you don't want the op. SNAP.

Interesting story Trap. You are just further proof of the variations that the gender spectrum can encompass and once again, you show that gender and sexuality are but little connected, if at all.

You'll find this site to be pretty friendly and very considerate of each individual's nature/makeup/sexuality/gender/differences/etc.

Live life to the full girl.

Love and hugs.

PS like the whities, particularly the knee-socks.

XZXX.

Beverly.

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Each

Angharad's picture

to her own, but welcome anyway.

Angharad