The Working Girl Blog #09: Nothing exciting today...

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The Working Girl Blog #9:
Nothing exciting today - just jogging, or
Second Saturday jogging and I got jogging partners now

Nothing exciting to write about today, except that I went out jogging again this morning, and I wore one of the two jogging outfits I bought last Sunday - a white sports bra and white leggings both with baby-blue trim. I partnered them with my new white n silver Nike Air Max with baby-blue trim (I'll wear the pro-core top n skapri next week). Though the weather's been getting warmer, it was still in the low sixties so I wore my powder-blue zip-front hoodie, which was convenient since it gave me a place to put my wallet, keys and pepper spray.

When I got down to the lobby, my three team leads were there, waiting. I had forgotten that, on the bus/shuttle trip home two days ago, I mentioned that I had just started jogging, and they said they wanted to try exercising as well, and asked to tag along.

We had about an hour of leisurely jogging, but the two girls had trouble keeping up. I know this is mean of me, but I felt better knowing someone was more out of shape than me. Heehee.

After a little over an hour, we quit and I brought them to Soho, my favorite coffee place, and had coffee as we wound down. We talked a bit about some inconsequential stuff and talked some shop talk.

At one point, Mr. Personality got up to go to the bathroom. The girls looked at the guy as he went to the bathroom, then at me, and then they giggled. I asked what was it, and they just shook their heads.

Eventually, everyone went home and I went to CVS for some toiletries I was running low on.

I went back home and took a shower. Wonder if they would be jogging with me again next week. I wish they would. Having them around made things feel normal - that's the closest word I could think of to explain what I was thinking. I guess what I want to say was that doing normal things with other people made me feel like a regular person, or, more than that, a person that others accepted AS a regular person. And it also made me feel less lonely, too. Sorry, that's the best I can do to describe what I was thinking.

Anyway, sorry for the humdrum post. I hope to have some better stuff to write about later. Logging off now - having lunch out with my best friend (she's gonna show off her new car, I can just tell)

Later.

bobbysig-blue.pink
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot



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Comments

And you call it

'Nothing exciting'?! You know girl, your blog is a fun story to read in its own right!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Maybe not exciting but...

Reassuring, and amazing, just to know that life as a transwoman can be so normal. After all of the shame and fear growing up, to know that the ones who tormented us were wrong. We can transition and experience normal life on the other side. I'm so happy for you! Thanks for posting this. It's inspiring.

You're too kind

bobbie-c's picture

I'm so glad that you find my blogs inspiring. I'm so very grateful for that.

But I guess I can't really think of my life as anything even close to normal. Perhaps to those that only know me from work, from around the apartment building, from my usual coffeeplace and other similar places, my life would seem normal.

But those that really know me would know better, and know how lonely, troubled, insecure and neurotic I really am. I've been going to the same therapist for more than five years (since RLT), and that fact alone would tell you something. I actually consider myself closer to her than with my parents.

I have trust issues, issues with believing in my self-worth, and even with the simple ability to accept compliments. Deep down, I cannot really believe anyone would want to be around me. My therapist says that comes from my years as an outsider boy, of being considered as a nerd, a shrimp, a little guy that bullies seem compelled to beat up on. My therapist and I think I'm making progress on this, but I'm not yet there.

Before transition, during my RLT, a bunch of girls from the office invited me to a night out when in fact it was just a pretense to get me alone and make fun of me. That humiliation and betrayal wounded me deeply, especially since it came from women. After transition, when I showed the girl that I loved and considered my best friend the changed me, I was rejected. Naively, I had assumed that the change would make the world accept me more. But that was just another one of a long line of pipedreams that never came true. As my therapist said, my world will accept me only if I accept myself, regardless of gender or whatever. These are all components of why I am the way I am.

During the times that I daydream, I dream of a day when I am just accepted normally, and I so desperately want that. My dreams are boring that way - to want to be just like everyone else, and not someone special.

Read some of my poems and stories in BCTS and you can probably get a flavor of what I am talking about.

I so desperately want to be just a normal person - no one special, just a regular person. I am arrogant enough now that I think that might even actually come true.

bobbysig-blue.png
To see Bobbie's "Working Girl" blogs, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
To see all of Bobbie's BCTS blogposts, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/blog/bobbie-c
To see all of Bobbie's stories on BCTS, click on this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot

The Working Girl Blog #9

Bobbie, if that is you in the jogging suit, it's no wonder that they jogged with you.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Nope, not me

bobbie-c's picture

Nope, the girl in the title pic isn't me. Wish it was...

It was just a picture of a girl I saw on the net that was a brunette, and had a blue n white outfit on. The magic of search engines. You know me - I try to match the pics I use with my blogs n stories as best I can.

bobbysig-blue.png
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/14775/roberta-j-cabot

You should be a Pair?

Maybe the girls think that you and he would be a good pair. NOT a good idea in my opinion. I hope that you do get a bf, but it is not good to have an office romance. My friends are telling me that my best chance at romance is to find a FtM who is Muslim. You got any idea what the chances of that are? LOLOL

It is gonna be a ticklish thing to find a bf. Still, it looks like you are adapting well at the office.
Congrats.

Khadijah Gwen