An update on my blog post: "Need advice,etc."

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As promised, here's the update on my meeting with my sisters and the lawyer.

My housemate went with me and stayed right with me through the whole meeting. When we walked in, early, by the way, my sisters were already there, with one of my nieces. None of them would even met my eyes, so things were kinda tense for several minutes.

The lawyer showed up and we all trooped after her to the meeting room, where Mom's wishes, and the total size of her bequest to us kids was finally revealed. I cannot reveal the size of the total value, but suffice it to say it would finance my complete transition, through surgery and everything else needed.

Thanks, however, to Mom's perspicacity, none of us will be getting a lump sum. We will be receiving monthly payments, tailored to the needs of each of us, individually.

Anyway, during the meeting, we all talked, but the atmosphere was somewhat...frosty. I did kid a bit with my sisters and they seemed to respond, but not the way they would have before. Throughout the whole meeting, my niece refused to meet my eyes, or even look at me, which saddened me. Maybe I expected too much from all of them, but I thought their intelligence, which ALL of them have, would win out over prejudice and narrow-minded, religious dogma. Guess I should have known better, huh?

After the meeting, I stayed behind to discuss my...unique requirements and needs with the lawyer, who is, again, an old family friend. She started our private discussion with, "You look good! Very nice." I thanked her, of course, and then got down to the meat of what I need.

I told her about needing an orchiectomy, as well as wanting, NEEDING, to get free of Social Services assistance. It's become a self image, self confidence thing with me now. I also broached the possibility of replacing my old, male clothing, as well as getting a decent wig or two, reminding her that my sister, the executor of Mom's will, does not want to hear about 'those' things. I'll be depending on the lawyer to intercede for me, with my sister, since she seems to understand what I'm going through and what I'm facing, transition-wise.

My housemate, Tina, told me, after the meeting was over and we were in the car, that she was just waiting for one of my sisters or my niece to say ANYTHING out of line to me, at which point she was going to verbally dismember them, saying something like,

"What is wrong with you people? Can't you see that Cathy is the same person she always was, just in a different package? _I_ love her just the way she is, and I'm just her friend! Why can't you three wake up?" Tina is a real friend, and I love her so much.

So, now I wait some more. Disbursements/payments from Mom's legacy can begin almost immediately, but we do have to wait 7 months, legally, to allow any creditors that might still have claims against her. (There are none, but we have to wait the required time anyway.)

What it boils down to is, whatever I end up getting, it's more than I had before. I'd rather have Mom still here, but that isn't possible, so I intend to get my fair share by whatever means necessary. That might sound mercenary, but it really is just looking out for my interests, and getting what Mom WANTED me to have. I hate, absolutely HATE to have to be at odds with my sisters, but it's their choice, not mine.

Besides, my REAL family, those who love me and help me and stand by me, is here, online. Along with my friends and co-workers, YOU are my family, my family of choice, and I do love you all AS family.

Thanks for being there, for listening, for everything.

Now and forever,
Catherine Lindad Michel

Comments

News

I guess the news is as good as it gets, hon.

It sounds like you were respectful and adult about the whole thing and while they may not have been open or friendly, they weren't actively hostile in front of the lawyer.

Give them time and space -- who knows, they may come around.

Love and sisterly smooches,
Lainie

Hugs!

I'd hoped that perhaps they could let go of whatever notions they had and just see their 'sister'. That didn't happen but nothing bad occurred either.

Hugs Cathy

grover

I'm happy for you.

I'm glad things went as well as they could. I'm very happy that you now have the monitary means to speed your transition along. Good for you. I'm sorry that things did not go so well with your family. On the other hand I'm glad that things did not get bad with your family today. Just keep your head up.

Jessica Marie

Two things you accomplished today

First of all you stood your ground, I am proud of you. Second of all, you did make an impression on your sisters. It may not have been to you significant and although their response was tacit it was acceptance.
I'm sure you were discussed throughout the rest of the day. Perhaps with adverse statements, but most of all you did let them know you were going to be you.
Family members are usually (not all the time) our hardest barrier to cross. Once they come to realize you are not demented or over powerimg i'm sure in given time you may have
two allies on your side.
Your niece may have been told things about you that did not quite add up today. don't over judge her she maybe the first ally you will have.
Barriers were knocked down however subtle, no mattter how you look at it the walls have begun to crumble.
The family attorney is already an ally, a plus for you. Healing takes time. I'm sure your sisters are going to find ways to make amends and eventually they will be giving you beauty and clothing tips.
Had they been totally against your choice i am sure that things would have been said, but they were not.
Give your self a hug and a pat on the back.
Now pack all that male attire. find a good will or used clothing box and donate.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

Well Done

joannebarbarella's picture

Another hurdle overcome. Just think about it. You're really rolling with your RLT and I know you will continue to do so,
Hugs,
Joanne